101+ Armadillo Jokes & Puns: Get Your Shell Laugh On!
Get ready to chuckle and chortle with the best π armadillo jokes this side of the Rio Grande! This list of puns and funny armadillo jokes is perfect for kids (and kids at heart! π). We’ve got more clever quips about these armored critters than you can shake a scaly tail at. So, saddle up, and get ready for some wild wordplay. You’re gonna love these! π
Top Armadillo Jokes – Best Picks
- Why did the armadillo cross the road? To prove to the chicken it could be done without flying!
- What do you call a slow armadillo? A snail with armor!
- Why did the armadillo get bad grades? He kept on shell-shocking himself during tests!
- What’s an armadillo’s favorite sport? Bowling, they’re great with spares!
- What do you get if you cross an armadillo and a skunk? I don’t know, but it sure won’t win any popularity contests!
- How can you tell an armadillo is lying? His lips are sealed! (Get it? Because of the shell!)
- Why are armadillos such good gamblers? They’re always willing to roll the dice!
- What’s the difference between an armadillo and a porcupine? With an armadillo, you have to look out for the tail-end of the problem!
- What do you call a group of armadillos in armor? A knight club!
- Why was the armadillo sad? He had a shell-fish allergy!
- What’s an armadillo’s favorite song? “I Get Around” by the Beach Boys!
- Why don’t armadillos play pool? They always scratch with their shells!
- What did the armadillo say at the job interview? “I’m ready to roll up my sleeves… oh wait.”
- What do you call an armadillo who’s a lawyer? A suit of armor and litigation!
- How is an armadillo like a knight? They both have armored cars!

Clever Armadillo Puns – Best Picks
- “I tried to make armadillo soup once…” “It was tough going!”
- What do you call a group of armadillos who start a singing group? An armadi-duet!
- Why did the armadillo cross the road? To prove he wasn’t chicken!
- What do you call a lazy armadillo? A pro-crust-in-a-dillo!
- My friend told me armadillos are great dancers. I said, “Show me the arma-dillo!”
- I saw an armadillo at a rock concert last night. He was rolling to the music!
- How can you tell if an armadillo is camera shy? They always shell up!
- Why are armadillos such good poker players? They always keep their cards close to their chest plate!
- What do you call a fashionable armadillo? A trendar-dillo!
- Why did the armadillo get a job at the bank? He was great with his hard-earned cash!
- Whatβs an armadilloβs favorite genre of music? Heavy metal!
- What did the armadillo say to the jaguar? “Please don’t plate with your food!”
- An armadillo walks into a saloon, approaches the piano man and saysβ¦ βHey, you know any shell music?β
- What’s an armadillo’s favorite board game? Risk! Those guys are bold!
Funny Armadillo One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Armadillo Jokes
- I tried to make an armadillo cake, but I think I overcooked the shell.
- An armadillo walks into a saloon, tail a-twitching. Bartender says, “Hey, we got a drink named after you!” Armadillo replies, “What? You have a drink called Bob?”
- You know, armadillos are just mammals playing extreme hide-and-seek. They win every time!
- What did the armadillo say at the talent show? “Hope you like my shell-shocking performance!”
- Why did the armadillo get bad grades? He kept getting shell-shocked during exams.
- What did the armadillo say when he got arrested? “I plead the fifth… shell!”
- I thought I saw an armadillo wearing a tuxedo. Turned out, he was just going to the armadillo ball.
- Dating an armadillo is great! Built-in protection, and you always have someone to watch your back.
- Armadillos are surprisingly good dancers… they have all the right moves!
- My therapist told me to open up. So, I talked about my armadillo obsession. He just rolled his eyes.
- You know, armadillos are proof that you can polish a turd… or at least put armor on it.
- What do you call a slow armadillo? Shell-shocked!
Armadillo QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Armadillo
- Q: Why did the armadillo cross the road? A: To prove to the chicken it wasn’t chicken!
- Q: What do you get if you cross an armadillo and a detective? A: A hard-nosed caseworker!
- Q: Why don’t armadillos play football? A: They’re always getting called for unnecessary roughness!
- Q: What do you call a group of armadillos bowling? A: A rolling rumble!
- Q: Whatβs an armadilloβs favorite musical instrument? A: The castanets!
- Q: What did the armadillo say after winning the lottery? A: “Shell we tell anyone, or keep it under our hats?”
- Q: Where do sick armadillos go? A: To the arma-dillo-tor!
- Q: What’s an armadillo’s favorite board game? A: Risk… they love to take a roll!
- Q: What do you call an armadillo that can predict the future? A: An oracle-adillo!
- Q: Why did the armadillo refuse to share his cake? A: He was being shellfish!
- Q: What do you call a sleepy armadillo? A: A snooze-adillo!
- Q: What did the dad armadillo say to his kid before school? A: “Don’t forget, be brave and strong… be an armadillo!”
- Q: How do armadillos greet each other? A: “Give me a ‘high-five!'” …or maybe a “low-five?”
- Q: Why are armadillos such great dancers? A: They’ve got all those fancy footwork moves!
Dad Jokes About Armadillo: Pun-Filled Quips
- You know what they call a slow, clumsy armadillo? Arma-dill-don’t.
- An armadillo walked into a bar and asked for a drink. The bartender said, “Sorry, we don’t serve your type here.” The armadillo replied, “Hey, I’m arma-dill-igent! Give me a shot!”
- Why didn’t the armadillo win the race? He was too busy shell-abrating early.
- Heard about the armadillo who went to art school? He was an absolute master of shell-f-portraits.
- My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it. So I took it to the movies. It was a great dad-and-arma-dill-o date night!
- What’s an armadillo’s favorite kind of music? Anything shell-shocking!
- Why did the armadillo cross the road? To prove he wasnβt chicken-little!
- Whatβs an armadilloβs favorite genre of books? Shell-f Help!
- Why are armadillos such good gamblers? They always have an ace in the hole.
- I used to have an armadillo named Bob, but he ran away from home.
- Why are armadillos such good detectives? They always dig up the truth.
- I told my wife she should wear a helmet when sheβs near the armadillos. You know, for shell-f-preservation.
Armadillo Jokes and Puns for Kids
- Why was the armadillo always invited to parties? Because he was such a great dancer… he could really shell it!
- What do you call a very strong armadillo? An armor-plated hero!
- Why did the armadillo cross the road? To prove he wasn’t chicken!
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Armadillo. Armadillo who? Armadillo you like to play with me?
- What kind of music do armadillos listen to? Anything with a good beat!
- What’s an armadillo’s favorite type of candy? Anything caramel-filled!
- What does an armadillo use to surf the internet? Firefox… because they love digging!
- Why was the baby armadillo crying? He wanted his mommy-dillo!
- Why did the armadillo get bad grades? He was always getting lost in distraction!
- Where do armadillos go when they want to have fun? The ro-dillo-coaster at the amusement park!
- What do you call an armadillo that’s also a magician? An Amazing Dillo!
- How are armadillos like knights? They both wear armor!
- Why are armadillos such good detectives? They always dig up the clues!
Armadillo Jokes and Puns for Elders
- Why don’t armadillos play poker in Texas anymore? They say the game is “rigged” down there.
- An armadillo walks into a saloon, slams his fist on the bar and yells, “Get me a whiskey, and make it snappy! I’m tougher than a two-dollar steak.” The bartender, unimpressed, replies, “Tough talk for someone wearing a bulletproof vest.”
- You know you’re getting old whenβ¦ you start referring to your grandkids as “little armadillos,” because they’re always digging in your garden.
- My wife asked me to take her somewhere with “culture.” I took her armadillo watching. She wasn’t amused.
- I tried to make armadillo chili for the potluckβ¦ Let’s just say it didn’t go over well. Apparently, “an acquired taste” doesn’t belong on a casserole dish.
- Why are armadillos so bad at playing hide and seek? Have you seen them? They practically come camouflaged!
- Retirement is great! I get to sleep in, take it easy, and watch my stories on the History Channel… Even if nobody else believes I knew Davy Crockett and that armadillo that saved him at the Alamo.
- My doctor told me to add more “armor” to my diet. Guess I’ll be having armadillo burgers tonight!
- What do you call an armadillo who always takes things that arenβt his? A sticky-fingered bandit!
- I used to think my memory was goingβ¦ Then I realized I haven’t seen an armadillo in my backyard for over 30 years.
- What do you get if you cross a detective with an armadillo? A hard-nosed caseworker who always gets to the bottom of things.
- What’s the difference between an armadillo and a lawyer? One’s a nocturnal bottom feeder. The otherβ¦ well, you know.
- I just bought an armadillo racing form… Looks like I bet on the wrong horse.
- My grandson asked me why armadillos curl up in a ball. I told him they’re just practicing for their retirement years.
- Why did the armadillo cross the road? We may never know, but at least we know it wasn’t playing chicken.
Armadillo Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media
- Why don’t armadillos play pool? Because they always wear little armored vests! π
- An armadillo walks into a bar and asks, “Got any grub?” The bartender replies, “Sorry, we don’t serve food…you gotta eat on the shell-f!” π₯
- What’s an armadillo’s favorite dance move? The shell-shocker! πΆ
- My friend said he wanted to be reincarnated as an armadillo. I told him that was a shell of an idea. π
- I tried starting a dating app for armadillos, butβ¦ It was tough getting them out of their shells. π
- You know you’ve been playing too much Animal Crossing when… You start thinking about turning your house into an armadillo shell. π‘ #AnimalCrossing
- My therapist told me to embrace my vulnerabilities. So, I went out and bought a really cool armadillo suit. πͺ #therapyhumor
- What’s an armadillo’s favorite genre of music? Heavy metal! π€ #rockon
- What’s the difference between an armadillo and a bull? One charges with its head, the other rolls with its troubles. π€
- Tried to make friends with a group of armadillos, but… They just kept rolling their eyes at me. π #foreveralone
- Just ordered an armadillo online. I hope it arrives in one piece! π¦ #onlineshoppingfail
That’s All Folks! Don’t Be Shell-Shocked, Share the Laughter!
We hope these armadillo jokes have tickled your funny bone and left you feeling as pleased as a nine-banded armadillo with a full belly! Don’t let the laughter end here! Dig into more hilarious puns and jokes by exploring the rest of our punny website. You’re sure to find something that will make you shell-ebrate the joy of laughter!