102+ Nun Jokes & Puns: Habits You’ll Find Hilarious
Buckle up, buttercups! 😂 Get ready for a giggling good time with the best list of nun jokes and puns this side of the convent! 🙏 We’ve got humor so holy it’ll make you wanna confess your laughter. This collection of funny, clever puns is perfect for kids and those who are young at heart. Get ready for some heavenly hilarity! 😇
Top Nun Jokes – Best Picks
- Why did the nun get kicked out of the casino? She kept shouting, “Holy roller!”
- What’s the difference between a nun and a penguin? One wears a habit, the other wears a tuxedo by habit!
- Why did the nun go to the Apple store? To buy an iPray!
- How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it!
- What do you call a group of nuns playing instruments? A faith-based band.
- Why did the nun always wear running shoes? She wanted to be prepared for habit-forming situations.
- What do you get if you cross a nun and a boxer? A punchline you can’t refuse.
- Why are nuns like squirrels? They both collect nuts for the winter… well, at least one of them does.
- Two nuns are driving down the road, who’s navigating? Whichever one has the holy GPS!
- What do you call a nun who sleepwalks? A roamin’ Catholic!
- How did the nun make the skeleton laugh? She tickled his funny bone!
- What’s a nun’s favorite type of music? Anything with soul!
- What’s the most popular type of car among nuns? A Honda Accord… because it’s always nun of your business!
- Why did the nun bring a ladder to her choir practice? To reach the high notes!
- What do you call a nun who’s also a lawyer? Your Honor…ary sister.
Clever Nun Puns – Best Picks
- Why did the nun wear a watch on her habit? Time flies when you’re devoted.
- What do you call a nun who somersaults? A cartwheely holy woman.
- What do you call a nun who’s also a lawyer? Suing for your soul.
- Did you hear about the nun who opened a flower shop? Sales are booming, business is habit forming.
- What’s a nun’s favorite dance move? The Holy Ghost Ride.
- I started a band called ‘Nuns with Guns’… Turns out it was just a choir practice.
- Why did the nun get lost on her way to the party? She missed all the habit-forming directions.
- What’s a nun’s favorite type of music? Anything with a good hymn to it.
- Did you hear about the nun who was a professional wrestler? She’d always bring her opponents to their knees.
- How do you make holy water? You boil the nun out of it.
- What’s a nun’s favorite beverage? Nun-alcoholic wine, of course.
- A nun walks into a bakery and asks for a loaf of bread… The baker says, “Rye or white?” The nun replies, “Habit.”
- Why don’t nuns play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs!
- What did the nun say when she was riding a rollercoaster? “Holy moly, guacamole!”
- What do you call a group of nuns on motorcycles? A habit-forming cycle gang.
Funny Nun One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Nun Jokes
- A nun walks into a bakery and says, “I’ll have a dozen of those bread rolls, please. And could you call them ‘religious experiences’ on the receipt?”
- Did you hear about the nun who opened a pasta shop? It was an instant success – everyone loved her angel hair pasta.
- Being a nun is a demanding job, but at least you get habitual raises.
- A nun calls her mother superior on the phone and says, “Is it okay if I call you back? I’ve got a bad habit.”
- My friend said starting a band with nuns would be a bad idea. I told him, “Don’t be silly, they’re a very habit-forming group!”
- I tried to explain to a nun about the benefits of online shopping. She wasn’t convinced. She said she preferred to go to the store and browse in person.
- I saw a nun driving a car with a broken muffler today. I guess you could say she wasn’t very habit-forming.
- Why are nuns such good gardeners? They have holy water on tap and they know all about habits!
- What do you call a group of nuns riding a rollercoaster? A roller habit!
- How do nuns make their coffee? In a holy percolator!
- What’s the difference between a nun and a penguin? One wears a habit, the other wears a tuxedo…well, habit-ually, anyway.
- Why did the nun go to the art museum? She heard they had a collection of Old Masters!
- What’s a nun’s favorite type of car? A Chrysler.
- I saw a nun using a dating app. I guess she’s looking for a man of the cloth.
- Why are nuns always invited to baseball games? They have a reputation for being habitual base stealers!
Nun QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Nun
- Q: Why did the nun always carry a ladder to church? A: To get to high mass!
- Q: What’s a nun’s favorite type of car? A: A Car-mel!
- Q: What’s the difference between a nun and a kangaroo? A: One has a pouch full of babies, the other has a habit!
- Q: Why did the nun get kicked out of the fish market? A: She kept slapping the fish, screaming “HABIT! HABIT!”
- Q: What did the nun say when she walked into the furniture store? A: “I’m looking for a new habit!”
- Q: Why did the nun tell the ghost story during the day? A: She wanted to keep it light and breezy!
- Q: What do you call a nun who’s a skilled martial artist? A: A sister with a fist!
- Q: Why don’t nuns play poker in the jungle? A: Too many cheetahs!
- Q: What do you call a group of nuns trying to solve a mystery? A: The Sisters of Investigation!
- Q: What music do nuns listen to? A: Christian Rock, or anything with a good hymnal!
- Q: Why was the novice nun so good at card tricks? A: She had a few miracles up her sleeve!
- Q: Where do nuns go to get their nails done? A: The closest chapel-icure salon!
- Q: How do you make holy water? A: You boil the nun out of it! (This one’s a little dark but hopefully funny!)
- Q: Why was the nun’s garden always so successful? A: She had the divine touch!
- Q: What’s a nun’s favorite pop group? A: The Holy Order Direction!
Dad Jokes About Nun: Pun-Filled Quips
- Why did the nun get kicked out of the bingo hall? She yelled “Bingo!” before the numbers were even called. Guess you could say she jumped the nun.
- You know, I tried to become a nun once… Turns out they only take nun-felons.
- Heard a rumor about a nun who started a chain of juice bars… Apparently, business is nun of your business.
- What do you call a nun who’s always giving out discounts? A Sister of Nun-Price Mercy!
- I asked a nun what her favorite type of car was. She said, “Nun of them, I prefer to walk.”
- Did you hear about the nun who won the lottery? Don’t worry, she’s using the money for nunsense!
- Why don’t nuns play baseball? They always get called out for nunchalantly stepping off the base!
- Never bring up the subject of eyebrows in a room full of nuns… It’s considered nun of their business.
- I tried to strike up a conversation with this nun the other day, but I think I offended her. Guess I made a bad first nunpression.
- Saw a nun driving a race car the other day. License plate said “Nun Ya Business.”
- You know what they say about nuns and arguments… They always have the moral high nund!
- What kind of music do nuns listen to? Nunsense, of course!
- My wife said I should talk to a nun to get some spiritual guidance. I told her, “Nunsense, I can figure it out myself!”
Nun Jokes and Puns for Kids
- Why did the nun always wear a watch? Because she was always on nun time!
- Why did the nun become a gardener? She had a real green thumb!
- What do you call a nun who plays baseball? Sister Slugger!
- Why was the nun so good at basketball? She loved to habit!
- What’s a nun’s favorite dance move? The nunchuck!
- What do you get if you cross a nun and a pirate captain? I don’t know, but she’s definitely in charge of the carpool!
- How does a nun make her coffee? In a holy percolator!
- Knock knock! Who’s there? Nun. Nun Who? Nun of your business!
- What do you call a group of nuns playing rock and roll? A heavenly band!
- Why did the nun bring an umbrella to church? In case it rained!
- What do you call a nun who’s also a lawyer? Sister-in-law!
- Why did the math book look so sad to the nun? Because it had too many problems!
- What kind of car does a nun drive? A holy roller!
- Why didn’t the nun want to make lemonade? She didn’t want to be squeezed for time!
- What did the nun say when she was feeling stressed? “Let me pray about it – I need some nun-tervention!”
Nun Jokes and Puns for Elders
- Why did the nun get kicked out of bingo night at the retirement home? She kept shouting “Bingo!” in Latin.
- Two nuns are driving down a backroad when a vampire bats flies into the car. One nun panics, but the other calmly pulls out a travel-sized bottle of holy water. The first nun, amazed, asks, “Sister, where did you get that?” The second nun smiles and says, “Well, you never know when you might need a little ‘spirit’ on these country roads.”
- A group of senior nuns decide to get a tattoo. The Mother Superior is horrified, “Sisters, what have you done? This is sacrilegious!” One nun replies, “Relax, Mother, it’s temporary… it’ll be gone by morning.”
- A priest, a minister, and a rabbi walk into an ice cream parlor. The priest orders a sundae, the minister orders a banana split, and the rabbi looks at the nun behind the counter and says, “I’ll take a vanilla wafer, and make it a habit.”
- Why did the nun refuse to share her dessert? She’d already reached tiramisu.
- An elderly woman asks her friend, “Did you hear about the new convent that opened in Las Vegas?” Her friend gasps, “No! What’s it called?” The woman replies, “Our Lady of Perpetual Motion.”
- Retirement at the convent wasn’t so bad, but Sister Mary did miss wearing a watch. Now every day was a sundial.
- They say a group of nuns is called a ‘superfluity’ of nuns. Sounds like a lot of hábitos to me!
- Did you hear about the nun who started a gardening business? She’s known for her immaculate con-veggies-tion.
- Why was the novice nun so good at poker? Beginner’s luck? No, she could spot a bluff habit.
- The convent was having a fundraiser, so Sister Agnes baked her famous fruitcake. Everyone was thrilled… until they tried to cut it. Turns out, she’d forgotten the “raisin” for celebrating.
- Why don’t nuns ever play baseball? They always get called out on their Hail Marys.
- My friend said her grandma ran away to join the convent later in life. Apparently, she had a calling… collect.
- What do you call a nun who sleepwalks? A roamin’ Catholic!
Nun Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media
- Just saw a nun riding a lawnmower. Guess she was a lawn order.
- Did you hear about the tech-savvy nun? She had a website where she sold rosaries – she called it Beads & Beyond.
- My friend told me to try the new convent-run bakery. Apparently, they make heavenly donuts. I said, “Nun of your business, I’m getting a dozen!”
- You know, nuns are experts at origami. They’re always folding under pressure.
- What do you call a group of nuns playing rock music? A band habit!
- Never ask a nun to make you a milkshake. They always put habits in it.
- A nun walks into a library and requests books about paranoia. The librarian whispers, “They’re right behind you!”
- Heard a rumor that there’s a secret society of evil nuns. I guess you could call it the Order of the Dark Veil.
- What’s a nun’s favorite type of car? A Honda Accord-ingly!
- Why are nuns such good basketball players? They’re always trying to get a higher power!
- Why was the nun’s garden always so successful? She had holy water on tap!
- What’s the difference between a nun and a kangaroo? One prays a lot, the other prays a lot!
Nun-derful! Time to Habit-uate to Laughter!
Well, habit or not, we’ve reached the end of our holy order of nun jokes! We hope these puns and punchlines left you feeling anything but nun-plussed. But don’t stop here! For more heavenly humor and side-splitting puns, be sure to explore the rest of our habit-forming website.
