95+ Jokes & Puns: Hell-arious Quips From Down Under!
🔥 Hey there, pun-loving devils and jokesters! 😈 Get ready to laugh your way straight through the underworld with our scorching hot list of hell jokes! 😂 We’ve collected the best, most clever puns and funny quips about hell – humor so good, it’s almost sinful. 😉 Whether you’re a kid or just a kid at heart, these jokes are guaranteed to tickle your funny bone and leave you feeling anything but hellish! 🎉 Get ready for some devilishly good fun!
Top Hell Jokes – Best Picks
- Why is it so hot in Hell? Because nobody uses Celsius!
- What’s Satan’s favorite font? Arial Bold, but he dabbles in Times New Roman when he’s feeling helvetica.
- I just got back from a tour of Hell… It was pretty nice, actually. They even had Wi-Fi, although I had to sign an infernal contract.
- What’s the difference between a bad golfer and a bad driver in Hell? The bad golfer goes to Hell and tries to get out of the sand traps.
- Did you hear about the demon who opened a coffee shop in Hell? Business is booming; it’s the hottest spot in town!
- I tried to call Hell to get a reservation… But the phone line’s always busy. Guess it’s a real hotline.
- What’s the official currency of Hell? Crypto, of course.
- What’s the hottest new dating app in Hell? Tinderbox.
- Why did the demon get a job at the DMV? He heard the paperwork was hellish.
- What do you call a really bad stand-up comedian in Hell? Just another lost soul.
- How do they make ice cream in Hell? With a devil’s food cake mixer, of course!
- Why did the ghost turn down the job offer in Hell? He didn’t want to relocate.
- You know you’re in Hell when… The elevator music is Justin Bieber on repeat.
- How do you make a deal with a demon over the phone? You have to get hello operator to connect you.
- What’s the one thing they don’t have in Hell? Room service! You want something, you gotta go down there yourself!
Clever Hell Puns – Top Picks
- I went to a heavy metal concert in Hell… Turns out it was just pandemonium.
- What’s the official currency of Hell? Cryptocurrency, they only accept Bitcoins down there.
- Working in IT support is hell… The customers are constantly raising the temperature.
- Heard about the guy who got kicked out of Hell? Said he was only there for the brimstone – didn’t inhale.
- The Devil’s personal assistant quit… Now he’s looking for a new right-hand demon.
- Satan’s new fitness program is all the rage… It’s called “Get ripped or get thrown in the Lake of Fire.”
- Heard about the bakery in Hell? They’re always running a sale on deviled eggs.
- Why did the demon cross the road? To get to the other side… of eternal damnation!
- My friend told me he met the Devil at a crossroads… I told him, “Don’t make a deal, it’s highway robbery!”
- Just got back from a vacation to Hell… It was LIT!
- Being a telemarketer is hell on Earth… Every day feels like an eternity.
Funny Hell One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Hell Jokes
- I wanted to go on a diet in Hell, but the temptation is just too devilishly good.
- Dating in your 40s is like trying to find a parking spot in Hell – it’s not impossible, but all the good ones are taken.
- My attempt at baking a cake was a complete disaster. Even the devil wouldn’t touch it. Talk about a hell-no dessert!
- What’s the hottest month in Hell? It’s a tie between July and August… they have the devil’s own heatwave!
- I tried to call Hell to get a reservation, but the line was always busy. Guess they’re expecting a full house tonight!
- Always thought I’d avoid going to Hell for my sins, but then I tasted Karen’s cooking.
- My boss asked why I dress so casually on Mondays. I told him, “Look, it’s been a hell of a weekend, give me a break!”
- “What’s the worst thing about being a demon?” “All the paperwork. It’s a bureaucratic hellhole down here!”
- I’m opening a gym in Hell. It’s called “24/7 Torment & Fitness.”
- Tried to explain to the devil that “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned” is just a saying… he didn’t seem convinced.
- I told my therapist, “Every day feels like hell.” He said, “Well, you’re certainly dressed for the occasion.”
- What do you call a demon with a fashion sense from the underworld? A hell-raiser!
- They say all dogs go to heaven. Guess that’s why Cerberus is looking so stressed guarding the gates of hell.
- My internet connection is so bad, I think I’m actually browsing the web in hell right now.
- Heard the weather in Hell is surprisingly pleasant this time of year. Guess even eternal damnation has its perks.
Hell QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Hell
- Q: What’s the official language of Hell? A: It’s all Greek to me!
- Q: What’s the hottest new dance craze in Hell? A: The fire limbo! It’s really catching on.
- Q: Why did the devil invest in a snowplow company? A: He heard Hell was expecting record lows.
- Q: What’s the difference between a bad golfer and a resident of Hell? A: A bad golfer goes to Hell for eternity, but a resident of Hell has to stay forever.
- Q: How do they make ice cream in Hell? A: With a devilishly slow churn.
- Q: Why don’t they have mirrors in Hell? A: Because nobody wants to see their reflection and say “Well, this is my life now.”
- Q: What’s served at the Hell’s Angels annual picnic? A: Hogs and prayers.
- Q: Where do bad ghosts go for vacation? A: Hell-sinki!
- Q: What do you get if you cross a demon with a bureaucrat? A: I don’t know, but I bet they have all the paperwork in Hell.
- Q: Why is it so hot in Hell? A: Because they have a lot of burning questions.
- Q: How do you make a devil smoothie? A: With blended souls and just a pinch of brimstone.
- Q: Did you hear about the chef who went to Hell? A: Turns out, he was really good under pressure.
- Q: What’s the most popular dating app in Hell? A: Tinder-neath It All.
- Q: Where do demons learn to drive? A: On the highway to hell… it’s paved with good intentions, you know.
Dad Jokes About Hell: Pun-Filled Quips
- Why did the demon get a job at the bank? He was great with hell-oans!
- What’s the difference between a bad golfer and a demon in hell? One’s saying “hell” all the time, the other’s yelling “fore!”
- My wife told me to go to hell—but then she gave me directions. Apparently, I have a really bad sense of directi-hell.
- What do you call a really spicy bowl of soup in the underworld? Hell-lapeño soup, of course!
- How do they make ice cream in hell? With an ice cream hellever. It’s always plugged in!
- My friend said moving is a living hell. I disagree. I think it’s more of a packing and unpacking hell.
- What do you call a demon who’s always losing things? Forget-hell!
- Why did the devil try to start a delivery service? He heard there was a lot of business in hell-th foods.
- What’s the hottest fashion brand in hell? It’s all the rage, they call it “Sizzle & Hellacious.”
- Heard about the demon who opened a gym? He’s really working on his six-pack…of hellfire, that is.
- What do you call a really bad hair day in the underworld? A total hell-raiser.
- Tried to make reservations at that fancy new restaurant in hell… Turns out they’re booked solid for all of eterni-hell!
- Did you hear about the demon who got kicked out of band practice? He kept playing “Highway to Hell” on repeat.
Hell Jokes and Puns for Kids
- What do you call a handstand competition in a really hot place? A heat-wave hell-raising contest!
- What’s a snail’s least favorite vegetable? Celery! It’s much too slow for their liking.
- Why is being a dragon so tiring? Because they work their tail off, and it’s always a fire hazard!
- What do you call a chilly ghost? A cold spirit!
- My dad told me to do my homework or I’d be in big trouble. Then he said, “Don’t you look at me like that.” I told him I wasn’t looking at him, I was looking at all the trouble I was about to get into!
- I used to have an imaginary friend who was a chef. Turns out he was just making things up!
- What do you get if you cross a snake and a pie? A pie-thon, but don’t try to eat it!
- What do you get if you cross a pig and a cactus? I don’t know, but I wouldn’t want to sit on it!
- Why don’t they let dinosaurs near computers? They’re afraid they’ll byte! Bonus Groaner:
Hell Jokes and Puns for Elders
- “You know you’re getting old when ‘raising hell’ involves a misplaced hearing aid.”
- I called Dante for advice on navigating the afterlife. He put me on hold and said, “You’re going to want to hold for this.”
- Retirement is like the story of Dante’s “Inferno” – just one circle after another, and it’s always crowded!
- My doctor told me I needed to cut back on red meat, rich foods, and desserts. I said, “So basically, you’re saying to eat like I’m going to hell anyway?”
- My grandkids keep asking me what it was like to grow up without the internet. It was hell, absolute hell… because we had dial-up!
- I finally organized all my old photo albums. Turns out I’ve lived through several hellscapes… and that was just the ’70s.
- My friend asked, “What’s the hottest new club in town?” I said, “From what I hear, it’s six feet under.”
- The line for coffee this morning was hellish. I should have known better than to go to Starbucks during a heatwave.
- When I die, I want to go peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming like the passengers in his car!
- You know you’re old when you’ve been married so long, you know exactly which circle of hell you’re going to… and you’ve already picked out the furniture!
- My knees? Oh, they’re fine… except when it’s cold, damp, or I try to move. So, basically, they’re a forecast for the afterlife.
- The devil called. He wants his timeshare back.
- Someone complimented my driving today. They left a note on my windshield that said, “Parking like this takes balls.” I’m not sure how to feel about being compared to Satan.
- I’m at that age where “happy hour” is a nap.
- You know you’re getting up there when your idea of nightlife involves choosing between decaf and chamomile tea.
Hell Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media
- I tried to call Hell to ask about their cancellation policy… Turns out they’re all booked up.
- Just saw Satan at the grocery store. Didn’t even say “Hail,” just kept yelling “HELL-o, Mango!” at the fruit. Guess the Devil wears Prada AND likes his produce fresh.
- Just saw a demon on a unicycle juggling chainsaws. Texted my friend, “Wanna grab a beer?” He said, “Nah, sounds like a whole hell of a show already.”
- Relationship status: Dating Satan. It’s complicated, like trying to make ice cubes in Hell… pretty damn heated.
- Tried meditation to find my inner peace. Accidentally angered a demon. Guess you could say my chakras are giving off some real bad vibes.
- Just got back from a vacation to Hell. It was alright, but the Wi-Fi was absolute torture.
- Me trying to flirt: Smooth as sandpaper. Attractive as a demon’s toenail. Basically, I’m going to die alone in a fiery pit of eternal damnation. So, how’s your day going?
- You know you’re having a bad day when… Your coffee’s colder than Satan’s heart AND your toast is burnt.
- Boss: “You’re fired! Get out!” Me: “Can’t argue with that logic, already halfway to Hell anyway.” grabs stapler and a donut on the way out
- My bank account is so empty right now… Satan tried to pay me in exposure.
- What did the demon say to the overcooked steak? “Well done!” He said, with a devilishly charming grin.
- I went to a Halloween party dressed as exhaustion. The host just looked at me and said, “You came as ‘everyday life’?” … Yeah, pretty much sums up this hellish journey we call existence.
Hell Yeah, We’re Done! (Don’t Come Knocking) 😈
Well, there you have it, enough hell-arious jokes to raise the temperature in the underworld! If you’re still craving more devilishly funny puns and jokes, don’t go to hell – just head over to our website for endless pun-ishment.
