96+ Glue Jokes & Puns: Stick Around for Laughs!
Get ready to stick around for some seriously funny business, because we’re about to dive into a world of glue puns! π This isn’t your average, everyday list of jokes – oh no, we’ve got the best, most clever puns and humor that’ll have you stuck laughing. Whether you’re a kid or just a kid at heart, get ready for some adhesive-ly awesome fun with this ultimate list of glue jokes! π€ͺ You’ll be glued to this page, we guarantee it! β¨
Top Glue Jokes – Best Picks
- Why did the glue lose its job at the library? Because it got caught shelf-binding!
- I’m making a horror movie about a kidnapped bottle of glue… It’s got a really gripping plot.
- What’s the most adhesive band in the world? A glue-tarist!
- My arts and crafts project went badly wrong. I used the wrong glue. Turns out it was just superglue-ful thinking.
- I went to a party with all the different types of glue… It was incredible, they really knew how to stick together.
- My friend said his new job was stressful, dealing with faulty glue all day… He said it was really un-bonding.
- My friend said he was starting a glue business… I told him I thought he’d really stick with it.
- Why don’t they allow glue on planes anymore? They’re afraid it might cause a sticky situation.
- What’s the most romantic type of glue? You’ve got to hand it to cyanoacrylate – that stuff really knows how to make a bond last!
- I tried to start a glue factory in the desert… But the business plan just wouldnβt stick.
- What does glue eat for breakfast? Sticky buns, of course!
- Whatβs the difference between glue and a gossipy neighbor? One sticks to facts, the other sticks to you!
- Why is it so hard to have a serious conversation with glue? It always takes things literally!
- I just failed my glue-ology exam… I guess I wasnβt prepared to be tested on sticking power.

Clever Glue Puns – Best Picks
- What did the glue say to the stamp? We make a great pair!
- I used to be addicted to glue, but I’m feeling much more attached now.
- Did you hear about the guy who fell in love with the glue stick? He’s really stuck on her.
- My attempt at making glue from yak milk was a dismal failure. It was yakky.
- I’m starting a glue company. If it doesn’t work out, I’ll just have to stick with my day job.
- Why did the picture go to jail? It got framed! And the glue is the key witness.
- What’s the most loyal school supply? The glue stick. It’s always sticking by your side.
- Never tell a secret in a woodworking shop. The walls have ears and the tables are glued to their chairs.
- I tried to explain to my friend why his glue-based business plan wouldn’t work, but he just wouldn’t let go.
- My art project is a real mess. It’s like someone let a toddler loose with glitter and glue.
- Why didn’t the glue cross the road? It was stuck in a jam.
- The glue bottle married the scissors. They said their bond was unbreakable.
- I’m not sure what’s wrong with my glue. It says “fast-acting” but it’s really holding things up.
- I tried to write a song about glue, but it kept getting stuck in my head.
Funny Glue One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Glue Jokes
- My wife told me to get my act together. I told her I was fresh out of glue.
- I used to be addicted to glue, but Iβm sticking to gum these days.
- What’s the difference between glue and a bad dancer? One steps on your toes, the other sticks to them.
- I tried to write a song about glue, but the lyrics just wouldn’t come together.
- You know, Iβd give my right arm for some glue right now…wait, nevermind, I need that to apply it!
- Why are fish so bad at making things with glue? They’re all wet.
- Iβm writing a book about all the different uses of glue β I just canβt seem to put it down!
- Never trust atoms, they make up everything. Except glue, that’s bonding on another level.
- What did the glue say to the stamp? We make a great pair – we stick together through thick and thin!
- I took my glue to art school. Turns out, it already had a pretty good grasp on things.
- My friend’s job is so boring, he literally watches glue dry. He says it’s riveting!
- Did you hear about the guy who ate a whole tube of glue? He said it was delicious, but he’s feeling kind of stuck on it.
- Iβm opening a nightclub for glue enthusiasts. Itβs called βSticky Situationβ.
Glue QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Glue
- Q: Why did the glue lose its job at the library? A: It kept holding the books hostage!
- Q: What’s a construction worker’s favorite type of music? A: Anything with a good beat…and plenty of glue-tar!
- Q: Did you hear about the glue that went to art school? A: Now it’s a real masterpiece maker!
- Q: What did the glue say to the stamp? A: We make a great pair…stick with me!
- Q: How do you fix a cracked pumpkin? A: With a pumpkin patch…and some super glue!
- Q: Why did the glue cross the road? A: To prove he wasn’t chicken…or maybe he just got stuck.
- Q: What do you call a cow with no legs? A: Ground beef! (What’d you think, I’d say glue?)
- Q: Why did the detective need glue at the crime scene? A: He was trying to piece together the clues!
- Q: What did the glue say when it was praised for a job well done? A: “Aw, it was nothing. Just sticking to my principles!”
- Q: What’s a ghost’s favorite type of glue? A: Boo paste!
- Q: Why donβt they let glue on planes anymore? A: They caught him trying to hold up the wings!
- Q: What’s a teacher’s favorite type of glue? A: Grade-A adhesive, of course!
- Q: Did you hear about the inventor who made edible glue? A: Now thatβs what I call food for thought!
- Q: Whatβs a musicianβs favorite glue? A: Any kind that holds a band together!
Dad Jokes About Glue: Pun-Filled Quips
- What’s the most dependable glue? A good first impression! You can only make one.
- I used to work in a glue factory. Tough job, I got stuck there for months!
- My son got in trouble for gluing googly eyes to everything in the house. I told him, “That’s eye-ronic, considering you never listen.”
- Whatβs the clumsiest insect? A bumble bee, they always bump into things. But what do they use to fix things? Bumble Gum!
- I accidentally used glitter glue on my sandwich this morning. Now I’m worried I’ll never find my appetite… it’s probably out sparkling somewhere.
- My wife hates it when I eat glue sticks. She says it’s an unhealthy habit I need to kick.
- Did you hear about the detective who loved using glue as evidence? He always said, “I’ve got my eye on you… because it’s stuck there!”
- My son said, “Dad, can you make me a sandwich?” I said, “Poof! You’re a sandwich!” He didn’t think it was funny, but I thought it was hilarious… maybe I should have used glue.
- Never bring superglue to a tug-of-war. Youβll be stuck with the consequences!
- I tried to learn how to make glue from scratch. Turns out, itβs really hard to come unglued from the directions!
- My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it. So I took it to the movies. It loved that sticky floor!
- What’s the least sticky glue? The kind that’s all talk and no stick-tion!
- I wondered why the frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me⦠oh, wait. No, it was just stuck to my face.
- My wife told me to get the kids ready for bed, but I think they glued themselves to the TV. Those little stinkers!
Glue Jokes and Puns for Kids
- Why did the glue go to the hospital? Because it was feeling very sticky!
- What did the glue say to the paper? We should stick together!
- What’s a glue stick’s favorite dance? The stick-y boogie!
- Why didn’t the glue cross the road? It was stuck!
- What did the mom say to her messy kid who used glue for hair gel? “Let’s just hope this is a phase you’ll grow out of!”
- What’s a teacher’s favorite kind of glue? One that doesn’t glue their fingers together during art class!
- Why did the glue get a job at the post office? It was great at handling addresses!
- How do trees get on the internet? They log in! Get it? Log-in! Like with glue!
- What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato!
- My art project is a mess, I used invisible glue! Now I can’t even see the problem!
- Why don’t they let glue on airplanes? They’re afraid it’ll hold the whole plane together!
- Whatβs brown and sticky? A stick!
- Why donβt they let bears make glue? They only make sticky messes!
- Knock, knock?\ Who’s there?\ Glue. \ Glue who?\ Glad to see you too!
Glue Jokes and Puns for Elders
- Why don’t they trust atoms? Because they make up everything, even the glue holding society together!
- My therapist suggested I try bonding with my estranged son over a shared hobby. I told him, “We’ll see how it goes. The last time we tried, his model airplane ended up stuck to my forehead.”
- I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey… but then I turned myself around. Now I just dabble in arts and crafts β I hear glue is a gateway drug.
- Retirement is great! I finally have time for all those projects I was putting off… or should I say, gluing off?
- They say a picture is worth a thousand words. Apparently, a bottle of glue is worth a thousand apologies – especially to my grandkids.
- My doctor said I need to reduce my stress levels. So, I took up scrapbooking. Turns out, arguing with decorative scissors is not relaxing.
- Remember that time in art class when we thought glitter was the answer to everything? Turns out, it was just creating more problems for future archaeologists… and cleaning crews.
- My grandkids say I’m stuck in my ways. They just don’t understand the adhesive power of tradition!
- I tried to explain to my grandson that “googling” something wasn’t always the answer. He just stared at me blankly and said, “You mean like, using actual glue?” Kids these days…
- I bought a self-help book titled “How to Get Unstuck in Life.” It was delivered glued shut. The irony was not lost on me.
- My friend said I should try “decoupage.” Is that French for “giving up? Because honestly, at my age, sometimes a little glue and glitter is the only solution.
- You know youβre getting old whenβ¦ you start using superglue for things other than fixing broken china. Like, say, your aching joints.
- I may not be as young as I used to be, but I’m like a fine vintage wine: full-bodied, complex… and very difficult to get out of the carpet once spilled.
Glue Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media
- My career goal? To be the CEO of a glue factory. I already have a sticky note reminding me. π
- Just saw a glue stick at the store having an existential crisis. It was asking, “Is this all I’m good for?” π€
- My relationship with glue is very strong. We just really stick together. β€οΈ
- What’s the most dedicated type of glue? Gorilla Glue. It’s willing to die for its job. πͺ
- You know, being a glue stick must be stressful… All that pressure to keep things together. π¬
- Never bring superglue to a fight. It’ll be a sticky situation. π
- I’m trying to cut down on my glue addiction. It’s really hard to detach myself. π₯
- Heard a rumor that Elmer’s Glue is getting a divorce. Apparently, things just weren’t sticking with them anymore. π
- Tried to write a song about glue, but I couldn’t find the right words. They all kept getting stuck in my head. πΆ
- What do you call it when a sheep uses glue? A baaaaaaaaad idea! π
- My friend said he’d invent waterproof glue, but nothing came of it. It was all washed up. π
- I’m starting to think my dog stole my super glue. He’s been looking up to me even more than usual. πΆ
That’s all, folks! Don’t get stuck browsing for more.
We’ve stuck with it to the end, haven’t we? Hopefully, these glue puns and jokes have left you feeling anything but un-stuck. Don’t let the laughter end here! For more adhesive-ly funny puns and jokes, explore the rest of our website. We guarantee you’ll be stuck on fun!