98+ Haunted House Jokes & Puns: You’ve Been Warned! π»π
Get ready to groan with glee, because you’ve stumbled upon the best list of haunted house jokes and puns this side of the spirit world!π» This ain’t your average, run-of-the-mill humor, folks. We’re serving up a cauldron full of clever wordplay and spooky jokes for kids and adults alike. So buckle up, because this list of puns is guaranteed to have you howling with laughter… or are those real screams we hear? ππ
Top Haunted House Jokes – Best Picks
- Why did the ghost go to the bar in the haunted house? To get a boos-t! π»π»
- Why did the ghost buy a house? He was tired of feeling transparent. π π»
- What’s a ghost’s favorite room in a haunted house? The living roomβ¦ or maybe the dead room? π€π
- Why are ghosts bad liars? Because you can see right through them! ππ»
- Why was the ghost always tired? He worked the graveyard shift! π΄πͺ¦
- What do you call a haunted house that’s always happy? A GHOUL time! ππ»
- I went to a haunted house party β it was so scaryβ¦ Even the cake was in tiers! π±π
- How do you make a haunted milkshake? Give it a few big shakes, and wait for the screams! π₯€π»
- What to do if a ghost haunts your fridge? Call the Ghostbustersβ¦or just eat all your leftovers really fast. π»π¨
- Why did the ghost get a job at the haunted house? He was dying to work there! ππΌ
- How do ghosts pay their rent? With scare currency, of course! π°π»
- You know, haunted houses are like bad neighborsβ¦ They’re always up to some sheet! π»ποΈ
- What’s a ghost’s favorite snack? Spook-hetti! ππ»
- What did the ghost say to the other ghost who was wearing a sheet? “Hey, I can see right through your act!” ππ»

Clever Haunted House Puns – Best Picks
- “This haunted house? More like a haunted yawn.” (Delivered with exaggerated boredom while exiting)
- “I wasn’t scared of the haunted house… I was a-ghasted at the ticket prices!”
- “That ghost had the ghoul to ask for my phone number!”
- “The ghosts tried to throw me out of the haunted house… They said I was livening up the place.”
- “Haunted houses are so dramatic… always putting on a specter-cle.”
- “I’d tell you about the haunted house, but it’s too frightening. Let’s just say it was an eerie-sistible experience.”
- “I went to a haunted house themed disco… it had a great Boo-gie man.”
- “This haunted house has a real tomb-and-gloom atmosphere.” (Delivered dramatically)
- “Went to a haunted house that was actually an escape room… Talk about high spirits!”
- “Not sure what was going on in that haunted house, but I definitely felt a presence. Maybe I should get that checked out.” (Delivered anxiously)
- “The skeletons in the haunted house started a band… They call themselves Boney M.”
- “The scariest part of the haunted house wasn’t the ghosts, it was the cob-webs.” (Delivered with a shudder while pretending to brush cobwebs off)
- “I was going to ask the ghosts for decorating advice… They really know how to creep it real.”
- “Those ghosts really tried to spirit me awayβ¦ but I’m not one to be easily ghosted.”
- “I wasn’t scared of the haunted house at first… but then things got real ghoul, real fast.”
Funny Haunted House One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Haunted House Jokes
- I tried to tell a ghost story at the haunted house, but everyone said I was being too derivative.
- Why did the ghost go to the haunted house party? He heard it was going to be a scream.
- This haunted house is so scary, even the ghosts are like, “Nah, I’m good.”
- What do you call a haunted house that’s always under construction? A work in spook-gress.
- This haunted house is so old, it uses dial-up… boo-up, I mean.
- I went to a haunted house and asked for a medium soda. They gave me a glass and said, “He’ll be with you shortly.”
- Iβm not saying this haunted house is haunted, but the doors keep opening on their ghoul-darn own!
- The real estate agent said this haunted house comes with all the amenities… apparently, that includes poltergeists and cold spots.
- I’m thinking of starting a haunted house food truck… I’ve got some killer recipes.
- Why are ghosts terrible liars? Because you can see right through them.
- Haunted houses are always so negative… it’s all doom and gloom.
- I stayed in a haunted house last night. It wasn’t that bad, but the wifi was dead slow.
- I went to a haunted house party, but I don’t think I fit in… I was dressed as myself.
- My friend got a job as a tour guide at the local haunted house… It’s an undead-end job, but he enjoys it.
Haunted House QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Haunted House
- Q: Why did the ghost go back to school? A: To get his boo-gle degree! π»π
- Q: What do you call a haunted house that’s always losing its keys? A: A real deadbolt! ποΈπ
- Q: Why are ghosts terrible liars? A: Because you can see right through them! ππ»
- Q: What’s a ghost’s favorite position in basketball? A: Center…because they love to haunt the paint! ππ»
- Q: Why don’t they play poker in haunted houses? A: Too many cheaters…and they’re already dead! ππ»
- Q: Heard about the haunted house so scary it got repossessed? A: Yeah, the owners couldn’t handle the mortgage payments! πΈπ¨
- Q: Why did the ghost hunter bring a ladder to the haunted house? A: He heard the spirits were high! πͺπ»
- Q: What kind of music do ghosts dance to? A: Soul music! πΆπ»
- Q: What do you call a ghost who’s lost his way? A: A lost ghoul! ππ§
- Q: How do you make a witch itch? A: Take away the ‘W’! π§ββοΈπ
- Q: Why did the vampire subscribe to the haunted house magazine? A: He was looking for new bat ideas! π¦π§ββοΈ
- Q: What room do ghosts avoid in a haunted house? A: The living room, of course! ποΈπ»
- Q: Why are ghosts such bad workers? A: They’re always getting fired! π₯π»
- Q: What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog? A: He’s mist-ified! π«οΈπ»
Dad Jokes About Haunted House: Pun-Filled Quips
- Why did the ghost go to the haunted house party? To lift his spirit!
- I went to a haunted house so scary, even the ghosts were like, “Get a sheet together, man!”
- You know the owners of that haunted house are loaded? They made a killing in real estate!
- Haunted houses are so dramatic… Always with the chain rattling!
- Just saw a ghost riding a lawnmower outside a haunted house! Guess he was just dying to get that yard work done.
- I think the thermostat in this haunted house is broken. It’s ice cold in here!
- This haunted house has terrible Wi-Fi. The ghosts keep saying, “No connection here!”
- Why do ghosts love old houses? Because they’re full of character!
- I tried to tell a ghost story at the haunted house, but⦠It just came out a little flat.
- Don’t worry about the cobwebs in the haunted house. They’re just part of the website!
- This haunted house needs a good cleaning. It’s covered in boo-gers!
- What’s a ghost’s favorite room in a haunted house? The living room!
- Never play hide and seek in a haunted house… You’ll be ghosted for sure!
- Haunted houses are like bad comedians… They both rely on the element of surprise!
Haunted House Jokes and Puns for Kids
- Why did the ghost go to the doctor? He was feeling sheet-y! π»
- What room in a haunted house do ghosts avoid? The living room! π
- What’s a ghost’s favorite fruit? A boo-berry! π»π«
- Why did the ghost get detention at school? He kept throwing erasers and making spook-tacular messes! π»π
- Where do baby ghosts learn their ABCs? At ghoul school! π»π«
- What’s a ghost’s favorite position in soccer? Ghoulkeeper! π»β½
- Why did the vampire subscribe to the ghost’s newsletter? He heard it had fang-tastic content! π§ββοΈπ°
- Why was the ghost such a bad liar? Because you could see right through him! π»π€₯
- What kind of music do ghosts like to dance to? Soul music! π»πΆ
- Why are ghosts bad at hide-and-seek? Because you can always see right through them! π»π
- How do you make a witch itch? Take away the “W”! π§ββοΈπ
- What do you get if you cross a cat and a ghost? A scaredy-cat that’s already transparent! ππ»
- Why did the ghost get a job at the construction site? He wanted to learn how to boo-ild a house! π»ποΈ
- Why did the ghost refuse to go skydiving? He was afraid of getting sheet stains! π»πͺ
Haunted House Jokes and Puns for Elders
- Why did the ghost couple decide to buy the haunted house? They got it for a spirited price.
- A medium told me my old vacation home is haunted by a restless spirit. That explains why it was always so hard to sell… terrible boo-kerage.
- You know you’re getting old when… You visit a haunted house and the ghosts are complaining about their sciatica.
- My retirement plan is to buy a haunted house and rent it out. Turns out passive income is a grave mistake.
- What do you call a haunted house that’s always under construction? A fixer-upper apparition.
- I tried to tell a ghost story at the retirement home, but… No one could hear me; they were all wearing their hearing aids.
- How do you make a haunted milkshake? Start with some scared cream.
- Why do ghosts avoid online dating? They’re afraid of getting ghosted.
- Doctor says I need to reduce my stress. Maybe I should move… Into a haunted house. I hear rent is killer.
- The ghosts next door are having a sΓ©ance tonight. Should I invite them over for spirits afterward?
- Why are ghosts such bad liars? You can see right through them.
- Heard they’re making a retirement community in that old haunted asylum. Finally, a place where I can really be myself.
- What’s a ghost’s favorite type of tea? De-caffeen-ated. Don’t want to stay up all night…again.
- My neighbor says I shouldn’t be afraid of the ghosts in my attic… Easier said than done when they keep borrowing my dentures!
- Remember, kids, there’s nothing to fear in a haunted house except… Property taxes, they’ll get you every time.
Haunted House Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media
- Just saw a ghost driving a U-Haul full of furniture. Guess he’s finally moving out of his parents’ haunted house. #GhostlyGrownUp
- This haunted house is offering a “fright guarantee.” What happens if you’re not scared? Do you get your ghoul back? #RefundMyFear
- You know those air freshener ghosts you hang in your car? They’re not doing their job. My car still smells haunted. #SpookProofDeodorizer
- I went to a haunted house but it was full of friendly ghosts. I guess you could say it was… dis-spiriting. #BooHoNo
- Went to a haunted house themed escape room. Got locked in with the ghosts. Turns out, they were trying to escape from us. #TableTurners
- My friend says his apartment is haunted by the ghosts of bad decisions. I told him that sounds less like a haunting, and more like a Tuesday. #RelatableHaunting
- What do you call a haunted house that’s always under construction? A work in spook-gress. #HomeDepotHorrors
- Tried to take a nap in the haunted house. Turns out, the ghosts have a terrifying lullaby playlist. #HeavyMetalHauntings
- This haunted house has free wifi, but the password changes every night. They said if I really want to connect, I should try using a Oui-ja board. #TechSavvySpecters
- Bought a used Ouija board on eBay. Turns out it was haunted by a grammar enthusiast. Now it only spells correctly. #BooProofreader
- I’m thinking of opening a haunted bakery. I’ve already got the perfect name: The Cake Undertaker. #SweetAndSpooky
- Do you think cemetery workers get haunted by the ghosts of overtime? #GraveyardGig
- Never trust a skeleton with financial advice. They have no body of work to show for it. #BoneyBanker
- Why did the ghost go on a date with the ghoul? He could really feel her spirit. #SupernaturalRomance
Ghostly Giggles End… For Now! π» π€£
So there you have it, folks! Enough haunted house puns and jokes to make the ghosts groan (or maybe they’re just creaking floorboards?). If you’re hungry for more side-splitting wordplay, our website is positively crawling with hilarious puns and jokes. Come on in for a spell, and let the good times haunt you!