145+ Herb Jokes & Puns That Aren’t Too Parsley πΏπ
Get ready to laugh your herbs off! π This isn’t some cilantro-ry attempt at humor – we’ve got the best herb puns and jokes this side of the basil patch. πΏ Whether you’re a seasoned comedian or just looking for some dill-ightful fun, this list of clever jokes about herbs is guaranteed to spread some positive vibes. Kids will love them, adults will love them – heck, even your houseplants will be oregano-ing for more! π€£
Top ‘Herb Jokes’ – Best Picks
- Did you hear about the herb who became a stand-up comedian? He really spices things up!
- I tried to explain to my friend why herbs are so great… But it went right over his thyme.
- What did the herb say to the gardener who was feeling down? “Don’t worry, be parsley!”
- What do you call a lazy kangaroo? Pouch potato with a sprig of rosemary!
- Why did the gardener plant a light bulb? He wanted to grow a power-mint!
- I went to a party for herbs the other day… It was pretty lit, everyone was mint to be there.
- What’s an herb’s favorite movie genre? Chick-weed flicks!
- I just bought a car that runs on herbs and spices… It’s got great mileage, but the caraway is killing me!
- I told my friend my garden was full of talking herbs… He looked at me like I was dill-usional.
- Why was the herb feeling so anxious? He was having a mid-thyme crisis!
- What did the herb say to the boiling water? “Talk about a hostile work environment!”
- I saw a sign that said “Free Herb Seeds.” Seems like a bit of a dill-emma, I don’t have any pockets!
- What did the sage say to the parsley? “Let’s get this party growing!”
- My friend said he was going to open an herb shop… I told him that sounded like a growing business!
- What’s an herb’s favorite kind of music? Anything they can really get in-thyme to!
- Why did the herb cross the road? He was feeling a little sage and wanted a change of scenery.
- What do you call an herb that’s always getting into trouble? A real sprig-off!
- My herb garden is looking a little bare… Guess I should really take this thyme to spruce things up.
- What’s an herb’s favorite drink? Anything, as long as it’s served with a sprig of mint-ality!

Clever ‘Herb Puns’ – Best Picks
- Feeling down? Try some St. John’s Wort. It’s a real mood-booster, herbivore not.
- Did you hear about the herb that got lost in the forest? It had rosemary-go home.
- I tried to make tea with artificial sweetener, but it tasted like a sham-rock. Guess I should stick to herb.
- What did the parsley say to the other herbs after winning the race? “Easy, thyme-to-celebrate!
- I’m friends with all the herbs, I’m kind of a social dill.”
- My friend said she wanted to be a chef specializing in seasonings. I told her, “Go for it! It’s your herb-itude!”
- Why donβt they play poker in the rainforest? Too many cheetahsβ¦ and they always bet on the same herb.
- Why did the herb get a job at the bank? It had out-mint-ing qualifications!
- I’m writing a song about basil. I think it’s going to be a smash herb.
- Just got back from a relaxing vacation. I stayed at a thyme-share resort.
- My friend started a garden dedicated to cooking. He calls it his “culinary herb-arium.”
- What’s a ghost’s favorite herb? Spook-amint!
- Did you hear about the herb that became a detective? It was a real sage investigator.
- Why did the gardener plant herbs alphabetically? So he could find the thyme easily!
- My herb garden is so successful, it’s won me a no-bell prize!
- I’m starting to think my neighbor is selling herbs illegally. He keeps telling everyone to “keep it on the dill-low.”
- I tried to explain to my friend why he shouldn’t be afraid of gardening, but he was too herb-ophobic.
- What did the herb say to the witch? “I’ve got you covered!”
- I wanted to open a restaurant that only served dishes with one ingredient, but the single herb-view wasn’t very popular.
Funny ‘Herb One-Liner Jokes’ – Short & Funny Herb Jokes
- I met a guy named Herb who was a gardener. Turns out, he really knew his thyme.
- What did the lonely herb say? “I need some-body.”
- Why did Herb become a comedian? He loved parsley-ing his time on stage.
- I saw a sign that said “Free Herb.” Turns out, there were strings attached.
- What does Herb put on his sushi? Wasabi, it’s a real g-inger.
- Never underestimate a quiet herb. They can be surprisingly sage.
- Herb got fired from his job at the bank. He kept mint-ing the money.
- What do you call a herb that’s always in trouble? A dill-inquent.
- Why don’t herbs argue with each other? They always see eye to basil.
- Herb’s love life was like rosemary…always springing back.
- What’s an herb’s favorite music? Anything with a good beet.
- Herb tried to write a novel, but it needed more thyme to develop.
- What did the herb say to the salad? “Lettuce be friends.”
- Herb was a terrible gambler. He always bet on the wrong chives.
- You can’t trust atoms. They make up everything, even Herb!
- Why did the herb cross the road? To get to the thyme on the other side.
- Life is like a bowl of herbs…you never know what you’re gonna get.
Herb QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Herb
- Q: Why did Herb bring a ladder to the party? A: He heard the drinks were on the house!
- Q: What did Herb say when he realized he forgot his wedding anniversary? A: “Well, thyme flies when you’re having fun!”
- Q: What’s Herb’s favorite type of music? A: Anything with a good beet!
- Q: Why did Herb get lost in the spice aisle? A: He couldn’t find his rosemary!
- Q: Why is Herb such a bad poker player? A: He keeps folding like cilantro!
- Q: What did Herb say when he opened his herb shop? A: “Let’s get this parsley started!”
- Q: Why is Herb so good at solving mysteries? A: He always follows the right thymeline!
- Q: What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A: A pouch potato… just like Herb!
- Q: Did you hear about Herb’s new job at the bank? A: He’s loanly in charge of the mint department!
- Q: What did Herb say to the talking plant? A: “What’s up, bud?”
- Q: Why did Herb win an award for being so well-seasoned? A: He’s got salt and pepper hair, and a sage perspective on life!
- Q: What did the doctor say to Herb when he hurt his knee playing soccer? A: “Looks like a bad case of turf toe, you need to chervil it over!”
- Q: What’s Herb’s favorite board game? A: Thyme Square!
- Q: Why is Herb such a bad gardener? A: He’s always thyme-challenged!
- Q: Why did Herb get kicked out of the orchestra? A: He kept trying to sneak in his bongo drums – he’s got a real herb beat!
- Q: What does Herb use to surf the internet? A: Parsley!
- Q: What did the judge say to Herb when he brought his pet basil plant to court? A: “Order in the court-yard!”
- Q: Why doesn’t Herb like spicy food? A: He can’t handle the heat!
- Q: What’s Herb’s favorite Shakespeare play? A: “Rosemary and Juliet!”
Dad Jokes About Herb: Pun-Filled Quips
- I met a guy named Herb who’s really into gardening. Seems like an obvious hobby for him, thyme and thyme again.
- Why don’t they let Herb join the gardening competition? He always seems to basil.
- Herb wanted to name his daughter Rosemary, but his wife put it on hold. She thought the thyme wasn’t right.
- I saw Herb picking herbs yesterday. I asked him, “Whatcha got there?” He said, “Just a sprig of this and that.”
- Herb tripped and fell in his garden. Heβs feeling okay, though, just a little bruised parsley.
- Herb started a band called “The Herbs.” They mostly play oregano-al music.
- What did everyone say when Herb started growing catnip? “He’s really gone to pot!”
- Why is Herb such a bad poet? He keeps putting the thyme before the rosemary.
- Herbβs wife asked him to pick up some sage from the store. He came back empty-handed and said, “Sorry, honey, they only had regular.”
- I saw Herb looking stressed out in the garden. I asked, βWhat’s wrong?β He said, βEverythingβs cumin along too slowly!β
- Whatβs Herb’s favorite type of music? Anything with a good beet.
- I asked Herb, βHow do you make a chives smoothie?β He said, βJust blend it, silly!β
- Herb’s always getting lost in the garden. I think he needs a sense of dill-rection.
- Never underestimate Herbβs gardening skills. They’re thyme-less.
- I went to a cooking class Herb was teaching. Turns out his secret ingredient is always⦠love. And a pinch of basil.
- Herb always keeps his garden tools organized. He’s got a real system of chives.
- I tried to make a salad with Herb once. It was a complete dill-saster.
- Herb’s always happy when he’s tending to his herbs. You could say they really bring him peas of mind.
- I asked Herb if I could borrow some oregano from his garden. He said, “Sure, take it. It’s on the house.”
Herb Jokes and Puns for Kids
- Why did the herb garden smell so amazing? Because it was full of thyme-less classics!
- What did the little basil say to the big basil? “Hey! Leaf me some space!”
- What’s a herb’s favorite music? Anything with a good beet!
- Where do herbs sleep? In their bed-straw-oms!
- Why didn’t the herb do well in school? It kept getting thyme-outs!
- What did the mama cilantro say to her little sprout? “You’ve really grown, coriander! I’m so proud!”
- What does a detective herb say? “I’ve got a scent-sitive case to solve!”
- Why did the herb cross the playground? To get to the other slide!
- How do you make a rosemary smoothie? I don’t know, I haven’t figured out the thyme-ing yet!
- What do you get if you cross a sheep and a sprig of rosemary? A woolly sweater that smells amazing!
- What do you call a magical herb? A thyme-bender!
- Why was the mint shy? It was always getting complimented on its fresh breath!
- What happens when two herbs argue? They have a little spat-hyme!
- Why are herbs good at keeping secrets? They’re excellent listeners and always keep things under wraps!
- What kind of car does a sage drive? A Volks-wagen with a sunroof, of course!
- Why was the oregano sad? It was having a bad thyme.
- Where do herbs go on vacation? To the Bahamas-il!
- What do you call a group of singing herbs? A thyme choir!
Herb Jokes and Puns for Adults
- Why did Herb get kicked out of the orchestra? He kept trying to tell the conductor how to “weed” out the bad musicians.
- Herb’s love life was in shambles. He went on a date, and it was going well, but then he blew it. He said, “I’m like rosemary… I remember everything.” She replied, “Even that restraining order?”
- I met a guy at a dispensary who claimed to be a “weed whisperer.” I told him, “Prove it. Make my basil confess its darkest secrets.”
- Why did the parsley fail its driving test? It kept trying to park in the thyme-restricted zone.
- What do you call a group of stoned philosophers? The High Minds Society.
- I tried to write a song about oregano… but it just came out too bland.
- Why donβt they let cilantro into the herb garden anymore? Itβs always starting beef with the other herbs.
- A sage once told me, “Life is like a bowl of herbs…” I said, “That’s deep, man.” He goes, “No, I mean it. I literally see sounds and taste colors.”
- My friend said he wanted to open a dispensary called “Herbal Essences.” I said, “That’s a great name! Especially if you’re targeting a clientele who loves 90s shampoo commercials.”
- What’s a stoner’s favorite Shakespeare play? Hamlet, Prince of Dank-mark.
- Why did the thyme marry the rosemary? They were mint to be together.
- My doctor told me to incorporate more turmeric into my diet. I guess I’ll just have to curry on with it.
- I saw a guy selling oregano on the street corner. I asked him, “Is that oregano you’re selling?” He said, “Oregano, oregano… It’s all oregano to me.”
- I went to a party last night, and everyone was smoking something called “Sage Advice.” I took one puff and instantly regretted all my life choices.
- I’m writing a screenplay about the secret society of herbs. It’s a real page-thyme thriller.
- Dating a chef is great, but it’s hard to tell if he’s being sweet or just describing his cooking. Last night he said, “You’re like the saffron of my life… a rare and precious spice.”
- What do you call a detective who specializes in marijuana cases? A high-dro investigator.
- I met a guy at a bar who said he was a “professional herb identifier.” I showed him a picture of my catnip and he said, “That, my friend, is a gateway drug.”
- Never tell a secret in a garden… the herbs have ears. And they might just use that information to blackmail you later.
- I tried to join a gardening club, but they rejected me. They said I wasn’t “herb-savvy” enough. So now I spend my days alone, cultivating my collection of rare and illegal plants. Just kidding… or am I?
Herb Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Other Social Media
- Why don’t they allow cilantro in the orchestra? Because its taste is too divisive – it’s the herb you either love or oregano! πΏπΆ
- Just saw a guy spill his entire spice rack on the subway. It was an oregano-ized crime scene. π§π
- My friend tried to sell me a watch made out of basil. I told him it was a thyme scam. βπΏπ
- Why did the gardener plant a lightbulb? He wanted a power herb!π‘π±π
- I just got lost in a thyme warp… good thing it was only for a few seconds. β³πΏπ΅βπ«
- You know you’re obsessed with herbs when… you start measuring your life in sprigs. π¬π±π
- Tried to make rosemary oil last night… turned out it was already thyme to change the smoke detector batteries. π₯πΏπ¬
- What’s a gardener’s favorite musical genre? Anything but heavy metalβthey only listen to herb-al tea metal! π€πΏπΆ
- My therapist told me to try aromatherapy. Now my house smells like therapy is expensive. π πΏπ°
- Just found out my favorite band is releasing a limited-edition rosemary-scented vinyl. Guess I’ll be living life on the sage side now! ππΏπΏ
- Why is it so hard to have a serious conversation with parsley? Because it always takes things with a grain of salt! πΏπ§π
- My friend started a business selling oregano online. He calls it the Oregano Trail. π»πΏπ€
- What did the sage say to the thyme after a long day? “Let’s just chill out and be buds.” ππΏ
- Just overheard someone say “herb your enthusiasm.” I guess they weren’t that excited about my new basil plant. πΏπ
- Why are herbs so good at solving mysteries? Because they always get to the root of the problem! π΅οΈββοΈπΏ
- What did the oregano say to the pizza dough? “Slice, slice baby!” ππΏπΊ
- You know you’ve spent too much time gardening when… your dreams are in mint condition. ππΏπ
- My kid is obsessed with Greek mythology and gardening. He keeps asking me to buy him a “Cerberus” plant. πΆπΏπ₯
- What’s a gardener’s favorite type of currency? Dill-ars! ππ΅πΏ
- I tried to explain to my cat that catnip is just an herb… he wasn’t buying it. πΉπΏπ€ͺ
Thyme to Parsley Out, These Puns Are Mint To Be!
We’ve reached the thyme for our last herb pun, but don’t let the laughter stop here! We’ve got a whole garden of hilarious puns and jokes blooming over on our website. So, parsley yourself another cup of coffee and get ready for more pun-derful adventures!