93+ Apres Ski Jokes & Puns: You’ll Be Slope-ing Over with Laughter
🎿 Get ready to clink your mugs and groan with laughter because it’s time for some après ski humor! 😂 We’ve got a slopeside stash of the best puns and jokes about après ski that are sure to entertain the whole family.👨👩👧👦 From clever quips to knee-slapping punchlines, this list of funny après ski jokes is the perfect way to keep the laughs going long after the lifts close. 💯 So grab your hot cocoa, get cozy, and prepare for some serious après ski amusement! 😄
Top Apres Ski Jokes – Best Picks
- Why did the ski instructor get lost on the mountain after the bar? He took “apres-ski” a little too literally.
- What do you call a snowman at an apres-ski party? A chilled-out dude.
- I’m not saying the slopes were crowded, but I did high-five three people on the chairlift during apres-ski.
- My friend told me I was too invested in apres-ski. I said, “Dude, I’m just here for the slopes… and the shots.”
- I met a fantastic bartender at apres-ski. Turns out, he’s a real diamond in the schnapps.
- What’s the difference between a beginner skier and a shot of tequila at apres-ski? Only one will make your legs burn. (Sometimes both.)
- Someone stole my skis at apres-ski. What a low. I mean seriously, how low can you get?
- My doctor told me I shouldn’t mix skiing and drinking. So now I just do them both at the same time. Thanks, apres-ski!
- Why was the snowman looking through the window at the apres-ski party? He was hoping to spot his frost mate.
- I went to an apres-ski party with no music. It was just… silence.
- How can you tell who’s a good skier at an apres-ski party? Don’t worry, they’ll tell you. Repeatedly.
- Went to an apres-ski luau last night. It was quite the après-ski-tiki experience.
- My friend said she was going to dress up as a black diamond slope for apres-ski. I said, “That’s a slippery slope.”
- My ski instructor said I needed to find my center of gravity. So I went straight to the bar. Priorities, people. Apres-ski awaits!
- Don’t worry about falling while you’re learning to ski. It’s the gracefully getting back up at apres-ski that’s tricky.

Clever Apres Ski Puns – Best Picks
- “I’m so done with Apres-tentious ski outfits. Give me comfort over couture any day.”
- “This hot toddy is giving me serious Apres-teem issues… because it’s SO good.”
- “Don’t be a slope-snob! Apres-reciate everyone’s ski style, even the wobbly beginners.”
- “Tried to cut the cheese at the Apres Ski party… turns out it was fondue. My bad.”
- “My love life is like an Apres Ski playlist… full of cheesy hits and the occasional slow jam.”
- “I only date skiers… it makes break-ups easier. I just say ‘Apres you!'”
- “Found a $5 bill on the lodge floor. Looks like Apres-perity is in the air!”
- “Just saw a snowman at the bar. Must be there for the Apres-slushie specials.”
- “My doctor said I need to avoid dairy. Guess I’ll just have the Apres-tato skins.”
- “My ski boots are killing me. I guess you could say I have a severe case of Apres-sure.”
- “Don’t talk to me before my morning coffee… unless it’s about Apres-ski plans, then I’m all ears.”
- “This mulled wine is so good, it’s practically Apres-criminal.”
- “Went to a lecture about the history of skiing… turns out, Apres-ki parties have ALWAYS been a thing.”
Funny Apres Ski One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Apres Ski Jokes
- I wanted to try the Apres Ski buffet, but the line was too steep.
- My friend said Apres Ski was all about relaxing, but I was like, “Alp you right there!” I need another run!
- I’m not sure what’s more impressive: skiing down a double black diamond or remembering what I did during Apres Ski.
- My bank account after an Apres Ski session is basically on thin ice.
- Someone stole my shoes at the Apres Ski bar. Guess I’ll just have to wine about it.
- You know you’ve had a good Apres Ski when… you can’t remember if you even skied that day.
- I went to an Apres Ski party where everyone was wearing neon. Turned out it was just a slopeside rave.
- I’m calling my new ski-themed reggae band “Apres Shred.”
- Just learned how to say “another round” in five languages. Thanks, Apres Ski!
- Apres Ski is my favorite time of day… or is it night? I can never tell anymore.
- Never underestimate the bonding power of shared ski stories and questionable dance moves at Apres Ski.
- My love life is like an Apres Ski shot special: short, intense, and leaves me with a headache in the morning.
- I’m not saying I’m bad at skiing, but I spend more time practicing my “falling gracefully” technique at Apres Ski.
Apres Ski QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Apres Ski
- Q: What’s the official Apres Ski motto? A: “We came, we saw, we conifer!”
- Q: Why don’t they serve seafood at Apres Ski? A: Because the prawns are always below sea level!
- Q: What did the snowman say to his friend at Apres Ski? A: “Hey, wanna chill out later?”
- Q: What’s a skier’s favorite type of music at Apres Ski? A: Anything with a good slope-hop rhythm!
- Q: Why was the bartender nervous during Apres Ski? A: He was under a lot of piste-sure!
- Q: Did you hear about the avalanche that ruined Apres Ski? A: Talk about a real party foul!
- Q: Where do snow bunnies go after Apres Ski? A: To the hop-ital if they’ve had one too many carrots!
- Q: Why did the ski instructor get kicked out of Apres Ski? A: He kept telling everyone to “hurry up and get wasted!”
- Q: What do you call a bear at Apres Ski? A: A “polar” bear-tender!
- Q: What should you do if you get cold at Apres Ski? A: Go stand in the corner, it’s always 90 degrees!
- Q: Why don’t snowboarders like Apres Ski? A: They prefer to “shred” the night away!
- Q: What’s the worst thing about Apres Ski? A: Trying to walk in ski boots after a few schnitzels!
- Q: What do you call a group of skiers who sing karaoke at Apres Ski? A: A “slalom-phony” orchestra!
- Q: How can you tell someone went a little too hard at Apres Ski? A: They’re still wearing their goggles…indoors.
- Q: What happens at Apres Ski stays at Apres Ski… A: …until it ends up on someone’s “snowcial” media!
Dad Jokes About Apres Ski: Pun-Filled Quips
- I wanted to try the après ski buffet, but the line was chalet-ing.
- You know what they call après ski in Spain? “After ski, siesta time.”
- I met a guy at après ski who claimed he was a professional yodeler. Turns out, he was just stringing me along.
- My wife got mad when I told her I love après ski more than her. What can I say? The après ski life chose me.
- I told my kids I was going après ski, but they could come if they were slope-ing off early from ski school.
- I tried to pay for my drinks at après ski with my credit card, but they told me it was maxed out. Guess I went a little too “powder” crazy on this trip!
- Why don’t snowboarders like après ski? Because they’d rather be board.
- What’s the difference between a bad skier and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four after they après ski.
- I saw a guy at après ski wearing one ski and using his ski pole as a cane. I asked him what happened. He said, “I don’t know, it just happened all of a sudden.”
- What music do they play at après ski? Anything from slope music to pop.
- I used to go to this great little après ski bar called “The Slopes.” It’s closed now. It went downhill so fast.
- Why did the snowman skip après ski? He didn’t want to go in while he was still a little slush-y.
- My wife said I spent too much time at après ski on our last trip. She just needs to chill out.
- What do you call it when you bring your pet dog to après ski? Apres-pooch party!
Apres Ski Jokes and Puns for Kids
- Why did the snowman bring a ladder to the après ski party? He heard the drinks were on the house!
- What do you call a snowman at an après ski party? A chill dude!
- What’s an après ski instructor’s favorite drink? Cocoa-cola!
- Why did the ski lift break down after the après ski party? It was exhausted from all the up-lifting music!
- What do you get if you cross a snowman and a kangaroo? Frosty jumps!
- What kind of music do they play at an après ski party for ghosts? Boo-gie woogie!
- What’s a skier’s favorite type of pizza? Deep-dish, of course!
- I saw a sign that said “Watch for skiers.” I thought, “That sounds like a fair trade!”
- Why don’t skiers ever get lost? Because they love following the slopes!
- What do you call a tired snowboarder? Bored to the slopes!
- What do you sing at a snowman’s birthday après ski party? Freeze a jolly good fellow!
- What’s a polar bear’s favorite après ski snack? Ice Krispies!
- Why did the kids make a snowman on the ski slope? They wanted to chill with a cool dude!
- Why did the snowman cross the road after the après ski party? To get to the other slide!
Apres Ski Jokes and Puns for Elders
- Why did the elder refuse to share his après ski snacks? He was prostei-riously protective of his cheese.
- I met a delightful woman at après ski. Turns out, she was a retired ski instructor. I guess you could say things are getting pretty sirious.
- You know you’re getting old when… Après ski is more appealing than the actual skiing.
- My doctor told me to take up skiing for my health. Now I just need six friends to carry me to après ski.
- What’s the difference between a hip replacement and a good après ski bar? One is loud, crowded, and full of screws. The other is for dancing.
- They say downhill skiing keeps you young. Maybe, but après ski is where I truly feel alive.
- My grandson tried to teach me a new dance move at après ski. I told him, “In my day, we just called this ‘losing our balance’.”
- What’s the only thing colder than the slopes? My wife when I spend all our money at après ski.
- Used to be, après ski meant a hot toddy and a roaring fire. Now it’s craft cocktails and arguing about the Wi-Fi password.
- I told my wife I was getting too old for black diamond runs. She suggested I stick to single malt at après ski.
- Went to an après ski themed retirement home… The hot tub was filled with prune juice, and the Glühwein was lukewarm. Just like the real thing!
- I told the bartender I wanted something to warm me up after a day on the slopes. He said, “You’re in the right place. My retirement fund depends on it.”
- What’s the difference between a beginner skier and a seasoned vet at après ski? The beginner trips on the bunny slope, the vet on the bar stool.
- I wanted to impress a group of youngsters at après ski with my skiing tales. Turns out, they thought “telemarking” was a new app.
- My wife says I’m addicted to après ski. But honestly, at my age, I need something to look forward to after a nap.
Apres Ski Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media
- “I’m so down for Apres Ski, I might as well change my name to Apres You.” (Use with a winking emoji 😉 )
- Just spent all my money on ridiculously overpriced Apres Ski drinks. Guess you could say I’ve reached peak “Après-kward”. (Include a grimacing emoji 😬)
- “Tried explaining Apres Ski to my dog. He just wagged his tail and brought me his frisbee. Guess you could say he’s more of an ‘Après-fetch’ kinda pup. (Add a dog emoji 🐶)
- What happens when you bring a bear to Apres Ski? It turns into “Après-snooze.” ( Sleepy bear Emoji 🐻😴 )
- “My ideal Apres Ski outfit: Anything with an elastic waistband.” (Add a relieved face emoji 😌)
- You know you’re a true skier when “après-ski” is just a verb in your vocabulary. (Include a skiing emoji ⛷️)
- “My bank account after Apres Ski is like a black diamond run… seriously scary.” (Add a shocked face emoji 😱)
- What do you call a snowman at Apres Ski? Water he doing here? (Add a thinking face emoji 🤔)
- “I only know one Apres Ski song and it’s “YMCA”… don’t judge me.” (Include a shrugging emoji 🤷♀️)
- My love life is like Apres Ski in the summer… nonexistent. (Add a forlorn face emoji 😔)
- That awkward moment when you realize you’re more coordinated on skis than you are walking in ski boots at Apres Ski. (Include a clumsy emoji 🤪)
- I’m convinced “Apres Ski” is just French for “Let’s eat our weight in nachos.” (Add a nachos emoji 🧀)
- “Apres Ski: Where the only thing steeper than the slopes is the price of a beer.” (Include a beer emoji 🍺)
- “My New Year’s resolution was to be more ‘Apres’. Let’s ski!” (Add a clinking glasses emoji 🥂)
Ski You Later, The Après Jokes Are Done!
We hope these Apres Ski puns and jokes helped you carve up some laughs! If you’re looking for more slope-sided humor, slide on over to our website for a whole mountain range of funny puns and jokes. Trust us, it’s snow laughing matter!