101+ Black Friday Jokes & Puns: Shop ‘Til You Drop (Laughing)!
Get ready to laugh your shopping carts off because it’s time for the funniest deals of the year… on jokes! 😂 We’ve got a best-of list of side-splitting Black Friday jokes and puns so clever, they’ll have you rolling on the floor laughing (and hopefully not getting trampled by eager shoppers!). Whether you’re a kid or just a kid at heart, get ready for some hilarious humor about everyone’s favorite day for doorbuster deals (and, let’s be honest, some epic shopping fails). 🤪
Top Black Friday Jokes – Best Picks
- Why don’t they have Black Friday in Antarctica? Because penguins are excellent at handling their shopping “cold” turkey!
- What’s the difference between a Black Friday shopper and a zombie? One groans for brains, the other groans for a bargain.
- My wife told me I could choose between going to her family’s for Thanksgiving or braving Black Friday… Tough choice, but at least there’s a guarantee of leftovers at the mall.
- Son: “Dad, what’s Black Friday?” Dad: “Well, it’s the day after Thanksgiving when everyone shops for Christmas presents.” Son: “But isn’t Thanksgiving already in November?” Dad: “Exactly.”
- I’m starting a support group for husbands dragged to Black Friday shopping… It’s called “Men Without Shopping Carts.”
- I got into a fight at a Black Friday sale. It all started over a miscommunication… Apparently, “take what you want” doesn’t apply to retail.
- Breaking News: Local man arrested after trying to use “The Force” to push people out of the way for a Black Friday deal. Authorities say the shoppers were “a little short to be Jedi.”
- Why did the turkey cross the road on Black Friday? To prove he wasn’t chicken!
- My bank account on Black Friday is like a horror movie… You know something bad is going to happen, but you just can’t look away.
- Just saw an elderly couple holding hands at the mall on Black Friday… So sweet! They found love in a hopeless place.
- How do you make a small fortune on Black Friday? Start with a large fortune.
- My wife told me to dress for the Black Friday deals I wanted… So I showed up in a police uniform, a fireman’s outfit, and a Santa suit. I’m bound to get something!
- They say money talks… But all mine ever says on Black Friday is “Goodbye.”
- I’m convinced that Black Friday is just a social experiment… To see how much people will endure for a discounted toaster.
- What do you call an elf who sings and dances for discounts? An Elfis Presley Black Friday Special!
Clever Black Friday Puns – Best Picks
- My bank account after Black Friday? More like Blank Friday. 💸
- Tried to explain to my dog why everyone’s going crazy for Black Friday. He just looked at me like, “Every day is Black Furday in my book!” 🐶
- I only shop ethically sourced deals on Black Friday. You could say I’m a Black Fri-fair shopper. 🌎
- They arrested someone at the mall for cutting the Black Friday line. Turns out it was a black market deal gone wrong. 👮♀️
- My credit card company calls this week “Black Friday.” I call it “Their Friday.” 😏
- Instead of Black Friday, can we call it “Slightly Darker Grey Friday” to be more inclusive of all the other sale days? 🌈
- I’m starting a metal band called “Black Friday Riot” so I can scream deals instead of lyrics. 🤘
- This Black Friday, I’m boycotting all stores that don’t offer deals on black holes. They’re always severely marked up! 🌌
- My therapist told me to avoid Black Friday this year for my stress levels. Guess I’ll just have to “deal” with it. 😌
- Don’t tell my wife, but I told the credit card company that my Black Friday purchases were “essential oils.” 🤫
- Black Friday shopping: the only time it’s socially acceptable to trample someone for a discounted toaster. 🍞
- The only thing I’m “blacking out” on this Black Friday is the amount I spent on my credit card statement. 🙈
- They say orange is the happiest color. But on Black Friday, it’s clearly “deal” red. 🏷️
Funny Black Friday One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Black Friday Jokes
- I’m not saying I’m obsessed with Black Friday deals, but I already booked a spot in line for next year… in my will.
- My bank account on Black Friday is like a horror movie… always red by the end.
- They said the deals were “doorbuster” quality. Turns out, they meant the doors of the store were busted from the crowds.
- Forget Black Friday, I’m waiting for “Credit Card Amnesty” Monday.
- I’m so broke after Black Friday, I can’t even afford to pay attention.
- My online shopping cart on Black Friday is like my hopes and dreams… constantly crashing under pressure.
- People who shop on Black Friday are either incredibly strong… or incredibly stupid. Or both.
- My strategy for surviving Black Friday? I send my husband. With a blindfold. And a 10-dollar bill.
- Black Friday: Because nothing says “Happy Holidays” like a good old-fashioned fistfight over a discounted toaster.
- I’m just thankful Black Friday only happens once a year. My sanity couldn’t handle it otherwise.
- Just saw someone return a half-eaten fruitcake from last year. It’s gonna be a wild Black Friday, folks.
- Wife: “Honey, it’s Black Friday!” Me: “So is every other Friday if you ask our credit card company.”
- My therapist suggested I find healthy coping mechanisms for Black Friday. So, I bought a weighted blanket… on sale, of course.
- Sleeping through Black Friday is my favorite tradition. It’s called inner peace, people.
- Someone asked me what I got on Black Friday. I told them a restraining order. Turns out those doorbuster deals are serious business.
Black Friday QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Black Friday
- Q: What’s a Black Friday shopper’s favorite dance move? A: The Running-Man-With-A-Shopping-Cart!
- Q: Why did the credit card break up with the shopaholic on Black Friday? A: It said, “I’ve reached my limit! It’s not me, it’s you!”
- Q: How do you know you’re at a REAL Black Friday sale? A: The only thing cheaper than the TVs are the shoppers’ dignity!
- Q: What do you call a Black Friday shopper who’s always second in line? A: Dis-counted!
- Q: What did the zen master say about Black Friday shopping? A: “Let the deals come to you… or at least find a good parking spot.”
- Q: Why don’t they play chess at Walmart on Black Friday? A: Too many pawns!
- Q: How is a Black Friday crowd like a herd of sheep? A: They both follow the shepherd… who’s yelling about 90% off!
- Q: What’s a shopaholic’s favorite type of music on Black Friday? A: Anything with a catchy discount code in the lyrics!
- Q: What’s the difference between a marathon runner and a Black Friday shopper? A: One trains for months to get a discount…the other just camps out for a week.
- Q: Why are ghosts such bad Black Friday shoppers? A: They can’t tell if they’re getting a boo-tiful deal or not!
- Q: What do you call it when a bunch of mime artists go Black Friday shopping? A: A silent (but violent) night!
- Q: Did you hear about the guy who got a fantastic deal on a boat on Black Friday? A: They say it was a real steal-of-a-deal!
- Q: Why don’t scientists go Black Friday shopping? A: They believe the chaos can’t be explained by the laws of physics!
Dad Jokes About Black Friday: Pun-Filled Quips
- Why don’t they ever have sales on calendars during Black Friday? Because the days are always numbered!
- I wanted to buy a camouflage outfit for Black Friday, but I couldn’t find any.
- Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants to Black Friday? In case he got a hole-in-one!
- Someone stole my credit card on Black Friday… I haven’t used it all week, I’m enjoying watching them rack up the charges!
- My wife said I could go shopping on Black Friday if I wanted. I told her, “No way, the line is way too long!”
- What’s black and white, and read all over people fighting over a discounted TV on Black Friday? The newspaper the next day!
- My wife loves Black Friday sales as much as I do. Which is to say, not a lot!
- Instead of “Black Friday,” they should call it “Rainbow Friday.” Because by the time I’m done fighting the crowds, I’ll be seeing every color imaginable!
- Why did the computer go to the doctor on Black Friday? Because it had a Gigabyte!
- Don’t tell my wife, but I got her a treadmill for Black Friday… I’m hiding it in the cake!
- I only shop at the most expensive stores on Black Friday. That way I don’t find any bargains and I can be home by lunch!
- I saw a sign that said “Black Friday: 99% off everything!” Turns out, the “99” was just a price tag for a bottle of water.
Black Friday Jokes and Puns for Kids
- Why did the turkeys cross the road on Black Friday? 🦃 > To prove they weren’t chicken! 🐔
- What’s black, white, and red all over? > A zebra on Black Friday who got trampled trying to get a deal! 🦓
- What color is Black Friday? > Usually green… because everyone is trying to save money! 💵
- What did the math book say to the wallet on Black Friday? > Hey, you better watch your decimals! 😉
- Why was the teddy bear sad on Black Friday? > Because he was bear-ly able to find his size in the big sale! 🧸
- What’s a pirate’s favorite shopping day? > Black Fri-day, Arrr! 🏴☠️
- Why do ghosts love Black Friday sales? > Because they can get everything at a boo-tiful discount! 👻
- What’s a cat’s favorite sale? > A mega-meow-nster sale! 😹
- Why did the crayon get a job at the toy store? > To help with the Black Friday coloring rush! 🖍️
- What do you get if you cross a shopping cart and a race car? > The fastest way to win Black Friday deals! 🛒🏎️💨
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms on Black Friday? > Because they make up everything! 🧪
- What should you do if you see a sale you can’t resist? > Lego of your money! 🤪
- Why did the snowman skip Black Friday? > He didn’t want to melt under pressure! ☃️
- Remember kids, the real treasure on Black Friday isn’t things, it’s… > Spending time with the people you love! ❤️
Black Friday Jokes and Puns for Elders
- You know you’re getting old when “Black Friday” makes you think of the clearance sale on prune juice.
- My grandson tried to explain the concept of “doorbusters” to me. I told him, in my day, if someone busted down your door on Black Friday, you called the police, not a sales associate.
- I tried to explain to my grandkids that back in my day, Black Friday deals weren’t online. They looked at me like I just told them we used carrier pigeons for internet.
- I don’t need fast reflexes for the Black Friday sales anymore. I just send in my grandkids. I call it “Operation Tiny Terror.”
- I remember when the only thing “black” about Black Friday was the coffee I drank after staying up all night making Thanksgiving dinner.
- My retirement plan hinges on finding a vintage collectible at a steal on Black Friday. They call it “investing.” I call it “last-ditch effort.”
- These days, the only thing I’m fighting for on Black Friday is a comfortable place to sit down at the mall.
- I’m boycotting Black Friday this year. Not for political reasons, mind you. I just can’t remember where I put my dentures.
- I used to think Black Friday was crazy. Now, I realize it’s just nice to have an excuse to use the “Excuse Me, Coming Through!” elbows I learned in line at the DMV.
- The only thing getting trampled during my Black Friday shopping is the volume button on my hearing aid.
- What’s black and white and red all over? The newspaper circular the day after you realize you spent too much on Black Friday.
- You know you’re old when your idea of a “doorbuster” is the arthritis kicking in when you get out of bed.
- They say Black Friday is the busiest shopping day of the year. In my house, it’s a tie between that and the day the Werther’s Originals go on sale.
- I’m not sure what’s more shocking these days: Black Friday prices or the fact that they make phones nowadays that aren’t attached to a wall.
- Back in my day, we didn’t have fancy names for sales. If you wanted something cheap, you waited for it to go out of style, just like Grandma’s dentures!
Black Friday Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media
- Why don’t they ever have Black Friday sales at the Black Hole? Because they always suck you dry.
- My bank account on Black Friday is like a fragile Christmas ornament… One wrong move and it’s shattered.
- Just saw a guy arrested for stealing things out of people’s carts on Black Friday. They charged him with shopping cart abandonment issues.
- Me: “I’m staying home this Black Friday.” My credit card: “That’s the smartest thing I’ve ever heard.”
- I’m not saying I’m addicted to Black Friday shopping, but… I already have a tent set up in the parking lot for next year.
- What’s the difference between a zombie apocalypse and Black Friday? The mall has better deals on Black Friday.
- Found an amazing deal on Black Friday: 50% off therapy sessions. Looks like I’ll need them after today.
- Wife: “Honey, it’s Black Friday. Are you sure you grabbed everything on my list?” Husband: “Yep, got your coffee and my six-pack of beer.”
- My therapist told me to avoid stressful situations. So I’m skipping Black Friday and Cyber Monday… And going straight to broke Tuesday.
- Sleep? Who needs sleep on Black Friday? Just give me coffee and a cattle prod.
- Just saw a sign that said “Black Friday: Prices so low, they’re practically illegal!” Now I’m wondering what I’m actually buying…
- Black Friday is the only day of the year where it’s socially acceptable to elbow a grandmother for a discounted toaster.
- My bank account is about to go from “Black Friday” to “Bleak Future.”*
- Wife: “How much did you spend on Black Friday?” Husband: “Do you want the long or the ATM receipt version?”
Deals darker than my soul? See ya next year!
We hope these Black Friday jokes and puns helped you “shop” your worries away! If you’re still hungry for more laughs, don’t worry, we’ve got you covered like a doorbuster deal. Head over to our website for a treasure trove of hilarious puns and jokes that are guaranteed to keep you chuckling long after the shopping frenzy ends.
