99+ Necromancer Jokes & Puns – Bone-Tickling Humor!
💀 Greetings, pun-loving mortals! 💀 Get ready to chuckle with our bone-tickling list of the best Necromancer jokes! 🥳 We’ve got humor to wake the dead, puns to die for, and enough funny quips to keep you laughing for eternity (or at least until your next coffee break). This collection of clever jokes for kids and adults will leave you screaming “more, more!” 🧟 So, grab your scythe, summon your funny bone, and prepare to unearth some skele-fun! 🦴
Top Necromancer Jokes – Best Picks
- Why did the necromancer get fired from his job at the bank? He kept trying to raise the interest rates from the dead.
- What’s a necromancer’s favorite type of music? Anything with a good beat… and you know… bones.
- What’s the one thing a necromancer can’t stand? A skeleton argument. It’s always bone-dry.
- Why are necromancers terrible poker players? They always have a skeletal hand.
- A necromancer walks into a tavern and orders a drink. As he sits there, he hears a high-pitched voice say, “Hey, those jeans look really great on you!” The necromancer looks around but sees nothing. He then returns to his drink thinking nothing more of it. But then, a moment later, he hears the same voice again, “I really like what you’ve done with your hair!” The necromancer, now a little freaked out, still sees nothing. He calmes himself down but then as he believes the voice is gone, he hears, “You know, you’re even more handsome up close!” He slams his fist on the table and yells, “WHO SAID THAT?!” A tiny voice whispers, “It’s me, the ghost in your pants.”
- How do you make a necromancer smoothie? Blend together one cup of despair, two cups of forbidden knowledge, and just a pinch of graveyard dust.
- What did the necromancer say to the unruly skeleton? “Bone appetite, you won’t eat for a week!”
- Why are necromancers always tired? They have a grueling work-life balance… and they work the graveyard shift.
- What do you call a necromancer who only raises insects? A reanimat-ant.
- Why did the necromancer break up with the ghost? She said he was too controlling and always trying to possess her.
- What’s a necromancer’s favorite Shakespeare play? “Much Ado About Skeletons.”
- You know you’ve dated a necromancer when… they try to impress you on a first date by taking you to a cemetery for a picnic.
- Why did the necromancer refuse to go to the doctor? He insisted he felt perfectly fibula.
- What do you call a group of necromancers who start a band? A bone orchestra.
- Never ask a necromancer how their day is going. It’s always the same answer: “Busy, dead tired.”
Clever Necromancer Puns – Best Picks
- Necro-managing my social life: I’m always raising the dead at parties.
- My therapist told me to embrace my mistakes. I guess you could say I’m a necro-man-iac for self-improvement!
- Dating a necromancer is tough. It’s like pulling teeth…literally.
- I tried starting a necromancer boy band, but they were dead on arrival.
- What’s a necromancer’s favorite font? Times New Roamin’.
- The necromancer’s business was struggling, so he opened a bone-anza sale.
- Being a necromancer is so taxing. Death and taxes, am I right?
- Never ask a necromancer what they’re up to. They’ll always say “about to raise the roof.”
- Necromancers are always getting into spats with historians. It’s all about who has the deadlier resume.
- Why did the necromancer go to art school? He wanted to learn how to draw skeletons!
- Necromancers really know how to accessorize. Skulls go with everything!
- What do you call a necromancer who only raises insects? A nec-roach-mancer.
- Life as a necromancer is always busy. So much to do, so many dead to raise.
- The necromancer’s WiFi was down. He had a real bone to pick with the cable company.
- I met a vegan necromancer once. He preferred to raise the steaks.
Funny Necromancer One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Necromancer Jokes
- I met a necromancer who only summons librarians. He likes to raise the dead and the shelves.
- Necromancers really need to learn to relax. They’re always so wound up… like a mummy.
- Dating a necromancer is tough. Sometimes you just need a shoulder to cry on, and all he’s got is a pelvis.
- A necromancer walks into a tavern and orders a drink. As he’s paying, he accidentally drops a handful of loose bones. “Sorry,” he says to the bartender, “that’s just some spare change.”
- What’s the difference between a necromancer and a pro wrestler? One raises the dead, the other beats the living dead.
- Necromancers have the worst marketing campaigns. All their ads are so… lifeless.
- You know you’re a necromancer when your idea of a hot date is digging up dinner and a movie.
- My necromancer friend got kicked out of medical school. Turns out “reanimating cadavers” isn’t a valid surgical technique.
- The necromancer’s job interview was going badly until he mentioned his unique skillset. Suddenly, they were dying to hire him.
- Being a necromancer is like being a manager, except your employees are always complaining about their decomposing benefits package.
- My necromancer friend is strangely picky about his coffee. He says it has to be “freshly ground, not freshly buried.”
- The necromancer’s fashion advice? “Always accessorize with a femur or two. It really ties the outfit together.”
- What’s a necromancer’s least favorite food? Anything with preservatives. He prefers his meals “fresh from the crypt.”
- A necromancer walks into a bar with a skeleton under his arm. He says to the bartender, “Give me two pints, please. One for me, and one for the road.”
- What’s a necromancer’s favorite social media platform? Instabones.
Necromancer QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Necromancer
- Q: What’s a necromancer’s favorite type of coffee? A: De-caff-inated!
- Q: Why did the necromancer get kicked out of the library? A: He kept trying to check out books beyond due date.
- Q: What’s a necromancer’s favorite Shakespeare play? A: Hamlet, of corpse!
- Q: What do you call a necromancer who’s also a vegan? A: Someone who really raises the steaks… for everyone else.
- Q: Why was the necromancer’s house always cold? A: He liked to keep it at a deathly chill.
- Q: How do you tell if a necromancer is lying? A: His lips are moving… even though they shouldn’t be.
- Q: Why did the necromancer get fired from his job at the bank? A: Too many skeletons in his closet… literally.
- Q: What’s a necromancer’s favorite dating app? A: Final Tinder.
- Q: What’s a necromancer’s favorite type of music? A: Anything with a good beat… and no pulse.
- Q: Why did the necromancer fail his driving test? A: He kept turning his head to look at the living.
- Q: What’s a necromancer’s favorite board game? A: Risk. He’s got an army for that.
- Q: What do you call a necromancer who’s bad at their job? A: A lazy bones.
- Q: Why don’t you ever see necromancers at the beach? A: They prefer to avoid the decomposition associated with sunbathing.
- Q: How does a necromancer get rich quick? A: He raises the stakes in a poker game… literally.
- Q: What do you call a group of necromancers who form a band? A: A bone-a-fide, spine-tingling, graveyard smash!
Dad Jokes About Necromancer: Pun-Filled Quips
- I met a necromancer who only summons skeletons of extinct animals. He’s got a real bone to pick with the world.
- You know why necromancers always look so tired? Because they have a grave responsibility.
- A necromancer walks into a tavern and orders a drink. As he’s paying, he accidentally drops a few bones. He just shrugs and says, “Don’t worry, it’s just loose change.”
- Being a necromancer must be tough. Imagine having so many skeletons in your closet!
- Necromancer walks into a library. Librarian says, “Sorry, we don’t have any books on how to raise the dead.” Necromancer replies, “No problem, I’ll just wing it.”
- Heard they’re making a dating app for necromancers. It’s called “Skullcrusher.”
- You can tell a necromancer is a good dancer because they really know how to move a body.
- Took a course on necromancy, it was surprisingly easy. Turns out it’s a very laid-back profession.
- My son told me he wants to be a necromancer for Halloween. I said, “Sure, but you’re on your own with finding the right outfit.”
- What do you call a necromancer who only raises ghosts of comedians? A dead-ication to his craft!
- A necromancer wins the lottery. What does he buy? A grave new everything!
- Never argue with a necromancer. They always have the last word. And sometimes, the last laugh.
Necromancer Jokes and Puns for Kids
- Why did the necromancer get sent to his room? He was caught raising a little too much cain!
- What’s a necromancer’s favorite type of music? Anything with a good beat!
- What do you call a necromancer who’s always cold? A shiver sorcerer!
- What’s a necromancer’s favorite school subject? Hissss-tory, of course!
- Why did the necromancer bring a ladder to the graveyard? He heard there were spirits in high places!
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Harry. Harry who? Harry up, it’s time to go raise some skeletons!
- What do you call a lazy necromancer’s spells? Bone idle!
- Why didn’t the ghost trust the necromancer? He heard he was a real bone-head!
- Teacher: “Can anyone name a famous historical figure?” Little Timmy: “The Grim Reaper?”
- Why don’t necromancers ever win staring contests? Their eyes are always on the after-life!
- You know you’re friends with a necromancer when… their idea of a party animal involves digging one up!
- How do necromancers greet each other? “Long time no see, literally!”
- What’s a necromancer’s favorite type of tree? A bonesai tree!
- Never play hide-and-seek with a necromancer… They always raise the stakes!
Necromancer Jokes and Puns for Elders
- Why did the necromancer get kicked out of the retirement home? He kept trying to start a bridge club, but nobody wanted to be his partner… they’d rather be his opponent.
- A necromancer walks into a bar looking awfully distraught. “What’s wrong?” asks the bartender. The necromancer sighs, “Man, it’s these Millennials! They just don’t understand the value of delayed gratification.”
- You know you’re getting old when… the only reason the necromancer is interested in you is for your vintage bones.
- The necromancer’s dating profile was pretty bare-bones. Literally, it was just a picture of a skeleton holding a rose.
- Why are necromancers such bad liars? Because their stories are always full of holes… skeletal ones, to be exact.
- Ever notice how necromancers only seem to hang out in cemeteries? Talk about living in the past.
- My friend said his new job as a necromancer’s assistant was pretty “dead-end.” I told him, “Don’t be so negative. You’ve got nowhere to go but up…or should I say, back up?”
- They say necromancy is a dying art. But honestly, I think it’s already dead.
- What’s a necromancer’s favorite type of music? Anything with a good beat… especially if they can get up and dance to it.
- A necromancer is having trouble with his latest project. He sighs and says to his apprentice, “I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I followed the instructions to the letter! It said ‘Bring to a boil, then add the bones.'”
- I tried to start a business with a necromancer once. Bad idea. Turns out, their whole business model is based on “dead capital.”
- Retirement is tough, but at least I have time for hobbies! Just took up necromancy… turns out, summoning the dead is cheaper than cable TV.
- My grandkids are so afraid of my necromancer neighbor. They think he’s going to steal their souls. I just tell them, “Don’t worry, honey. He’s got no room left.”
- What do you call a necromancer who’s lost their touch? Bonely challenged.
Necromancer Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media
- Why did the Necromancer get kicked out of the Orchestra? He kept trying to raise the deadwood section.
- A Necromancer walks into a tavern and orders a drink. As he’s paying, a pile of bones animates next to him and says, “Hey, can you get me one too? It’s on the house!” The bartender groans and says, “Sorry, we don’t serve spirits.”
- My Necromancer friend told me he’s seeing someone new. I was skeptical at first, but then I realized… He always was good at rekindling old flames.
- I wanted to learn Necromancy, but it turned out to be a dying art. Get it? Dying? … I’ll see myself out.
- Just met a Necromancer who’s also a vegan. They only summon the undead of herbivores. He calls it “Ethical Necromancy.”
- What do you call a Necromancer with a backlog of work? A procrastinator of the dead.
- My therapist told me to face my fears, so I went to a Necromancer’s house. Turns out, my fear is actually the living dead.
- A Necromancer and a Medium walk into a bar… It was awkward at first, then a huge debate broke out over who got to speak to the dead people.
- Never ask a Necromancer how their day is going. They always answer, “Dead tired.”
- What’s a Necromancer’s favorite type of coffee? De-caf-finated… because they’re already hyped up on the after-life!
- Why was the Necromancer’s apartment always so messy? He could never put anything away for good.
- Just saw a Necromancer arguing with a customer service rep. He was yelling, “I told you, I want a full refund! This skeleton is missing a rib!”
- What’s a Necromancer’s favorite dating app? Tinder… but for ghouls.
- My Necromancer friend keeps trying to convince me to join her profession. She says it offers great death benefits.
- What’s a Necromancer’s favorite Shakespeare play? Hamlet, of corpse.
Bone-afide Laughs: ‘Til Death Do Us Part!
Well, bone-jour there! We’ve reached the end of our skeletal stand-up routine. Hope these necromancer jokes didn’t leave you feeling too petrified. If you’re still dying for more laughs, creep on over to our website for a grave amount of hilarious puns and jokes. We promise, it’s to die for!
