93+ Apres Ski Jokes & Puns: You’ll Be Slope-ing Over with Laughter
🎿 Get ready to clink your mugs and groan with laughter because it’s time for some après ski humor! 😂 We’ve got a slopeside stash of the best puns and jokes about après ski that are sure to entertain the whole family.👨👩👧👦 From clever quips to knee-slapping punchlines, this list of funny après ski jokes is the perfect way to keep the laughs going long after the lifts close. 💯 So grab your hot cocoa, get cozy, and prepare for some serious après ski amusement! 😄
Top Apres Ski Jokes – Best Picks
What do you call a snowman at an apres-ski party? A chilled-out dude.
I’m not saying the slopes were crowded, but I did high-five three people on the chairlift during apres-ski.
My friend told me I was too invested in apres-ski. I said, “Dude, I’m just here for the slopes… and the shots.”
Someone stole my skis at apres-ski. What a low. I mean seriously, how low can you get?
My doctor told me I shouldn’t mix skiing and drinking. So now I just do them both at the same time. Thanks, apres-ski!
Why was the snowman looking through the window at the apres-ski party? He was hoping to spot his frost mate.
I went to an apres-ski party with no music. It was just… silence.
How can you tell who’s a good skier at an apres-ski party? Don’t worry, they’ll tell you. Repeatedly.
Went to an apres-ski luau last night. It was quite the après-ski-tiki experience.
My friend said she was going to dress up as a black diamond slope for apres-ski. I said, “That’s a slippery slope.”
My ski instructor said I needed to find my center of gravity. So I went straight to the bar. Priorities, people. Apres-ski awaits!
Don’t worry about falling while you’re learning to ski. It’s the gracefully getting back up at apres-ski that’s tricky.
Clever Apres Ski Puns – Best Picks
“I’m so done with Apres-tentious ski outfits. Give me comfort over couture any day.”
“This hot toddy is giving me serious Apres-teem issues… because it’s SO good.”
“Don’t be a slope-snob! Apres-reciate everyone’s ski style, even the wobbly beginners.”
“My love life is like an Apres Ski playlist… full of cheesy hits and the occasional slow jam.”
“I only date skiers… it makes break-ups easier. I just say ‘Apres you!'”
“Just saw a snowman at the bar. Must be there for the Apres-slushie specials.”
“My doctor said I need to avoid dairy. Guess I’ll just have the Apres-tato skins.”
“My ski boots are killing me. I guess you could say I have a severe case of Apres-sure.”
“Don’t talk to me before my morning coffee… unless it’s about Apres-ski plans, then I’m all ears.”
“This mulled wine is so good, it’s practically Apres-criminal.”
“Went to a lecture about the history of skiing… turns out, Apres-ki parties have ALWAYS been a thing.”
Funny Apres Ski One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Apres Ski Jokes
I wanted to try the Apres Ski buffet, but the line was too steep.
My friend said Apres Ski was all about relaxing, but I was like, “Alp you right there!” I need another run!
I’m not sure what’s more impressive: skiing down a double black diamond or remembering what I did during Apres Ski.
My bank account after an Apres Ski session is basically on thin ice.
Someone stole my shoes at the Apres Ski bar. Guess I’ll just have to wine about it.
You know you’ve had a good Apres Ski when… you can’t remember if you even skied that day.
I’m calling my new ski-themed reggae band “Apres Shred.”
Just learned how to say “another round” in five languages. Thanks, Apres Ski!
Apres Ski is my favorite time of day… or is it night? I can never tell anymore.
Never underestimate the bonding power of shared ski stories and questionable dance moves at Apres Ski.
My love life is like an Apres Ski shot special: short, intense, and leaves me with a headache in the morning.
I’m not saying I’m bad at skiing, but I spend more time practicing my “falling gracefully” technique at Apres Ski.
Apres Ski QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Apres Ski
Q: What’s the official Apres Ski motto? A: “We came, we saw, we conifer!”
Q: Why don’t they serve seafood at Apres Ski? A: Because the prawns are always below sea level!
Q: What did the snowman say to his friend at Apres Ski? A: “Hey, wanna chill out later?”
Q: What’s a skier’s favorite type of music at Apres Ski? A: Anything with a good slope-hop rhythm!
Q: Why was the bartender nervous during Apres Ski? A: He was under a lot of piste-sure!
Q: Did you hear about the avalanche that ruined Apres Ski? A: Talk about a real party foul!
Q: Where do snow bunnies go after Apres Ski? A: To the hop-ital if they’ve had one too many carrots!
Q: Why did the ski instructor get kicked out of Apres Ski? A: He kept telling everyone to “hurry up and get wasted!”
Q: What do you call a bear at Apres Ski? A: A “polar” bear-tender!
Q: What should you do if you get cold at Apres Ski? A: Go stand in the corner, it’s always 90 degrees!
Q: Why don’t snowboarders like Apres Ski? A: They prefer to “shred” the night away!
Q: What’s the worst thing about Apres Ski? A: Trying to walk in ski boots after a few schnitzels!
Q: What do you call a group of skiers who sing karaoke at Apres Ski? A: A “slalom-phony” orchestra!
Q: How can you tell someone went a little too hard at Apres Ski? A: They’re still wearing their goggles…indoors.
Q: What happens at Apres Ski stays at Apres Ski… A: …until it ends up on someone’s “snowcial” media!
Dad Jokes About Apres Ski: Pun-Filled Quips
I wanted to try the après ski buffet, but the line was chalet-ing.
You know what they call après ski in Spain? “After ski, siesta time.”
I met a guy at après ski who claimed he was a professional yodeler. Turns out, he was just stringing me along.
My wife got mad when I told her I love après ski more than her. What can I say? The après ski life chose me.
I told my kids I was going après ski, but they could come if they were slope-ing off early from ski school.
I tried to pay for my drinks at après ski with my credit card, but they told me it was maxed out. Guess I went a little too “powder” crazy on this trip!
Why don’t snowboarders like après ski? Because they’d rather be board.
What’s the difference between a bad skier and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four after they après ski.
What music do they play at après ski? Anything from slope music to pop.
I used to go to this great little après ski bar called “The Slopes.” It’s closed now. It went downhill so fast.
Why did the snowman skip après ski? He didn’t want to go in while he was still a little slush-y.
My wife said I spent too much time at après ski on our last trip. She just needs to chill out.
What do you call it when you bring your pet dog to après ski? Apres-pooch party!
Apres Ski Jokes and Puns for Kids
Why did the snowman bring a ladder to the après ski party? He heard the drinks were on the house!
What do you call a snowman at an après ski party? A chill dude!
What’s an après ski instructor’s favorite drink? Cocoa-cola!
Why did the ski lift break down after the après ski party? It was exhausted from all the up-lifting music!
What do you get if you cross a snowman and a kangaroo? Frosty jumps!
What kind of music do they play at an après ski party for ghosts? Boo-gie woogie!
What’s a skier’s favorite type of pizza? Deep-dish, of course!
I saw a sign that said “Watch for skiers.” I thought, “That sounds like a fair trade!”
Why don’t skiers ever get lost? Because they love following the slopes!
What do you call a tired snowboarder? Bored to the slopes!
What do you sing at a snowman’s birthday après ski party? Freeze a jolly good fellow!
What’s a polar bear’s favorite après ski snack? Ice Krispies!
Why did the kids make a snowman on the ski slope? They wanted to chill with a cool dude!
Why did the snowman cross the road after the après ski party? To get to the other slide!
Apres Ski Jokes and Puns for Elders
Why did the elder refuse to share his après ski snacks? He was prostei-riously protective of his cheese.
I met a delightful woman at après ski. Turns out, she was a retired ski instructor. I guess you could say things are getting pretty sirious.
You know you’re getting old when… Après ski is more appealing than the actual skiing.
My doctor told me to take up skiing for my health. Now I just need six friends to carry me to après ski.
What’s the difference between a hip replacement and a good après ski bar? One is loud, crowded, and full of screws. The other is for dancing.
They say downhill skiing keeps you young. Maybe, but après ski is where I truly feel alive.
My grandson tried to teach me a new dance move at après ski. I told him, “In my day, we just called this ‘losing our balance’.”
What’s the only thing colder than the slopes? My wife when I spend all our money at après ski.
Used to be, après ski meant a hot toddy and a roaring fire. Now it’s craft cocktails and arguing about the Wi-Fi password.
I told my wife I was getting too old for black diamond runs. She suggested I stick to single malt at après ski.
Went to an après ski themed retirement home… The hot tub was filled with prune juice, and the Glühwein was lukewarm. Just like the real thing!
I told the bartender I wanted something to warm me up after a day on the slopes. He said, “You’re in the right place. My retirement fund depends on it.”
What’s the difference between a beginner skier and a seasoned vet at après ski? The beginner trips on the bunny slope, the vet on the bar stool.
I wanted to impress a group of youngsters at après ski with my skiing tales. Turns out, they thought “telemarking” was a new app.
My wife says I’m addicted to après ski. But honestly, at my age, I need something to look forward to after a nap.
Apres Ski Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media
Just spent all my money on ridiculously overpriced Apres Ski drinks. Guess you could say I’ve reached peak “Après-kward”. (Include a grimacing emoji 😬)
What happens when you bring a bear to Apres Ski? It turns into “Après-snooze.” ( Sleepy bear Emoji 🐻😴 )
“My ideal Apres Ski outfit: Anything with an elastic waistband.” (Add a relieved face emoji 😌)
You know you’re a true skier when “après-ski” is just a verb in your vocabulary. (Include a skiing emoji ⛷️)
“My bank account after Apres Ski is like a black diamond run… seriously scary.” (Add a shocked face emoji 😱)
What do you call a snowman at Apres Ski? Water he doing here? (Add a thinking face emoji 🤔)
“I only know one Apres Ski song and it’s “YMCA”… don’t judge me.” (Include a shrugging emoji 🤷♀️)
My love life is like Apres Ski in the summer… nonexistent. (Add a forlorn face emoji 😔)
That awkward moment when you realize you’re more coordinated on skis than you are walking in ski boots at Apres Ski. (Include a clumsy emoji 🤪)
I’m convinced “Apres Ski” is just French for “Let’s eat our weight in nachos.” (Add a nachos emoji 🧀)
“Apres Ski: Where the only thing steeper than the slopes is the price of a beer.” (Include a beer emoji 🍺)
“My New Year’s resolution was to be more ‘Apres’. Let’s ski!” (Add a clinking glasses emoji 🥂)
Ski You Later, The Après Jokes Are Done!
We hope these Apres Ski puns and jokes helped you carve up some laughs! If you’re looking for more slope-sided humor, slide on over to our website for a whole mountain range of funny puns and jokes. Trust us, it’s snow laughing matter!
