91+ Lotion Jokes & Puns: You’ll Be “Moist” Impressed!
Get ready to laugh your 🤣 socks off! 🧦 We’ve got a treat for you: a list of the best lotion jokes and puns that are sure to moisturize your funny bone! 🦴 😄 Whether you’re a kid or just a kid at heart, this list of clever puns and humor is sure to leave you feeling soft and supple with laughter. So, lather up your senses of humor, and let’s dive in! 💦 😂
Top Lotion Jokes – Best Picks
- Why did the lotion get fired from its job at the spa? It rubbed everyone the wrong way! 😂
- I told my friend his expensive face cream was just glorified lotion. He looked mortified. 😆
- You know a lotion has gone bad when… It starts telling you to seize the day and follow your dreams. 🤔
- What’s a lotion’s favorite genre of music? Emo-llients! 😄
- What’s a lotion’s least favorite chore? The dishes – they hate getting their hands dry! 👐
- What do you call a lotion that’s always getting into trouble? A hand-ful! 😏
- My lotion bottle said “for external use only”… So I took it outside! Turns out, it just wanted some fresh air. 💨
- Why did the lotion break up with the sunscreen? They couldn’t see eye-to-eye on SPF! 😎
- You can tell it’s time to throw out your lotion when… It starts developing a five-year plan. 📅
- How do you fix a cracked lotion bottle? With a little hand-y work! 💪
- I tried writing a song about lotion… But I kept hitting a dry spell. 🎶
- What did the lotion say to the dry skin? “We should just hang out – no pressure!” 😉
- My friend told me his new job was making hand lotion… I asked him if it was a fulfilling career. 🖐️
- Life is like a bottle of lotion… It goes on smoothly, but sometimes you just need a little push to reach your full potential. 🙌
Clever Lotion Puns – Best Picks
- What did the lotion say to the dry skin? “We should hang out sometime. You seem a little rough around the edges.”
- Why did the lotion get a job at the bank? It heard they had excellent “moisturizing” opportunities.
- My dermatologist friend keeps telling me to use this specific lotion. I guess you could say he’s really “emollient” about it.
- I tried writing a song about lotion… but it all just rubbed me the wrong way.
- I told my friend her new lotion smelled like wealth and success. She said, “Are you shea butter kidding me?”
- My lotion bottle is always half-empty. I guess it’s just a glass-half-full kind of moisturizer.
- The lotion was feeling pretty confident. It claimed to be the most “appealing” one on the market.
- That lotion has been around for ages! It’s practically an “ointment” of history.”
- The lotion bottle broke open in my suitcase. What a “moist” unfortunate situation.
- My skin is so dry, I need to hire a private investigator to find me some lotion. This case is getting “desperate.”
- I tried to make a lotion out of avocado, but it was too “extra virgin” for my skin.
- Don’t tell anyone, but I think my lotion is sentient. It keeps telling me to “apply liberally.”
- The lotion auditioned for a play, but the director said it lacked “character.”
- What’s the lotion’s favorite genre of music? “Smooth” jazz, of course.
- That lotion commercial was so cheesy, it should have come with a side of crackers and a “skin-ful” of wine.”
Funny Lotion One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Lotion Jokes
- What did the lotion say to the dry skin? “Let’s get together and make things smoother.”
- Feeling rough? My therapist says lotion is cheaper than therapy.
- I used to hate hand lotion, but then it grew on me.
- Don’t be afraid to use a little elbow grease… and follow it up with some actual lotion. Your elbows deserve both!
- Life is too short to use cheap lotion… it’s just not worth the extra friction.
- My New Year’s resolution was to be less rough around the edges… guess I need more lotion.
- Why did the lotion get fired from its job? It rubbed everyone the wrong way.
- My love for you is like a high-quality lotion: long-lasting and deeply moisturizing.
- Just bought some vintage lotion from the ’90s… it’s definitely past its prime.
- What’s a lotion’s favorite music genre? R&B… Rhythm & Balm.
- The dermatologist’s advice? All you need is lotion… and a small loan of a million dollars.
- Why don’t they have lotion dispensers on airplanes? It creates too much turbulence.
- You know you’ve been using too much lotion when you leave a grease trail everywhere you go.
- I put lotion on my sleeping bag… it’s now a slumber balm.
- Lotion: It’s not just for dry skin, it’s for living your smoothest life.
Lotion QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Lotion
- Q: What did the lotion say to the dry skin? A: “Hey there, rough patch! Let’s get you feeling smooth again.”
- Q: What’s a lotion’s favorite genre of music? A: Anything but heavy metal – it can’t stand being greasy!
- Q: Why did the lotion get fired from its job at the sunscreen company? A: They said it couldn’t handle the heat!
- Q: Did you hear about the lotion that won an award? A: It was a real ‘hand-ovation’!
- Q: Why don’t lotions like arguments? A: They always try to smooth things over.
- Q: What do you get when you combine lotion and a citrus fruit? A: A skin-creamable!
- Q: My friend says I use way too much lotion. What should I say? A: “Don’t get your skin in a twist!”
- Q: Why are lotions such good listeners? A: They always absorb what you tell them!
- Q: What does a sophisticated lotion wear? A: A coat of many scents!
- Q: What did the lotion say after it proposed to the body butter? A: “I can’t imagine my life without you. Let’s moisturize together forever!”
- Q: What’s a lotion’s favorite board game? A: Twister! It loves getting in all the cracks.
- Q: Why did the lotion cross the road? A: To get to the dry side!
- Q: Why did the lotion fail its driving test? A: It kept getting caught speeding on the slippery roads!
- Q: What’s a lotion’s favorite pickup line? A: “Hey there, feeling dry? I can change that.”
Dad Jokes About Lotion: Pun-Filled Quips
- Why did the lotion get fired from its job at the sunscreen factory? Because it didn’t screen well under pressure!
- I tried to make a lotion pun, but… It just rubbed me the wrong way.
- What does a ghost put on its dry skin? Boo-urns & Hauthorn Lotion!
- This lotion is scented “fresh linen.” Now all I need is… a dryer sheet I can rub on my body.
- Did you hear about the lotion made from whale mucus? It’s really caught on!
- My wife told me to rub lotion on her face so she wouldn’t get wrinkles. Now her hands are really smooth.
- This new lotion is supposed to make me irresistible to women. Well, it’s definitely not working on my wife.
- Two lotions walk past a rough patch of skin. One says, “Hold on, I’ve got this!” What a smooth move!
- My dermatologist told me to use lotion daily. Guess he’s really milking this for all it’s worth!
- What’s the difference between lotion and potion? One makes your skin soft, the other gets you fired from Hogwarts.
- Someone stole my special moisturizing lotion! The police are looking for any smooth criminals.
- What’s a scarecrow’s favorite lotion? Straw-berry scented, of course!
- This lotion ad said it would take 10 years off my skin. But now I can’t remember where I put it!
- My wife said I should try this new age-defying lotion. But honestly, I don’t see what all the hype is about.
Lotion Jokes and Puns for Kids
- Why did the lotion get in trouble at school? Because it kept getting into sticky situations!
- What did the mom lotion say to the baby lotion? “Let’s stick together!”
- Why did the lotion blush? It saw the skin it was going to be applied to!
- What’s a lotion’s favorite game to play? Tag, because they’re always it!
- What did the lotion say to the dry skin? “Hey there, feeling rough? Let me smooth things over!”
- What’s a lotion’s favorite dance move? The cha-cha-chapstick!
- My friend said he was going to start making his own lotion… I told him, “Don’t bottle up your feelings!”
- Why did the lotion fail its driving test? Because it kept slipping off the steering wheel!
- I used to hate lotion, but then… it grew on me!
- What’s a lotion’s favorite type of music? Anything smooth jazz!
- Never make lotion mad… It holds grudges forever!
- Why don’t lotions tell secrets? Because they always rub people the wrong way!
Lotion Jokes and Puns for Elders
- Why did the dermatologist always carry a notepad? To jot down lotion-y ideas, of course!
- My friend started a lotion business for ghosts. I told him, “Good luck finding customers, that’s a very transparent market.”
- I tried writing a haiku about lotion. It was surprisingly hard to get the right viscosity.
- My doctor told me I have dry skin. I said, “Doc, you should’ve seen me in high school!”
- Why did the lotion break up with the soap? It said, “I’m feeling too emulsified with this relationship.”
- I went to a museum of antique toiletries yesterday. I saw a lotion bottle from the 1920s. The label said: “Guaranteed to make your skin feel like a flapper’s knees!”
- What do you get when you combine lotion with a tropical fruit? A skin-tillating smoothie!
- My friend is making a movie about competing lotion brands. Sounds like a real soap opera to me.
- Don’t tell anyone, but I think my anti-aging lotion is actually sentient. I caught it checking itself out in the mirror this morning.
- My dermatologist told me to avoid harsh chemicals on my skin. So, I’m only using lotion that went to a really good school.
- I put sunscreen on my head this morning. I’m hoping for a bright idea later today.
- What kind of lotion do they use at the North Pole? Santa-tizer.
- I just bought a new brand of moisturizer, it promises to take ten years off your skin. I can’t wait to see what I looked like as a baby!
- Retirement is great! I finally have time for all the important things in life, like applying lotion in a leisurely manner.
Lotion Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media
- My dermatologist told me to apply lotion liberally. I guess I’m now a lotion influencer. 💁♀️ #skincarestruggles
- Just bought a self-aware bottle of lotion. The label says “You know you want to rub me all over.” 😳 #smoothoperator #awkward
- My dry skin is so bad, I’m thinking of changing my name to “Lotion.” That way people will be obligated to rub me the right way. 😏 #desperatetimes #foreveralone
- Finally found a lotion that’s fragrance-free, cruelty-free, and guilt-free. It’s called… water. 💧 #lifehacks #hydrationiskey
- Why did the lotion break up with the soap? Because they couldn’t see eye to eye on personal hygiene! 🧼💔 #relationshipgoals #cleanbreak
- What do you call a lotion bottle that’s always empty? A dry subject! 😂 #punny #sorrynotsorry
- Got kicked out of the zoo for trying to feed the lotion to the chapped zebra. Apparently, “sharing is caring” doesn’t apply to zoo exhibits. 🦓🚫 #wellthathappened #oops
- My lotion says it’s unscented, but it smells like disappointment and missed deadlines. 😩 #adulting #thestruggleisreal
- Found my soulmate. Turns out, it was just a really good bottle of lotion this whole time. 🥰 #selflove #treatyourself
- Went to a lotion party last night. It was… well-moisturized? 🎉 #punny #illseemyselfout
Lotion up! These puns were skin-credible.
We hope these lotion jokes didn’t leave your funny bone feeling too dry! If you’re thirsty for more humor, be sure to moisturize your mind by exploring the rest of our punny website. You’ll find a whole apothecary of jokes to keep you laughing all day long!
