91+ George-ous Jokes & Puns: You’ve Found ‘Em!
Get ready to chuckle, guffaw, and maybe even snort into your morning coffee because we’ve got a list of George jokes that are anything but a “Jorge”-ous bore! 😂 This collection of puns and funny stories, perfect for kids and adults alike, is sure to tickle your funny bone. From clever wordplay to side-splitting punchlines, these jokes about George are among the best and are sure to have you rolling on the floor laughing (or at least cracking a smile). Ready to unleash your inner comedian? 🤣 Let’s dive into the laughter pool! 🏊♀️
Top George Jokes – Best Picks
- Why don’t they play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs. So many, in fact, you could say it’s George-ous!
- Did you hear about the clumsy paleontologist? He tripped and fell into the dinosaur exhibit. Luckily, he only fell in with the George-osaurus!
- Why did George wash his car with orange juice? Because he liked the George-peel!
- What do you call a camel with three humps? Humphrey, Humpfree, and George!
- What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A George-ot!
- I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now. Still can’t say the same for George, though…he’s always getting into trouble!
- What’s brown and sticky? A stick. What’s George and sticky? George ate a stick!
- Why was the equal sign so humble? They knew they weren’t less than or greater than anyone else. They were George-nerous that way.
- Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Don’t worry, he woke up! Turns out it was just a bad dream, almost a George-mare!
- Why is being a pirate so addictive? They say once ye lose yer first hand, ye get George-gettable!
- You know, money talks… But all mine ever says is “George-bye!”
Clever George Puns – Best Picks
- George Costanza walked into a bar with a sock puppet. The bartender said, “Hey, your drink’s getting low.” George replied, “Don’t talk to me, talk to my hand-le of rum!” 🧦🥃
- A bakery named their newest pastry after George Clooney. They say it’s selling like hot “Clooney” buns! 🥐🔥
- George Washington was known for his honesty, but did you know he also loved to dance? He was the Father of the Boogie! 🕺🇺🇸
- George Straight was feeling under the weather. He went to the doctor and the doctor said, “Well, looks like you’ve got a touch of the Strait flu!” 🤒🎤
- George Lucas was surprisingly bad at playing poker. Every time he tried to bluff, you could see it in his “Force”! 🌌🃏
- George Orwell wrote a book about a farm run entirely by robots. He called it “Animal Farmville 2: Electric Boogaloo.” 🤖🚜
- George Harrison was a stickler for grammar. He’d correct your sentences “While My Guitar Gently Weeps.” 🎸✍️
- George Foreman opened a seafood restaurant. The most popular dish? Grilled “Foreman” clams! 🦞👨🍳
- George Michael was a huge fan of baseball. He always rooted for the “Faith”-ful! ⚾🎤
- George Clooney’s favorite type of cheese? You guessed it, it’s “mascarpone”-ly! 🧀🇮🇹
- George Washington once threw a silver dollar across the Delaware River… then immediately regretted it, muttering, “I can’t believe I “Washingtoned” a dollar!” 😔🪙
- George Carlin was known for his dark humor. He once said, “Death is just life’s way of telling you you’ve been fired… from existence!” 💀🎤
- George Clooney and George Harrison decided to start a band. They called themselves “The Curious Georges.” 🎤🎸🐒
- Boy George was feeling under the weather. When asked how he was feeling, he simply whispered, “It’s a “Karma” chameleon, changing colors in my head.” 🦎🎤
Funny George One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny George Jokes
- George refused to go to the costume party because he said it was “too much of a dress George affair.”
- I used to have a friend named George who bred pigeons… I guess you could say he was racing George.
- Why did George bring a ladder to the bar? He heard they were having a drink special: beers George the house!
- George’s friends are worried about his obsession with collecting different types of dirt. He’s really gone off the deep George.
- Never start a conversation with George about furniture restoration. He’ll go on for ages about his love for re-Georging.
- Met a guy yesterday who claims to be the world’s strongest man. I said, “Prove it, George me off my feet!”
- George got lost in the woods while searching for mushrooms. He was later found in a truffle-ing George situation.
- George started a career as a motivational speaker. He’s really found his calling George people up.
- Why did George get kicked out of the library? He kept shouting, “This book is garbage! Absolute George!”
- George is such a positive thinker. He always looks at the glass half full… of George-ous wine!
- George’s attempt at stand-up comedy was a disaster. He really bombed on that George.
- George spilled coffee all over his new suit. It’s a good thing it was a George-io Armani, easy to clean!
- George took up painting landscapes, but he’s only interested in painting fields. You could say he’s found his George-raphic niche.
- George went to art school and fell in love with sculpting. Now he says his life truly has a porpoise, or should I say, George-poise.
- Don’t tell George any secrets. That guy couldn’t George a thought to save his life!
George QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about George
- Q: Why did George bring a ladder to the bar? A: He heard the drinks were on the house!
- Q: What did George say to his computer when it was running slowly? A: “C’mon, Georgie-porgie, speed it up!”
- Q: Why did George get lost in the library? A: He took a turn for the George Orwell section!
- Q: How is George like a broken pencil? A: He’s pointless! (Bonus points if George actually IS known for being a little aimless!)
- Q: George walks into a restaurant and orders alphabet soup. What does he say when the waiter asks if everything is okay? A: “It’s got everything but the George!”
- Q: Why is it so hard to play hide-and-seek with George? A: Because nobody ever looks for him! (A bit self-deprecating if it’s ABOUT George).
- Q: Why don’t they let George play poker in the jungle? A: He keeps raising the steaks!
- Q: George went to the doctor feeling like he was invisible. What did the doctor say? A: “I can’t see the problem.”
- Q: Why did the scarecrow win an award? A: Because he was outstanding in his George! (Field… get it?)
- Q: What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A: A pouch potato… like George! (Again, funniest if George IS a bit lazy)
- Q: Where does George keep his armies? A: In his sleevies!
- Q: I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying. What was George’s job there? A: He was the manager! (Implying incompetence in a light way).
- Q: Why did George become a gardener? A: Because his career was going to pot!
- Q: What does George call his pet zebra? A: Whatever it wants! (Because zebras can’t understand English… silly!)
Dad Jokes About George: Pun-Filled Quips
- Why did George bring a ladder to his therapy session? He wanted to talk about his step-father.
- Why couldn’t George concentrate on his carpentry? He had too many distractions sawing into his time.
- What did everyone say about George’s performance in the school play? He really stole the show!
- I heard George took up beekeeping. He’s really buzzy about it.
- Why is George such a good artist? He’s a real sketch!
- Where does George go when he wants to relax? To his man cave, of quartz!
- George said he wanted to be a comedian, but then he changed his mind. Guess he didn’t have the guts.
- Why is George such a terrible gambler? He’s always bluffing.
- What do you call it when George takes a long time to make a decision? He’s just georging the situation.
- Why did George fail his driving test? He kept turning right when he should’ve turned George.
- What’s George’s favorite type of music? Anything but organ music – he hates that!
- Why is George such a good historian? He’s always looking back at the past.
- George started a band, but it didn’t last long. They were always arguing.
- Why is George so good at solving mysteries? He always gets to the bottom of things.
George Jokes and Puns for Kids
- Why did George bring a ladder to his computer? Because he heard the internet was down!
- What did George’s mom say when he wouldn’t finish his vegetables? “George, I’m not lion! Eat your greens!”
- Why is George such a good artist? Because he knows how to draw George-ous pictures!
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? George. George who? George your hair looks amazing today!
- Why did George get lost in the library? He couldn’t find his shelf!
- What did the ocean say to George? Nothing, it just waved!
- How do trees get on the internet? They log in! (George can show you how!)
- What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between you and me, something smells! (George says it’s probably the garbage!)
- Where does George keep his toys? In a George-tainer!
- What musical instrument does George play in the jungle? The chim-pan-zee!
- Why did George bring a clock to the race? He wanted to see time fly!
- What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear! (George loves gummy bears!)
- Why don’t they play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs! (George loves animals!)
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything! (George is smarter than your average atom!)
George Jokes and Puns for Elders
- Why did Old George bring a ladder to the bar? Because he heard the drinks were on the house!
- George says to his wife, “My memory’s not as sharp as it used to be. I went to the kitchen for a glass…” His wife asks, “And did you forget what you wanted, dear?” George replies, “No, I just stood there for 10 minutes wondering what I was doing holding this hammer!”
- An old friend asks George, “Hey, are you still chasing women like you used to?” George winks, “No, I can’t. My doctor told me I need to avoid strenuous activity.”
- What do you call a regal lion named George who’s lost his pride? Dethroned and Gorge-ous.
- George tells his grandson, “When I was your age, I used to walk five miles to school in the snow, uphill both ways!” The grandson rolls his eyes, “Grandpa, you’ve told us that story a thousand times. And frankly, it’s snowing less believable each time.”
- Two old friends, George and Bill, are reminiscing about their youth. Bill sighs, “Remember when we thought 30 was old?” George chuckles, “Yeah, now I’m just grateful to be vertical and above ground.”
- Why doesn’t George trust stairs anymore? They’re always up to something.
- George asks his wife, “Do you think I’m vain for having this portrait of myself on the wall?” Wife: “George, that’s a mirror.”
- George goes to the doctor with a worried look. “Doc, I think I’m losing my mind! Just this morning, I put my coffee in the cereal box!” The doctor calmly replies, “George, at your age, you’re allowed to have a little senior moment.”
- Why was George’s retirement party so crowded? Because everyone wanted to make sure he actually left!
- What did George say to his aching bones? “Get a grip, we’re not pushing daisies yet!”
- George is watching a nature documentary about penguins. He turns to his wife and says, “You know, they look quite dapper in their little tuxedos.” His wife replies, “George, those are seals.”
- Why did George bring a notepad to the antique auction? To jot down any items older than him.
- George orders a bottle of wine marked “1895.” The waiter raises an eyebrow and asks, “Sir, are you sure? That’s a very old vintage.” George smiles, “Well, I’m not in any hurry.”
George Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media
- My friend George got fired from the bank for stealing sticky notes. I guess he’s not very George-ganized.
- Why did George quit being a lumberjack? Because he was tired of the Jorge-ography.
- George walked into a bar and ordered a drink. Then he did it again, and again, and again… It was a pretty George-ous night.
- Just saw George take a selfie with a plate of grapes. Must be for his grape-stagram story.
- Never play hide-and-seek with George. He’s gorgeous; you’ll never find him.
- Met my girlfriend’s dad for the first time. His name is George. I should have known things were George-ing well when he offered me a beer.
- Just saw George trying to fit an entire watermelon into his car. I guess you could say he’s really gorge-ing on fruit this summer.
- Why don’t they play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs, especially that one named George.
- What did George say to his pet goldfish on its birthday? I hope you have a fin-tastic Georg-iversary!
- I told George his new haircut made him look like a million bucks. He said, “Thanks! I grew-it myself!”.
- My friend George told me he’s starting a band called “99% Off.” They sound pretty good, but I think they could be Georg-ous at the right price.
- George went to art school to become a sculptor, but he wasn’t very good. Turns out his true passion was Georg-aph-y.
- I asked George if he believed in love at first sight. He said, “Of course, but I always like to George around a second time just to be sure.”
- George started a new job as a baker. He’s a bit anxious about it. I told him to just loaf and let the dough handle itself.
- Why is George such a good chess player? Because he’s a real George-ician when it comes to strategy. Bonus Pun: Did you hear about the new dating app just for Georges? It’s called Hinge-orge.
That’s All, Folks! George-ous Laughs Guaranteed!
Well, there you have it, folks! We’ve reached the George-ous conclusion of our pun-tastic journey. We hope these jokes about George left you roaring with laughter, or at the very least, groaning with amusement. Don’t let the pun fun stop here though! Explore our website for more hilarious puns and jokes that are anything but sub-par.
