96+ Notary Jokes: Puns You Gotta Sign For!
Get ready to laugh your stamp off! π This list of the best notary jokes and puns is officially hilarious. Whether you’re a seasoned notary or a kid who thinks “affidavit” is a type of bird, these clever quips will tickle your funny bone. We’ve notarized this collection for maximum humor, so get ready for some seriously funny wordplay. π€π₯ Get it? Notarized? Ok, we’ll stick to the jokes… π
Clever Notary Puns – Top Picks
- Notary chance you’ll find a better pun.
- I’m so official, I’m practically a notary public figure.
- This document drama? Totally notary problem.
- Need something notarized? I’m your notary guy!
- Sealing signatures? That’s my notary specialty!
- Feeling notary-fied? Get your documents signed!
- Don’t notary business, get it legalized!
- Notary time is a good time for important papers.
- From ordinary paper to officially notary-fied!
- Hold on, let me notary calendar for that.
- Legally binding? That’s how we notary things.
- Want to make it official? Notary problem at all.
- Life is full of important signatures, be notary-fied.

Top Notary Jokes – Best Picks
- Why did the notary refuse to work with Dracula? He only notarizes documents during daylight hours…because he’s a notarize-at-night kinda guy.
- What’s a notary’s favorite beverage? Anything notary-tious!
- I told the notary I needed my document signed ASAP. He said, “Sure thing! This is a notary emergency!”
- Did you hear about the notary who won an award? He was officially notary-fied!
- Why do notaries always carry a seal? Because they’re always sealing the deal!
- What do you call a notary who’s also a pirate? A notary-fied captain!
- Why don’t notaries get invited to many parties? They tend to seal themselves off!
- I saw a notary get chased by a swarm of beesβ¦ He didn’t just run, he notarized right out of there!
- How do notaries stay in shape? Seal-ups!
- You think you have bad handwriting? You should see a doctorβ¦or better yet, a notary!
- What’s a notary’s favorite genre of music? Seal-ing, obviously!
- Why was the notary feeling under the weather? He was coming down with a case of the sign-atures!
- I just met the most honest notary everβ¦ He admitted his job wasn’t rocket science, it was just notary!
- Why are notaries so good at keeping secrets? They’re masters of seal-ing them tight!
Funny Notary One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Notary Jokes
- I told the notary I needed something notarized urgently. He said, “Sure, what’s the notarial rush?”
- Notaries are always up on current eventsβthey’re pros at witnessing history.
- I used to be a notary, but I had to quit. I just couldnβt handle the stationery work.
- Ever noticed how notaries always seem to have the last word? Itβs their signature move.
- Never argue with a notary. They always have the final say.
- Being a notary seems easy, but it’s all about finding the perfect seal-abration.
- A notary walks into a bar and orders a drink. Before taking a sip, he says, “Hold on, I need to see some I.D.”
- My friend told me he wanted to become a notary to meet new people. I said, “That’s a sign of things to come.”
- You know you’ve found a good notary when their rates are very fair and reasonable. I’d say they’re notary-riffic!
- Notaries are great listeners. They’re always willing to lend an official ear.
- I’m starting a band called “The Notaries.” Our first single? “Signed, Sealed, and Delivered.”
- Did you hear about the notary who was afraid of commitment? He refused to seal the deal.
- Life as a notary is full of ups and downs… mostly just stamping ups, though.
- I’m friends with all the notaries in town. We have a great seal-ationship.
- Finding a trustworthy notary shouldn’t be a game of chance. Go with someone who has a good stamp of approval.
Notary QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Notary
- Q: Why did the notary refuse to notarize the invisible ink document? A: He couldn’t see signing off on it!
- Q: What’s a notary’s favorite type of candy? A: Anything nota chocolate! (Because they need their notary seal!)
- Q: Why was the notary so good at poker? A: He knew how to spot a bluff-idavit!
- Q: Did you hear about the notary who was also a drummer? A: He always kept a beat on the latest notary developments!
- Q: Why don’t notaries get invited to parties anymore? A: They always insist on sealing the deal before anyone leaves!
- Q: What do you call a notary who’s also a pirate? A: A swear to the code and seal the treasure chest kind of guy!
- Q: Why did the notary quit his job at the bank? A: He was tired of feeling like he was stamping his life away!
- Q: What do you call a notary who moonlights as a detective? A: An investigator who always gets to the signature truth!
- Q: Why was the notary’s handwriting so messy? A: He was a master of the scribble and seal!
- Q: How do you know you’ve found a really good notary? A: Their reputation precedes their seal!
- Q: Why did the flower go to the notary? A: It needed a signature scent!
- Q: What did the notary say to the runaway document? A: “You can’t escape my seal of justice!”
- Q: What’s the difference between a notary and a time traveler? A: One witnesses signatures, the other signatures witnesses!
- Q: Why did the notary bring a ladder to work? A: He heard the stakes were high that day!
- Q: What’s a notary’s favorite movie? A: Anything with a plot they can sign off on as believable!
Dad Jokes About Notary: Pun-Filled Quips
- Why did the document go to the notary? It wanted to make its mark (get it? Notary seals?)
- My son told me he wants to be a notary when he grows up. I said, “Just make sure you can handle the pressure…of the stamp!”
- Being a notary seems easy, but it’s all about the fine print.
- A notary walks into a bar and orders a drink. As he’s paying, he says, “I’m just glad I don’t need to see your ID.”
- If you’re ever lost in the woods, just find a notary. They’re always willing to point you in the right direction. (toward the signature line!)
- What do you call a lazy notary? A “not-doing-a-thing-ary!”
- My wife got mad at me for impersonating a notary. Apparently, “I hereby declare this is funny” doesn’t actually count.
- You know you’re a notary when your idea of a wild Friday night is finding a misplaced comma in a contract.
- I used to be a notary, but I quit. Turns out I wasn’t cut out for a life of rubber-stamping my authority.
- Never argue with a notary. They always have the last word…and the seal to prove it.
- Notaries are like human spellcheck, except their mistakes cost a lot more to fix.
- What’s a notary’s favorite movie? “Mission: Im-print-able!”
Notary Jokes and Puns for Kids
- Why did the notary go to art school? So they could learn to draw up documents!
- What’s a notary’s favorite kind of fruit? A signa-ture berry!
- Why do notaries make great detectives? They always notice the fine print!
- What did the notary say when they lost their pet seal? “This is un-seal-ievable!”
- Where do notaries go on vacation? Seal Island!
- Why did the student become a notary? They heard it was a sign of a good career!
- What do you call a notary who works at the North Pole? A brrrr-ified notary!
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Notary. Notary who? Notary business but yours!
- What did the stamp say to the notary? “Let’s make this document official!”
- Why was the notary always invited to parties? Because they were great at witnessing good times!
- What’s a notary’s favorite game? Truth or sign!
- What did the notary say to the sad document? “Don’t worry, I’ll stamp out your problems!”
- Why did the notary bring a ladder to work? They heard someone needed a sign-ature that was way up high!
- What do you call a notary who loves to dance? A sign-ing sensation!
Notary Jokes and Puns for Elders
- Why did the notary refuse to notarize the vampire’s will? He couldn’t find a vein worthy of ink.
- I told the notary my life story before he stamped my documents. Turned out, he charges by the hour.
- My grandpa the notary is so old-school, he still uses a quill and ink… and charges extra for the feather dusting.
- Ever noticed how notaries are always watching you sign? Makes sense, it’s their signature move.
- Retirement’s been boring, so I’m thinking of becoming a mobile notary. I’ll be “Notary on the Go,” get it? Like… osteoporosis?
- Tried to explain Bitcoin to a notary. He said he only deals in legal tender, not “legal tend-her.
- My friend claims to be a “Notary to the Stars”, but I’m pretty sure celebrities just use their agents. That, or they sign in green rooms… with Sharpies.
- The notary raised an eyebrow at my shaky signature. I told him I was just signing in cursive… because he looked old enough to appreciate it.
- My doctor says I need to reduce stress. Maybe I should start refusing to notarize last-minute wills. It’s cutting into my bingo nights.
- You know you’re old when the most exciting part of your week is figuring out which pen you’ll use to notarize something.
- Got a great deal on my last will and testament. Turns out, the notary was running a “buy one, get one free” special. Morbid, but practical.
- Why are notaries such good poker players? They know how to spot a bluff a mile away… and they always have a witness.
- The notary asked for my ID. I showed him my AARP card. He said, “Close enough.”
- You can tell a lot about a person by their notary stamp. Mine has a picture of a cat wearing a monocle. It’s very dignified.
- I used to think notaries were just for important documents. Now I need one to verify my online bingo winnings.
Notary Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media
- Just saw a notary wearing camouflage. Guess he was trying to be inconspicuous.
- You seem like a very official person. Are you a notary, by any chance?
- Notary walks into a bar and orders a drink. Bartender says, “Show me some ID.” Notary says, “Don’t you trust me?”
- Always trust a notary with good penmanship. They’ve got signature style.
- Why did the notary get a raise? Because they were always outstanding in their field!
- What’s a notary’s favorite movie? Mission: Impossi-seal!
- Heard about the notary who won an award? Must have been a stamp of approval.
- My friend said she wanted a witnessed wedding… so I trained to become a notary. You’re welcome! Slightly More Elaborate
- Applying to be a notary. My resume is a single sheet of paper, but I had to fold it in half to fit it in the envelope. Get it? Because legal size?
- You know you’ve been a notary too long when… you start instinctively carrying a stamp pad everywhere you go.
- “I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth⦔ Notary leans in: “Make sure you really mean it. This pen leaves a mark.”
- Found an old notary stamp in my grandma’s attic. Guess some things never go out of style!
- Accidentally signed my name in invisible ink. Good thing there’s a notary on speed dial! π