97+ Greeting Puns & Jokes To Say “Hello” With Humor
👋 Hey there, fellow joke aficionados! 😂 Get ready to laugh your socks off with the best greeting jokes and puns around! 🎉 Whether you’re a master of humor or just a kid looking for some giggles, we’ve got a list of clever and funny jokes that are perfect for kids and adults alike. So, buckle up and prepare for a wild ride of hilarious greetings! 🤣
Top Greeting Jokes – Best Picks
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything! (Get it? Like saying “greetings”!)
- I met a genie who granted me a pun-powered greeting. Now I say “How do you dune?” to everyone in the desert.
- Heard about the greeting card writer who got fired? He apparently couldn’t cut it.
- What do you call a greeting from a nervous kangaroo? A “how-are-you-hoping” this is going?
- I used to greet everyone with a high five. Then I met a pirate and now it’s a high four.
- My friend told me he was starting a business making greeting cards for claustrophobic people. I said, “Good luck with that venture!”
- Someone keeps sending me blank greeting cards. I think they must have my address, but not my name.
- What does a vegan vampire say as a greeting? “Lettuce be friends!”
- I once got fired from a greeting card company for lacking creativity. I guess you could say I didn’t make the cut.
- What do you get if you cross a greeting card with a boomerang? Your message gets across, eventually.
- You know, money talks… but all mine ever says is “goodbye.”
Clever Greeting Puns – Best Picks
- Heard you were feeling under the weather. What’s up, rain-deer? (Playing on “reindeer” and referencing a greeting)
- I haven’t seen you in a while! Have you been up to any scone-agans? (Combining “shenanigans” with “scones” in a greeting)
- Yo, what’s croissant? Anything new since we last spoke? (Using a croissant pun in a casual greeting)
- Feeling out of this world today? Me too. Comet me bro! (Combining a space pun with a slang greeting)
- Hey friend, haven’t seen you in a while! What’s shaking, bacon? (Combining a breakfast pun with a familiar greeting)
- Haven’t seen you since we were knee-high to a grasshopper! What’s the buzz? (Using a figurative expression and insect pun in a greeting)
- What’s crackalackin’, my friend? Ready to get this show on the road? ( Combining slang and rhyming within a greeting)
- Well, this is a nice surprise! Donut mind if I do say so myself! (Combining a donut pun with a self-congratulatory tone in a greeting)
Funny Greeting One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Greeting Jokes
- I tried to come up with a pun about greetings, but I just couldn’t think of a good one. Guess you could say my mind’s a blank card.
- Did you hear about the greeting card writer who got fired? He apparently couldn’t seal the deal.
- “Hey, how’s it going?” “Terrible, I think I’m coming down with something.” “Well, at least you’re good at following instructions!”
- Met my online friend for the first time today. Turns out, our greeting was a bit awkward…he went for a fist bump and I went in for a hug. We both missed.
- What do you call a greeting from a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato wave.
- My friend’s a mime. He can tell you you’re looking great without saying a single greeting.
- Someone complimented my Halloween costume last night. They said “Now that’s a scary greeting!” I was dressed as a comma splice.
- Just got a job writing greetings for birthday candles. I’m really feeling the heat.
- Why don’t they teach greetings in school anymore? Seems like a missed opportunity if you ask me.
- “Hey! Haven’t seen you in a while!” “Yeah, sorry I haven’t been around much. Life’s been…well, you know, life-ing.”
- What did the shy computer say as a greeting? “01100100 01101001!” (That’s “Hi” in binary code!)
- A friend told me he was starting a new job writing get-well greetings. I told him “Well, I hope you get better soon!”
- My dog’s so well-trained, he greets everyone with a paw-sitive attitude.
Greeting QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Greeting
- Q: Why did the greeting card get lost in the mail? A: It took the scenic route-ing!
- Q: What do you call a greeting card from a vampire? A: A “fang-tastic” surprise!
- Q: What’s a pirate’s least favorite type of greeting card? A: A “fare-well” card!
- Q: What did the greeting card say to the stamp? A: “Stick with me, and we’ll go places!”
- Q: Why was the greeting card so emotional? A: It wore its heart on its sleeve… literally!
- Q: What’s a robot’s favorite type of greeting? A: A high-five!
- Q: What did the shy greeting card say to the envelope? A: “I’m feeling a little under the weather… seal my fate?”
- Q: Why did the birthday greeting get thrown in jail? A: It was charged with a “gift”-wrapping conspiracy!
- Q: What do you call a sarcastic greeting card? A: A “well, this is awkward” card!
- Q: What did the motivational greeting card say to the sad friend? A: “Don’t worry, be happy… or at least pretend to be for the Instagram photo!”
- Q: How do trees greet each other? A: With a round of “applauds!”
- Q: Why did the hipster refuse to send a greeting card? A: He thought it was too mainstream.
- Q: What does a yoga instructor say in a greeting card? A: “Namaste all year long!”
- Q: Why was the computer bad at writing greetings? A: Its efforts were always too “Ctrl+C, Ctrl+V!”
Dad Jokes About Greeting: Pun-Filled Quips
- Why did the dad tell his son to avoid greeting people in the desert? Because there’s a shortage of hellos!
- What do you call a greeting from a flock of sheep? A baaa-d pun!
- What did the ocean say to the beach when it waved? Nothing, it just waved back!
- Did you hear about the greeting card writer who quit her job? She said it lacked creativity…and envelopes.
- Why shouldn’t you start a conversation with pi? It’ll just go on forever!
- I told my wife she was addicted to greeting cards… She just sent me to get another stamp.
- Why don’t they play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs! (It’s a greeting, get it?)
- What does an Italian ghost always say when greeting someone? Ciao down!
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field! (And good at greetings, probably.)
- Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere! (Especially when you try to greet someone.)
- My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it. So I took it to the movies. We had a great time! (Even the spider waved hello!)
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything! (Even greetings, I bet.)
Greeting Jokes and Puns for Kids
- Why didn’t the birthday card get along with the greeting card? Because they had too many differences of envelope-inion!
- What did the stamp say to the greeting card? Stick with me, we’re going places!
- Why did the greeting card get sent to the principal’s office? It had terrible punctuation and couldn’t comma sense!
- What’s a cat’s favorite way to send a greeting? By meow-il!
- Knock knock! Who’s there? Lettuce! Lettuce who? Lettuce in! It’s cold out here, and I need to send a greeting card!
- Why was the greeting card so tired? It had been “write-ing” all day!
- What do you call a greeting from a bear? A bear hug!
- Why did the snowman send a greeting card to the sun? Just to say “Hey there, from your frosty friend!”
- How do robots send greetings? They send a “beep-boop” and a wave!
- What’s a pirate’s favorite way to start a greeting? Ahoy there, matey!
- Why did the computer send a greeting card? To say “Hello world!”
- What did the tree say to the wind in its greeting? “Leaf me alone!”
- What’s the most EGG-cellent greeting? “Omelette you in! How are you today?”
Greeting Jokes and Puns for Elders
- You know you’re getting old when “Happy Hour” is a nap. Still, greetings from this side of the lawn!
- I tried to explain to my grandkids what a greeting card is. They looked at me like I was speaking ancient Greek. Then again, I am. Greetings, fellow elder!
- My doctor gave me a get-well-soon card today. I was a little offended he thought I was leaving soon. But hey, greetings while I’m still here!
- The other day someone asked me what kind of music I like. I told them anything with a good beat… or at least a reasonable tempo. Greetings from someone who remembers vinyl!
- My joints have been acting up again. I told them, “Look, I’ve greeted you every morning with a groan, give me a break!”
- I finally figured out what’s taking up so much space on my phone… Turns out it’s all the birthday reminders! Greetings from the birthday capital of the family.
- People keep asking me what I want for my birthday. I tell them, “Just the gift of continued existence, thank you very much!” Greetings from the land of “I’ve got everything I need, mostly.”
- I went to a vintage clothing store the other day. Turns out, it was just a regular clothing store when I was younger! Greetings from someone who remembers bell bottoms.
- I saw a sign that said “Caution: Senior Citizens Crossing.” I thought to myself, “Well, how else are we supposed to get there?” Greetings from the slow lane!
- My idea of a wild Friday night is staying up past 9 pm. Greetings from someone who remembers disco… and survived it.
- You know you’re getting old when you and your teeth don’t sleep together. Greetings from someone who still enjoys a good steak… well, mostly mashed potatoes.
- I went to an antique auction and started bidding against myself. I guess some habits never die. Greetings from someone who remembers when gas was less than a dollar!
Greeting Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media
- Just got fired from my job making huge banners. I guess you could say it’s… curtains for my greeting career. 😓
- What do you call a greeting written in binary code? A tech-savvy hello! 🤖👋
- I tried to come up with a pun about a greeting card, but it completely slipped my mind. Guess I’ll just send my… blank regards? 😜✉️
- My friend tried to start a greeting card company for introverts… It folded immediately. 😔
- What’s the most egg-citing greeting? Omelette-you make my heart flutter! 🍳💕
- Tried to tell a greeting pun, but no one laughed. Guess my humor is a bit… awkward-hi? 😬👋
- You know what’s a terrible greeting? “Long time no see!” Like, what am I supposed to say, “Yeah, because I was actively avoiding you?” 😅 (A little relatable snark for the feed)
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything! Even greetings! ⚛️🤯
- I was going to write a heartfelt greeting card, but then I remembered… Ain’t nobody got time for that! 🤪 (For the meme-loving crowd)
- What’s the most musical greeting? Hey Jude! 🎶
- What’s a pirate’s favorite way to start a conversation? “Ahoy there, matey! Catch any good greetings lately?” 🏴☠️🦜
- My dog ate my greeting card. I guess you could say he’s… well-read! 🐶💌
- Just got a job writing greetings for fortune cookies. I told my boss, “I’m ready to leave my mark on the world, one cookie at a time!” She said, “That’s the spirit! Now get to work, we’ve got a big order for…” “Fortune-ately, you’re here!” 😩 (Because who doesn’t love a good groan-worthy pun?)
Pun-derful! Now Go Spread Some Laughs!
Hope these greeting puns and jokes gave you a chuckle! Remember, a pun a day keeps the doctor away… or at least makes them groan from a distance. For more hilarious wordplay and side-splitting jokes, explore the rest of our punny website. We’ve got enough material to make you laugh until you say, “I’m Inca-pable of taking any more!”
