135+ Olive Puns & Jokes: You’d Be Outta Your Pit Not To Laugh!

ByRabia Noreen & Team

Get ready to laugh your olives off because this is it – the ultimate list of olive puns and jokes! 😂 We’ve searched far and wide to bring you the best, most clever, and positively hilarious olive-themed humor. Whether you’re a kid or just a kid at heart, get ready for some serious pun fun. 🫒 Let’s get this olive party started! 🎉

Top ‘Olive Jokes’ – Best Picks

  1. Why did the olive quit sunbathing? Because it was already olive-toned!
  2. What did the olive say when it was proposed to? “Olive you!”
  3. What’s an olive’s favorite type of music? Anything but heavy metal!
  4. Why did the olive oil fail its driving test? It kept slipping through the gears!
  5. What do you call a very small olive? An olive you haven’t seen in a long time! (Olive you!)
  6. What did the olive say to the bartender? “Make it a double, I’m feeling extra virgin tonight!”
  7. Why don’t olives share their secrets? They’re too well-preserved!
  8. How do you communicate with a giant olive? You use olive-signals!
  9. What’s an olive’s favorite Shakespeare play? “Olive or Not to Be, That is the Question!”
  10. Why did the olive lose the race? It ran out of juice!
  11. What’s green, wrinkled, and lives at the bottom of the ocean? A sea olive!
  12. Why don’t they play poker in the olive orchard? Too many cheaters and their olive pits!
  13. What do you call an olive who’s a bad singer? Olive-tone deaf!
  14. I tried to explain to my friend how great olives are, but… he just wouldn’t budge. Guess you could say he was anti-olive!
  15. Why did the olive get a job at the bank? It was good with its money and always stayed liquid!
  16. I saw an olive at the beach wearing sunglasses and a tiny swimsuit… it looked absolutely pit-iful!
  17. You know, olives are incredibly strong… they can hold their liquor for centuries!
  18. Why are olives so bad at hide and seek? Because they’re always picked first!
  19. I went to an olive farm yesterday… turns out, they have their own olive press!
Ultimate list and collection of Best Olive Jokes and Puns, One-liners, Dad Jokes, Funny Quotes, and Captions - Discover engaging and humorous content at PunnyHub.com

Clever ‘Olive Puns’ – Best Picks

  1. I’ve got my life goals all planned out. Olive them to you later.
  2. Feeling stressed? Just remember to breathe and olive a little.
  3. My friend started a business making olive oil candles. It’s really starting to burn bright.
  4. I tried to explain to my friend why green olives are better, but he just wouldn’t olive it.
  5. What did the olive say to the bartender? “Olive another, please.”
  6. I’m writing a love song about olives. It’s called “Olive You Always.”
  7. You can tell that olive is really in love. She’s got that glow about her.
  8. My favorite Christmas carol? “Deck the Halls with Boughs of Olives.”
  9. That olive is looking rather green. Must be new in town.
  10. Why don’t they play poker in the olive grove? Too many cheaters splitting the pot.
  11. Heard about the olive who went out with a prune? It was a sticky situation.
  12. What happens when you cross a sheepdog with an olive tree? I don’t know, but it sure could herd a salad.
  13. My new year’s resolution? Be less salty, more olive.
  14. Met a very attractive olive at the farmer’s market. I think I’m falling for her.
  15. Just saw an olive on a skateboard. He looked pitted, but determined.
  16. What do you get if you cross olives with grapes? I don’t know, but I wouldn’t wine about it.
  17. Life is like a jar of olives: You never know what you’re gonna get, but it’s always an adventure.
  18. You can achieve anything you set your mind to. Olive you believe it!
  19. Olive this world needs is a little more kindness (and maybe some breadsticks).
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Funny ‘Olive One-Liner Jokes’ – Short & Funny Olive Jokes

  1. I tried to explain to my friend why olive oil is so expensive, but he just wouldn’t budge. He’s so un-olive-ing.
  2. I’m starting a dating app for olives. It’s called Find Your Pit-fect Match.
  3. You can’t make olive oil without breaking a few pits.
  4. The olive joined the circus because he was told he’d be perfect for the juggling act. He was an olive-r achiever.
  5. Why don’t olives share their secrets? They’re too well-pitted.
  6. I went to an olive bar and asked for a martini. The bartender said, “Sir, this is an olive bar.” I replied, “Sorry, I must have olive-rheard.”
  7. An olive went to the bank looking for a loan. The loan officer asked, “What’s your col-lateral?”
  8. Two olives get into a fight. One screams, “You’re pit-iful!”
  9. My therapist told me to embrace my mistakes. Guess I’ll have another olive.
  10. What do you call a group of olives playing music? An olive pit orchestra.
  11. I tried to make olive oil at home, but I think I used the wrong type of olives. All I got was a jar of bitter disappointment.
  12. If you’re ever feeling stressed, just remember: “Olive” it to me to make you laugh.
  13. I went to the doctor and he said I needed to incorporate more healthy fats into my diet. Guess I’ll have an olive my problems.
  14. You know you’ve been eating too many olives when you start seeing pits in your sleep.
  15. I told my friend my favorite type of tree was an olive tree. He said, “Olive you too.”
  16. I’m writing a book about olives. I’m calling it “The Pit and the Pendulum”.
  17. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato…olive-ing on the couch all day.
  18. Why are olives always invited to parties? Because they bring so much to the table!
  19. I tried to write a song about olive oil, but it was too extra virgin.
  20. Olive you! And that’s the pit-th!

Olive QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Olive

  1. Q: What did the olive say at the wedding? A: Olive you!
  2. Q: What’s an olive’s favorite type of music? A: Anything but the blues!
  3. Q: Why are olives always invited to parties? A: They’re always the life of the olive oil!
  4. Q: What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A: A pouch potato…oliving the good life!
  5. Q: Did you hear about the olive who went to the bank? A: It wanted to check its balance…between green and black!
  6. Q: Why did the olive get a job at the spa? A: It was an expert in oil massage!
  7. Q: What did the olive say to the bartender? A: Olive me a martini, and make it dirty!
  8. Q: Why don’t olives share their cars? A: They have carpool lane violations…they only fit two in the front!
  9. Q: What’s an olive’s favorite board game? A: Twister! They’re always getting pitted against each other.
  10. Q: Why did the olive fail its driving test? A: It couldn’t stick to the roundabout!
  11. Q: What’s an olive’s least favorite month? A: Septimber! They get harvested and feel blue.
  12. Q: Why did the olive cross the road? A: To prove it wasn’t chicken!
  13. Q: What do you call an olive with a college degree? A: Well-rounded!
  14. Q: What does an olive use to browse the internet? A: Internet Explorer… it’s slow, but at least it’s not Netscape!
  15. Q: What do you get if you cross a sheep and an olive? A: I don’t know, but it sure would be baaaaaaad to the pit!
  16. Q: Why was the olive feeling stressed? A: It was under a lot of pressure!
  17. Q: Where do sick olives go? A: The olive branch of the hospital!
  18. Q: What did the olive say to the cheese at the party? A: Looking sharp!

Dad Jokes About Olive: Pun-Filled Quips

  1. I tried to make a car out of olives once… Turns out it was an olive complicated.
  2. What did the olive say to the bartender? “Olive another, please!”
  3. My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it. So I took it to the movies. It was a great dad and son outing, olive it.
  4. Why don’t olives share their toys? They’re too olive them.
  5. You know what really grinds my gears? People who pronounce “olive oil” like “oh-live oil.”
  6. I used to hate facial hair…then it just grew on me. Now I olive it!
  7. My wife told me to embrace my mistakes. I’m still holding on tight. I olive a good hug!
  8. Why was the olive feeling so smug? Because it was clearly superior to all the other vegetables!
  9. I won’t eat anything that’s green. Except for olives, of course. I olive them! Get it? Okay, I’ll see myself out…
  10. What did the olive say when he ran into the table? “Olive that one slip by.”
  11. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato! What do you call a hard-working olive? Olive you need is a good work ethic!
  12. You know what the opposite of extra virgin olive oil is? Olive been married.
  13. I just bought a new car that runs on olive oil. It’s a grease lightning!
  14. I met a girl online who loves olives. We really clicked.
  15. Never tell an olive a secret. They’re always pickled.
  16. My friend said he wanted to live life to the fullest. I told him to olive it to the fullest!
  17. What did the olive say to the cheese at the party? “Looking sharp!”
  18. Why did the olive win the race? He was always ahead of the curve!
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Olive Jokes and Puns for Kids

  1. Why didn’t the olive go out to play? Because it was feeling a little pit-iful today!
  2. What did the mama olive say to her little olive before school? Olive you! Have a great day!
  3. What did the olive say to the cheese at the party? It’s brie-lliant to meet you!
  4. Where do olives dance? At the olive branch!
  5. What do you call a very quiet olive? A low-key olive!
  6. What did the olive say when it bumped into the table? “Olive me alone, I’m bruised!”
  7. What did the grumpy olive say to the cheerful cherry? “You’re really pit-ting on a show today!”
  8. Why did the olive lose the race? It ran out of olive oil!
  9. What’s an olive’s favorite song? Anything by the Plain White T’s!
  10. What do you get if you cross an olive with a firefly? I don’t know, but it would be olive-luminating to find out!
  11. What did the olive say when it won the spelling bee? Easy pizzy olive-sy!
  12. Why don’t olives ever win an argument? They just bottle it up inside!
  13. What did the olive say on Valentine’s Day? “Olive you!”
  14. What’s an olive’s favorite board game? Twister! They’re always up for a good twist!
  15. Why did the olive get sent to his room? He kept saying “olive this” and “olive that” and driving everyone crazy!
  16. What do you call a group of olives playing music? An olive orchestra!
  17. What kind of car does an olive drive? An olive green one, of course!
  18. Why did the olive cross the playground? To get to the other slide!

Olive Jokes and Puns for Adults

  1. Why did the olive oil get dumped by the balsamic vinegar? Because they couldn’t agree on a vinaigrette-cation destination!
  2. I tried to explain to my date that I was “polyamorous,” but she just looked confused and said, “I thought you said you were Italian.” Turns out, I’d accidentally brought her to an olive garden instead of a garden party.
  3. My therapist suggested I try “active listening” to improve my relationship with my olive oil. I swear it whispered back, “You’re putting me on salad again, aren’t you?”
  4. Why did the olive join the dating app? It was looking for a “pit” of a partner.
  5. You know, they say olive oil is great for your skin. Personally, I prefer it on my martinis.
  6. What do you call an olive that’s always in trouble? A brined criminal.
  7. I went to a party for olives last night. It was… uneventful. They mostly just stood around in bowls.
  8. Why don’t olives share their secrets? They’re very pit-icular about who they trust.
  9. My doctor told me to incorporate more “healthy fats” into my diet. So, I bought a leather jacket and subscribed to Olive Garden’s email list.
  10. What do you get when you cross an olive with a citrus fruit? A lime-ited edition snack.
  11. My friend tried to smuggle an olive through airport security by hiding it in his ear. He got caught olive-handed.
  12. Why don’t olives ever win arguments? They’re always so pitted against.
  13. I tried to start a business selling olive oil online. It was going swimmingly, until my website crashed. Turns out, I forgot to pay the server.
  14. What’s an olive’s favorite Michael Jackson song? Billie Jean, because it mentions “an olive hue.”
  15. You know, I’m starting to think my olive oil is judging me. Every time I reach for the junk food, I swear I hear a faint “tsk-tsk” coming from the pantry.
  16. My therapist told me to “embrace my flaws,” so I made a salad. I used all the wrinkly, misshapen olives that nobody else wanted.
  17. What do you call an olive that’s really bad at poker? Bluffalo-stuffed.
  18. I saw a sign that said “Olive You” on it. It was cute, but I’m holding out for someone who loves me “a whole bunch.”
  19. Dating is tough, you know? It’s like trying to find the perfect olive in a jar. They’re all green and salty, but only one truly speaks to your soul.
  20. I finally found the perfect pickup line for a jar of olives at the grocery store: “Hey there, you look like you’d be great in a martini. And by martini, I mean my life.”
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Olive Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Other Social Media

  1. Why did the olive oil get in trouble? It kept getting itself into greasy situations. 🫒🚓
  2. Just met an olive who’s a lawyer. Heard he was really good at ap-peal-ing cases. 🫒👨‍⚖️
  3. What’s an olive’s favorite music genre? Anything but the blues! 🫒🎶
  4. My friend said olives are gross. I said, “Olive you!” and walked away. 🫒🚶‍♀️
  5. My therapist told me to use olive oil as a coping mechanism. Said it’d help me chill out. 🫒🧘‍♀️
  6. What’s an olive’s favorite board game? Pictionary, they love drawing blanks! 🫒🎨
  7. My olive tree is so spoiled. I keep telling it, “You’ve been pampered since the branch!” 🫒🌳
  8. Why are olives always invited to parties? Because they’re so well-rounded! 🫒🎉
  9. Met an olive who was feeling under the weather. Turns out, he was feeling a little blue cheese. 🫒🤧
  10. What do you call a group of olives who start a band? The Salty Pits! 🫒🎸
  11. Two olives walk past a bar… you’d think one of them would’ve said, “Hey, olive a martini!” 🍸🫒
  12. I tried to make olive oil from scratch. Turns out, it was a terrible mist-steak. 🫒🥩
  13. My dating life is like a jar of olives… I keep reaching for the good ones, but I end up with a bunch of pimento-stuffed disappointments. 🫒💔
  14. You can tell an olive is having a bad day when… they start feeling salty. 🧂😔
  15. My grandma’s secret to a long life? “A little wine, a little laughter, and never trust a skinny olive.” 👵🍷🫒
  16. Olive you so much, it’s driving me pits! 🫒❤️
  17. Don’t argue with an olive, they’ll always have the last pit-y word. 🫒🗣️
  18. What did the olive say when it won an award? “I guess I’m just one in a million!” 🫒🏆 Bonus Pun: What do you call an olive who’s always the life of the party? The olive-r you know! 🫒🥳

Olive this post? We’re ripened for more!

We hope these olive puns and jokes were worthy of a standing olive-ation! If you’re craving more punny fun, don’t worry, we’ve got you covered. Explore our website for a pit-tastic collection of jokes that will keep you laughing until the olives turn blue!

Rabia Noreen & Team

Rabia Noreen: The Punnovator

Hi, I'm Rabia, the lead punster behind PunnyHub.com, alongside my incredible team. With a background in Comparative Literature, I specialize in turning phrases and crafting chuckles. My team and I are committed to delivering humor that not only entertains but enlightens. Every post we share is designed to sprinkle your day with laughter and a dash of wit. Find your Best Puns & Jokes.

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