96+ Possum Puns & Jokes: You’ll O-Possum-Lively Laugh!
Get ready to laugh your paws off because we’ve got the ultimate list of possum jokes and puns that are sure to tickle your funny bone! π Whether you’re a fan of clever wordplay or just love a good chuckle, this collection of possum humor is the best! We’ve got something for everyone, from kids to adults. So, get ready to explore a world of opossum-ly funny puns and jokes! π
Top Possum Jokes – Best Picks
- Why did the possum cross the road? To play possum… on the other side!
- What do you call a possum that loves taking risks? A possum-bility!
- Why don’t possums ever get invited to parties? They always end up playing dead on the snack table!
- What’s a possum’s favorite type of music? Anything dead-icated to them!
- Heard about the possum who went to art school? He really wanted to learn how to draw… his breath away!
- What do you get if you cross a possum and a ghost? I don’t know, but it sure knows how to disappear quickly!
- Why was the possum embarrassed at the costume party? He came as himself and everyone thought he was faking it!
- What position do possums play in baseball? Left-out field!
- What’s a possum’s favorite Shakespeare play? “A Midsummer Night’s Scream!”
- Why did the possum fail his driving test? He kept playing possum at every red light!
- You know you’ve found a truly ancient possum when… It’s playing dead in a museum!
- How can you tell if a possum is lying? Its lips are moving… very, very still!
- What do you call a group of possums playing music? An o-possum orchestra!
- Why don’t possums make good detectives? They always assume the worst!

Clever Possum Puns – Best Picks
- I tried to explain a pun about possums to my friend, but he just stared at me blankly. Guess you could say he was… opossuming indifference.
- What do you call a possum that loves to gamble? A risk-it possum!
- I saw a sign at the zoo that said “Please don’t feed the possums.” I thought, “Man, those pandas are getting aggressive.”
- Why are possums such bad liars? You can always see right through their little possum-bilities!
- Did you hear about the possum who won an award? It was completely opossum-sible!
- My friend said he wanted a pet that was low maintenance. So, I got him a possum. He was not opossum-ed with the suggestion.
- A possum walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says, “Hey, we have a drink named after you!” The possum replies, “What? You have a drink called Steve?”
- What do you get when you cross a possum with a ghost? A poss-boo!
- This new restaurant claims to serve “the world’s fanciest possum.” I’m pretty sure that’s a faux-sum advertisement.
- Why did the possum get kicked out of the library? He kept shouting “Quiet, please! I’m trying to read!”
- A possum’s favorite Shakespeare play? Opossum-let!
- Never underestimate a possum. They’re more clever than they opossum!
- What’s a possum’s favorite type of music? Anything but heavy metal, it’s too thrash-possum!
- Why did the possum cross the road? I don’t know, but it definitely wasn’t to get to the other side. He just plays opossum-e!
- My attempt to make a possum pie was an absolute disaster. It was an opossum-ibilty!
Funny Possum One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Possum Jokes
- I tried to explain to the possum that playing dead wasn’t going to work in a Zoom meeting, but I guess he was just possuming deaf.
- This morning I saw a possum breakdancing. I thought to myself, “Wow, that’s one possum-bly talented creature.”
- The possum went to the doctor because he was feeling sluggish. Turns out, he was just o-possum-ed!
- I went to a party last night, and it was full of possums. I’ve never seen so much playing dead in my life, it was o-possum-ing!
- Why did the possum cross the road? To get to the other snide!
- My friend told me he saw a possum driving a car. I said, “Are you shrew-re about that?”
- Why donβt possums celebrate Christmas? They can’t find any decent pre-sent ideas!
- Why are possums so good at playing hide and seek? Because theyβre masters of camouf-large!
- What do you get if you cross a possum with a skunk? Iβm not sure, but it probably plays dead REALLY convincingly.
- A possum walks into a library and asks for books on playing dead. The librarian whispers, “They’re right behind you!”
- I told my friend my spirit animal was a possum. He said, βReally? Mineβs a lion.” I said, βYeah, I could tell.β
- Life as a possum: Youβre either playing dead or hanging by a thread.
- My friend said he wanted to be reincarnated as a possum. I said, βDonβt be ridi-cruel!β
Possum QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Possum
- Q: Why did the possum cross the road? A: To play possum… on the other side!
- Q: What do you call a possum who loves taking risks? A: A possum-bility taker!
- Q: What’s a possum’s favorite kind of music? A: Anything they can play possum-ly!
- Q: Why don’t possums like telling secrets in cornfields? A: Too much ear-resistable eavesdropping!
- Q: Did you hear about the possum who became a lawyer? A: He’s known for his excellent closing argu-mendacity!
- Q: What do you call a possum that’s always getting into trouble? A: A little rascal… possum!
- Q: Why are possums such bad liars? A: They’re always giving themselves a-way!
- Q: What’s a possum’s favorite Shakespearean play? A: Hamlet, of course! To be or not to be… playing possum, that is the question!
- Q: How do you make a possum float? A: With root beer and ice cream – you make a root beer possum float!
- Q: Why did the possum get kicked out of the library? A: He kept shouting “Quiet, please! I’m trying to play dead!”
- Q: What do you call a group of possums singing together? A: An o-possum!
- Q: What do you get if you cross a possum with a ghost? A: I don’t know, but it sure knows how to play dead!
- Q: What’s a possum’s favorite board game? A: Pretendios!
- Q: Why did the possum get a job at the bakery? A: They heard he was great at playing dead-ough!
- Q: How do you know a possum is telling the truth? A: Thatβs the problem, you never do!
Dad Jokes About Possum: Pun-Filled Quips
- You know, possums get a bad rep, but I find them quite charming. They really grow on you… literally!
- What do you call a possum that works at a restaurant? A wait-o-possum!
- My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it… so I took it to the movies. We saw the new Possum-an Impossible mission.
- Why don’t possums ever get invited to parties? They spend the whole night playing possum!
- A possum walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says, βHey, your face looks familiar. Aren’t you banned from here?β The possum replies, βIβm possum-tively sure you’re mistaken!”
- What’s a possum’s favorite kind of music? Anything they can play possum-phony.
- Why did the possum cross the road? I don’t know, but it sure wasn’t to get to the other side. That’s none of my possum-business!
- You’ve heard of elf on the shelf, now get ready for β¦ possum in a blossom!
- What’s a possum’s favorite sport? Foot-possum!
- Never try to sneak up on a possum. They have possum-terly incredible hearing.
- My son asked me if possums lay eggs. I said, “I don’t know son, that’s a question for a possum-atologist!”
- Why are possums such bad poker players? They always have that tell-tail sign.
- Heard there’s a new possum band taking the world by storm. They call themselves “The O-Possum-bilities”!
- How do you make possum stew? Well first you gotta catch oneβ¦ just kidding! It’s possum-sibly the easiest recipe ever. You justβ¦ pretends to faint
Possum Jokes and Puns for Kids
- Why did the possum cross the road? To get to the “o-possum” side!
- What do you call a possum that’s always getting into trouble? A little bit “possum-bly” naughty!
- What’s a possum’s favorite game to play outside? Hide-and-seek… but they’re not very good at the “seek” part!
- What does a possum say when it’s surprised? “Well, this is im-possum-ble!”
- Why did the possum get a job at the bank? Because he was great at playing “dead” on command!
- Where do possums go to watch movies? The “possum-plex”, of course!
- What’s black and white and sleeps all day? A possum wearing pajamas!
- What do you call a possum that loves to sing? A possum with “o-possum-tional” talent!
- Why don’t possums like telling secrets? They always “o-possum-bly” let them slip!
- How do possums get around town? They take the “o-possum-bile”!
- What do you call a possum that’s good at math? A “possum-tician”!
- Why didn’t the possum do well in school? Because he kept “playing possum” in class!
- Why did the possum get invited to all the parties? Because he was always the life of the “possum”!
- What’s a possum’s favorite kind of music? Anything with a good “o-possum”!
Possum Jokes and Puns for Elders
- Why don’t possums have to pay rent? They play deadbeat whenever the landlord comes around.
- Heard about the possum who went on a crime spree? He was known for his signature move… the “possum robbery.”
- My doctor told me to incorporate more possum into my diet. Now I feel like I’m just going through the motions.
- A possum walks into a bar owned by an opossum… the bartender says, “Hey, we have a drink named after you!” The possum replies, “What? You have a drink called Steve?”
- I saw a possum at the antique shop the other day. I asked if it was for sale, and the owner said, “That’s not an antique, it’s just been playing dead a very long time!”
- You know, possums have it rough. They’re constantly getting into sticky situations, and then everyone expects them to just… let go.
- What do you get when you cross a possum with a ghost? I don’t know, but it sure can haunt a trash can!
- My grandpa tried to teach a possum how to play poker. Turns out, they’re terrible bluffers.
- I tried to start a possum support group, but no one showed up. They must have all forgotten.
- Why did the possum cross the road? I don’t know, but it probably wasn’t on purpose.
- What do you call a possum who’s always getting into trouble? A repeat offender.
- Heard about the possum who ran for office? His campaign slogan was “Play dead, not politics.”
- A possum walks into a library and heads straight for the self-help section. The librarian asks, βCan I help you find something?β The possum replies, βYeah, got any books on how to get your act together when youβre constantly playing dead?β
- Possums are masters of disguise. Too bad they only know one disguise, and it’s not very convincing.
- Why don’t possums make good chefs? They always overcook their meals.
Possum Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media
- Just saw a possum using a dating app. His bio said, “Looking for someone to play dead with. I’m already highly skilled.” ππ
- My friend said possums are stupid. I said, “Hey! Don’t be mean, they’re just playing possum!” ππ€«
- You know you’re tired when you sleep like a possum… upside down in the trash. π΄ποΈ #relatable
- A possum walks into a bar and says, “I’ll have a glass of your finest… just kidding, I’m broke.” And then plays dead. ππΈ #ClassicPossum
- Why are possums so good at hide-and-seek? They’re masters of disa-peer-ing! π»π #punny
- My therapist told me to channel my inner possum when I’m stressed. Apparently, “playing dead” is a valid coping mechanism now. π€·ββοΈπ§ββοΈ #selfcare
- What do you call a possum with a sophisticated palate? A possum gourmet! π€΅ββοΈπ½οΈ #fancy
- Life hack: When life gets tough, just eat garbage and play dead like a possum. It’s surprisingly effective. ππ¦ #lifeadvice
- I tried to explain to the possum that playing dead in the middle of the road wasn’t a good idea. He looked at me deadpan. ππ #badumtsss
- I saw a sign that said, “Beware of Possum Crossing.” I thought, “What, like it’s going to attack me with cuteness?” π₯°π₯Ί #toopure
- Why did the possum get kicked out of the orchestra? He kept playing dead during the dramatic parts. π»π #dramaqueen
- I’m starting to think my neighbor’s a possum. Every time I knock on his door, he pretends he’s not home. π€πͺ #suspicious
- You can tell it’s a rough morning when even the possum in your trash looks like it needs another cup of coffee. βπ¦ #MondayMood
- A possum’s guide to success: 1. Eat trash. 2. Play dead. 3. Repeat. Surprisingly motivational, right? π€π #inspiration
O-possum-bly the Best Possum Pun-anza Ever!
Well, folks, we’ve reached the tail end of our possum pun-anza! We hope these jokes didn’t make you play possum from laughing too hard. If you’re still craving more groan-worthy puns and side-splitting jokes, don’t just hang around! Explore the rest of our punny website for a whole passel of hilarious content.