107+ Old Fashioned Puns & Jokes: You’ll Raise a Glass To!
Get ready to laugh your spats off because we’re serving up the best 🥃 Old Fashioned puns and jokes this side of the roaring twenties! 👨⚖️ This list is the bee’s knees, packed with enough clever humor to make even the most serious bartender crack a smile. 😂 We’ve got something for everyone, from kid-friendly 🤪 silliness to puns that are truly the cat’s pajamas! So grab a cherry and settle in for a roaring good time – it’s going to be the most fun you’ll have since sliced bread! 😉
Top Old Fashioned Jokes – Best Picks
Why did the old fashioned get lost going to the party? Because it took a stagecoach and got stuck in the 1800s!
An old fashioned walks into a bar and says, “Make it snappy!” The bartender says, “Sir, you’re about 100 years too early for that phrase.”
You know you’re drinking an old fashioned when… you start judging people for using smartphones instead of telegrams.
Why don’t old fashioneds like going to the beach? They’re afraid of getting sand in their mustaches.
I tried to make a modern version of an old fashioned… I called it the “New Fashioned.” Turns out, people just wanted an old fashioned.
What’s an old fashioned’s favorite type of music? Anything played on a gramophone, of course.
I tried to explain the concept of the internet to an old fashioned… It just stared at me blankly and said, “Sounds like a fad.”
Why did the old fashioned cross the road? Nobody knows, it hasn’t gotten there yet!
My therapist told me to embrace my old fashioned side… So I bought a pocket watch and started saying “huzzah!” a lot.
What do you call an old fashioned that’s always getting into trouble? A rebellious spirit… with a splash of bitters.
Clever Old Fashioned Puns – Best Picks
Why did the bartender muddle the orange so aggressively? They were making an Old Fash-uned.
I tried to order an Old Fashioned in sign language, but… It got lost in trans-lation.
This Old Fashioned tastes strangely healthy. The bartender said they only use organicane sugar.
I wanted a modern cocktail, but the bartender talked me into an Old Fashioned. I guess you could say I got peer-suaded.
What do you call an Old Fashioned served in a high-tech glass? A Silicon Valley Fashioned.
I tried to make an Old Fashioned with whiskey aged for 20 years… But it was already taken.
An Old Fashioned walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, “Hey, aren’t you a little strong-spirited for this?”
I tried to make an Old Fashioned with smoked ice, but… It ended up tasting a bit suspect.
Why are Old Fashioneds so smooth? They know how to whiskey their problems away.
This Old Fashioned is strong! One sip, and I’m seeing double rye.
Funny Old Fashioned One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Old Fashioned Jokes
I tried to order an Old Fashioned online, but the website said it was out of style.
My grandpa is so old fashioned, he thinks “swipe right” is bad advice for using a broom.
My grandma’s so old fashioned, she still uses dial-up… to call the operator and ask what website she’s on.
I wanted an old fashioned romance, but instead, I got ghosted by a guy who said chivalry wasn’t dead.
My grandpa said love used to be about holding hands… then he winked and said, “You should see what we used our other hand for.”
I told my grandpa dating apps felt shallow. He said, “Back in my day, we only needed one photo and a vague description to find love… in the newspaper’s obituary section.”
This new bar has a “no phones” policy. It’s nice to see some old fashioned face-to-face awkward silence for a change.
Called a restaurant for a reservation. They said, “Just walk in, we’re pretty empty.” Now that’s what I call old fashioned service!
My grandma’s idea of “Netflix and chill” is watching a VHS tape of “Gone With the Wind” and falling asleep before intermission.
Kids today with their fancy streaming services will never know the joy of having to rewind a VHS tape before returning it.
My grandpa says I need to get with the times. Told him I am – I just ordered an Old Fashioned… online.
My friend tried to explain cryptocurrency to me. I said, “Look, I’m old fashioned. I believe in cold, hard… cash, preferably hidden under the mattress.”
They say “they don’t make ’em like they used to”. They’re right, they mostly make Old Fashioneds now.
Old Fashioned QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Old Fashioned
Q: Why did the bartender refuse to serve the Old Fashioned in a sippy cup? A: He said it was strictly for patrons with refined palettes… and opposable thumbs.
Q: What do you call an Old Fashioned made with expired bitters? A: A Bitter End.
Q: What’s an Old Fashioned’s favorite genre of music? A: Swing, of course!
Q: Why did the Old Fashioned cross the road? A: It was looking for a barfly to pick it up.
Q: Why did the time traveler order an Old Fashioned? A: Because he was feeling out of time!
Q: Did you hear about the Old Fashioned who won an award? A: It was given for being “spiritually” uplifting.
Q: What’s an Old Fashioned’s favorite dance move? A: The slow, deliberate stir, naturally.
Q: Why don’t Old Fashioneds like to argue? A: They prefer a good, civilized discussion – preferably over ice.
Q: What’s the difference between an Old Fashioned and a newfangled cocktail? A: You don’t need a dictionary to order an Old Fashioned.
Q: My doctor said I should ditch the sugar in my Old Fashioned. Any suggestions? A: Just tell him you take it neat…ly disguised as a classic cocktail.
Q: What does an Old Fashioned say when it’s impressed? A: “Well, muddle me this!”
Q: Why don’t Old Fashioneds ever go out of style? A: They’re timeless… just like a good pair of suspenders.
Q: What’s an Old Fashioned’s favorite type of humor? A: Dry, with a twist!
Q: How do you make an Old Fashioned feel young again? A: You can’t. It’s an Old Fashioned. But you can enjoy its wisdom!
Dad Jokes About Old Fashioned: Pun-Filled Quips
I tried to make an Old Fashioned with new whiskey… Turns out you can’t teach an old dog new tricks!
I told the bartender, “Make it an Old Fashioned, but don’t get carried away with the bitters.” He said, “Don’t worry, I won’t get bitter about it.”
What do you call an Old Fashioned that likes to fight? A rum pugilist!
Why don’t they serve Old Fashioneds in school? They’re too spirituous!
My date said I was old fashioned because I offered her my coat. I told her, “Well at least this way I know where you’ll be hanging around!”
What’s the most old fashioned way to order an Old Fashioned? By carrier pigeon, of course!
You know you’re old fashioned when… You think “Netflix and chill” means actually watching Netflix and relaxing!
An Old Fashioned walks into a bar and says… “Hey, I’m on the rocks!”
Why did the Old Fashioned get lost on the way to the party? It took a wrong turn at the bitters end!
I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey… But then I turned myself around. Now, I’m just an Old Fashioned kind of guy.
Why don’t they make clocks shaped like Old Fashioneds? Because time flies when you’re having one!
I tried to explain online dating to my grandpa… He said, “Back in my day, we met people the old fashioned way, over an Old Fashioned!”
What do you get when you mix an Old Fashioned with a margarita? A drink that’s confused about its identity, much like my teenage son!
Old Fashioned Jokes and Puns for Kids
What did the grandpa say when he saw the VR headset? “Back in my day, we used our imaginations to escape reality!”
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Cows go. Cows go who? No, silly! Cows go “Moo” not “Who” – that’s old-fashioned!
What’s an old-fashioned camera’s favorite mode of transportation? A flash drive!
Why don’t they make old-fashioned cameras anymore? They were too focused on the past!
What did the history book say to the old-fashioned phone? “Hey, I remember when you were all the rage!”
Why don’t old-fashioned TVs go out anymore? They prefer to stay in and watch the same 3 channels!
What’s an old-fashioned robot’s favorite drink? Rust-tea!
What do you call a dinosaur that’s always on time? An Old-Fashiondocus!
What did the tree say to the old-fashioned axe? “Hey! That’s woodcut! We use chainsaws now!”
What’s the difference between an old-fashioned phone and a new phone? You pick up the new phone to talk, and you pick up the old-fashioned phone to get a workout!
Old Fashioned Jokes and Puns for Elders
My doctor told me I needed to add more bitters to my life… So I ordered another Old Fashioned. It’s practically medicinal at this point.
You know you’re getting old when… “Netflix and chill” means you literally dozed off during “Murder, She Wrote.”
My retirement plan is simple: Find a nice bar with comfortable stools and become a permanent fixture. I’ll be the “Old Fashioned” gentleman in the corner.
You know you’re old fashioned when… Your idea of online dating is looking up old flames in the phone book.
They say with age comes wisdom. But sometimes, with age, just comes more age.
I asked my wife, “What’s for dinner? I’m feeling nostalgic for the good old days.” She said, “How about leftovers?”
I tried to join a Facebook group for people my age… But they wouldn’t let me in because they said I was “too negative.” Honestly, at my age, I’ve earned the right to be a little grumpy.
My grandkids are always asking me to tell them a story about the “olden days.” So I tell them about dial-up internet and waiting in line to use the rotary phone. They think I’m making it up.
I saw a sign that said, “Vintage Clothing.” I thought, “Don’t you mean ‘my closet’?”
Technology is amazing these days. I can video chat with my grandkids from halfway across the world. Of course, then they usually say, “Grandpa, you’re on mute,” and I have to figure out how to unmute myself.
I’m not old; I’m classic. Like a well-aged whiskey or a finely crafted Old Fashioned – I just get better with time.
Old Fashioned Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media
I tried to order an Old Fashioned in reverse chronological order… The bartender just gave me a weird look and said, “You mean a New Fashioned?”
What’s an Old Fashioned’s favorite song? Anything by the Sugarhill Gang, because it’s all about that bass.
My grandpa said I dress too old-fashioned. I told him, “Hey, at least I’m not stuck in the last century… like your cocktails.”
You know you’re drinking an Old Fashioned right when… You start instinctively yelling at passing clouds.
My therapist told me to embrace my mistakes. So, I went and ordered another Old Fashioned.
I’m so old-fashioned, I still listen to music on my gramophone. The cloud just doesn’t have the same warmth.
Why did the Old Fashioned get kicked out of the bar? It started a fight with a Cosmopolitan because it was “too modern.”
I told my date I was a classic man. He said, “Prove it, order an Old Fashioned.” I said, “Make it a double.”
An Old Fashioned walks into a bar and says… “Hey, I haven’t seen you in a while!” The bartender replies, “Well, you do look a day older…”
What do you get when you cross an Old Fashioned with a Margarita? A drink that’s salty about being out of style.
I like my men like I like my Old Fashioneds… Strong, a little bit sweet, and with a twist.
My friends all make fun of me for ordering Old Fashioneds. But I’m like, “Hey, at least I know what I like… and what I like is delicious.”
Dating apps are like cocktails… Everyone’s looking for something new and exciting, but I’m just trying to find myself a good Old Fashioned.
Why are Old Fashioneds so smooth? Because they’ve had decades to perfect their recipe.
Someone just asked me if I wanted a “New Fashioned”… I said, “As long as it tastes as good as the original, I don’t care what you call it.”
Timeless Laughs, Never Out of Style 🥃
Well, there you have it – a veritable cocktail shaker full of old fashioned puns and jokes, shaken, not stirred (unless you prefer it that way). If you’re thirsty for more side-splitting wordplay, don’t be a square – browse our website for a whole speakeasy of hilarious puns and jokes!
