135+ Peanut-errific Puns & Jokes: Shell We Laugh?

ByRabia Noreen & Team

Get ready to chuckle because we’re about to crack open the 🥜 best peanut puns and jokes this side of the Mississippi (and the other side too)! 😂 This list of clever and funny jokes about peanuts, peanut butter, and even the classic PB&J is perfect for kids and adults who love a little nutty humor. Get ready to laugh, groan, and maybe even say “aww” – it’s positively chock-full of peanutty fun! 😄

Top ‘Peanut Jokes’ – Best Picks

  1. Why did the peanut butter blush? Because it saw the jelly spread!
  2. What do you call a peanut who takes its time? A slow-roasted comedian!
  3. You know, I met a peanut today who was a real downer. He was totally salty.
  4. Did you hear about the peanut who went to space? He was totally out of this shell!
  5. What’s a peanut’s favorite game to play with elephants? Trunk or treat!
  6. What does a peanut wear when it rains? A cashewnut!
  7. Why don’t peanuts like telling each other secrets? Because the butter always spreads it around!
  8. I tried to make a sculpture out of peanut butter once. But it was just too nutty of an idea.
  9. What did the peanut say to his crush on Valentine’s Day? “We’re meant to be-an together!”
  10. I used to work at a peanut butter factory… but I got canned for loafing around.
  11. Why don’t peanuts apply for bank loans? They have too many insecurities.
  12. What’s a peanut’s favorite genre of music? Shell-shock rock!
  13. How do you win a peanut’s heart? Shell out some compliments!
  14. My friend said his therapist told him to talk to his peanuts… I think he needs a new therapist, or maybe just some peanut butter.
  15. What do you call a peanut that’s always in trouble? A bad nut!
  16. What did the peanut say to the ghost? “Cashew later!”
  17. Why did the peanut go on a diet? To become a slimmJim!
  18. What’s a peanut’s favorite dance move? The almond shuffle!
Ultimate list and collection of Best Peanut Jokes and Puns, One-liners, Dad Jokes, Funny Quotes, and Captions - Discover engaging and humorous content at PunnyHub.com

Clever ‘Peanut Puns’ – Best Picks

  1. I’m allergic to peanuts. It’s just a casual nut allergy, nothing to go pea-nicking about.
  2. What do you get when you cross a peanut with an elephant? Peanuts… elephants are really bad at hiding.
  3. Did you hear about the peanut who went to space? He was nuttin’ but supportive of his astronaut friends.
  4. My therapist told me to embrace my mistakes. I guess I’ll just peanut butter side down.
  5. Feeling salty? Just remember, you’re like a peanut: small, full of protein, and destined for greatness… or at least a delicious snack.
  6. What’s a peanut’s favorite genre of music? Anything but heavy metal…they can’t stand the shell shock!
  7. My friend tried to make peanut butter with expired peanuts. I guess you could say it was a bad batch of nutstalgia.
  8. You know, peanuts are actually legumes. Which makes me wonder… do they hold secret legume meetings we don’t know about?
  9. A peanut walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, “Hey, we have a drink named after you!” The peanut looks surprised and says, “You have a drink called Steve?”
  10. Why did the peanut get detention? For shell-ing out answers during the test!
  11. You can tell a lot about a person by how they eat their peanut butter and jelly sandwich. It’s a true testament to their character… or at least their condiment-to-bread ratio preferences.
  12. Life is like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Sometimes it’s messy, sometimes it’s sticky, but it’s always better with a friend to share it with.
  13. I went to a peanut-themed art exhibition. It was nuts!
  14. Why did the peanut butter blush? Because it saw the jelly!
  15. I tried to explain to my dog that peanuts grow underground. He looked at me like I was nuts.
  16. What do you call a peanut with a gambling problem? A degenerate legume!
  17. My friend said he wanted a pet that was small, low-maintenance, and wouldn’t shed. So, I got him a peanut. He still hasn’t forgiven me.
  18. I’m starting a peanut-based band called “The Salty Nuts.” Our first single is called “Shell Shocked.”
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Funny ‘Peanut One-Liner Jokes’ – Short & Funny Peanut Jokes

  1. I tried to make peanut butter without peanuts…it was just nuts.
  2. Did you hear about the peanut who joined the circus? He was the star of the shell game!
  3. I’m allergic to peanuts, but just a tiny bit makes me break out in hives.
  4. What did the peanut say to his crush on Valentine’s Day? I’m nuts about you!
  5. My therapist told me to embrace my mistakes. Guess I’ll go hug a peanut.
  6. You know, peanuts are technically legumes, not nuts. Talk about an identity crisis!
  7. What do you get when a dinosaur steps on a peanut? A PB& extinct!
  8. My friend tried to tell me peanuts grow on trees. I said, “That’s nuts!”
  9. I tried to pay for my groceries with peanuts. The cashier looked at me like I was salty.
  10. You can’t spell “peanut butter” without “nut”. It’s literally in the name!
  11. I used to be addicted to peanut butter. I’m trying to be more nutty about it now.
  12. What does a peanut wear to a party? A monocle! He’s got to be looking sharp.
  13. I told my friend a peanut pun. He was like, “Shell we move on?”
  14. I saw a sign that said “Peanut Free Zone”. I guess they really cracked down on allergens.
  15. Peanuts are like the comedians of the food world. They’re always cracking me up!
  16. I met a peanut at the gym today. He was lifting shells!
  17. What do you call a peanut with a crown? A Prince-ton of peanut butter!
  18. If you’re ever feeling down, just remember: Even peanuts have their ups and downs.
  19. Why did the peanut go to the doctor? He was feeling kinda salty.
  20. Life is like a peanut. You never know what you’re gonna get until you crack it open!

Peanut QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Peanut

  1. Q: Why did the peanut butter blush? A: Because it saw the jelly rollin’ in!
  2. Q: What did the peanut say to his date when things got awkward? A: “Well, this is nuts!”
  3. Q: Why don’t peanuts apply to college? A: They’re already salted!
  4. Q: How can you tell if a peanut is a true romantic? A: It always goes out with its butter half!
  5. Q: What’s a peanut’s favorite genre of music? A: Anything but heavy metal… they’re strictly shell-shocked by it!
  6. Q: What did the peanut say to the elephant? A: “Nothing! Peanuts can’t talk!”
  7. Q: What do you call a peanut that just won the lottery? A: Cashew!
  8. Q: Where do peanuts dance? A: At a shell-ebration!
  9. Q: What’s a peanut butter and jelly sandwich’s favorite dance move? A: The jitter-bug!
  10. Q: Why did the peanut get sent to the principal’s office? A: For shell-ing answers during the test!
  11. Q: What do you call a peanut with a crown? A: A Prince of Cashew-nia!
  12. Q: Why don’t peanuts like telling secrets in a cornfield? A: Too many ears!
  13. Q: What’s a peanut’s favorite type of car? A: A Volks-wagen! Get it? Shell-kswagen!
  14. Q: What happens when two peanuts fall in love? A: They elope and become peanut butter and jelly!
  15. Q: Why did the peanut cross the road? A: To prove to the cashew it wasn’t chicken!
  16. Q: How do you organize a peanut party? A: You shell-ebrate it!
  17. Q: What did the peanut say when it was thrown into the pool? A: “Oh shell, I’m drowning!”
  18. Q: Why are peanuts so good at poker? A: They always keep a straight face… even when they’re bluffing!
  19. Q: What’s a peanut’s least favorite subject in school? A: Geography… because they always get lost in the atlas!
  20. Q: What’s a peanut’s favorite movie? A: The Nutty Professor!
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Dad Jokes About Peanut: Pun-Filled Quips

  1. I told my son his peanut butter and jelly sandwich was nuts… He said, “I know, Dad, that’s why I like it!”
  2. You know what the peanut said to the elephant? “Nothing! Peanuts can’t talk!”
  3. What do you get if you cross a peanut and a street racer? A nut that’s fast-in-the-shell!
  4. Why don’t peanuts ever tell secrets? Because they’re always in shell!
  5. What did the peanut say to the cashew? “We’re like two nuts in a shell… even though I’m technically a legume!”
  6. Why did the peanut get sent to the principal’s office? He was caught shell-ing answers on the test!
  7. I tried to make peanut butter soup… It was souper nutty!
  8. Why did the peanut butter blush? Because it saw the jelly!
  9. What do you call a peanut who’s a lawyer? A peanut-entiary system!
  10. My wife told me to take the spider webs down or decorate them… I chose the latter. Now I have peanut butter and jelly cobwebs.
  11. I saw a sign that said, “Peanut Butter: $3.99” and thought, “That’s nuts!”
  12. What do you call it when a peanut does something really well? A Nut-ural talent!
  13. You know what the opposite of peanut butter is? Lie-chee jam!
  14. What does a peanut wear when it rains? A rain-shell!
  15. I wanted to organize a peanut-themed amusement park… but I realized it was a slippery slope.
  16. Why did the peanut cross the road? He was stuck in a chicken’s throat!
  17. What’s a peanut’s favorite musical genre? Shell-shocked Rock!
  18. I tried to make peanut butter and jelly sushi… It was a sticky situation.

Peanut Jokes and Puns for Kids

  1. What does a peanut say when it’s happy? 🥜 😄 …I’m nuttin’ but smiles!
  2. Why did the peanut butter blush? 🥜 😳 …Because it saw the jelly!
  3. What’s a peanut’s favorite game to play with an elephant? 🥜 🐘 …Peanut-butter and elephant hide-and-seek!
  4. Where do peanuts go on vacation? 🥜 🏖️ …To Pea-lifornia!
  5. What do you get if you cross a peanut and a chicken? 🥜 🐔 …A peanut that clucks “Cluck-a-doodle-doo-nut!”
  6. What does a peanut wear to bed? 🥜 😴 …Its jam-jams!
  7. Why did the peanut get sent to the principal’s office? 🥜 🏫 …For shell-ing secrets in class!
  8. What did the peanut say to the cashew? 🥜 …We’re nuttin’ but friends!
  9. What do you call a peanut that’s a little bit nutty? 🥜 🤪 …A pea-brain!
  10. How do you make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich? 🥜 …With peanut-butter-ly good bread!
  11. What did the peanut say to the bully? 🥜 💪 …”Hey! Quit pushin’ my buttons!”
  12. Why did the peanut get a job at the bank? 🥜 🏦 …It was really good with money… or should I say, “moneynuts?”
  13. What’s a peanut’s favorite kind of music? 🥜 🎶 …Anything but heavy metal! (Get it? Because they’re light…)
  14. What’s a peanut’s favorite letter? 🥜 🔤 …P! (Because it’s in everything!)
  15. Why did the peanut cross the road? 🥜🚶 …To prove he wasn’t chicken!
  16. What did the almond say to the peanut at the party? …”Hey, wanna go dance? I heard they’re playing our song!” 🥜 🎉
  17. Why are peanuts so strong? 🥜 💪 …Because they’re full of protein-ut!
  18. What do you get if you cross a peanut and a firework? 🥜🎆 …A shell-ebration!
  19. What’s a peanut’s favorite day of the week? 🥜📅 …Satur-yay! (Because they get to spend the whole day with their shell-mates!)

Peanut Jokes and Puns for Adults

  1. Why did the peanut get kicked out of the bar? Because he was salted!
  2. You know what’s the worst thing about being allergic to peanuts? Having to deal with all the nutty conspiracy theories.
  3. My therapist told me to embrace my mistakes. I guess I’ll have another handful of these peanut butter pretzels then.
  4. I tried to explain to my date that I was a peanut butter enthusiast, not a hoarder. They didn’t buy it, especially after seeing my jar collection.
  5. What’s a peanut’s favorite genre of music? Anything but country, they’re city slickers at heart.
  6. What do you call a peanut with a gambling problem? A shell shocked loser.
  7. Heard about the peanut who went to prison? Turns out, he was a real bad seed.
  8. Why are peanuts always invited to parties? Because they’re naturally fun-sized!
  9. My therapist suggested I try mindfulness to manage my peanut butter cravings. Now I just sit and stare at the jar with intense focus.
  10. I told my friend I was thinking of starting a peanut butter and pickle sandwich food truck. He said, “That’s a jarring concept.”
  11. Dating apps are tough. One minute you think you’ve found someone who’s your butter half, the next they’re ghosting you faster than a peanut butter jar at a picnic.
  12. I saw a sign that said “Support your local peanut farmers.” So I bought a beer. You know, farmers market and all.
  13. What’s the peanut’s favorite type of clothing? A cashmere sweater, they have expensive taste.
  14. Why don’t peanuts tell secrets in a cornfield? Because the corn has ears, and the potatoes have eyes!
  15. My doctor told me to eat more nuts for my health. So I got a job as a squirrel’s assistant. Gotta start somewhere.
  16. I went on a date with a peanut farmer last night. It was nuts. I mean, we just clicked.
  17. Why are peanuts so good at poker? Because they always keep a few aces up their shells.
  18. I tried to make peanut butter from scratch once. Let’s just say I have a newfound appreciation for factory workers and their lack of carpal tunnel.
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Peanut Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Other Social Media

  1. I tried to make peanut butter from scratch once. It was nuts!
  2. You know what’s weird? Peanut butter jars are never half empty, they’re half full of potential! 🥜💪
  3. What does a peanut say when it’s bragging? You butter believe it! 😎
  4. Why did the peanut get sent to the principal’s office? For shell-ing out bad advice! 🥜😈
  5. I’m starting a peanut butter support group. We meet weekly, to spoon and share our feelings. 🥺🥄
  6. You could say I’m addicted to peanut butter… But I’m not afraid to go cold turkey. 🦃🥶
  7. What’s a peanut’s favorite music? Anything with a good beat you can dance to! 🥜💃🕺
  8. My therapist told me to embrace my mistakes… So I’m going all-in on this peanut butter and pickle sandwich. 🥪🤨
  9. Just saw a peanut walking down the street in a leather jacket. Pretty sure it was a salted caramel in disguise. 😎🥜
  10. My friend said, “Let’s get this bread!” I said, “Hold up, gotta grab the peanut butter first! Teamwork makes the dream work.” 🤝🍞🥜
  11. What’s a peanut’s favorite game show? Price is Shell-Right! 🥜🤑
  12. You know you’ve got it bad when… you start dipping your french fries in peanut butter. Don’t judge me! 🍟🥜🤫
  13. What’s a peanut’s favorite kind of car? A Shell-by! 🥜🏎️
  14. My friend said his New Year’s resolution was to give up peanut butter. I said, “Don’t be so hard on yourself, that’s nuts!” 🤪
  15. Why did the peanut cross the playground? To get to the other slide! 🥜🛝
  16. Went to a peanut butter tasting today. It was pretty intense, things got salty. 🧂😳
  17. My love for peanut butter is like a runaway train… Completely out of control and headed straight for the pantry! 🚂🥜🏃‍♂️
  18. I told my friend I only eat organic peanut butter. He said, “Yeah, well I only date natural peanuts.” 🤨🥜😂
  19. What’s a peanut’s favorite movie? The Nutty Professor! 🥜👨‍🔬🎬

That’s All Folks! Go Nuts & Spread the Laughter!

We’ve reached the bottom of the peanut butter jar, folks! But don’t go nuts just yet. If you’re still craving more peanutty puns and jokes, shell-abrate good times by exploring the rest of our punny website. We’ve got jokes in every flavor, so you’re sure to find something you’ll go nuts for!

Rabia Noreen & Team

Rabia Noreen: The Punnovator

Hi, I'm Rabia, the lead punster behind PunnyHub.com, alongside my incredible team. With a background in Comparative Literature, I specialize in turning phrases and crafting chuckles. My team and I are committed to delivering humor that not only entertains but enlightens. Every post we share is designed to sprinkle your day with laughter and a dash of wit. Find your Best Puns & Jokes.

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