108+ Cider Jokes & Puns: You’ll Fall Hard For!
Get ready to laugh your apples off because this post is bursting with the best cider jokes and puns! 😂🍎 We’ve got a hilarious list of clever wordplay and fruity humor, perfect for kids and adults alike. Whether you like your jokes sweet or dry, this collection is sure to tickle your funny bone. So, grab a glass (or sippy cup!), get comfy, and prepare for some cider-ific laughter! 😄
Top Cider Jokes – Best Picks
- Why did the cider blush? Because it saw the apple pie! 😉
- What’s a pirate’s favorite type of cider? Lootin’ Pear! 🏴☠️🍐
- I tried to make a cider candle once… It burned out too quickly. Turns out it was scented with thyme. 😅🕯️
- What do you get when you mix cider with a racehorse? A slow trot to the bathroom! 🐎💨
- How do trees get on the internet? They log in with their apple cider-names! 🌳💻
- You’re looking a little stressed… Have you tried apple-ly relaxing with a glass of cider? 😌🍎
- Did you hear about the cider thief? He was caught red-handed! …Or should I say, apple-handed? 🍎🖐️
- Why don’t they serve cider at banks? Because they don’t want a bunch of tipsy tellers! 🏦🥴
- What’s a vampire’s favorite cider? Bloody Good, of course! 🧛♂️🩸
- A cider walked into a bar and said, “Hey, got any work?” The bartender replied, “Sorry, we don’t serve minors!” 🔞🚫
- What did the cider say to the apple? “You’re the apple of my chai-der!” 😉❤️
- I wanted to open a cider brewery called “The Fermenting Idea”… But I couldn’t find a good yeast for it! 🤔🦠
- What’s the most intellectual type of cider? Apple-solutely cider-ful! 🤓🍎
- My friend said he was going to start a cider diet… I told him, “Good luck! I’ve heard it’s hard to stick with.” 💪🍎
Clever Cider Puns – Best Picks
- “I tried to make a cider candle, but it ended up smelling a bit… waxy.” (Get it? Wax cider?)
- “This cider is so good, it’s got me feeling all warm and… ferment-inside.” (Feel that inner warmth!)
- “What do you call a cider that’s been left out in the sun? A hot toddy in the making.” (Todd-ally hilarious!)
- “What’s a pirate’s favorite type of cider? Apple-jack, of course!” (Ahoy, matey, that’s a good one!)
- “I told the bartender, ‘Make it a double cider, I’m feeling extra thirsty.’ He said, ‘Alright, but don’t go getting any cider-eas.'” (Don’t get any funny ideas yourself!)
- “I only drink cider in the fall… it’s a seasonal cider-ation.” (A pun for all seasons!)
- “This cider is so good, it’s unreal… it’s like something out of a cider-ella story.” (A fairy tale in a glass!)
- “My friend tried to make cider in his bathtub. I guess you could say it was a… bath cider.” (Let’s hope he cleaned that tub!)
- “What’s a ghost’s favorite cider? Apple-arition cider!” (Boo-tiful and spooky!)
- “Why don’t they serve cider at banks? Because they don’t want a bank cider!” (Hopefully they have better security than that!)
- “The cider maker was so successful, he bought himself a fancy car. They say he’s got good cider-mobile taste.” (Cruising in style!)
- “I asked the waiter for a recommendation, and he said, ‘Try the cider, it’s berry good.’ I said, ‘Really? Which berry?'” (The classic bait and switch!)
- “Cider is like a good friend… always there to apple-ease you.” (Cheers to cider and friendship!)
Funny Cider One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Cider Jokes
- I tried to make apple cider in the bathtub but I only got as far as the apple cider-ation stage.
- This cider is amazing! Did you press the apples yourself, or did you hire a cider-man?
- My friend told me he only drinks hard cider in the library…said he enjoys a good cider story.
- I wouldn’t say I’m obsessed with apple cider, but I drink it every cider-day.
- I entered a cider-making competition, but someone stole my recipe. The cops are looking for a cider thief.
- I wanted to buy an apple and a pear cider, but the guy at the counter said they only sold them in cider pairs.
- My new cider business is really taking off…just waiting for my loan to get app-cidered.
- I went to a cider-tasting party last night. It was a really hard cider life.
- I just bought 50 bottles of apple cider and a donkey. I’m starting my own cider-delivery service.
- Did you hear about the cider-making competition? It was a very close call, but in the end, it was a tie-cider.
- Always be nice to your local cider maker, they have all the ferment-tation secrets.
- Never argue with a cider brewer, they always have a good point (of sale).
- You really shouldn’t drink and cider-bike. Leave that to the professionals.
Cider QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Cider
- Q: Why did the cider blush? A: Because it saw the apple pie looking at it! 🍎
- Q: What’s a cider’s favorite type of music? A: Anything but pulp fiction! 🎶
- Q: What did the cider say to the apple after they won the race? A: We really crushed it! 🏆
- Q: Why did the cider go to the doctor? A: It wasn’t feeling very well-fermented. 🤧
- Q: What do you call a cider that’s always in trouble? A: A bad apple-solutely rotten! 👿
- Q: What do you call a cider that tries to act tough? A: A hard-core apple juice, but don’t worry, it’s all bark and no bite! 💪
- Q: Why did the cider get kicked out of the party? A: It was getting completely smashed! 🎉
- Q: What do you call a cider with a bad attitude? A: A real sour apple! 😠
- Q: What did the cider say to the orange juice at the bar? A: Hey baby, are you from concentrate, ’cause you’re lookin’ sweet! 😉
- Q: Why don’t ciders do well in school? A: They’re easily distracted and always get graded on a curve! 🏫
- Q: What’s a cider’s favorite board game? A: Apple-solutely anything with dice! 🎲
- Q: How do you make a cider cry? A: You take away its “cider” (side). 😢
- Q: Did you hear about the cider who went on a diet? A: It lost a few ounces, but it was still pretty pear-fect! 🍐
Dad Jokes About Cider: Pun-Filled Quips
- Why did the cider blush? Because it saw the salad dressing! (Get it? Cider dressing!)
- I told my wife she was fermenting trouble when she put the cider outside. Turns out, I was right!
- You know, this cider is really working. I can’t cider my own thoughts anymore!
- My friend tried to make hard cider in his bathtub once…it was a hard cider life.
- Did you hear about the cider that went to art school? It’s a real masterpiece!
- What does a glass of cider say when it’s cold? “Brrr… apple a day keeps the doctor away!”
- This heat is unbearable! I need to go somewhere cool and relax. You cider what I mean?
- I tried to make cider with pears once… turned out it was just pear pressure.
- My son asked me to buy him a bottle of cider “for a friend.” I said, “Sure, but don’t get any cider-ous ideas!”
- This cider is absolutely divine! I think I’m in cider heaven.
- What happens when you tell a secret in a cider house? It gets cider-spread around!
- I thought about opening a cider brewery…but I just couldn’t handle the pressure.
- What’s a pirate’s favorite type of cider? Why, apple cider, of cors-aaarrr!
Cider Jokes and Puns for Kids
- Why did the apple blush when it saw the cider press? Because it knew it was going to be squeezed!
- What did the baby apple say to the mommy apple before getting turned into cider? “I apple-solutely love you!”
- What’s an apple’s favorite ride at the amusement park? The cider-coaster!
- How do you fix a cracked cider jug? With apple-ogies!
- Why didn’t the cider get invited to the party? It was always getting tipsy!
- What do you call it when two cider apples fall in love? A pear-fect match!
- Where do apples go on vacation? To see the cider of the world!
- What’s an apple’s favorite type of music? Anything but hard cider!
- Why did the apple cross the road? To prove he wasn’t chicken…he was going to make cider!
- What does a cider salesman do at work? He makes apple-solutely sure everyone gets a drink!
- Why did the cider get lost? Because it couldn’t cider way!
- What did the grandpa apple say to the little apple seed? “One day, you’ll be big enough to make ciderful drinks!”
- What’s an apple’s favorite letter? “C” – it’s the start of cider!
Cider Jokes and Puns for Elders
- Why did the elder apple refuse to go to the cider mill party? He said, “I’ve been juiced enough in my life.”
- You know you’re getting old when… “getting carded” means they check your AARP card before selling you cider.
- I tried to make hard cider in my retirement. Turns out I’m better at making… soft regrets.
- Doctor says I need to limit my sugar intake. Guess I’ll just have to switch to… dry cider and bitter tears.
- My retirement plan is like a good cider… It takes time to mature, and might leave me with a slight headache.
- I used to think cider was just for autumn, but now I realize… every season is a good season for a stiff drink.
- What do you call a group of old friends drinking cider around a fireplace? A fermenting circle.
- I’m at that age where I can’t tell if my joints are aching or… if it’s just the hard cider talking.
- My doctor told me to incorporate more fermented foods into my diet. Guess it’s time to… stock up on cider and sauerkraut.
- Retirement is about finding the simple pleasures in life… like a perfectly crisp cider on a cool evening.
- What’s the difference between me and this glass of cider? The cider gets more desirable with age. (said with a wink)
- They say an apple a day keeps the doctor away… But let’s be real, a cider a day is more my speed now.
- My grandkids think I’m watching boring old movies, but really… I’m just trying to find the apple pressing scene in “War and Peace.”
- They say money can’t buy happiness… But it can buy a lifetime supply of award-winning cider, which is basically the same thing.
- Remember when we used to sneak sips of cider? Now we sneak naps after finishing the bottle.
Cider Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media
- I tried to make a cider candle, but all I got was a wick-ed scent. 🕯️ #ciderfail
- My friend said he wanted to open a cider brewery in space. I told him to planet later. 🚀 #ciderdreams
- Why don’t they serve cider at the library? Because they’re afraid someone will “shush” the fermentation! 🤫 #ciderhumor
- You know you’ve had too much cider when…you start apple-auding for the orchard choir. 🎤 #cidernight
- This cider is so good, it’s like it was pressed by angels. Or maybe just really strong dudes. 💪😇 #ciderlover
- I’m not saying this cider is strong…but it’s starting to give me apple-lucinations. 😵💫 #ciderlife
- My love for cider is like a fine wine… constantly fermenting. 🍷 #cideraddict
- Just tried a new cider called “Gravity’s Delight.” Turns out, what goes down must come up. 🤢 #cidertruths
- Cider makers are so dramatic… always talking about the next “batch” they’re working on. 🎭 #ciderdrama
- Why did the cider blush? Because it saw the salad dressing! 😏 #ciderromance
- Life is like a glass of cider. Sometimes sweet, sometimes dry, and occasionally leaves you with a sticky mess. 🎉 #ciderwisdom
- Cider: Proof that even bad apples can have a good time. 😈 #ciderphilosophy
- Don’t worry, be cidery! 😎 #ciderlife
Cider-fully Done! Now Go Forth and Spread the Applecations!
We’ve reached the bottom of the barrel, folks, but don’t despair – there’s plenty more punny goodness where that came from! If you’re still thirsty for laughs, be sure to check out the rest of our website. We’ve got puns and jokes fresher than a crisp apple cider on a fall day!
