99+ Clip Jokes: Get Ready to Pun-ch Up Your Day
Get ready to laugh your 😂 socks off because we’ve got a list of clip jokes and puns that are simply the best! 🎉 From paperclip escapades to hair-raising punchlines, this collection of clever wordplay is perfect for kids and adults who love a good chuckle. 🤣 Get ready for some seriously funny puns and humor that will leave you clipped to this page! 📌
Clever Clip Puns – Top Picks
- Fasten your seatbelts, this pun’s a clip show.
- That barber’s so quick, he gives warp-speed clips.
- Found a coupon for scissors? Clip it good!
- My paperclip collection? Let’s just say it’s well-rounded.
- That movie’s ending? Definitely a cliffhanger clip.
- My internet’s down. Guess I’ll just clip out for a bit.
- Bought a paperclip online? Must be a digital download.
- That stand-up routine was killer! Give that comic a clip!
- Paperclip walked into a bar. Bartender says, “Hey, got your point.”
- How do robots style their hair? With algorithmic clips.
- My favorite ASMR? The satisfying clink of a clip.
Top Clip Jokes – Best Picks
- Why did the paperclip go to the doctor? It was feeling a little bent out of shape.
- What do you call a clip that’s always getting into trouble? A kliptomaniac!
- Why do paperclips get good grades? They know how to hold things together.
- How do you fix a broken clip? With a Clip-Aid!
- What’s a paperclip’s favorite movie? Clip Notes!
- My attempt at stand-up comedy went horribly… The audience’s reaction was ice cold. Luckily, I had my material on a clip board.
- What did the sentimental stapler say to the paperclip? I’m attached to you!
- Why don’t they allow paperclips in school? They’re always picking things up!
- Why was the paperclip proud of its workout? It was feeling strong and binder-ly.
- How did the paperclip win the race? It took a shortcut!
- I used to have a job making paperclips… But then they let me go. Turns out I wasn’t very productive. I just couldn’t cut it.
- Why are paperclips so good at keeping secrets? They never spill the beans, they just hold the papers!
- What’s a paperclip’s favorite sport? Fencing!
Funny Clip One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Clip Jokes
- My barber gave me a video of my last haircut. He said to consider it a highlight reel.
- I tried to explain to my friend what “copy and paste” means, but he just kept saying, “Sounds like cheating with extra clips!”
- They say money talks… but all mine ever says is “clip, clip, goodbye.”
- I got arrested at the bank today for trying to withdraw $100 using a paperclip and a dream. The teller just said, “Sir, this is a transaction, not an art project.”
- I wanted to open a store that sells only different types of clips. I figured it would be a… niche market.
- My kid asked me what the opposite of a paperclip was. I told him, “That’s easy, it’s a paper unfasten!”
- What do you call a snail that’s really good at racing? A clip-clop champion.
- I bought a hair clip made entirely of diamonds. It cost a fortune, but at least it holds my hair back in style.
- My dog ate my movie script about a dog groomer. I guess you could say he really clipped the story short.
- I told my friend I was going to clip coupons all day. He said, “Sounds exciting!” I said, “Don’t get too clipped up about it.”
- Why don’t they play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs… and they’re always trying to clip the deck.
- My kid tried to pay for candy with a paperclip. The cashier said, “Sorry, we don’t accept paperclips.” He replied, “But it’s a money clip!”
- I tried to start a metal band called “Paperclip.” We were going to be heavy metal, but our drummer just wasn’t cut out for it.
- Someone stole all the clips from my office. I have no idea who’s responsible, but I’m starting to get suspicious of the stapler.
- Life is like a box of paperclips: You never know what you’re gonna get, but it’s always good to have one handy.
Clip QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Clip
- Q: Why did the paperclip feel under the weather? A: Because it was feeling a little paper-thin!
- Q: What did the barber say to the impatient customer waiting for a haircut? A: Quit being such a clip-board, it’ll be your turn soon!
- Q: What sound does a magical stapler make? A: Clip-po-di-doo-dah!
- Q: Why was the hair clip always invited to parties? A: It was known to hold things together!
- Q: Did you hear about the clumsy hairdresser? A: He kept giving everyone clip-itation marks!
- Q: What do you call a video game boss fight that’s over too quickly? A: An anti-clip!
- Q: What’s a hairdresser’s favorite type of music? A: Anything with a good beat to clip to!
- Q: What’s a sheep’s favorite browser? A: Google Chrome…they heard it’s great for clip-pings!
- Q: Why did the stapler break up with the paperclip? A: It said their relationship lacked a certain…spark!
- Q: What’s a programmer’s favorite way to secure their hair? A: With a code clip!
- Q: Why don’t they allow scissors in school? A: They’re afraid someone will clip-se the competition!
- Q: Why was the comedian worried about his act about stationery? A: He was afraid it would be too…clip-art!
- Q: How do you fix a cracked pumpkin? A: With a pumpkin patch…or a really strong clip!
- Q: Why did the nail go to art school? A: It wanted to be a clip-art model!
- Q: Why did the movie editor get fired? A: They kept leaving important scenes on the clip-ping room floor!
Dad Jokes About Clip: Pun-Filled Quips
- I tried to join a hair clip factory tour, but they told me it was restricted to employees only. Apparently, I didn’t make the cut.
- What do you call a dinosaur with a prominent paperclip on its head? A Clip-letosaurus!
- My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it. So, I took it to the movies. It was a great bonding experience, even if he did steal all my clips during the trailers.
- Just saw a sign that said “Watch for Children.” How can I watch them ALL at once? I only have two video clips!
- Why are pirates such big fans of video editing ? They love a good swash-buckling clip!
- How did the barber win an award? He gave an outstanding clip-tation!
- My kid asked me to help him with his hair, but I accidentally used my hole-punch instead of a clip. Guess you could say I got a little carried away.
- Why don’t they allow paperclips on planes? They’re too plane-ly visible!
- What do you call a motivational speaker for paperclips? A fastener-speaker!
- What’s a gamer’s favorite type of hair accessory? Screen clips!
- I’m starting a band called “The Rusty Trombones.” Our first hit single? “Paperclips of Love!”
- What’s a sheep’s favorite type of video? A shear-to-believe clip!
- How do you fix a cracked pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch clip!
- Where do hipsters get their hair cut? A clip joint, where else?
- I thought about opening a paperclip store, but I didn’t want to get clipped on the profits!
Clip Jokes and Puns for Kids
- Why did the paper lose the race? Because it ran out of clips! 👟 💨
- What do you call a sheep’s haircut? A shear clip! 🐑✂️
- What did one bobby pin say to the other? I can’t wait to clip up with you later! 😄
- Why did the teacher wear a paperclip to school? She wanted to keep her thoughts organized! 👩🏫📎
- What’s a snail’s favorite type of video? A slow-mo clip! 🐌🎥
- What’s a bird’s favorite hairstyle? A feather clip! 🐦🎀
- Where do horses go to get their manes styled? The mane clip salon! 🐴💇♀️
- How do you fix a cracked pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch clip! 🎃🩹
- Why did the computer get in trouble at school? It kept clipping notes onto the internet! 💻🤫
- What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear… just kidding, don’t clip its claws! 🐻😂
- What’s a pirate’s favorite hair accessory? A treasure clip! 🏴☠️💎
- Where do paperclips go on vacation? The clipboardwalk! 🏖️📎
- Why don’t they allow scissors in school? They’re always looking for a reason to clip! ✂️😜
Clip Jokes and Puns for Elders
- Why did the barber win an award? He was outstanding in his field…and exceptionally good at using clips!
- I tried to join a string quartet, but they rejected me. Apparently, I didn’t make the cut. They even said my timing was… well, clipped.
- My wife got upset when I said her new hairdo reminded me of a famous clipper ship. I guess it was a cutting remark.
- Technology sure moves fast. I just bought the latest smartphone, and now they say it’s already clipped at the heels. I guess that’s what they call “cutting edge technology.”
- Heard about the kidnapping at the paperclip factory? The ransom note said, “We’ve got your son. No funny business, or we’ll … staple him!”
- Retirement is like a pair of nail clippers. Sure, they dull over time, but they always come in handy for trimming down those pesky to-do lists.
- Those antique scissors weren’t cheap. The price really clipped my wings this month.
- They say time flies when you’re having fun… but have you ever tried outrunning a pair of garden shears? Now that’s what I call a close shave!
- Went to a seminar on time management—very disappointing. It only lasted a minute! I guess they wanted to keep it… clipped.
- What do you call a sheepdog with a bad haircut? A clip-off!
- My accountant is obsessed with paperclips. He’s always telling me I need to reduce my paperclip expenditure, saying, “Every penny clipped is a penny earned!”
- Why did the gardener plant light bulbs? He wanted to grow his own power…clip!
- Heard about the new movie about competitive scrapbooking? The tension was palpable! They really clipped along to the climax.
- I’ve started collecting vintage nail clippers. It’s a hobby with relatively low stakes.
- Ever notice how younger generations are glued to their phones? Back in my day, we only had rotary phones. Took forever to make a call, but at least our conversations weren’t so…clipped.
Clip Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media
- Just got fired from the hair salon. Apparently, I took my “creative clips” a little too far. 😩✂️
- My friend tried to explain cryptocurrency to me using clips from “The Big Bang Theory.” Now that’s what I call a “Sheldon clip-to.” 🤪🚀
- My biggest pet peeve? People who don’t clip their dogs’ nails. It’s such a ruff sound! 🐶😠
- Dating a hairdresser is intense. We argue about everything, even down to the relationship’s clip notes. 💔📝
- Tried to make a YouTube video essay entirely using movie clips. Copyright laws said “Nope, not on my watch.” 🎥🚫
- Life is like a box of paperclips. It’s pointless without a stapler. 😔📎
- My secret talent? I can identify any movie based on just the sound of the opening credits clip. It’s my claim to fame. 😎🎬
- I told my barber “Give me the Edward Scissorhands.” He said, “Don’t worry, I’m fully qualified to clip it real good.” 💇♂️🔥
- Why are crabs such bad barbers? They always get too crabby when you ask them to clip your split ends. 🦀💈
- I tried to write a song using only the sounds of paperclips being bent. It was metal. 🤘📎🎤
- Just bought a self-driving car. It came with a ten-page list of disclaimers. Apparently it’s not clip-to drive itself…yet. 🚗😅
- My kid’s attempt at origami is basically just folding a piece of paper in half and calling it a “paperclip.” Gotta start somewhere! 🤪👶
- I used to be a drummer for a band called “The Paperclips.” We were pretty attached to our music. 🥁📎
