99+ Cannon Jokes & Puns: You’ll Blast Off Laughing!
Get ready to laugh your cannons off! 😂 This post is loaded with the best cannon puns and jokes – a veritable arsenal of humor! We’ve got clever wordplay, silly setups, and jokes that are perfect for kids. So, whether you’re a pun enthusiast or just looking for some family-friendly fun, fire away and enjoy this explosive list of jokes! 💣
Top Cannon Jokes – Best Picks
- Why did the cannon blush? It saw the pirate’s powder!
- What’s a pirate’s favorite type of music? Anything with a good cannon-do attitude!
- A cannonball walks into a bar… The bartender says, “Hey, we have a drink named after you!” The cannonball says, “You have a drink called Bob?”
- What’s a cannon’s favorite cereal? Grape-shot!
- You know, cannons are very polite… They always ask, “May I have your attention, please?” before firing.
- What do you call a cannon that’s always getting into trouble? A loose cannon! (Classic, but a must-have!)
- Why did the cannon get sent to his room? He kept firing off his mouth.
- How do you fix a cracked cannon? With a cannonball of glue!
- I used to work in a cannonball factory… It was a pretty boring job, just the same thing day after day. Very repetitive.
- Why don’t they allow cannons at the beach? Because they like to shell-ebrate!
- How do you make a cannonball float? Add a scoop of ice cream and call it a cannon-float!
- Why did the pirate captain always bring a cannon to bed? He wanted to wake up to a big BANG!
- What’s the most dangerous thing about a pirate with a phone? They always have cannons of selfies!
Clever Cannon Puns – Best Picks
- What do you call a cannon that’s always on time? A punctual cannon.
- Why did the cannon blush? It saw the fireworks and realized it had a short fuse.
- Did you hear about the cannon that went to art school? It makes quite the statement.
- What’s a cannon’s favorite type of music? Anything with a big bang.
- Why don’t they allow cannons at the beach? They like to shell-ebrate a little too loudly.
- My friend tried to convince me cannons are harmless. I told him, “Don’t be absurd. That’s cannon sense!”
- What’s a cannonball’s favorite game show? Wall of Fortune!
- I tried to have a conversation with a cannon the other day. Turns out, it only understands one word: “Fire!”
- Why did the cannon get disqualified from the race? It jumped the gun.
- My grandpa named his cannon “Grandpa Clock.” He says it’s because it goes, “BOOM… Time to get up!”
- Why are cannons such bad dancers? They have no rhythm; it’s all boom, boom, boom!
- How do cannons greet each other? “Hey there, long time no boom!”
- I wrote a song about a cannon yesterday. It has a very explosive chorus.
- Why are cannons so good at problem-solving? They always come up with a booming solution.
Funny Cannon One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Cannon Jokes
- I tried to make a cannon out of spaghetti… I should’ve known it was just a noodle weapon.
- Why don’t shrimp share their cannons? They’re shellfish.
- That pirate captain sure loves his job. You could say he’s got a real cannon-do attitude.
- I wanted to start a cannon-making business, but I just didn’t have the firepower.
- The cannon auditioned for the orchestra, but it played a very flat note. Turns out, it was a bit out of tune-nel.
- I saw a cannon trying to buy a soda. It was having trouble reaching the button. Guess it was a little short-fused.
- Two cannons got married yesterday. The reception was absolute fire.
- What do you get when you cross a cannon and a tree? I don’t know, but it would probably spruce up your landscaping.
- That cannonball is really bad at poker. It always folds under pressure.
- I wrote a song about a cannonball, but it just wouldn’t launch. It needed more momentum.
- What do you call a cannon that’s always getting into trouble? A loose cannon. (Okay, that one’s a classic).
- My friend tripped and fell on the cannon. I guess you could say he had a blasting time.
- The cannon felt insecure next to the tank. He said, “Man, I wish I had a body like that.”
Cannon QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Cannon
- Q: Why did the cannon blush? A: It saw the fireworks and thought they were to die for!
- Q: What’s a cannon’s favorite type of music? A: Anything with a BANGin’ beat!
- Q: Why did the cannonball get detention? A: It was caught loitering on the battlefield!
- Q: What do you get if you cross a cannon and a parrot? A: I don’t know, but when it talks, you better listen!
- Q: Why is the cannon always invited to parties? A: Because it knows how to make an entrance!
- Q: What did the cannon say to the pirate? A: “Fire in the hole…matey!”
- Q: What’s a cannon’s favorite board game? A: Risk… because it’s all about world domination!
- Q: Why did the cannon refuse to go to therapy? A: It said, “I’m already good at bottling up my emotions!”
- Q: What do you call a lazy cannon? A: A loose cannon… because it’s always off duty!
- Q: How do cannons greet each other? A: “Well, fire me up! Long time no see!”
- Q: What’s a cannon’s favorite sport? A: Track and field… it loves a good shot put competition!
- Q: Why was the cannon always getting into trouble? A: It had a real short fuse!
- Q: What’s a cannon’s worst nightmare? A: A misfire… that’s the definition of a bad day!
- Q: What did the history book say about the shy cannon? A: It made quite an impact, even though it rarely went off!
Dad Jokes About Cannon: Pun-Filled Quips
- I told my son, “If you want to be a pirate, you gotta learn how to use a cannon!” He said, “Aye aye, Captain!” I told him, “No, you’ll only lose one eye, not both.”
- Why don’t they let cannons play cards? Because they always go off on a tangent.
- That new cannon operator is really getting on my nerves. He keeps firing blanks!
- What’s a cannon’s favorite metal band? AC/DC!
- My wife hates it when I use the antique cannon to launch t-shirts at concerts. She says I need to learn some projectile dis-shirtment.
- Just saw a cannon trying to hail a taxi. Guess it needed a lift.
- What do you get when you cross a cannon and a parrot? I don’t know, but you’d better listen to its wise squawks!
- Why did the cannonball get detention? It kept acting up in class.
- My history teacher asked, “What did they use before cannons?” Apparently, “Quiet please” wasn’t the right answer.
- They should make a movie about cannons. I bet it would be a real blast!
- Two cannonballs are lying in a field. One turns to the other and says, “Get a load of this guy!” and fires himself.
- Why is a cannon so loud? Because it has a big bang theory.
- I wanted to name my cannon “The Terminator,” but my wife said that was too on the nose.
- How can you tell a cannon is lying? You can see right through its cannon-esty.
- I bought a used cannon online, but it’s not what I expected. I guess you could say I got ripped off.
Cannon Jokes and Puns for Kids
- Why did the cannonball get detention? It kept flying off the handle!
- What music do pirates listen to when firing their cannons? Boom, boom, POW! 🎶
- What do you call a lazy cannonball? A slowpoke!
- Why did the cannon blush? Because it saw the fireworks! 😊
- What do you get if you cross a cannon and a parrot? I don’t know, but don’t try to teach it to talk! 🦜💥
- Knock, knock. > Who’s there? > Cannon. > Cannon who? > Cannon you hear me knocking?
- Why did the cannon get lost? It went down a dead end street!
- What did the baby cannon say to its mom? “I’m feeling a little fired up!” 🔥
- What’s a cannon’s favorite type of music? Heavy metal! 🤘
- Why don’t shrimp like cannons? They’re afraid of shellfish! 🦐
- Why did the cannon cross the playground? To get to the other slide!
- Why is it hard to have a conversation with a cannon? It only knows how to make a big BANG!
- What does the ocean say to a misbehaving cannon? “Hey! Quit splashing!” 🌊
- How do cannons say goodbye? “See you later, exploder!” 👋💥
Cannon Jokes and Puns for Elders
- Why did the retired general always carry WD-40 to the park? “Gotta keep those old cannons firing smoothly!” wink
- You know you’re getting old when… You remember when “firing someone” didn’t involve an HR complaint. Back in my day, it meant a cannon and a really bad attitude!
- My doctor told me I need to cut back on the red meat and cannon fire. Apparently, my cholesterol is “explosively high.”
- I told my grandson I used to fire cannons for the Queen. He said, “Wow, Grandma, you must be really old!” I said, “Listen kid, I still could! Now go fetch me me some gunpowder and grapeshot…”
- My wife accuses me of being tone deaf when I sing in the shower. I told her, “Darling, I hit those high notes like I’m aiming a cannon!”
- Why are pirates such bad singers? They’re always shooting their voices! (Get it? Like… cannon fire? I’ll be here all week.)
- I tried to join the historical reenactment society, but they rejected me. Apparently, I took the whole “loose cannon” persona a little too far. Whoops!
- My neighbor keeps complaining about my leaf blower. Says it’s too loud. I told him, “Listen pal, if you think this is loud, you should have heard me back in the day with my potato cannon!”
- They say money talks… But have you ever heard the sound of solid gold cannonballs hitting a vault? Now that’s a conversation starter!
- Tried online dating. My profile said, “Looking for someone who can handle my big guns…” Turns out, not everyone appreciates a good cannon pun. Who knew?
- My hip’s been acting up lately. Doctor says I’m like a misfiring cannon. Takes me ages to get going, and when I do, I just go “poof” instead of “BOOM!”
- I used to think I was indecisive… then I got a job restoring antique cannons. Let me tell you, picking the right shade of black paint is a process!
- I told my grandkids, “Back in my day, we didn’t have these fancy video games. We entertained ourselves with sticks, stones… and the occasional cannon.” Look, we didn’t have much, but we made our own fun!
- What’s a pirate’s favorite type of music? Anything with a really explosive beat!
Cannon Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media
- I tried to make a cannon fast. It just ended up canon-adjacent.
- You could say I’m obsessed with medieval weaponry, but I assure you, it’s just a passing cannon-fancy.
- I told my friend his historical facts about cannons were inaccurate. He recoiled in horror.
- Just saw a cannon wearing a beret and painting. Seems like quite the artsy cannon.
- My friend asked if I wanted to join the cannon club. I said, “Sure, fire away with the details!”
- What’s a pirate’s favorite type of music? Sea shanties and heavy metal… cannon beat that!
- Feeling stressed? Just picture yourself on a tropical beach, waves crashing… cannon hear any problems over that.
- I tried to have a conversation with a cannon. Turns out, it only speaks in boom-isms.
- My friend tripped and fell into a pile of cannons. I heard he’s got a lot of balls now.
- Tried to explain to a cannon why it shouldn’t be so negative. It just kept saying, “I dissent!”
- What do you call a cannon that’s always getting into trouble? A loose cannon! (Okay, that one’s a classic.)
- I tried to order a pizza, but they said they couldn’t deliver. Guess I’ll just have to cannon myself over there.
- What’s the most explosive job in the world? Working as a cannon instructor. They really take things to the next level.
- Life is like a cannon: aim for your dreams, fire away, and never look back…unless you forgot to put the fuse out.
That’s All, Folks! These Puns Were a Blast!
Well, that’s all folks! We hope these cannon-ballsy puns and jokes really hit the spot. If you’re looking for more explosive humor, be sure to blast over to our website – it’s loaded with puns that pack a punch!
