135+ New Year Puns & Jokes: Start the Year With a Laugh!

ByRabia Noreen & Team

🍾 Get ready to laugh your way into the new year with the ✨best✨ list of New Year puns and jokes! 🎉 This hilarious collection of humor is perfect for kids and adults alike. 😂 From clever puns to side-splitting jokes about New Year’s Eve and everything in between, this list is packed with enough laughter to kick off your year with a bang! 😜 Get ready for some seriously funny business – you’ll be rolling on the floor laughing (or should we say, “resolution-ing?”) 😆

Top ‘New Year Jokes’ – Best Picks

  1. Why did the New Year take a nap? It was exhausted from staying up all night. 😴
  2. What’s a math teacher’s favorite part of New Year’s Eve? The countdown! 🧮🎉
  3. I put my New Year’s resolutions on a diet. They’re a little cheesy. 🧀
  4. What do you call it when a bunch of grapes make New Year’s resolutions? A whine list. 🍇🍷
  5. What does everyone say on January 1st at 12:00 AM? “See, I told you I could stay up past midnight!” 🥱
  6. What do you call someone who breaks all their New Year’s resolutions? Normal. 😜
  7. What’s a clock’s New Year’s resolution? To try to keep a second hand. ⏰
  8. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato… especially after New Year’s Eve! 🦘🥔
  9. My New Year’s resolution is to be more optimistic… So, I’m assuming all the broken Christmas lights are just burnt-out wishes. ✨
  10. I asked my calendar what its New Year’s resolution was… It said it wanted to live life one day at a time.🗓️
  11. Why was the snowman looking through the carrots? He was picking his nose on New Year’s. 🥕⛄
  12. What did the calendar say to the New Year? “Look, it’s your turn now!” 🗓️
  13. I was going to quit all my bad habits for the new year… But then I remembered nobody likes a quitter. 😎
  14. What do you call a fake noodle found on New Year’s Eve? An impasta! 🍝😂
  15. What did the tree wear to the New Year’s Eve party? Tinsel! 🎄✨
  16. My resolution last year was to read more, so I joined the library… This year, I’m finishing that application form. 📚
  17. What does a ghost say on New Year’s Day? “Happy New Year… BOO!” 👻 🎉
Ultimate list and collection of Best New Year Jokes and Puns, One-liners, Dad Jokes, Funny Quotes, and Captions - Discover engaging and humorous content at PunnyHub.com

Clever ‘New Year Puns’ – Best Picks

  1. I’m so excited for the New Year, I can already taste the “new-tellings” of everyone’s resolutions! 🥂
  2. This New Year’s Eve, I’m going to party like it’s 2099… because let’s face it, I’m probably not making it that far. 🎉
  3. I told my gym they can expect to see me “new year, new me” starting next week. Gotta ease into it, you know? 💪 (said while eating pizza)
  4. My bank account is really feeling the “new year, no money” vibes after the holidays. 💸
  5. This year, I’m making a resolution to be more “punny.” Get it? “O-pun-ity?” I’ll see myself out. 🥁🚪
  6. My New Year’s resolution? To be more “pro-active.” So I bought a really expensive calendar. That counts, right? 🗓️
  7. Don’t tell 2022, but I’m already planning my New Year’s “Eve-asion” from all responsibility. 🤫
  8. My New Year’s resolution is to be more optimistic. So I’m just assuming all those weird noises in my house are celebratory fireworks. 🎆
  9. People who brag about their New Year’s resolutions are really starting to “grind my gears.” ⚙️😠
  10. Does anyone else feel like they need a “new year, new spine” after carrying all that holiday stress? 🐢
  11. This New Year’s Eve, I’m going to channel my inner “party animal.” Specifically, a sloth. In pajamas. 🦥😴
  12. I’m not saying I’m lazy, but my New Year’s resolution is to “pro-crastinate” even better than last year. 🏆
  13. My New Year’s resolution list is already longer than Santa’s naughty list. And just as likely to be ignored. 🎅
  14. This New Year, I’m embracing change! Starting with the batteries in the smoke detector. 🔋💨
  15. My therapist said I should set realistic New Year’s goals. So this year, I’m just aiming to put pants on. ✅👖
  16. My New Year’s resolution was to be more adventurous… but then I remembered I have a Netflix subscription. 🍿
  17. I’m so “over” 2023, I already pre-ordered a “2024: Director’s Cut” version. Hopefully it has a better ending. 🎬

Funny ‘New Year One-Liner Jokes’ – Short & Funny New Year Jokes

  1. I’m starting the New Year with a clean slate… well, at least a less sticky one than last year.
  2. This New Year, I’m going to make resolutions I can actually keep, like watching more Netflix.
  3. I’m not saying it’s a new year, but I did just find an unopened bag of chips in my pantry.
  4. My New Year’s resolution is to be more optimistic. So, I’m assuming this year will be canceled at the last minute.
  5. I’d tell you about my New Year’s Eve, but I can’t remember what century it was.
  6. I was going to quit all my bad habits for the New Year, but then I realized nobody likes a quitter.
  7. This New Year, I’m finally going to learn a new language… Pig Latin. Otay?
  8. My bank account after New Year’s Eve is like a refrigerator on Super Bowl Sunday: scarily empty.
  9. My New Year’s resolution is to be more organized, so I’ve already pre-ordered my 2024 calendar.
  10. I haven’t made any New Year’s resolutions yet… Still waiting for the sugar rush to wear off.
  11. Remember those New Year’s resolutions you made? Yeah, me neither.
  12. My New Year’s resolution is to be more assertive, so I’m starting by refusing to acknowledge it’s already January.
  13. I’m not sure what’s more surprising: the fact that it’s a new year, or the fact that I still fit into these jeans.
  14. My New Year’s resolution? To finally figure out how to use all the features on my smartphone before the next one comes out.
  15. This year, I’m only making realistic New Year’s resolutions. Like finally watching that movie I downloaded three years ago.
  16. I’m so broke after the holidays, my New Year’s resolution should be to invent a time machine.
  17. My New Year’s resolution is to travel more. So far, I’ve made it from the couch to the fridge.
  18. I’m starting the New Year the same way I ended the last one: slightly confused and wondering what day it is.
  19. They say the New Year is a time for fresh starts. So, I’m starting fresh out of excuses for last year.

New Year QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about New Year

  1. Q: What’s a decorator’s favorite part of New Year’s Eve? A: Watching the ball drop!
  2. Q: Why don’t they have fireworks at New Year’s in the jungle? A: Too many cheetahs!
  3. Q: What do you call it when a bunch of grapes ring in the New Year? A: A raisin-g good time! 🍇🎉
  4. Q: What do you get when you combine a New Year’s resolution with a fried chicken? A: A chick-en you can actually keep! 🍗
  5. Q: Why was the calendar afraid to start the New Year? A: It had too many dates lined up! 🗓️😅
  6. Q: What’s a computer’s favorite New Year’s tradition? A: Throwing a mega-byte party! 💻 🎉
  7. Q: What do cannibals eat on New Year’s Eve? A: Anyone they haven’t met yet. (Just kidding… hopefully!)
  8. Q: What’s a ghost’s favorite part of New Year’s Eve? A: The Boo-llons drop! 👻🥂
  9. Q: What’s a lawyer’s favorite New Year’s resolution? A: To finally win a case… or at least sue someone who says otherwise! 💼😜
  10. Q: What does a nosey pepper do on New Year’s Eve? A: Gets jalapeno business! 🌶️🤫
  11. Q: Why did the snowman name his dog “Frost”? A: Because he was his New Year’s resolution buddy! ☃️🐶
  12. Q: What did the tree wear to the New Year’s Eve party? A: Garlands, naturally! 🎄✨
  13. Q: Why was the equal sign so excited for New Year’s? A: He couldn’t wait to see what the year would be like… on the other side!
  14. Q: Why do fish live in salt water? A: Because pepper makes them sneeze! … Happy New Year! 🎉 (Just trying to spice things up!)
  15. Q: Why did the New Year’s Eve party go so badly? A: They ran out of bubbly… and ideas!
  16. Q: How do you make a New Year’s resolution last? A: Try waiting until January 2nd to make it… less pressure! 😉
  17. Q: What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A: A pouch potato! … Happy New Year! 🎉 (Okay, okay, that one was just for kicks!)
  18. Q: Why don’t calendars ever go on vacation? A: They get a new year every year! 🏖️🗓️
  19. Q: What did the math book say to the New Year? A: “Hey, let’s make this year count!” 📚🎉

Dad Jokes About New Year: Pun-Filled Quips

  1. What do you call a fake noodle on New Year’s Eve? An impasta!
  2. This year, I’m going to make a New Year’s resolution I can actually stick to: using more glue.
  3. What’s a New Year’s resolution a basketball player should never make? To travel more!
  4. Heard they’re making a movie about New Year’s resolutions. The critics are saying it’s a little derivative.
  5. I told my wife I wanted to name our twins “New” and “Year.” She said it was a terrible idea, but I think she just didn’t see it coming.
  6. Why don’t they have fireworks at the beginning of the year? Because it’s too hard to see in the New Year’s fog!
  7. What’s a clock’s New Year’s resolution? To find more time for itself.
  8. My New Year’s resolution is to become a morning person. I’m just not sure what year I’ll start.
  9. Why did the calendar get a raise at the end of the year? For all its outstanding work!
  10. I tried to make a New Year’s resolution list for a week, but I kept getting lost in all the dates!
  11. What do you call someone who breaks all their New Year’s resolutions? Normal.
  12. What did the ghost say on January 1st? Happy New Year! … Get it?
  13. Why don’t fish make New Year’s resolutions? They always break them… in schools!
  14. What did the tree wear to the New Year’s Eve party? A sparkly ball gown!
  15. My New Year’s resolution was to read more, so I got a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
  16. Remember, alcohol is not the answer. Unless you’re celebrating the New Year. Then it’s probably wine.
  17. My kids asked me what it was like to be alive in the year 2000. They’ll never believe it.
  18. What does a snowman eat on New Year’s Eve? Frosted Flakes!
  19. I started my New Year’s resolution to eat healthier, but then I got hungry. So much for that!

New Year Jokes and Puns for Kids

  1. Why did the numbers hide on New Year’s Eve? Because they knew the fireworks were coming for the new ones!
  2. What’s a little sheep’s resolution? To start a new yarn!
  3. Why don’t calendars ever go on vacation? They always have new years to look forward to!
  4. What do you call a bear with no teeth on New Year’s Day? A gummy bear!
  5. Why was the New Year’s party so loud? Because everyone was tootin’ in the new year!
  6. What does a snowman eat on New Year’s Day? Frosted Flakes!
  7. Why did the math book look so sad on New Year’s Eve? Because it was full of old problems!
  8. What’s a cat’s favorite part of New Year’s? The countdown, because they love a good catnap after!
  9. How can you tell it’s a New Year? Because the date on your calendar is brand new!
  10. Why don’t monsters celebrate New Year’s? They’re afraid of what’s new!
  11. What did the tree say to the calendar on New Year’s Day? “Leaf me alone, I’m still pine-ing for last year!”
  12. Why was the baby sad on New Year’s Eve? Because everyone kept telling him it was past his bedtime!
  13. What kind of music do they play on New Year’s Eve? Anything you can dance to!
  14. What kind of hat do you wear on New Year’s Eve? A party hat, silly!
  15. Where do the numbers go after New Year’s Eve? Back up to the new year, of course!
  16. What do you call a snowman who lost his carrot nose? Nobody nose!
  17. Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze!
  18. What do you call it when a cow jumps over a barbed wire fence? Udder destruction!
  19. Why don’t they play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs!
  20. Why do birds fly south for the winter? Because it’s too far to walk!

New Year Jokes and Puns for Adults

  1. I’m starting the new year with a clean slate. Well, at least cleaner than this bar tab.
  2. My New Year’s resolution was to read more, so I turned on the subtitles on my Netflix shows. I’m practically a scholar now.
  3. This year, I’m finally going to write that novel I’ve been putting off… or at least brainstorm some really good excuses for why I haven’t started yet.
  4. I asked my therapist if she thought I could achieve all my New Year’s resolutions this year… she said, “Let’s start with showing up to your appointments on time.”
  5. What do you call a fake noodle celebrating New Year’s? An impasta-new year!
  6. I told my friend I was going to hit the gym hard in the new year. He said, “Yeah, I’m going to hit the buffet hard too. We all have our vices.”
  7. Remember when we used to make New Year’s resolutions? Now, we just make peace with our existential dread.
  8. What does a nosey pepper do on New Year’s Eve? Gets jalapeno business!
  9. Did you hear about the over-achieving calendar? It went way above and beyond the call of New Year’s Day.
  10. My New Year’s resolution was to be more optimistic. So far, I’m pretty sure this is the worst year ever… but in a good way?
  11. My bank account after New Year’s Eve is like a really bad Tinder date: empty and disappointing.
  12. I don’t need a new year to make a fresh start. I can make questionable decisions any day of the week.
  13. My New Year’s resolution is to be more open-minded… about the possibility of not actually keeping any of my New Year’s resolutions.
  14. I tried to explain to my dog that it was the new year… he just looked at me like I was speaking a foreign language. Then again, he does that every day.
  15. New year, same me… just slightly more hungover.
  16. Why was the equal sign so excited for the new year? It was time for a fresh start… from 2022 to 2023!
  17. I was going to give up sarcasm for the new year… but then I realized that would be the perfect time to use it.

New Year Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Other Social Media

  1. I’m not setting any resolutions this New Year. I’m already pear-fect the way I am. 😉
  2. My resolution? To be more punny this year. Get ready, it’s going to be legen-dairy! 🎉
  3. This New Year’s Eve, I’m embracing my inner couch potato. Pass the snacks and let’s taco ’bout how awesome this year will be! 🥔🎉
  4. Just realized I haven’t bought any party supplies…Looks like it’s going to be a DIY New Year! ✂️🎊
  5. Anyone else feeling like they need a re-YEAR-boot after the holidays? 😴
  6. Can’t believe it’s New Year’s Eve already…time really flies when you’re having fun! 🪰
  7. Does anyone else feel personally victimized by the speed at which this year flew by? #GoneWithTheWind 💨
  8. My New Year’s resolution? To finally learn how to pro-crasti-bake delicious treats instead of just procrastinating! 🍰
  9. What do you call a fake noodle on New Year’s Eve? An impasta! 😂
  10. What’s a computer’s favorite snack on New Year’s Eve? Microchips and salsa. 💻 🎉
  11. My bank account after the holidays is like a New Year’s resolution… Gone by February. 😭💸
  12. I asked my dog what his New Year’s resolution was. He just panted and said, “More treats, less baths.” 🐶
  13. Why don’t fish celebrate New Year’s? They drop the ball… in the water. 🐟💧
  14. Why was the snowman looking through the carrots? He was picking his nose for the New Year! ⛄🥕
  15. What did the calendar say to the New Year? “Lookin’ good! Let’s make this one count!” 🗓️✨
  16. I love the optimism of a brand new year… right before reality sets in. Happy New Year anyway! 🎉😄

Have a Cracking New Year, Folks!

We hope these New Year puns and jokes helped you start the year with a chuckle (or 135)! Don’t let the pun-derful times end here, though. Explore our website for a truly rib-tickling collection of jokes that’s guaranteed to make you say “Happy New Year’s, pun intended!”

Rabia Noreen & Team

Rabia Noreen: The Punnovator

Hi, I'm Rabia, the lead punster behind PunnyHub.com, alongside my incredible team. With a background in Comparative Literature, I specialize in turning phrases and crafting chuckles. My team and I are committed to delivering humor that not only entertains but enlightens. Every post we share is designed to sprinkle your day with laughter and a dash of wit. Find your Best Puns & Jokes.

Similar Posts