95+ Date Night Puns & Jokes to Make You LOL
Get ready to laugh your 😂socks😂 off because it’s date night, and we’ve got the jokes to prove it! Whether you need some puns to share with your honey or just a good chuckle, this list of the best date night jokes has something for everyone. Don’t worry, these puns are PG-rated – perfect for sharing with the kids, too! 😉 Get ready for some clever humor and get those funny bones tickled! 🎉
Top Date Night Jokes – Best Picks
- Why don’t oysters ever go on dates? Because they’re always shellfish! 🦪
- I wanted to take my date to a romantic restaurant, but they said it was fully booked. Guess that’s why they call it reservations. 🤷♂️
- What’s the difference between a bad date and a root canal? On a bad date, you can’t use laughing gas. 😬
- Me trying to choose a movie for date night: “Do you like rom-coms or horror?” Date: “I like suspense.” Me: “Okay, great! Suspense is killing me!” 😨
- What do you call a date with a calendar? Making plans for the future! 😉🗓️
- My date said they loved bad boys. So I showed up late with a stolen library book. 😈📚
- Date: “I only date people who are intellectually stimulating.” Me: “Ooh, that’s a big word for someone who likes me!” 😅
- What do you call a fruit that’s always on time? A punctual date. 😜
- My date said I was too romantic for them. I was devastated. It was love at first sight, but I guess it wasn’t meant to brie. 🧀💔
- Where do math teachers go on dates? Dinner and a movie, then straight home. They can’t afford to be out too late with all those problems to solve! 🧮
- I told my date I make amazing sandwiches. They didn’t believe me until I pulled out my panini press. 😏🥪
- My ideal date night? Ordering pizza, snuggling on the couch, and arguing over what movie to watch. The classics never get old! 🍕🥰
- I think my date went well. They said they wanted to see me again tomorrow. Too bad I didn’t catch their name… 🙃
- Remember, a successful date is all about the connection. Especially if your WiFi is down. 😜💻
Clever Date Night Puns – Best Picks
- “Wanna go on a date night? I promise it won’t be just another date-astrophe.” 😉
- “This restaurant is so romantic, it’s definitely not a date-rocious choice.”
- “I’m so glad we’re going out tonight. Staying in was getting a little date-monotonous.” 😴
- “Pick you up at 8? I’m date-stined to see you smile tonight.” ✨
- “This whole night feels like a dream! Are you sure you’re real and not just a figment of my date-magination?” 💭
- “Dinner and a movie? That’s so date-ypical. Let’s get wild and play checkers!” 😜
- “Hold on, let me take a picture for Instagram. I need to document this date-lightful evening.” 📸
- “Don’t worry, I booked a babysitter for tonight. We can finally have some quality time without the kids date-railing our plans.” 🤫
- “You look absolutely date-zzing tonight! Where did you get that outfit?” 🤩
- “Being with you turns every day into a date-licious adventure!” ❤️
- “I’m date-rmined to make tonight unforgettable!” 😎
Funny Date Night One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Date Night Jokes
- Our date nights are like fine wine; we only have them when the kids are fermented away.
- I’m on a seafood diet for date night. I see food, and I eat it.
- My idea of a perfect date night involves takeout, sweatpants, and arguing over who has to get up to grab the remote.
- I tried to have a romantic date night planned to a “T”, but I forgot what “R”omantic meant.
- My love life is like a fruit fly – its lifespan is about one date night.
- I wanted to impress my date with my knowledge of fine wine, but all I could think to say was, “This one tastes purple.”
- My date night plans were foiled when my dog ate my reservation confirmation…and then the table.
- Date night? Baby, I can make any night feel like a Tuesday with my cooking.
- Our date night was so romantic, even the mosquitos were holding hands.
- My bank account after date night looks like I tried to pay with Monopoly money.
- I’m not saying our date night was awkward, but the waiter offered us a bib and some crayons.
- I’m calling our date night “Operation: Find My Way Back to My Apartment By Morning.”
- The only reason I love cooking my partner dinner for date night is so they don’t expect me to on any other night.
- My dating app bio says I’m looking for someone to share adventures and takeout with. Mainly the takeout, because adventures cost money.
Date Night QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Date Night
- Q: Why did the calendar maker have a terrible date night? A: Because his days were numbered!
- Q: Where do avocados go on a date night? A: A guacomole-y!
- Q: Did you hear about the couple who fell in love on a roller coaster? A: It was love at first fright!
- Q: Why was the date night at the library so quiet? A: They were both booked solid!
- Q: What’s the worst kind of music to listen to on a date night? A: Anything with a really long outro. Talk about a mood killer!
- Q: Why are ghosts terrible at dating? A: They’re always getting ghosted!
- Q: What did the ocean say to the beach on date night? A: “Nothing, it just waved!”
- Q: Why did the scarecrow win “Most Eligible Bachelor”? A: Because he was outstanding in his field!
- Q: My date last night was like a fine wine. A: Really? How so? Q: I’m pretty sure it gave me a headache.
- Q: What did the right eye say to the left eye on their date night? A: Between you and me, something smells!
- Q: You want to know what my ideal date night is? A: Tell me more… Q: Just kidding, I’m not telling you. I want it to be a surprise!
- Q: What’s a cannibal’s favorite type of date? A: I don’t know, they never spill the beans!
- Q: Why did the candle get stood up for date night? A: Because his love was just a flicker!
Dad Jokes About Date Night: Pun-Filled Quips
- Wife: “Honey, are you sure you made reservations for our date night?” Me: “Of course, I booked us a table for two at the library. We’re having a blind date with destiny!”
- Son: “Dad, what’s the most important thing to bring on a date?” Me: “A calendar! Gotta keep track of those dates, son.”
- Wife: “Date night at the museum? How romantic!” Me: “I know, right? Maybe we’ll see a dinosaur fossil… on a date!”
- Daughter: “Dad, any advice for my first date?” Me: “Just be yourself, be polite, and don’t forget to order the date loaf for dessert.”
- Wife: “This restaurant is so fancy. What kind of food do they even serve?” Me: “Mostly dates, I hear. It’s a pretty exclusive date night spot.”
- Friend: “How do you keep the romance alive after all these years?” Me: “Simple! Every night’s date night… when you can’t remember the last time you went out.”
- Me: pointing to a bowl of fruit “Hey honey, wanna go out for a date?” grabs a date “Or we could just stay in?”
- Wife: getting ready for date night “Honey, does this dress make me look dated?” Me: “Darling, you’re timeless!”
- Son: “Dad, what does RSVP mean on this date night invitation?” Me: “It stands for ‘Remember Snacks, Very important Part.'”
- Me: on date night “I’m having such a grape time!” pulls out a bunch of grapes “Get it? Date night… grapes?”
- Wife: “I’m so glad we’re finally having a date night. It feels like it’s been forever.” Me: “Forever? That’s a long date! We better pace ourselves.”
- Waitress: “Can I interest you in our special tonight, a romantic candlelit dinner for two?” Me: “Sure, but can you light the candles in a really, really long line? I like to make a date out of it.”
- Wife: “This movie theater is perfect for date night, it’s so quiet!” Me: “You know what else is quiet? A library… full of books… about dates.”
Date Night Jokes and Puns for Kids
- Q: Why do owls make great dates? A: They like to do things “hoot” together! 🦉💕
- Q: What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano on their date? A: “I lava you a lot!”🌋❤️
- Q: Where do math teachers go on date nights? A: The multiplication square! They love finding their perfect match. 🧮😄
- Q: What treat do bees love on date night? A: Honeycombs, of course! They’re always buzzing about them. 🐝🍯
- Q: Why did the calendar break up with the date? A: It said, “I feel so booked! I need some space.” 📅💔
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Figs. Figs who? Figs the doorbell, it’s date night! 🚪🎉
- My dad brought prunes to share on his date. What a weird date idea! Yeah, it sounds a little wrinkled to me too! 👴🏻👵🏻
- Q: What do you call two snails who love each other very much? A: They’re sluggo goals! 🐌💖
- My parents are going on a date night and speaking French to each other. Ooh la la! 👨👩👧👦🇫🇷
- Q: Why did the teddy bear say no to the date? A: Because he was already stuffed!🧸🙅♀️🙅♂️
- My babysitter told me to go to bed early because my parents need some “alone time” tonight. Sounds mysterious…like a spy mission date night!🕵️♀️🕵️♂️🤫
- Q: What did the boy crayon say to the girl crayon on Valentine’s Day? A: “I’m drawn to you!”🖍️💕
- Q: Where did the pencil take the eraser on their date? A: The drawing board, to make some memories! ✏️🎨
- My parents are going to the movies for date night, and they let me pick the snacks! Ooh, popcorn and a movie! Sounds like a- DATE-astre for your parents’ waistline!🍿🥤😈
Date Night Jokes and Puns for Elders
- My wife suggested we spice up date night by going to a Jazz club… I said, “Honey, at our age, our idea of ‘improv’ is remembering where we parked.”
- You know you’re old when date night involves comparing fiber supplements… and the winning brand gets a romantic back rub with the arthritis cream.
- Date night used to be champagne and dancing… Now it’s chamomile tea and reminiscing about how we used to drink champagne and dance.
- My wife booked a cooking class for date night… I told her I already know how to heat up leftovers. What’s the next level?
- What’s the difference between a date and a raisin? You can take a raisin to the movies but taking a date is more traditional.
- Wife: Honey, remember when we used to go out on dates? Husband: I do! What time does bingo start?
- Date night at our age is pretty simple: Good lighting, comfortable shoes, and someone to remind us what we’re celebrating.
- Doctor told me to take my wife of 50 years somewhere she’d never been before… So, I suggested the kitchen while I made dinner.
- Our grandkids gave us a board game for date night. It’s called “Aggravation”… I told them they really shouldn’t have. They insisted it was perfect for us.
- Date night used to mean a late movie and a nightcap… Now it’s an early bird special and making sure we took our meds.
- Our idea of a wild Friday night now? Staying up past 9 pm to watch the news… and hoping it doesn’t give us indigestion.
- Wife said she wanted to re-live our first date for our anniversary … So, I picked her up at her retirement home and we awkwardly sat in silence.
- Date night got a little too literal last week… We spent the whole evening arguing over which year the movie came out.
- My doctor told me I need more “dates” in my life… So, I bought a calendar. She didn’t find it as funny as I did.
Date Night Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media
- I told my partner I wanted to spice up our date night. They brought me a calendar and a bottle of sriracha. I guess I should’ve been more specific. 🔥🌶️🗓️
- Managed to snag a reservation at the most exclusive restaurant in town for date night. Turns out “exclusive” meant “no wifi.” Guess we’ll actually have to talk to each other. 💀📱
- My ideal date night? Netflix, chill, and someone to tell me I’m wrong when I say “This is definitely the episode we left off on.” 🕵️♀️🍿
- Date night’s going great, my credit card is having a more romantic evening than I am. 😭💳🥂
- Date night is like a trial run for marriage. Except instead of a judge, you’ve got a waiter judging your every food choice. 👩⚖️👨⚖️
- “Babe, I booked a surprise for date night!” “Is it dinner at that restaurant I love?” “Well, it’s a surprise…” “Is it a home-cooked meal?” “It rhymes with ‘Frisbee golf.'” 🥏🤯
- Relationship Status: Trying to convince my partner that “folding laundry in our pajamas” counts as a date night. 🧺😴
- Tried to learn some magic tricks for date night. Turns out making good food disappear quickly isn’t as impressive as I thought. 🪄🍕
- What’s the most important ingredient in a successful date night recipe? A dash of spontaneity and a whole lot of “pretending I don’t constantly check my phone.” ✨📵
- My bank account after planning a date night: “You could say we’re practically strangers now.” 💸👻
- Just realized I’ve reached the age where a “wild” date night is falling asleep on the couch before 10 pm. 👵👴😴
- The only “Netflix & Chill” happening on our date night is the leftover pizza. 🍕🥶
- Planning a date night around my pet’s nap schedule is peak adulthood. 🐶😴🗓️
- Someone asked me what my ideal date night is. I showed them a picture of my Amazon delivery driver. 📦🥰
- Me getting ready for date night: puts on nice shirt, remembers it’s laundry day. Back to square one. 👔😩
Date’s up! Now go make ’em chuckle. 😉
Hope these date night jokes and puns gave you a chuckle or two! Remember, laughter is the best aphrodisiac, besides maybe a perfectly cooked steak. 😉 For more hilarious puns and jokes that are sure to tickle your funny bone, explore the rest of our punny website. You’re guaranteed to find something that’ll make you the life of your next date!
