103+ Fencing Jokes & Puns: You’ll Be Foiled By These!
En garde! Prepare to parry with laughter because you’re about to be hilariously ambushed by the best🤺 list of fencing jokes and puns this side of the piste! 😂 Get ready for some seriously sharp humor, witty wordplay, and puns so clever they’ll have you shouting “touché!” This collection of funny fencing jokes for kids and adults alike is guaranteed to bring the laughs. 🤣 So, are you ready to engage in some comedic swordplay? 😉 Let’s jump right in!
Top Fencing Jokes – Best Picks
- Why did the fencer get lost on his way to the final? He took the wrong en garde!
- What do you call a fencer who always wins? An absolute weapon!
- What’s a fencer’s favorite movie snack? Sword dough.
- I used to fence, but I quit. The competition was always point-less.
- Why did the fencer get kicked out of the restaurant? He kept trying to order the “fléche flambé.”
- Did you hear about the fencing club that was struggling financially? They had to hold a foil drive.
- A fencer walks into a bar with a foil under each arm. He says, “I’ll take a pint of beer… and one for the blade!”
- What’s the difference between a fencer and a pirate? One parries with style, the other parrots with a “shiver me timbers!”
- What do you call a fencer who’s a sore loser? A bad sport… or a bad swordsman, take your pick!
- Why are fencers good at poker? They always have a winning hand… well, wrist!
- I tried to explain to my friend that fencing is a very safe sport… but he just wouldn’t listen. I guess the point didn’t land.
- Two fencers walk past a bakery. One says, “Hey, is that the smell of defeat I’m smelling?” The other replies, “No, that’s just the sourdough.”
- Why was the fencing coach always optimistic? He always looked at the point in everything!
Clever Fencing Puns – Best Picks
- I tried to explain to my friend why fencing is so electrifying… but I think he was foil-ed.
- That fencing demonstration was épée-ly disappointing. They really need to work on their pointe.
- I tried out for the fencing team, but I didn’t make the cut. Apparently, my riposte was too slow.
- What do you call a fencer who always wins? An absolute weapon!
- Fencing is all about give and take. Mostly take.
- A fencer’s favorite musical genre? Heavy metal.
- Why did the fencing champion retire? He was tired of all the foil play.
- You know, fencing is like chess… with swords!
- I’m starting to think my fencing opponent is reading my mind. He keeps anticipating all my moves! Maybe I need a foil hat.
- My friend told me he does fencing for the exercise. I told him he should try running… away!
- What’s a fencer’s favorite drink? Anything on pointe!
- I’m not sure I understand fencing, but I can tell you it’s definitely en garde-ning my interest.
- Fencing is great for building arm strength. Especially when you’re carrying all that heavy metal.
- Never tell a bad pun to a fencer. They’ll just parry it away.
- Why are fencers such good friends? They always know how to touch base.
Funny Fencing One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Fencing Jokes
- I told my friend fencing was a safe sport. He looked skeptical until I pointed to the epee and said, “See? Safety tip!”
- A fencer walked into a bar with a foil under each arm. The bartender raised an eyebrow and said, “You know, we serve drinks here, too.”
- My neighbor is starting to get really good at fencing… I just hope he never asks for his lawnmower back.
- Don’t try to distract a fencer. They’re easily fenced in.
- I wanted to learn how to fence so I could be more romantic, but all that swordplay just led to a stabbing pain in my wallet.
- What do you call a fencer who always wins? Unbeaten… and a little bit pointy.
- I tried explaining fencing to my dog, but he just kept looking at me like I was barking mad.
- My friend said fencing is the perfect sport; it’s all about out-foxing your opponent. I said, “What does a fox have to do with it?”
- Fencing: It’s all fun and games until someone loses a point.
- Where do sick swords go? To the fen-cing clinic.
- Always be careful when shaking a fencer’s hand. You might get the point.
- Why did the fencing champion retire? He felt like he’d reached the pinnacle point of his career.
- If you’re ever feeling lost in life, just remember: In fencing, at least you know where to draw the line.
- I tried to join a fencing group, but they said I wasn’t sharp enough. I guess I just didn’t make the cut.
Fencing QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Fencing
- Q: Why did the fencing instructor insist on using recycled materials? A: He wanted to make a point about sustainable swordsmanship.
- Q: What’s a fencer’s favorite type of music? A: Anything with a good beat… and parry.
- Q: Where do fencers go when they die? A: The Iron Paradise.
- Q: What do you call a fencer who always wins? A: An absolute blade-r!
- Q: Why did the fencer bring a ladder to the match? A: He heard his opponent was really good at counter-ripostes.
- Q: What did the fencing coach say to the clockmaker? A: “My students need to work on their timing, can you give them a hand?”
- Q: Why did the fencer get kicked out of the orchestra? A: He kept trying to conduct with his épée.
- Q: What’s the most important thing to remember during a fencing match? A: Don’t get caught red-handed… or should I say “red-sworded?”
- Q: Did you hear about the fencer who was afraid of the dark? A: He was constantly afraid of being foil-ed.
- Q: What do you call a fencer who’s also a great comedian? A: A master of weaponized wit!
- Q: Why was the fencing match so short? A: They were using really sharp wit!
- Q: Why did the fencer fail his history test? A: He couldn’t tell the difference between a parry and the French Revolution.
- Q: What do you call a group of fencing dinosaurs? A: A Jurassic Parkour.
- Q: What do fencers order at the bakery? A: “One baguette, sliced thinly, to die for please.”
- Q: Two fencers walk into a bar. What happens? A: Depends who has right of way!
Dad Jokes About Fencing: Pun-Filled Quips
- I told my son to try fencing because it builds character. He said, “Dad, you’re always fencing with my emotions!”
- Why don’t they play cards at the fencing club? Because too many people keep calling “en garde!”
- I tried to have a serious conversation with a fencer about epees. He kept saying, “Touché” to everything I said!
- I used to be a fencing coach, but I had to retire. The work was too de-fencing!
- Two cannibals were eating a clown. One says to the other, “Does this taste funny to you?” The other replies, “No, but this fencing tastes a bit sharp!”
- Why did the fencer get lost on his way to the tournament? He took the wrong route!
- You know, fencing is like arguing with a porcupine… Pointless.
- I met a fencer who could write with both hands. Turns out, he’s ambidextrous! Who knew fencing built those skills?
- Why did the fencer cross the road? To get to the other foil!
- What’s the difference between a fencer and a pirate? One parries with a blade, the other parleys with one.
- What’s a fencer’s favorite drink? Anything on tap!
- A fencer walks into a bar… He should have ducked!
- If you’re ever feeling down, just remember: at least you’re not fencing with a pool noodle.
- My wife told me to take the spider webs down or she’d call a professional. I told her, “Relax, honey, I’ve dabbled in fencing before!”
Fencing Jokes and Puns for Kids
- Why did the fencing student get detention? He kept getting caught sword fighting!
- What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a fencing champion? A border collie that can really fence!
- What position did the ghost play on the fencing team? He was the spirit!
- Where do frogs practice fencing? On the lily pad stom!
- Why was the bee great at fencing? He had a bee-utiful point!
- What did the fencing coach say to motivate his team? “Go out there and make some touchés!”
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Fencing. Fencing who? Fencing you a happy birthday!
- Why did the knight go to fencing practice? To become a sir!
- What do you call a fencing tournament for clowns? A silly competition!
- Where do hedgehogs learn to fence? At prickly school!
- What’s a fencer’s favorite drink? Orange juice, because they love their vitamin C (victory)!
- Why did the robot join the fencing team? He wanted to be electric!
- What kind of music do fencers listen to? Anything with a good beat!
- How do trees fence? With their branches!
- What did one fencing sword say to the other? “Touche!” Then the other one replied, “You got me right where it hurts!”
Fencing Jokes and Puns for Elders
- Why did the retiree take up fencing? He wanted to feel sharp again!
- My friend said fencing is the only sport where you can be completely unarmed and still get disarmed. I told him that was quite a pointed observation.
- You know you’re getting old when… you have to take up fencing just to remember what side your sabre is buttered on.
- I used to think fencing was dangerous. Then I tried knitting needles. Let’s just say, things could always be more…pointed.
- A fencer walks into a bar with a foil under each arm. He says, “I’ll take a pint, and one for the road.”
- I tried explaining the concept of “right of way” in fencing to my grandkids. They just looked at me and said, “But grandpa, shouldn’t everyone have the right of way?” Kids these days…
- Why are fencers always so calm and collected? They have impeccable blade-runner control.
- My doctor told me to take up fencing for the exercise. I told him, “I’d rather just walk my age… without the pointy things.”
- What’s the difference between a bad fencer and a pirate? One says, “En garde!” The other says, “Arrrgh, you’re boarded!”
- Fencing: the only sport where you can literally disarm your opponent with style. And a touch of irony.
- Why did the older fencer bring a thesaurus to the match? He wanted to find a synonym for “defeat” that sounded more dignified.
- My friend told me fencing is like dancing with knives. I told him, “Honey, at our age, it’s more like a slow waltz with butter knives… but just as competitive!”
- They say fencing is a young person’s sport. But I say, experience has taught me where to stand so they run into my sword.
- Retirement is like fencing. It’s all about finding the right balance between attack and defense…and hoping you don’t trip on the rug.
Fencing Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media
- Just got kicked out of fencing class. Turns out, épée-ing wasn’t allowed.
- I tried explaining to my friend why fencing is so great, but I think he’s on the fence about it.
- What’s a fencer’s favorite drink? Anything on the rocks.
- I’m starting to think my fencing instructor doesn’t like me. Every time I do something right, he says, “That’s disarmingly good!”
- People are surprised to learn I fence. I guess they always pictured me as more of a lover, not a fighter. 😉
- I wanted to join a fencing league for beginners, but they said I was too advanced. Talk about a backhanded compliment!
- You know you’re a fencing nerd when your idea of a romantic evening involves candlelight, wine, and a good debate about the merits of French grip vs. pistol grip. 🤺🍷
- Why are fencers so good at keeping secrets? Because they’re experts at parrying questions. 😉
- Date night idea: Fencing followed by takeout. It’s the perfect combination of stabbing and grabbing!
- Being a fencing referee is tough. One minute you’re calling touches, the next minute you’re foiling attempted escapes.
- My friend told me he started fencing to impress a girl. I told him, “Dude, you’re barking up the wrong plastron.”
- I’m writing a fencing-themed rom-com. Working title: “Love at First Stab.” Thoughts?
- Just saw a fencer get disqualified for excessive aggression. Apparently, “touché” doesn’t mean “finish him!” 😅
- You know you’re addicted to fencing when you start dodging slow-moving objects in real life like they’re attacks. 🐈 🚶♀️💨 (Bonus points if you add a GIF of someone reacting dramatically to something mundane!)
That’s a Wrap! En Garde for More Laughs! 🤺😄
We hope these fencing jokes and puns poked some fun into your day! If you’re still hungry for more laughs, why not parry with the rest of our punny website? We promise, it’s a truly epee-c experience!
