135+ Squirrel Jokes & Puns: Nutty Wordplay Acorns You!
Get ready to go nuts 😂 because we’ve got the best squirrel puns and jokes this side of the forest🌳! This hilarious list of squirrel humor is perfect for kids and adults alike – anyone who loves a good chuckle (or a nut-cracking good time!). 🐿️ Get ready for some clever and positive vibes with these funny puns and jokes about our bushy-tailed friends. You’re sure to go squirrelly for these! 😉
Top ‘Squirrel Jokes’ – Best Picks
- Why don’t squirrels tell secrets in a garden? Because the tomatoes have ears, the potatoes have eyes, and the corn has ears, you know… it’s ear-resistible!
- What do you call a squirrel that’s always losing its nuts? A forget-me-nut!
- Why did the squirrel get a job at the bank? Because he was great at handling large acor-ns!
- Heard about the squirrel who became a novelist? He was known for his long, winding tail-s!
- What’s a squirrel’s favorite ballet? The Nutcracker!
- How do squirrels get around the forest? They log in!
- Why did the squirrel cross the road? To prove to the opossum it could be done!
- What do you get if you cross a squirrel and a skunk? I don’t know, but it sure would stink to be you when you find out!
- Why are squirrels so bad at poker? They always have a bushy tail!
- What do you call a squirrel that lifts weights? Swole-ly nuts!
- Why did the squirrel get fired from his job at the library? He kept throwing the book at everyone!
- Did you hear about the squirrel who ran for office? His campaign slogan was “Vote for me, and I’ll make sure everyone gets their fair share of nuts!”
- What’s a squirrel’s favorite kind of music? Anything with a good beat… to bury nuts to!
- How do squirrels make their coffee? They like it instant-graham!
- What do squirrels use to surf the internet? Fire-fox!
- Why was the squirrel afraid of the tree? It was full of owls (owlsome!)
- What did the tree say to the squirrel who was stealing all his nuts? “Hey! That’s nuts!”
- What happens when a squirrel eats too much? He gets a nut-gut!
- Did you hear about the squirrel who was a tech whiz? He was a real chip off the old block!
- Why don’t squirrels like to gamble? The stakes are too high!
Clever ‘Squirrel Puns’ – Best Picks
- “I’m nuts about squirrels!” said the squirrel enthusiast. “They’re squirrelly good!” 🐿️❤️
- Why don’t squirrels use the internet? They’re always getting caught in web pages! 🕸️🐿️
- You know, squirrels are excellent multitaskers. They can have a nut and bolt at the same time! 🔩🐿️
- What do you call a squirrel who’s always gossiping? A blabber-mouth! 🤫🐿️
- Why was the squirrel kicked out of the library? He kept throwing the bookworms! 📚🐛🐿️
- The squirrel went on a strict diet. Turns out, all he needed was to eat was one acorn a day! 🍎🐿️➡️🥜🐿️
- Did you hear about the squirrel who became a lawyer? He specialized in nut-rimonial law! 💍🐿️
- Life as a squirrel is tough. They’re always one bad decision away from being squirrelly out of luck! 😬🐿️
- A squirrel walks into a bar and says, “I’ll have a pint of ale please… and hold the nuts!” 🍺🐿️
- My friend told me squirrels can fly, but I think he’s squirreling me! 🐿️✈️🤥
- What do you call a squirrel who’s always in trouble? A nutcase! 🤪🐿️
- Why are squirrels such good investors? Because they know how to “squirrel” away their money! 💰📈🐿️
- The squirrel crossed the road to prove he wasn’t chicken…he was just squirreling around! 🐓🚫🐿️
- Never underestimate a squirrel’s determination. They always find a way to get what they want – especially nuts! 💪🐿️🥜
- My therapist told me to embrace my inner squirrel. Now I just climb trees and hoard snacks. It’s actually quite relaxing! 🌳🧘♀️🐿️
- Being a squirrel is a tough job, but hey, someone’s gotta do it! 😎🐿️
- I’m writing a book about all the crazy antics of squirrels…it’s a real page-turner! 📖🐿️
- What’s a squirrel’s favorite genre of music? Nut-stalgia! 🎶🐿️
- You must be nuts if you think you can outsmart a squirrel! 😉🐿️
Funny ‘Squirrel One-Liner Jokes’ – Short & Funny Squirrel Jokes
- I tried starting a squirrel-themed boy band, but they kept going up in treble.
- A squirrel’s idea of a balanced diet is a nut in every tree.
- You know you’ve gone nuts when you start speaking squirrel.
- That squirrel couldn’t find his nuts, so he went to the bank to acorn-tact his financial advisor.
- Never underestimate a squirrel’s love for nuts – it’s un-shell-fish.
- Squirrels are such party animals; they’re always squirrelin’ away the snacks.
- The squirrel got a job at the bank because he was great with his nut-counting skills.
- A squirrel walks into a library and asks for books on paranoia. The librarian whispers, “They’re right behind you!”
- That squirrel is such a hoarder; he has enough nuts for the entire winter…and spring…and summer…and fall…
- Why did the squirrel get kicked out of the orchestra? He kept going nuts on the cymbals.
- The squirrel went on a diet and lost all his body hair. Now he’s a skinny dipper.
- I saw a squirrel stealing a watch the other day. I guess he was pressed fur time.
- Life as a squirrel is tough; it’s all fun and games until someone mentions winter.
- Did you hear about the squirrel who won the lottery? He went absolutely nuts!
- The squirrel couldn’t climb the tree because he was feeling squirrelly.
- What do you call a squirrel that loves to gamble? A risk-taker!
- I’m writing a children’s book about a squirrel who loses his tail. It’s a real tail of woe.
- My therapist told me to embrace my inner child. So I climbed a tree and stole some nuts. Turns out, I’m a squirrel.
- I’m opening a squirrel-themed cafe. It’s going to be called “Deja Brew-nut.”
Squirrel QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Squirrel
- Q: Why did the squirrel get fired from his job at the bank? A: He kept going nuts with the deposits.
- Q: What do you call a squirrel that’s always forgetting things? A: Squirrelly minded!
- Q: Why don’t squirrels tell secrets in a garden? A: Because the corn has ears, the potatoes have eyes, and the beans stalk.
- Q: What’s a squirrel’s favorite dance move? A: The nut-cracker!
- Q: Why did the squirrel cross the road? A: To prove to the opossum it could be done without getting flattened.
- Q: How do squirrels make new friends? A: They give them a “nut” shell introduction!
- Q: Why are squirrels such good athletes? A: They excel in tree-athlons!
- Q: What do you get if you cross a squirrel and a skunk? A: I don’t know, but you’d better clear the area!
- Q: What’s a squirrel’s favorite Shakespeare play? A: Nutmeo and Juliet!
- Q: Where do squirrels go to borrow money? A: The first finan-shell institution they find!
- Q: What happens when a squirrel eats too much? A: He gets a nut-gut!
- Q: What do you call a squirrel who’s also a lawyer? A: Sue-quirrel!
- Q: What do you call a group of squirrels planning a heist? A: A nutwork!
- Q: Why don’t squirrels play poker in the park? A: Too many cheetahs around!
- Q: What’s a squirrel’s favorite month? A: Sep-timber!
- Q: Why was the squirrel so embarrassed after the costume party? A: He went as a nut, but everyone thought he was just being himself.
- Q: How did the squirrel win the lottery? A: He used his nut-ural luck!
- Q: What’s a squirrel’s favorite type of music? A: Anything with a good beat to “bush” their tail to!
- Q: Why did the squirrel get a job at the library? A: He heard they were looking for someone with excellent nut-rition knowledge (for all the bookworms)!
- Q: What’s a squirrel’s favorite type of TV show? A: Anything on the Acorn Channel!
Dad Jokes About Squirrel: Pun-Filled Quips
- I saw a squirrel hiding a bunch of $10 bills in a tree today. Must have been squirreling away his nut-ional reserve.
- Why don’t squirrels play poker? Too much risk of going “nut” all in.
- My wife got mad at me for feeding the squirrels in the park. Apparently, sharing your nuts with wildlife isn’t “focusing on our relationship.”
- A squirrel stole my phone the other day. Little thief must have wanted to join the “squirreld” wide web.
- I taught a squirrel how to speak French. Now he only eats “noisettes.”
- That squirrel running in circles looks awfully familiar… Wait a minute, I think he’s on my “to-do” list!
- Went to a party thrown by squirrels last night. It was nuts!
- My son asked me to name three famous squirrels. I said, “Alvin, Simon, and… uh… Squirrel-ly Nelson?”
- You know what they call a squirrel that raids your garden? Public ene-nut number one!
- Why did the squirrel get fired from his job at the bank? He kept taking too many nut-ty risks with the loans.
- What do you get if you cross a squirrel and a skunk? I don’t know, but it probably smells “squirrelly” to me.
- My wife told me to take the trash to the curb. I told her I couldn’t find it. Apparently, hiding it in the oak tree for the squirrels “wasn’t helpful.”
- Heard a rumor about a secret society of squirrels planning world domination. Sounds a little far-fetched, but then again, I’m not one to go nuts over conspiracy theories.
- Why are squirrels such good athletes? They’re excellent jumpers and always “nut” out during competitions.
- A squirrel walked into a library and asked for books about paranoia. The librarian whispered, “They’re right behind you!”
- What’s a squirrel’s favorite ballet? The Nutcracker!
- That squirrel has some serious anger management issues. He’s one acorn away from going completely “nuts.”
- You know, I tried to catch a squirrel by pretending to be a statue. He wasn’t fooled though, probably because I kept yelling, “Don’t make me go nuts on you!”
Squirrel Jokes and Puns for Kids
- Why don’t squirrels tell secrets in the garden? Because the tomatoes can’t ketchup! 🍅🤫
- What do you call a squirrel that’s always forgetting things? A forgetsquirrely! 🤔🐿️
- Why did the squirrel get sent to his room? He was being nut-ty! 🌰🤪
- What musical instrument do squirrels play? The acordian! 🎶🐿️
- Where do squirrels go to borrow money? The cashew! 💰🐿️
- Why did the squirrel cross the road? To prove he wasn’t chicken! 🐔🐿️
- What’s a squirrel’s favorite ballet? The Nutcracker! 🥜🩰
- How do squirrels get around? They nut-igate! 🧭🐿️
- What did the squirrel say when he won the lottery? I’m rich! Time to acorn-er the nut market! 🤑🐿️
- What do you call a squirrel that’s really good at karate? A squirrel master! 🥋🐿️
- Why was the squirrel tired of his job at the library? He was always shelving books! 📚🐿️
- What’s a squirrel’s favorite type of ship? A steam-nut boat! 🚢🐿️
- Why did the squirrel get in trouble at school? He kept throwing nut shells on the floor! 🏫🐿️
- What do you call a squirrel that’s always losing its tail? Forgetful! 🐿️💨
- What’s a squirrel’s favorite game show? Wheel of Fortune…cookie! 🎡🐿️
- Why don’t squirrels like fast food? They prefer to sit and shell-abrate their meals! 🍔🐢🐿️
- How can you tell if a squirrel likes you? They’ll give you a nut-five! 👋🐿️
- What did the tree say to the squirrel? Leaf me alone! 🍃🐿️
- What’s a squirrel’s favorite type of music? Anything with a good beat to nut to! 🎶🐿️
- Why did the squirrel get a job at the bank? He was good with his nuts! 💰🐿️
Squirrel Jokes and Puns for Adults
- Why did the squirrel get fired from the orchestra? He kept going nuts on the timpani!
- You know, being a squirrel in this economy is tough… Most days, it’s just one nut after another.
- My therapist told me to embrace my mistakes. I guess I’ll go dig that hole in the wrong yard again. What? You thought I was a squirrel this whole time?
- A squirrel walks into a bar and hops up on a stool. The bartender says, “Hey, we have a drink named after you!” The squirrel replies, “You have a drink called Steve?”
- What do you call a squirrel who’s always stashing away Bitcoin? A nut-to-future investor.
- Why are squirrels such bad liars? They always bury the evidence!
- I saw a squirrel holding a tiny protest sign that read “Legalize Nuts!” I gotta say, I admire his activist spirit.
- Dating a squirrel is great… Until you find out they’ve been squirreling away secrets from your relationship.
- What’s a squirrel’s favorite ballet? The Nutcracker, of course!
- I asked the park ranger for the wifi password. He just whispered “Squirrel!” Turns out he wanted me to get my own nuts.
- My friend said he wanted to live life like a squirrel… I told him to get his own darn problems.
- I tried to explain cryptocurrency to a squirrel, but he just kept looking at me like I was nuts. Maybe I need a better financial advisor.
- Why don’t squirrels play poker? Too much risk of going “all in” with their nuts.
- What’s a squirrel’s favorite genre of music? Heavy metal! They love to rock out to some Acorns of Destruction!
- I saw a squirrel wearing a tiny tuxedo and monocle. I think he was going to a formal gnawing event.
- Why are squirrels such bad neighbors? They always borrow your garden tools and never return them!
- You know you’re addicted to social media when… You start burying your phone like a squirrel buries a nut.
- What did the squirrel say to the tree after a long winter? “It’s been a while, we should branch out sometime!”
- I met a squirrel at a party the other day who claimed he was a distant relative of mine. I guess we’re both a little nutty.
Squirrel Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Other Social Media
- Just saw a squirrel carrying a tiny suitcase. Guess he was going on a nut-cation! 🌰✈️
- Why don’t squirrels like to gamble? The stakes are too high! 🌳💸
- Heard about the squirrel who went to art school? He’s a real nut-caso! 🎨🐿️
- My friend said squirrels can’t fly, but I saw one jump from a tree. I guess he was just winging it! 🍃🐿️💨
- What’s a squirrel’s favorite ballet? The Nutcracker! 🥜🩰
- You know, squirrels are pretty good at poker… they always have an ace up their sleeve! 😉🐿️
- I tried to explain to a squirrel that acorns are just tree ovaries, but he looked at me like I was nuts. 😵🐿️
- What do you get if you cross a squirrel and a shark? I don’t know, but I wouldn’t try to steal its nuts! 🦈🐿️
- Why did the squirrel cross the road? To prove to the opossum it could be done! 🐿️🚶♂️
- My therapist told me to embrace my mistakes. So I hugged a squirrel. Turns out, it wasn’t mine. 🫂🐿️❓
- Life is like a bag of nuts… you never know what you’re gonna get… especially if you’re a squirrel. 🤷♂️🐿️🥜
- What did the squirrel say to the tree after a long winter? “It’s been a while, bark!” 👋🌳🐿️
- Why are squirrels so bad at keeping secrets? They always spill the beans… acorns, actually! 🤫🐿️🥜
- What’s a squirrel’s favorite genre of music? Nut-stalgia! 🎶🐿️
- A squirrel walks into a library and asks for books on paranoia. The librarian whispers, “They’re right behind you!” 📚🐿️😨
- My spirit animal is a squirrel… easily distracted and constantly preparing for winter. 😅🐿️❄️
- What’s a squirrel’s favorite type of coffee? Hazel-nut! ☕🐿️
- You know you’ve been scrolling too long when even the squirrels outside your window look pixelated. 💻😩🐿️
- I’m starting a squirrel-themed escape room. It’s gonna be nuts! 🔐🐿️
- Don’t date a squirrel in fall, they’ll ghost you by winter. 💔👻🐿️🍂
Nutty Wordplay: Squirreling Away the Laughter 🐿️😄
Well, nut’s all folks! We hope these squirrel puns and jokes drove you nuts with laughter. If you’re still looking for more punny entertainment, hop on over to our website – it’s filled with more acorn-y jokes than a squirrel’s cheeks!
