107+ Old Fashioned Puns & Jokes: You’ll Raise a Glass To!
Get ready to laugh your spats off because we’re serving up the best 🥃 Old Fashioned puns and jokes this side of the roaring twenties! 👨⚖️ This list is the bee’s knees, packed with enough clever humor to make even the most serious bartender crack a smile. 😂 We’ve got something for everyone, from kid-friendly 🤪 silliness to puns that are truly the cat’s pajamas! So grab a cherry and settle in for a roaring good time – it’s going to be the most fun you’ll have since sliced bread! 😉
Top Old Fashioned Jokes – Best Picks
- Why did the old fashioned get lost going to the party? Because it took a stagecoach and got stuck in the 1800s!
- What’s an old fashioned’s favorite video game? Oregon Trail… it’s a classic.
- My grandpa tried to order an old fashioned online… They said it was out of stock, but they could send him the recipe by carrier pigeon.
- An old fashioned walks into a bar and says, “Make it snappy!” The bartender says, “Sir, you’re about 100 years too early for that phrase.”
- You know you’re drinking an old fashioned when… you start judging people for using smartphones instead of telegrams.
- Why don’t old fashioneds like going to the beach? They’re afraid of getting sand in their mustaches.
- I tried to make a modern version of an old fashioned… I called it the “New Fashioned.” Turns out, people just wanted an old fashioned.
- What’s an old fashioned’s favorite type of music? Anything played on a gramophone, of course.
- I tried to explain the concept of the internet to an old fashioned… It just stared at me blankly and said, “Sounds like a fad.”
- Why did the old fashioned cross the road? Nobody knows, it hasn’t gotten there yet!
- My therapist told me to embrace my old fashioned side… So I bought a pocket watch and started saying “huzzah!” a lot.
- What do you call an old fashioned that’s always getting into trouble? A rebellious spirit… with a splash of bitters.
- What’s the difference between an old fashioned and a time machine? One’s a delicious cocktail, and the other is… well, a delicious cocktail that hasn’t been invented yet.
Clever Old Fashioned Puns – Best Picks
- Why did the bartender muddle the orange so aggressively? They were making an Old Fash-uned.
- I tried to order an Old Fashioned in sign language, but… It got lost in trans-lation.
- This Old Fashioned tastes strangely healthy. The bartender said they only use organicane sugar.
- I wanted a modern cocktail, but the bartender talked me into an Old Fashioned. I guess you could say I got peer-suaded.
- What do you call an Old Fashioned served in a high-tech glass? A Silicon Valley Fashioned.
- I tried to make an Old Fashioned with whiskey aged for 20 years… But it was already taken.
- An Old Fashioned walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, “Hey, aren’t you a little strong-spirited for this?”
- My friend said he could drink an Old Fashioned in one gulp. I told him “Don’t be rash.”
- I tried to make an Old Fashioned with smoked ice, but… It ended up tasting a bit suspect.
- Why are Old Fashioneds so smooth? They know how to whiskey their problems away.
- This Old Fashioned is strong! One sip, and I’m seeing double rye.
- What’s an Old Fashioned’s favorite dance move? The Citrus Swing.
Funny Old Fashioned One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Old Fashioned Jokes
- I tried to order an Old Fashioned online, but the website said it was out of style.
- My grandpa is so old fashioned, he thinks “swipe right” is bad advice for using a broom.
- My grandma’s so old fashioned, she still uses dial-up… to call the operator and ask what website she’s on.
- I wanted an old fashioned romance, but instead, I got ghosted by a guy who said chivalry wasn’t dead.
- My grandpa said love used to be about holding hands… then he winked and said, “You should see what we used our other hand for.”
- I told my grandpa dating apps felt shallow. He said, “Back in my day, we only needed one photo and a vague description to find love… in the newspaper’s obituary section.”
- This new bar has a “no phones” policy. It’s nice to see some old fashioned face-to-face awkward silence for a change.
- Called a restaurant for a reservation. They said, “Just walk in, we’re pretty empty.” Now that’s what I call old fashioned service!
- My grandma’s idea of “Netflix and chill” is watching a VHS tape of “Gone With the Wind” and falling asleep before intermission.
- Kids today with their fancy streaming services will never know the joy of having to rewind a VHS tape before returning it.
- My grandpa says I need to get with the times. Told him I am – I just ordered an Old Fashioned… online.
- My friend tried to explain cryptocurrency to me. I said, “Look, I’m old fashioned. I believe in cold, hard… cash, preferably hidden under the mattress.”
- They say “they don’t make ’em like they used to”. They’re right, they mostly make Old Fashioneds now.
Old Fashioned QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Old Fashioned
- Q: Why did the bartender refuse to serve the Old Fashioned in a sippy cup? A: He said it was strictly for patrons with refined palettes… and opposable thumbs.
- Q: What do you call an Old Fashioned made with expired bitters? A: A Bitter End.
- Q: What’s an Old Fashioned’s favorite genre of music? A: Swing, of course!
- Q: Why did the Old Fashioned cross the road? A: It was looking for a barfly to pick it up.
- Q: Why did the time traveler order an Old Fashioned? A: Because he was feeling out of time!
- Q: Did you hear about the Old Fashioned who won an award? A: It was given for being “spiritually” uplifting.
- Q: What’s an Old Fashioned’s favorite dance move? A: The slow, deliberate stir, naturally.
- Q: Why don’t Old Fashioneds like to argue? A: They prefer a good, civilized discussion – preferably over ice.
- Q: What’s the difference between an Old Fashioned and a newfangled cocktail? A: You don’t need a dictionary to order an Old Fashioned.
- Q: My doctor said I should ditch the sugar in my Old Fashioned. Any suggestions? A: Just tell him you take it neat…ly disguised as a classic cocktail.
- Q: What does an Old Fashioned say when it’s impressed? A: “Well, muddle me this!”
- Q: Why don’t Old Fashioneds ever go out of style? A: They’re timeless… just like a good pair of suspenders.
- Q: What’s an Old Fashioned’s favorite type of humor? A: Dry, with a twist!
- Q: How do you make an Old Fashioned feel young again? A: You can’t. It’s an Old Fashioned. But you can enjoy its wisdom!
Dad Jokes About Old Fashioned: Pun-Filled Quips
- I tried to make an Old Fashioned with new whiskey… Turns out you can’t teach an old dog new tricks!
- I told the bartender, “Make it an Old Fashioned, but don’t get carried away with the bitters.” He said, “Don’t worry, I won’t get bitter about it.”
- What do you call an Old Fashioned that likes to fight? A rum pugilist!
- Why don’t they serve Old Fashioneds in school? They’re too spirituous!
- My date said I was old fashioned because I offered her my coat. I told her, “Well at least this way I know where you’ll be hanging around!”
- What’s the most old fashioned way to order an Old Fashioned? By carrier pigeon, of course!
- You know you’re old fashioned when… You think “Netflix and chill” means actually watching Netflix and relaxing!
- An Old Fashioned walks into a bar and says… “Hey, I’m on the rocks!”
- Why did the Old Fashioned get lost on the way to the party? It took a wrong turn at the bitters end!
- I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey… But then I turned myself around. Now, I’m just an Old Fashioned kind of guy.
- Why don’t they make clocks shaped like Old Fashioneds? Because time flies when you’re having one!
- I tried to explain online dating to my grandpa… He said, “Back in my day, we met people the old fashioned way, over an Old Fashioned!”
- What do you get when you mix an Old Fashioned with a margarita? A drink that’s confused about its identity, much like my teenage son!
Old Fashioned Jokes and Puns for Kids
- Why did the old-fashioned computer get lost? Because it went to search for a “Yahoo!” instead of using Google!
- What did the grandpa say when he saw the VR headset? “Back in my day, we used our imaginations to escape reality!”
- Why did the old-fashioned car wear glasses? Because it couldn’t C what was ahead!
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Cows go. Cows go who? No, silly! Cows go “Moo” not “Who” – that’s old-fashioned!
- What’s an old-fashioned camera’s favorite mode of transportation? A flash drive!
- Why don’t they make old-fashioned cameras anymore? They were too focused on the past!
- What did the history book say to the old-fashioned phone? “Hey, I remember when you were all the rage!”
- Why don’t old-fashioned TVs go out anymore? They prefer to stay in and watch the same 3 channels!
- What’s an old-fashioned robot’s favorite drink? Rust-tea!
- What do you call a dinosaur that’s always on time? An Old-Fashiondocus!
- Why did the old-fashioned pencil get lost? Because it couldn’t find its way in the digital world!
- What did the tree say to the old-fashioned axe? “Hey! That’s woodcut! We use chainsaws now!”
- What’s the difference between an old-fashioned phone and a new phone? You pick up the new phone to talk, and you pick up the old-fashioned phone to get a workout!
Old Fashioned Jokes and Puns for Elders
- My doctor told me I needed to add more bitters to my life… So I ordered another Old Fashioned. It’s practically medicinal at this point.
- You know you’re getting old when… “Netflix and chill” means you literally dozed off during “Murder, She Wrote.”
- I tried to explain to my grandkids that back in my day, “swipe right” meant… actually using your index finger to turn the page of a book. They looked at me like I was speaking ancient Greek.
- My retirement plan is simple: Find a nice bar with comfortable stools and become a permanent fixture. I’ll be the “Old Fashioned” gentleman in the corner.
- I’m at that age where I can’t remember if I did something or just thought about doing it. On the plus side, I have a lot of very interesting memories… that may or may not have happened.
- You know you’re old fashioned when… Your idea of online dating is looking up old flames in the phone book.
- They say with age comes wisdom. But sometimes, with age, just comes more age.
- I asked my wife, “What’s for dinner? I’m feeling nostalgic for the good old days.” She said, “How about leftovers?”
- I tried to join a Facebook group for people my age… But they wouldn’t let me in because they said I was “too negative.” Honestly, at my age, I’ve earned the right to be a little grumpy.
- My grandkids are always asking me to tell them a story about the “olden days.” So I tell them about dial-up internet and waiting in line to use the rotary phone. They think I’m making it up.
- I saw a sign that said, “Vintage Clothing.” I thought, “Don’t you mean ‘my closet’?”
- Technology is amazing these days. I can video chat with my grandkids from halfway across the world. Of course, then they usually say, “Grandpa, you’re on mute,” and I have to figure out how to unmute myself.
- I’m not old; I’m classic. Like a well-aged whiskey or a finely crafted Old Fashioned – I just get better with time.
Old Fashioned Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media
- I tried to order an Old Fashioned in reverse chronological order… The bartender just gave me a weird look and said, “You mean a New Fashioned?”
- What’s an Old Fashioned’s favorite song? Anything by the Sugarhill Gang, because it’s all about that bass.
- My grandpa said I dress too old-fashioned. I told him, “Hey, at least I’m not stuck in the last century… like your cocktails.”
- You know you’re drinking an Old Fashioned right when… You start instinctively yelling at passing clouds.
- My therapist told me to embrace my mistakes. So, I went and ordered another Old Fashioned.
- I’m so old-fashioned, I still listen to music on my gramophone. The cloud just doesn’t have the same warmth.
- Why did the Old Fashioned get kicked out of the bar? It started a fight with a Cosmopolitan because it was “too modern.”
- I told my date I was a classic man. He said, “Prove it, order an Old Fashioned.” I said, “Make it a double.”
- An Old Fashioned walks into a bar and says… “Hey, I haven’t seen you in a while!” The bartender replies, “Well, you do look a day older…”
- What do you get when you cross an Old Fashioned with a Margarita? A drink that’s salty about being out of style.
- I like my men like I like my Old Fashioneds… Strong, a little bit sweet, and with a twist.
- My friends all make fun of me for ordering Old Fashioneds. But I’m like, “Hey, at least I know what I like… and what I like is delicious.”
- Dating apps are like cocktails… Everyone’s looking for something new and exciting, but I’m just trying to find myself a good Old Fashioned.
- Why are Old Fashioneds so smooth? Because they’ve had decades to perfect their recipe.
- Someone just asked me if I wanted a “New Fashioned”… I said, “As long as it tastes as good as the original, I don’t care what you call it.”
Timeless Laughs, Never Out of Style 🥃
Well, there you have it – a veritable cocktail shaker full of old fashioned puns and jokes, shaken, not stirred (unless you prefer it that way). If you’re thirsty for more side-splitting wordplay, don’t be a square – browse our website for a whole speakeasy of hilarious puns and jokes!
