110+ Subway Puns & Jokes: A Trackload of Laughs
All aboard the laughter express! 🚂😂 Get ready to dive into the best, most hilarious world of Subway Jokes and Puns! This list is packed with clever wordplay and silly humor that’s perfect for kids and adults alike. Whether you’re a fan of cheesy puns or witty jokes, we’ve got a delicious spread of humor to tickle your funny bone! 🥪🤣 Get ready to laugh your buns off!
Top Subway Jokes – Best Picks
- Why did the hipster get a job at Subway? He wanted to be part of the underground sandwich scene.
- I saw a sign that said, “Subway: Eat Fresh.” I thought, “That’s bold of them to assume I’m capable of eating an entire subway system.”
- Why did the bread go to the Subway doctor? It was feeling crusty.
- What do you call a Subway sandwich that sells real estate? A sub-leaser!
- Heard about the new Subway spokesperson? He’s an expert at “dressing” for the job.
- What’s a ghost’s favorite Subway order? A cold sub-way in the afterlife.
- My friend tried to pay for his Subway with an imaginary credit card. The cashier declined it, saying, “Sir, this is a sub-prime method of payment.”
- What’s a vampire’s favorite Subway sandwich? The B.L.T. (Bite, Lick, Tomato).
- Why did the pickle get fired from Subway? He kept getting himself into a real pickle.
- How does a train eat its Subway sandwich? Chew chew!
- I went to a Subway in an upscale part of town. The bread was sourdough-prising.
- What’s a Jedi’s favorite Subway sandwich? The Yoddle-wich!
- My friend says he wants to open a rival sandwich shop called “Overground.” I told him, “That’s a recipe for disaster.”
- Why don’t they play music at Subway? Because they don’t want a meat-ro-gnome to start singing.
- I tried to order a 6-foot-long sandwich at Subway. They told me, “Sir, that’s a bit of a stretch.”
Clever Subway Puns – Best Picks
- I tried to write a song about a subway, but it went off on a tangent.
- What’s a subway train’s favorite genre of music? Underground hip-hop.
- The subway’s air conditioning was broken. It was quite the tube-rid experience.
- The new subway conductor is great at his job. He really conducts himself well.
- I saw two pickles on the subway arguing about who had the right of way. I thought, “This is relish-ly absurd.”
- Why was the subway musician arrested? He got caught fare-evading.
- Two cannibals were eating a clown on the subway. One says, “Does this taste funny to you?”
- I saw a sign at the subway station advertising “Free Trips!” Turns out it was just the exit.
- The subway musician was playing a mean saxophone. I guess you could say he was track-ing.
- My friend tripped and dropped his phone on the subway tracks. He went from “connected” to “disconnected” real quick.
- Did you hear about the ghost who haunts the subway tunnels? He keeps trying to scare people on the plat-form.
- I saw a sign in the subway that said “Watch Your Step”. So I did, for about five minutes. Then I got bored.
- Why did the banana go on the subway? It wanted to become a plantain.
- What did the artist say when their painting fell on the subway tracks? “Well, that’s an abstract disaster.”
- My friend said he wanted to open a yoga studio in the subway station. I told him, “That’s a stretch.”
Funny Subway One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Subway Jokes
- I wanted to order a foot-long from Subway, but the employee said they only served subs. I guess they really meant it!
- Subway should start a loyalty program called “Sub-scription.”
- Why was the subway sandwich always late? Because it took the wrong train of thought!
- Why did the bread go to the doctor? It was feeling crumby after a ride on the subway.
- I dropped my phone on the subway tracks today. Good thing it was on airplane mode!
- I saw a sign at Subway that said “Free Smells.” Turns out, they were advertising their bread!
- The Subway artist drew a pickle on my sandwich instead of putting a real one. He said it was an abstract pickle.
- I saw a guy on the subway reading a book called “How to Make Friends.” I bet he got on at the Friend Zone station.
- My friend said he wanted to open a rival sandwich shop across from Subway. I guess you could say it would be a “Tube War.”
- You know you’ve been eating too much Subway when you start craving pickle juice.
- The subway is a lot like dating: You wait forever for something good, then someone takes it right before you can get to it.
- I tried to pay for my subway with a song, but the cashier said they only accepted “cold hard cash.”
Subway QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Subway
- Q: What did the bread slices say to the Subway artist after a long day? A: “We’re feeling really toasted.”
- Q: Why did the pickle get kicked out of Subway? A: He kept getting into fights with the peppers and creating a real dill-emma.
- Q: Why did the tomato turn red at the Subway? A: It saw the salad dressing!
- Q: How did the sandwich feel after winning the Subway employee of the month? A: On a roll!
- Q: What’s a ghost’s favorite Subway order? A: “I’ll have a phantom footlong, and hold the mayo… boo!”
- Q: Why don’t they offer lie detector tests at Subway? A: Because they’re afraid the sandwiches would fail the meat test!
- Q: Why did the police officer go into Subway? A: Someone reported a robbery that was “off the chain!”
- Q: What did the lettuce say to the tomato on their date at Subway? A: “Lettuce be together, romainetically speaking!”
- Q: How do you order a heroic sandwich at Subway? A: Just say, “Make it a sub-lime!”
- Q: How did the employee know their Subway job was in jeopardy? A: They were put on sandwich probation.
- Q: Why wouldn’t the cookie apply for a job at Subway? A: He didn’t want to be known as a sell-out!
- Q: What happens when you bring your pet alligator to Subway? A: They tell you, “Sorry, only service animals allowed. He clearly doesn’t look like he wants a sub!”
Dad Jokes About Subway: Pun-Filled Quips
- Why don’t they play music on the subway? Because they don’t want to face the subwoofers.
- Did you hear about the subway performer who was always flat? He played the tuba poorly.
- A guy walks into a Subway and orders a six-foot-long sandwich. The worker says, “That’s a lot of bread!” The guy replies, “Yeah, I’m on the yeast coast diet.”
- I started a new job at the subway station. Turns out it’s an express lane to work!
- My friend said his job at the Subway was getting stale. I told him he just needed to find a new roll.
- Why did the bread go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crumby.
- I took the subway to get to the bakery yesterday. I figured I’d take the wheat route.
- What do you call a subway car full of lawyers? A lawsuit waiting to happen.
- Why didn’t the sandwich want to go on the subway? It said, “It’s too crowded, I’m a private rye!”
- Don’t ever try to make a sandwich on the subway. It’s incredibly difficult to spread mayo on a moving train.
- I used to work at Subway, but I quit. I couldn’t handle the pressure of being a sandwich artist.
- My friend tried to pay for his Subway sandwich with a poem. The cashier said, “Sorry, we only accept cold, hard cash.”
- What does a nosy pepper do on the subway? It gets jalapeno business!
Subway Jokes and Puns for Kids
- Why don’t they play hide-and-seek on the subway? Because it’s way too easy to find someone on the subway-track!
- What’s a subway train’s favorite snack? Choo-Choo-Cheetos!
- What do you call a messy sandwich from the subway? A sub-wreck!
- Why did the sandwich go to the doctor? Because it was feeling sub-par!
- Why was the subway train sad? It went through a tunnel and came out the other side with tunnel vision!
- What do you call a sheep that rides the subway? A baaah-train passenger!
- How do bees travel to work on time? They take the sub-bee!
- Where does a spooky sandwich like to ride? The ghost train!
- What’s a subway’s favorite type of music? Anything with a good beat!
- What did the pickle say to the subway sandwich? Let’s relish this moment!
- Why did the bread slice get a job on the subway? It wanted to be a roll model!
- What’s a subway car’s favorite game? Track and field!
- What did the bread say to the meat before getting on the subway? Lettuce go!
- Why did the French fry cross the subway tracks? To get to the other tide! Get it? Fry-ed!
- What do you call a sleepy subway rider? A snoo-doo train rider!
Subway Jokes and Puns for Elders
- Why did the elder prefer the subway to a taxi? He enjoyed the senior discount and the fact that it wasn’t fare-fetched to expect to arrive on time.
- An elderly couple is on the subway, reminiscing about their first date. “Remember,” the woman says, “we shared a kiss on the subway that night?” The man replies, “Yes, and today I’m sharing a bench with three strangers!”
- I told my grandkids I took the subway to save money on gas. They said, “Grandpa, that’s so 1980s!”
- My doctor told me I need to incorporate more iron into my diet. So now I commute during rush hour on the subway.
- I saw a guy on the subway reading “The History of Pickles.” I thought, “That’s a real dill-emma – who reads that on the subway?”
- What’s the difference between a bad subway sandwich artist and a good taxidermist? The taxidermist can at least make their subjects look alive and interesting.
- Why did the retired tailor refuse to take the subway? He couldn’t stand the thought of being surrounded by bad seams.
- I was on the subway and this young man offered me his seat. I told him, “Son, I’ve stood up for things in my life you wouldn’t believe. Now sit down and enjoy your youth!”
- Why don’t they have drive-thrus at Subway? Because then they’d have to call it “Drive-Under.”
- My friend said I should try the new Subway app. I told him, “At my age, I consider paper maps a newfangled invention!”
- They say you can learn a lot about a city by its subway system. Mostly, you learn how much everyone hates the smell of tuna in the morning.
- I was reading an article about the environmental impact of subways. Turns out, they’re much better than cars. Though, to be fair, a horse and buggy is even better.
- What do you call a group of elders riding the subway together? A rush hour miracle.
Subway Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media
- Just saw a ghost on the subway. Guess he was a subway phantom. 👻
- Why did the bread go on the subway? To get toasted. 🍞
- My friend says I’m obsessed with Subway. I told him to just lettuce be. 🥬
- Subway’s new slogan: “Eat Fresh.” The bread: 💀
- I tried to pay for my Subway sandwich with lettuce. The cashier said, “Sorry, we only accept cold, hard cash.” 🥶💰
- What do you call a subway car full of comedians? A laugh track. 😂🚋
- I’m starting a dating app for people who love Subway. It’s called Subs Seeking Subs. 😉
- Never get into an argument with a Subway employee. They’re always armed with submachine guns. 😜🔫
- I dropped my phone on the subway tracks. Now it’s a metro-nome. 🎶📱
- What’s a ghost’s favorite Subway sandwich? A phantom footlong. 👻🥖
- I got fired from my job at Subway today. Turns out “extra meat” has a very different definition in the employee handbook. 🤨
- I tried to make a Subway sandwich at home. It was a total subpar experience. 😔🥪
- Two guys walk into a Subway… and order a foot long sandwich. (It’s a low-hanging fruit kind of day.) 😌
- I used to work at Subway but got fired for moving too slow. They said I wasn’t meating their expectations. 🐌
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