99+ Survey Jokes: Puns So Good, They’re Off the Charts!
Hey there, fellow humor enthusiasts! 😂 Get ready to dive into the best list of survey jokes and puns this side of the internet! 😜 Whether you’re a master of wordplay or just looking for some clever chuckles for the kids, this collection is guaranteed to “survey” the needs of your funny bone. We’ve got puns so cheesy they need a questionnaire, and jokes so funny they’ll have you rolling on the floor laughing (or should we say, rolling on the “survey” results?). Get ready to laugh, because this is one survey you won’t want to skip! 😉
Top Survey Jokes – Best Picks
- Why did the survey about elevator music get a low response rate? It had no lifts.
- I just took part in a survey about unusual fears. I was absolutely petrified.
- A recent survey found that 100% of people love taking surveys. 1 in 5 people are liars.
- What do you call a survey on how to make pancakes? A batter-y of questions!
- I got a survey in the mail asking what I do in my spare time. So I’m staring at it until my spare time is over.
- Someone stole all the toilets from the police station. The police have nothing to go on.
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
- I used to hate facial hair… but then it grew on me.
- What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato!
- Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired!
- Why don’t they play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs!
- What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh!
- What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
- Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!
Clever Survey Puns – Best Picks
- Why did the survey about calendars fail? 🗓️ It had too many dates and couldn’t get a commitment.
- How do trees get on the internet? 🌳 They log in! (And then they fill out online surveys, obviously).
- I’m starting a survey about broken guitars… 🎸 It’s purely for fret research.
- Heard about the survey they’re doing on phantom limbs? 👻 They’re getting a lot of feedback already.
- Just completed a survey about elevator music… 🛗 It had its ups and downs.
- Did you hear about the survey on unpopular fonts? ✍️ It was a real Times New Roman-tic flop.
- My boss told me to do a survey about procrastination… 🤦 I’ll get right on it. Eventually.
- Taking a survey about unusual phobias… 😨 So far, the questions are leaving me speechless.
- I got paid a lot of money to participate in a survey about cheese… 🧀 Looks like I came out cheddar.
- Don’t trust atoms… ⚛️ They make up everything! Especially fake survey results.
- Did you hear about the indecisive oceanographer? 🌊 He couldn’t choose between a survey and a sound.
- I love doing online surveys while I’m on a rollercoaster… 🎢 It really throws my answers for a loop.
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? 🌾 Because he was outstanding in his field… of survey research!
Funny Survey One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Survey Jokes
- I took a survey about underground caves. Turns out, they’re really popular!
- A recent survey found that people who eat natural foods die, just like everyone else. I’m calling shenanigans on Mother Nature!
- I took a survey on the Bermuda Triangle once… It mysteriously vanished.
- Just completed a survey about ghosts… I hope I did a spirited job!
- My wife made me do a relationship survey. Apparently, “undecided” wasn’t an acceptable answer for every question.
- They tried to get me to do a survey about my satisfaction with the postal service, but I refused to answer. My answers were going to be too volatile.
- I tried to participate in an online survey about insomnia, but I kept falling asleep.
- Tried to do a survey about telekinesis, but I couldn’t get a good feel for the questions.
- Took a survey about elevator music… It had its ups and downs.
- Heard about the survey that concluded most people find ironing stressful? It really pressed the issue.
- I joined a survey about procrastination, but I’ll tell you about it later.
- Did you hear about the survey on narcissism? It was all the rage.
- The survey about broken tractors was a complete failure. It just wouldn’t plow ahead.
- I was going to join a survey on the benefits of silence… but then I thought, “Nah.”
Survey QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Survey
- Q: Why did the surveyor bring a ladder to work? A: He heard the views were breathtaking from up there.
- Q: What’s a surveyor’s favorite dessert? A: Pie charts, of course!
- Q: Did you hear about the survey about camouflage? A: Yeah, it was a massive failure. No one responded.
- Q: How long did it take the surveyor to measure the haunted house? A: He couldn’t say. Time just…flew by.
- Q: Why did the surveyor refuse to work on the submarine? A: He hated feeling out of his depth.
- Q: What did the survey about the broken mirror reveal? A: On a scale of 1 to 10, it was very reflective of the situation.
- Q: The survey asked, “On a scale of 1 to 10, how much do you like Roman numerals?” A: Apparently, the results were… I, IV, V.
- Q: Why did the scarecrow win an award for surveying? A: Because he was outstanding in his field!
- Q: The dating app survey was disastrous… A: It turns out asking “What’s your type?” only worked for blood drives.
- Q: What did the ocean say to the surveyor? A: Nothing, it just waved!
- Q: Why are mountains bad at completing surveys? A: They always overthink the scale.
- Q: Have you seen the survey about elevator music? A: It had some real highs and lows…
- Q: What’s a ghost’s favorite type of survey? A: A poll-tergeist!
- Q: Why was the calendar afraid to do a survey on its own? A: It didn’t want to face the dates.
Dad Jokes About Survey: Pun-Filled Quips
- I tried to take part in a survey about telescopes, but I was told I wasn’t farsighted enough.
- They’re conducting a survey to find the country with the most loyal citizens. I hear it’s a tie between New Zealand and Finland. Apparently, their results are coming in Finn-land first!
- A guy asked me to take a survey about his landscaping business… I said, “Sure, but I have to be lawn-est with you, I’m not interested in gardening.”
- I got halfway through a survey about insomnia, but it just couldn’t hold my interest.
- I just completed a survey about ghosts… turns out they’re more scared of us than we are of them! Spooky, survey says!
- Did you hear about the survey that was handed out on a roller coaster? Apparently, the participants were really concerned about the ride’s length.
- I tried to complete a survey about hidden treasure, but they lost me at “X marks the spot.”
- They keep sending me surveys about retirement, but I always put them straight in the bin. Why waste time planning when you can just wing it?
- My wife asked me to participate in a survey about household chores. I told her I’d rather do the dishes.
- A market research company sent me a survey about my shampoo preferences. I wrote back, “Can’t you tell?”
- Just finished a survey about time travel. It was incredibly long… like, years.
- I took a survey about elevator music today. It had its ups and downs.
- Did you hear about the survey they did on mirror preferences? It had very reflective results.
- Just got asked to do a survey about gravity. I’m not sure if I should put it off or not.
- I told my wife I’d answer a survey about housework if somebody paid me. She said, “That’s called marriage.” Remember, it’s not a groan if it’s a good pun!
Survey Jokes and Puns for Kids
- Why did the math book refuse to participate in the survey? Because it had too many problems!
- What did the survey of all the oceans say? Nothing, it just waved! 🌊
- Why was the survey about ghosts so short? Not enough people responded! 👻
- What did one raindrop say to the other raindrop during the weather survey? Looks like we’re in for a long spell of this!
- How do bees get to work? They take the buzz survey! 🐝
- What did the left side of the survey say to the right side? I don’t know, I haven’t met him!
- Why did the history book get a bad grade on its survey? They said it was living in the past!
- Why did the music notes do so well on their survey? They knew how to follow the beat! 🎶
- What do you call a survey about broken pencils? Pointless!
- Why did the tree get a perfect score on its science survey? It really knew its stuff! 🌳
- How did the cookie monster do on his dessert survey? He ate all the multiple-choice answers! 🍪
- What’s a tornado’s favorite part of taking a survey? They love to answer the open-ended questions!
- Why did the computer fail the survey? It couldn’t click on the right answers!
- Why was the calendar so popular? It had lots of dates! 😄
Survey Jokes and Puns for Elders
- My doctor asked me to take a survey about my digestive health. It was a bit invasive, but I managed to answer all the probing questions.
- Heard about the pollster who retired to a farm? He now specializes in surveying livestock. (Plays on “surveying” land)
- I participated in a survey about insomnia. They called me at 3 am. I told them I was a little busy at the moment.
- A survey asked seniors, “On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate your memory?” Most of them said, “What survey?”
- Took a survey about my love life. Turns out, I’m statistically insignificant.
- I tried to start a survey company in the Sahara, but it failed. Turns out, I couldn’t find any poll-bearers. (Plays on “pallbearers”)
- Why did the grumpy old surveyor retire? He said he was tired of dealing with boundary issues. (Plays on personal boundaries)
- My wife suggested I take up surveying as a hobby. I told her I’d rather not compass around anymore. (Plays on “compassing” or going in circles)
- I took part in a survey about telemarketing calls. They’ve called me back seven times to confirm my answers.
- Apparently, 9 out of 10 people enjoy participating in statistical surveys. The tenth person is always lying.
- Just got a survey in the mail asking about my experience at a nude beach. I couldn’t quite wrap my head around the questions. (Plays on “wrap” for clothing)
- Asked my grandfather, the retired surveyor, if he preferred the metric or imperial system. He said, “As long as they measure up, I don’t mind.” (Plays on “measure up” for quality)
- They say 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea. I guess I’m part of the control group. Somebody’s gotta be.
Survey Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media
- Just completed a survey about my favorite flooring material. Turns out it was an opinion poll-ish. 😄
- I got paid $50 to participate in a survey about unusual phobias. Seems like easy money… unless you’re scared of long surveys. 😨
- This survey asked me how many kids I have and if I plan on having more. Is this how the government figures out who to make into a clown car? 🤡
- My boss said I take too many breaks. Now he wants me to document everything I do at work. Sounds more like a “surveillance” than a survey. 👀
- Did you hear about the survey they’re doing on kleptomania? They’re having trouble getting the results back. 🤫
- A survey asked me to rate my communication skills. I answered “Amazing!” No response yet though… Guess I lied. 😔
- Someone keeps leaving surveys on my doorstep about my satisfaction with local exorcists. Honestly, things have been pretty quiet around here lately. 👻
- Apparently, 9 out of 10 people enjoy participating in surveys. The tenth person is always lying. 🤥
- My proctologist said I need to be more aware of my surroundings. Finally! A medical reason to take all those “How Did We Do?” surveys. 🍑😊
- My love life is like a poorly designed survey: all multiple choice and no open-ended questions. 💔
- Trying to design a survey for ghosts is difficult. They’re always so transparent with their answers. 👻
- They’re doing a survey to find out what’s at the bottom of the ocean. Fish are like, “Just ask! We’re right here!” 🐠
- Aced my online marketing survey. Got all the questions right, even the trick ones. Feeling like a true surveyvor. 😎
- Just finished a survey about insomnia. I couldn’t wait to answer all the questions… said nobody, ever. 🥱
Survey This: Jokes That Don’t Pollute!
We hope these survey jokes and puns didn’t pollute your good time! If you’re thirsty for more hilarious wordplay, our punny website is just a click away. You’d be statistically insignificant not to check it out!
