95+ Jokes & Puns: Hell-arious Quips From Down Under!
🔥 Hey there, pun-loving devils and jokesters! 😈 Get ready to laugh your way straight through the underworld with our scorching hot list of hell jokes! 😂 We’ve collected the best, most clever puns and funny quips about hell – humor so good, it’s almost sinful. 😉 Whether you’re a kid or just a kid at heart, these jokes are guaranteed to tickle your funny bone and leave you feeling anything but hellish! 🎉 Get ready for some devilishly good fun!
Top Hell Jokes – Best Picks
Why is it so hot in Hell? Because nobody uses Celsius!
What’s Satan’s favorite font? Arial Bold, but he dabbles in Times New Roman when he’s feeling helvetica.
I just got back from a tour of Hell… It was pretty nice, actually. They even had Wi-Fi, although I had to sign an infernal contract.
What’s the difference between a bad golfer and a bad driver in Hell? The bad golfer goes to Hell and tries to get out of the sand traps.
Did you hear about the demon who opened a coffee shop in Hell? Business is booming; it’s the hottest spot in town!
I tried to call Hell to get a reservation… But the phone line’s always busy. Guess it’s a real hotline.
What’s the official currency of Hell? Crypto, of course.
What’s the hottest new dating app in Hell? Tinderbox.
Why did the demon get a job at the DMV? He heard the paperwork was hellish.
What do you call a really bad stand-up comedian in Hell? Just another lost soul.
How do they make ice cream in Hell? With a devil’s food cake mixer, of course!
Why did the ghost turn down the job offer in Hell? He didn’t want to relocate.
How do you make a deal with a demon over the phone? You have to get hello operator to connect you.
What’s the one thing they don’t have in Hell? Room service! You want something, you gotta go down there yourself!
Clever Hell Puns – Top Picks
I went to a heavy metal concert in Hell… Turns out it was just pandemonium.
What’s the official currency of Hell? Cryptocurrency, they only accept Bitcoins down there.
Working in IT support is hell… The customers are constantly raising the temperature.
Heard about the guy who got kicked out of Hell? Said he was only there for the brimstone – didn’t inhale.
The Devil’s personal assistant quit… Now he’s looking for a new right-hand demon.
Satan’s new fitness program is all the rage… It’s called “Get ripped or get thrown in the Lake of Fire.”
Why did the demon cross the road? To get to the other side… of eternal damnation!
Just got back from a vacation to Hell… It was LIT!
Being a telemarketer is hell on Earth… Every day feels like an eternity.
Funny Hell One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Hell Jokes
I wanted to go on a diet in Hell, but the temptation is just too devilishly good.
Dating in your 40s is like trying to find a parking spot in Hell – it’s not impossible, but all the good ones are taken.
My attempt at baking a cake was a complete disaster. Even the devil wouldn’t touch it. Talk about a hell-no dessert!
I tried to call Hell to get a reservation, but the line was always busy. Guess they’re expecting a full house tonight!
Always thought I’d avoid going to Hell for my sins, but then I tasted Karen’s cooking.
My boss asked why I dress so casually on Mondays. I told him, “Look, it’s been a hell of a weekend, give me a break!”
“What’s the worst thing about being a demon?” “All the paperwork. It’s a bureaucratic hellhole down here!”
I’m opening a gym in Hell. It’s called “24/7 Torment & Fitness.”
Tried to explain to the devil that “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned” is just a saying… he didn’t seem convinced.
I told my therapist, “Every day feels like hell.” He said, “Well, you’re certainly dressed for the occasion.”
What do you call a demon with a fashion sense from the underworld? A hell-raiser!
They say all dogs go to heaven. Guess that’s why Cerberus is looking so stressed guarding the gates of hell.
My internet connection is so bad, I think I’m actually browsing the web in hell right now.
Heard the weather in Hell is surprisingly pleasant this time of year. Guess even eternal damnation has its perks.
Hell QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Hell
Q: What’s the official language of Hell? A: It’s all Greek to me!
Q: What’s the hottest new dance craze in Hell? A: The fire limbo! It’s really catching on.
Q: Why did the devil invest in a snowplow company? A: He heard Hell was expecting record lows.
Q: What’s the difference between a bad golfer and a resident of Hell? A: A bad golfer goes to Hell for eternity, but a resident of Hell has to stay forever.
Q: How do they make ice cream in Hell? A: With a devilishly slow churn.
Q: Why don’t they have mirrors in Hell? A: Because nobody wants to see their reflection and say “Well, this is my life now.”
Q: What’s served at the Hell’s Angels annual picnic? A: Hogs and prayers.
Q: Where do bad ghosts go for vacation? A: Hell-sinki!
Q: What do you get if you cross a demon with a bureaucrat? A: I don’t know, but I bet they have all the paperwork in Hell.
Q: Why is it so hot in Hell? A: Because they have a lot of burning questions.
Q: How do you make a devil smoothie? A: With blended souls and just a pinch of brimstone.
Q: Did you hear about the chef who went to Hell? A: Turns out, he was really good under pressure.
Q: What’s the most popular dating app in Hell? A: Tinder-neath It All.
Q: Where do demons learn to drive? A: On the highway to hell… it’s paved with good intentions, you know.
Dad Jokes About Hell: Pun-Filled Quips
Why did the demon get a job at the bank? He was great with hell-oans!
What’s the difference between a bad golfer and a demon in hell? One’s saying “hell” all the time, the other’s yelling “fore!”
My wife told me to go to hell—but then she gave me directions. Apparently, I have a really bad sense of directi-hell.
How do they make ice cream in hell? With an ice cream hellever. It’s always plugged in!
My friend said moving is a living hell. I disagree. I think it’s more of a packing and unpacking hell.
What do you call a demon who’s always losing things? Forget-hell!
Why did the devil try to start a delivery service? He heard there was a lot of business in hell-th foods.
What’s the hottest fashion brand in hell? It’s all the rage, they call it “Sizzle & Hellacious.”
Heard about the demon who opened a gym? He’s really working on his six-pack…of hellfire, that is.
What do you call a really bad hair day in the underworld? A total hell-raiser.
Tried to make reservations at that fancy new restaurant in hell… Turns out they’re booked solid for all of eterni-hell!
Did you hear about the demon who got kicked out of band practice? He kept playing “Highway to Hell” on repeat.
Hell Jokes and Puns for Kids
What do you call a handstand competition in a really hot place? A heat-wave hell-raising contest!
What’s a snail’s least favorite vegetable? Celery! It’s much too slow for their liking.
What do you call a chilly ghost? A cold spirit!
My dad told me to do my homework or I’d be in big trouble. Then he said, “Don’t you look at me like that.” I told him I wasn’t looking at him, I was looking at all the trouble I was about to get into!
I used to have an imaginary friend who was a chef. Turns out he was just making things up!
What do you get if you cross a snake and a pie? A pie-thon, but don’t try to eat it!
What do you get if you cross a pig and a cactus? I don’t know, but I wouldn’t want to sit on it!
Why don’t they let dinosaurs near computers? They’re afraid they’ll byte! Bonus Groaner:
Hell Jokes and Puns for Elders
“You know you’re getting old when ‘raising hell’ involves a misplaced hearing aid.”
I called Dante for advice on navigating the afterlife. He put me on hold and said, “You’re going to want to hold for this.”
Retirement is like the story of Dante’s “Inferno” – just one circle after another, and it’s always crowded!
My doctor told me I needed to cut back on red meat, rich foods, and desserts. I said, “So basically, you’re saying to eat like I’m going to hell anyway?”
My grandkids keep asking me what it was like to grow up without the internet. It was hell, absolute hell… because we had dial-up!
I finally organized all my old photo albums. Turns out I’ve lived through several hellscapes… and that was just the ’70s.
My friend asked, “What’s the hottest new club in town?” I said, “From what I hear, it’s six feet under.”
The line for coffee this morning was hellish. I should have known better than to go to Starbucks during a heatwave.
When I die, I want to go peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming like the passengers in his car!
You know you’re old when you’ve been married so long, you know exactly which circle of hell you’re going to… and you’ve already picked out the furniture!
My knees? Oh, they’re fine… except when it’s cold, damp, or I try to move. So, basically, they’re a forecast for the afterlife.
The devil called. He wants his timeshare back.
I’m at that age where “happy hour” is a nap.
You know you’re getting up there when your idea of nightlife involves choosing between decaf and chamomile tea.
Hell Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media
I tried to call Hell to ask about their cancellation policy… Turns out they’re all booked up.
Just saw Satan at the grocery store. Didn’t even say “Hail,” just kept yelling “HELL-o, Mango!” at the fruit. Guess the Devil wears Prada AND likes his produce fresh.
Just saw a demon on a unicycle juggling chainsaws. Texted my friend, “Wanna grab a beer?” He said, “Nah, sounds like a whole hell of a show already.”
Relationship status: Dating Satan. It’s complicated, like trying to make ice cubes in Hell… pretty damn heated.
Tried meditation to find my inner peace. Accidentally angered a demon. Guess you could say my chakras are giving off some real bad vibes.
Just got back from a vacation to Hell. It was alright, but the Wi-Fi was absolute torture.
Me trying to flirt: Smooth as sandpaper. Attractive as a demon’s toenail. Basically, I’m going to die alone in a fiery pit of eternal damnation. So, how’s your day going?
You know you’re having a bad day when… Your coffee’s colder than Satan’s heart AND your toast is burnt.
Boss: “You’re fired! Get out!” Me: “Can’t argue with that logic, already halfway to Hell anyway.” grabs stapler and a donut on the way out
My bank account is so empty right now… Satan tried to pay me in exposure.
What did the demon say to the overcooked steak? “Well done!” He said, with a devilishly charming grin.
I went to a Halloween party dressed as exhaustion. The host just looked at me and said, “You came as ‘everyday life’?” … Yeah, pretty much sums up this hellish journey we call existence.
Hell Yeah, We’re Done! (Don’t Come Knocking) 😈
Well, there you have it, enough hell-arious jokes to raise the temperature in the underworld! If you’re still craving more devilishly funny puns and jokes, don’t go to hell – just head over to our website for endless pun-ishment.
