95+ Smoke Jokes & Puns: We’re Smokin’ With Laughter!
Get ready to fire up your funny bone 🔥 because we’ve got a collection of smoke jokes and puns that are sure to leave you hazy with laughter 😂! This list of the best smoke puns and clever quips is perfect for kids and adults alike. So, clear the air and get ready for some side-splitting humor that’s sure to tickle your funny bone (without making you cough 😉). Get ready to laugh your butts off… or should we say “ash” off! 🤭 💨
Top Smoke Jokes – Best Picks
- Why don’t they allow smoking at gas stations? Because they prefer their customers well-done, not charred! 🍖🔥
- I met a magician who could make cigarettes disappear. He was amazing… Then he vanished in a puff of logic. ✨🚬
- What do you get when a ghost quits smoking? A transparent victory. 👻🎉
- My friend tried to make a smoke signal using charcoal… He ended up with a barbecue by accident. Not the worst mistake! 🍖😄
- I told my friend I was writing a song about quitting smoking… He said, “I can’t wait to hear it… someday.” 🙄🎶
- Why did the campfire break up with the smoke? Because it said their relationship was going up in flames. 🔥💔
- You know you’ve been smoking too long when… You can’t tell if your clothes smell like smoke or if you just smell like money poorly spent. 💸👃
- What do you call a group of rabbits who hang out at a campfire? A smoke hare-em! 🐇💨
- I tried to quit smoking by switching to vaping… Turns out, my dragon costume was missing a key component all along! 🐉💨
- My doctor told me to “cut back” on smoking. I listened… Now I only light my cigarettes with lasers! 😎🚬💥
- I saw a sign that said “Beware of Smoke.” I thought to myself, “Don’t tell me what to do, I’m not scared of a little competition!” 💨💪
- Why did the cigarette go to school? To improve its puff-formance! 💨📚
- How do trees on fire greet each other? “Hey, smoking hot today, isn’t it?” 🔥🌳
- My grandpa started smoking at 16 and he lived to be 98… Proof that quitting smoking is really, really hard! 👴🚬
- I’m writing a book about the dangers of smoking… It’s a bit of a slow burn. 😉📚🔥
Clever Smoke Puns – Best Picks
- I tried to make a fire with fake cigarettes. Turns out it was just a smoke and mirrors scheme.
- I used to be a competitive smoker, but I quit. I just wasn’t cut out for that much pressure.
- What do you get if you cross a sheepdog and a campfire? Collie-flower smoke signals!
- How did the hipster burn his mouth? He ate the smokehouse barbecue before it was cool.
- My friend tried to tell me smoking is a bad habit. I told him, “That’s just what Big Tobacco wants you to think!”
- Did you hear about the detective who worked in the smokehouse? He was really good at following the smoked meats.
- Why don’t they play poker in the jungle? Too much cheetah smoke.
- What did the smoke detector say to the fireplace? “Hey, you’re looking hot!”
- My friend said his new business venture went up in smoke. I guess you could say things are looking hazy for him.
- I tried writing a song about smoking, but it didn’t work out. It was a pipe dream.
- You know you’re a true barbecue master when… You can smell the smoke signal for dinner from miles away.
- Why did the campfire break up with the marshmallow? Because it said he was too clingy, always getting all melty and wanting s’more.
- I tried to quit smoking by switching to vaping. Turns out, I just like blowing smoke rings, no matter the medium.
- What’s a dragon’s favorite type of music? Heavy metal played on a smoke machine.
Funny Smoke One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Smoke Jokes
- I tried to explain to my friend the dangers of smoking, but it all went up in smoke.
- My grandpa started smoking at a young age. He says he’s trying to quit, but old habits die hard.
- I used to be a smoker, but then I quit cold turkey. Now I just tell people I’m a reformed poultry enthusiast.
- What do you call a bear that smokes weed? A puff-alo!
- I know a guy who smokes after sex… He’s always lighting up a cigarette.
- Why did the cigarette fail its driving test? It kept getting ashed!
- What do you call a magician who works with smoke and mirrors? A haze of glory.
- I’m not saying my city has bad air quality, but I just saw a bird trying to roll a joint with a twig!
- Why did the fire quit smoking? It finally kicked the habit!
- My friend tried to start a business selling vaporized water. Turns out, it was just a lot of hot air.
- They say “where there’s smoke, there’s fire,” but if there’s too much smoke, I’m getting out of there.
- I met a genie who offered me three wishes, but he smelled strongly of cigarettes. I guess you could say he wasn’t exactly a wish-ful thinker.
- My friend says he can’t stand the smell of smoke, unless it’s coming from a barbecue. I guess you could say he’s a selective smeller.
Smoke QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Smoke
- Smoke Signals from the Pun Department:
- Q: Why did the smoke detector fail drama school? A: It lacked range. All it could do was emote one way!
- Q: What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a smoke machine? A: A foggy idea!
- Q: What did the Zen master say to the smoking caterpillar? A: “Hey, man. That’s just not your incense.”
- Q: Why was the detective suspicious of the chimney sweep? A: He found the whole thing rather smoke and mirrors.
- Q: How do trees access the internet? A: They log in with their smoke signals!
- Q: What’s a dragon’s favorite type of music? A: Anything with heavy smoke machine use. They love a good atmosphere!
- Q: What do you call a ghost’s failed attempt to light a campfire? A: A futile flame! (Because ghosts have no fuel)
- Q: What’s a smoker’s favorite Shakespeare play? A: “Othello”…because it has a lot of smothers in it!
- Q: Why don’t they allow smoking on airplanes? A: Because then everyone would be tripping!
- Q: What did the fire say to the smoke? A: You’re really blowing this out of proportion!
- Q: Why did the smoke alarm go off during the poker game? A: It sensed a bluff!
- Q: What’s a smoker’s favorite brand of detergent? A: Tide, because they’re always trying to quit the next day!
Dad Jokes About Smoke: Pun-Filled Quips
- I tried to explain to my son about the dangers of smoking. He just blew it off.
- My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it. So I took it to a cigar lounge.
- I met a magician who could make himself disappear in a cloud of smoke. I guess you could say he really vanished into thin air.
- Why don’t cannibals eat clowns? They taste funny. But how do they know? I guess they heard it on the grape-vine… Oh no, wait, that’s how they get smoked.
- I saw a sign that said “Slow Down, Smoke Ahead.” I thought, “I’m not in a hurry, I’ve got plenty of thyme.”
- Why did the smoke detector blush? It saw the fire sprinkler streaking!
- How do trees get on the internet? They log in. How do they quit smoking? They just turn over a new leaf.
- Someone asked if I knew anything about aromatherapy. I said “Give me a scent… and I’ll tell you if I’ve smelt it!”
- A meat smoker walked into a bar. The bartender said, “Hey, we have a drink named after you!” The smoker says, “What? You have a drink called Bob?”
- You know what they say about barbecue smoke? If you’re smelling it, you’re doing it right …or you’re downwind.
- I used to work in a factory making smoke bombs. I quit though, it was too much drama.
- My friend said he was quitting smoking cold turkey. I said, “That’s great! What are you going to eat instead?”
- What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeno business! And how do you catch it? You smoke it out!
- Why don’t they play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs. How do they communicate? Smoke signals!
- My wife hates it when I barbecue. She says I make too much smoke. I told her, “If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen …and come join me by the grill!”
Smoke Jokes and Puns for Kids
- What do you call a dragon who’s really good at hide-and-seek? A master of smoke and mirrors!
- Why don’t they allow smoke indoors? Because it needs to go outside and play!
- What does a cloud wear under its raincoat? Thunderwear! (Because it’s what happens before the smoke/mist!)
- I met a magician who could make smoke disappear… …But then it crept back, he said it was just a puff-er delay!
- What did the smoke say to the fire? “Hey, we make a great team!”
- Where do tornadoes learn to spin so fast? In smoke-nado school!
- Why was the smoke detective bad at his job? He always got distracted by red herrings!
- I tried to write a song about smoke… But it just blew away!
- How do you fix a broken jack-o-lantern’s smoke machine? You take it to the pumpkin patch!
- Why did the smoke monster get lost? Because he couldn’t see where he was going!
- What do you get if you cross a campfire and a playground? A s’more-y slide!
- What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert? I scream, you scream, we all scream for smoke-ies!
- Knock, Knock! Who’s There? Smoke Smoke who? Smoke up the barbecue, it’s time for dinner!
Smoke Jokes and Puns for Elders
- Smoke Signals (For Sophisticated Seniors):
- My doctor told me to avoid anything that causes smoke… Guess I’ll have to put my marriage on hold.
- You know you’re getting old when… “Up in smoke” refers to your memory, not your latest investment.
- I tried to have a serious conversation with my grandkids about vaping… It all went up in smoke.
- My retirement plan was once solid as a brick… Now it’s more like smoke and mirrors.
- The only time I see eye-to-eye with teenagers these days is… when we’re both looking at the price of cigarettes.
- I used to be a smoker, but I quit cold turkey… Now I just complain about the price of poultry.
- Don’t worry, I’m not smoking that funny stuff anymore. This is just my newest essential oil diffuser – gotta keep these old lungs going!
- My friend told me my new hairpiece was smoking hot… Turns out, I left the curling iron on.
- I finally figured out what’s meant by “smoke and mirrors”… It’s how politicians explain the economy these days.
- I’m writing a memoir about my life… It’s a real page-turner. Or at least it would be if my eyesight wasn’t so smoky.
- They say age is just a number… But judging by how much my grandkids complain about my cooking, mine must be a fire hazard.
- I used to chase after women like a house on fire… Now, I’m happy if I can just remember where I left my reading glasses.
- Retirement is great, but I do miss those smoke breaks at work… Mostly because it was the only time people pretended to care about my stories.
- Remember folks, life is like a good cigar… Enjoy it slowly, savor the flavor, and don’t inhale the ashes.
Smoke Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media
- Just saw a magician pull a rabbit out of a hat made of smoke… Turns out it was just a vape trick.
- What does a nosey pepper do? Gets jalapeño business! 🔥😂
- I tried to make a campfire using only smoke… I ended up with nothing but a hazy idea. 💭🔥
- My friend claims he can communicate with smoke signals. I told him that’s pretty impressive, considering he’s always so blunt. 💨
- (Insert edgy celebrity here) was just caught smoking behind the school! Sources say they’re trying to re-ignite their career. 🚬🤪
- Why did the smoke detector get a job at the BBQ restaurant? Because it was always the first to know when things were getting fired up! 🔥🥩
- What do you get when you combine a dragon and a weed dispensary owner? A real blazed entrepreneur. 😎🔥
- I’m starting a band called “Secondhand Serenade & the Smoke Signals.” We’ll only be accepting passive-aggressive requests. 🎶💨
- What’s a ghost’s favorite way to relax? They hit the sauna for a good spook and steam! 👻♨️
- Just bought a smoke detector camouflage cover. Now it can finally blend in… with the fire! 🔥😂 (Disclaimer: Please don’t actually do this.)
- My friend quit vaping. Now he vapor-misses it. 😔💨
- How do trees access social media? They log in! 🌳📱😂
Smoke Out! But Before You Go… 😂💨
Well, there you have it! We hope these smoke jokes and puns didn’t leave you feeling too hazy. If you’re craving more laughs that are anything but secondhand, be sure to explore the rest of our punny website. We’ve got jokes and puns on every topic under the sun – or at least the ones we can see through this cloud of laughter! 😉
