96+ Possum Puns & Jokes: You’ll O-Possum-Lively Laugh!
Get ready to laugh your paws off because we’ve got the ultimate list of possum jokes and puns that are sure to tickle your funny bone! 😂 Whether you’re a fan of clever wordplay or just love a good chuckle, this collection of possum humor is the best! We’ve got something for everyone, from kids to adults. So, get ready to explore a world of opossum-ly funny puns and jokes! 🎉
Top Possum Jokes – Best Picks
Why did the possum cross the road? To play possum… on the other side!
What do you call a possum that loves taking risks? A possum-bility!
Why don’t possums ever get invited to parties? They always end up playing dead on the snack table!
What’s a possum’s favorite type of music? Anything dead-icated to them!
Heard about the possum who went to art school? He really wanted to learn how to draw… his breath away!
What do you get if you cross a possum and a ghost? I don’t know, but it sure knows how to disappear quickly!
Why was the possum embarrassed at the costume party? He came as himself and everyone thought he was faking it!
What position do possums play in baseball? Left-out field!
What’s a possum’s favorite Shakespeare play? “A Midsummer Night’s Scream!”
Why did the possum fail his driving test? He kept playing possum at every red light!
You know you’ve found a truly ancient possum when… It’s playing dead in a museum!
How can you tell if a possum is lying? Its lips are moving… very, very still!
What do you call a group of possums playing music? An o-possum orchestra!
Why don’t possums make good detectives? They always assume the worst!
Clever Possum Puns – Best Picks
I tried to explain a pun about possums to my friend, but he just stared at me blankly. Guess you could say he was… opossuming indifference.
What do you call a possum that loves to gamble? A risk-it possum!
Why are possums such bad liars? You can always see right through their little possum-bilities!
Did you hear about the possum who won an award? It was completely opossum-sible!
My friend said he wanted a pet that was low maintenance. So, I got him a possum. He was not opossum-ed with the suggestion.
What do you get when you cross a possum with a ghost? A poss-boo!
This new restaurant claims to serve “the world’s fanciest possum.” I’m pretty sure that’s a faux-sum advertisement.
Why did the possum get kicked out of the library? He kept shouting “Quiet, please! I’m trying to read!”
A possum’s favorite Shakespeare play? Opossum-let!
Never underestimate a possum. They’re more clever than they opossum!
What’s a possum’s favorite type of music? Anything but heavy metal, it’s too thrash-possum!
Why did the possum cross the road? I don’t know, but it definitely wasn’t to get to the other side. He just plays opossum-e!
My attempt to make a possum pie was an absolute disaster. It was an opossum-ibilty!
Funny Possum One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Possum Jokes
I tried to explain to the possum that playing dead wasn’t going to work in a Zoom meeting, but I guess he was just possuming deaf.
This morning I saw a possum breakdancing. I thought to myself, “Wow, that’s one possum-bly talented creature.”
The possum went to the doctor because he was feeling sluggish. Turns out, he was just o-possum-ed!
I went to a party last night, and it was full of possums. I’ve never seen so much playing dead in my life, it was o-possum-ing!
Why did the possum cross the road? To get to the other snide!
My friend told me he saw a possum driving a car. I said, “Are you shrew-re about that?”
Why don’t possums celebrate Christmas? They can’t find any decent pre-sent ideas!
Why are possums so good at playing hide and seek? Because they’re masters of camouf-large!
What do you get if you cross a possum with a skunk? I’m not sure, but it probably plays dead REALLY convincingly.
A possum walks into a library and asks for books on playing dead. The librarian whispers, “They’re right behind you!”
I told my friend my spirit animal was a possum. He said, “Really? Mine’s a lion.” I said, “Yeah, I could tell.”
Life as a possum: You’re either playing dead or hanging by a thread.
My friend said he wanted to be reincarnated as a possum. I said, “Don’t be ridi-cruel!”
Possum QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Possum
Q: Why did the possum cross the road? A: To play possum… on the other side!
Q: What do you call a possum who loves taking risks? A: A possum-bility taker!
Q: What’s a possum’s favorite kind of music? A: Anything they can play possum-ly!
Q: Why don’t possums like telling secrets in cornfields? A: Too much ear-resistable eavesdropping!
Q: Did you hear about the possum who became a lawyer? A: He’s known for his excellent closing argu-mendacity!
Q: What do you call a possum that’s always getting into trouble? A: A little rascal… possum!
Q: Why are possums such bad liars? A: They’re always giving themselves a-way!
Q: What’s a possum’s favorite Shakespearean play? A: Hamlet, of course! To be or not to be… playing possum, that is the question!
Q: Why did the possum get kicked out of the library? A: He kept shouting “Quiet, please! I’m trying to play dead!”
Q: What do you call a group of possums singing together? A: An o-possum!
Q: What do you get if you cross a possum with a ghost? A: I don’t know, but it sure knows how to play dead!
Q: Why did the possum get a job at the bakery? A: They heard he was great at playing dead-ough!
Q: How do you know a possum is telling the truth? A: That’s the problem, you never do!
Dad Jokes About Possum: Pun-Filled Quips
You know, possums get a bad rep, but I find them quite charming. They really grow on you… literally!
What do you call a possum that works at a restaurant? A wait-o-possum!
Why don’t possums ever get invited to parties? They spend the whole night playing possum!
A possum walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says, “Hey, your face looks familiar. Aren’t you banned from here?” The possum replies, “I’m possum-tively sure you’re mistaken!”
What’s a possum’s favorite kind of music? Anything they can play possum-phony.
Why did the possum cross the road? I don’t know, but it sure wasn’t to get to the other side. That’s none of my possum-business!
What’s a possum’s favorite sport? Foot-possum!
Never try to sneak up on a possum. They have possum-terly incredible hearing.
My son asked me if possums lay eggs. I said, “I don’t know son, that’s a question for a possum-atologist!”
Why are possums such bad poker players? They always have that tell-tail sign.
Heard there’s a new possum band taking the world by storm. They call themselves “The O-Possum-bilities”!
Possum Jokes and Puns for Kids
Why did the possum cross the road? To get to the “o-possum” side!
What do you call a possum that’s always getting into trouble? A little bit “possum-bly” naughty!
What’s a possum’s favorite game to play outside? Hide-and-seek… but they’re not very good at the “seek” part!
What does a possum say when it’s surprised? “Well, this is im-possum-ble!”
Why did the possum get a job at the bank? Because he was great at playing “dead” on command!
Where do possums go to watch movies? The “possum-plex”, of course!
What’s black and white and sleeps all day? A possum wearing pajamas!
What do you call a possum that loves to sing? A possum with “o-possum-tional” talent!
Why don’t possums like telling secrets? They always “o-possum-bly” let them slip!
How do possums get around town? They take the “o-possum-bile”!
What do you call a possum that’s good at math? A “possum-tician”!
Why didn’t the possum do well in school? Because he kept “playing possum” in class!
Why did the possum get invited to all the parties? Because he was always the life of the “possum”!
What’s a possum’s favorite kind of music? Anything with a good “o-possum”!
Possum Jokes and Puns for Elders
Why don’t possums have to pay rent? They play deadbeat whenever the landlord comes around.
Heard about the possum who went on a crime spree? He was known for his signature move… the “possum robbery.”
My doctor told me to incorporate more possum into my diet. Now I feel like I’m just going through the motions.
A possum walks into a bar owned by an opossum… the bartender says, “Hey, we have a drink named after you!” The possum replies, “What? You have a drink called Steve?”
You know, possums have it rough. They’re constantly getting into sticky situations, and then everyone expects them to just… let go.
What do you get when you cross a possum with a ghost? I don’t know, but it sure can haunt a trash can!
My grandpa tried to teach a possum how to play poker. Turns out, they’re terrible bluffers.
I tried to start a possum support group, but no one showed up. They must have all forgotten.
Why did the possum cross the road? I don’t know, but it probably wasn’t on purpose.
What do you call a possum who’s always getting into trouble? A repeat offender.
Heard about the possum who ran for office? His campaign slogan was “Play dead, not politics.”
A possum walks into a library and heads straight for the self-help section. The librarian asks, “Can I help you find something?” The possum replies, “Yeah, got any books on how to get your act together when you’re constantly playing dead?”
Possums are masters of disguise. Too bad they only know one disguise, and it’s not very convincing.
Why don’t possums make good chefs? They always overcook their meals.
Possum Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media
Just saw a possum using a dating app. His bio said, “Looking for someone to play dead with. I’m already highly skilled.” 😂💀
My friend said possums are stupid. I said, “Hey! Don’t be mean, they’re just playing possum!” 😌🤫
You know you’re tired when you sleep like a possum… upside down in the trash. 😴🗑️ #relatable
A possum walks into a bar and says, “I’ll have a glass of your finest… just kidding, I’m broke.” And then plays dead. 💀💸 #ClassicPossum
Why are possums so good at hide-and-seek? They’re masters of disa-peer-ing! 👻🏆 #punny
My therapist told me to channel my inner possum when I’m stressed. Apparently, “playing dead” is a valid coping mechanism now. 🤷♀️🧘♀️ #selfcare
What do you call a possum with a sophisticated palate? A possum gourmet! 🤵♂️🍽️ #fancy
Life hack: When life gets tough, just eat garbage and play dead like a possum. It’s surprisingly effective. 😉🦝 #lifeadvice
I tried to explain to the possum that playing dead in the middle of the road wasn’t a good idea. He looked at me deadpan. 🙄💀 #badumtsss
I saw a sign that said, “Beware of Possum Crossing.” I thought, “What, like it’s going to attack me with cuteness?” 🥰🥺 #toopure
Why did the possum get kicked out of the orchestra? He kept playing dead during the dramatic parts. 🎻💀 #dramaqueen
I’m starting to think my neighbor’s a possum. Every time I knock on his door, he pretends he’s not home. 🤔🚪 #suspicious
You can tell it’s a rough morning when even the possum in your trash looks like it needs another cup of coffee. ☕🦝 #MondayMood
A possum’s guide to success: 1. Eat trash. 2. Play dead. 3. Repeat. Surprisingly motivational, right? 🤔🏆 #inspiration
O-possum-bly the Best Possum Pun-anza Ever!
Well, folks, we’ve reached the tail end of our possum pun-anza! We hope these jokes didn’t make you play possum from laughing too hard. If you’re still craving more groan-worthy puns and side-splitting jokes, don’t just hang around! Explore the rest of our punny website for a whole passel of hilarious content.
