145+ Grape Puns & Jokes: You’ve Heard of Wine Not? 🍇😂
Get ready to laugh your🍇 off because you’ve stumbled upon the best list of grape puns and jokes this side of the vineyard! 😂 This post is bursting with juicy humor, packed with clever puns, and overflowing with funny jokes about grapes – perfect for kids and adults alike. So grab a bowl of this positively punny goodness (and maybe some real grapes too 😉) and get ready for a grape time!
Top ‘Grape Jokes’ – Best Picks
- Why did the grape get lost in the supermarket? It couldn’t find its raisin for being there!
- What’s a grape’s least favorite music genre? Anything with too much whine!
- Did you hear about the grape who became a detective? He was always trying to unravel mysteries!
- Why was the grape embarrassed at the fruit stand? Because he knew everyone was looking at his juicier assets!
- How do grapes travel? They take the wine and dine train!
- What did the grape say to the raisin? “Hey! You look familiar, haven’t we met before?”
- I tried to make grape juice in the microwave… Turns out, it was a bad vintage.
- What do you call a grape that’s been knighted by the queen? Sir Chardonnay!
- How do you communicate with a grape? You have to speak their vine language!
- I went to a grape farm last weekend… It was vine-tastic!
- Why are grapes so bad at hide-and-seek? They always get caught in the bunch!
- What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
- What’s a grape’s favorite type of candy? Anything sour!
- What does a grape use to surf the internet? A wine-fi connection!
- Why did the grape get fired from his job at the bank? He kept raisin the interest rates!
- You know, I used to hate grapes… But then it just hit me: let it be.
- My friend said he was starting a grape farm, but I was skeptical… I told him, “I need to see it to be-leaf it!”
- What’s a grape’s favorite book? The Grapes of Wrath!
Clever ‘Grape Puns’ – Best Picks
- I tried to make grape juice, but I couldn’t quite concourd it. (Conquer/Concord grape)
- What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little whine.
- Did you hear about the grape that went to art school? It drew a still vine. (Still life)
- What does a grape use to surf the internet? A dial-up vine.
- Don’t tell secrets in a vineyard, the walls have ears of corn… and the grapes have eyes.
- I was going to make a salad with grapes, but it just felt too grape expectations.
- Never underestimate a grape, it’s always up to wine-ing ways. (Winning/wining)
- You know what my favorite music genre is? Anything grape-hop. (Hip-hop)
- What’s a grape’s favorite dance move? The grapevine.
- Those grapes are up to something, I can feel it in my vine-t. (Gut/vint)
- Life is like a box of grapes, you never know what you’re gonna get… but it’s probably delicious.
- That grape is so dramatic, it’s always making a big scene… or should I say, a big vineyard scene?
- I’m starting a band called “The Grapes of Wrath.” We’re a little sour.
- What do you call a grumpy green grape? A sour puss… or should we say, a sour pus-grape?!
- I was going to write a book about grapes, but I couldn’t think of a good plot… or should I say, a good vine-yard?
- What’s purple and goes “Thump, thump, thump”? A grape rolling down a hill.
Funny ‘Grape One-Liner Jokes’ – Short & Funny Grape Jokes
- I tried to make wine from my neighbor’s grapes, but it turned out he’s got a real sour disposition.
- Breaking news: Local winemaker arrested, police say he’s the ringleader of a grape conspiracy.
- Did you hear about the grape that went to drama school? It really blossomed on stage.
- I’m feeling grapeful for automatic grape peelers, they save me a bunch of time.
- My grandpa used to say, “Life is like a box of grapes, you never know what you’re gonna get.” I think he just really liked grapes.
- Just saw a sign that said “Caution: Falling Grapes.” Seems like a bunch of baloney to me.
- Dating a raisin is tough, they’ve got so much baggage. You could say they’re stuck in the grape past.
- I wanted to write a song about grapes, but I couldn’t find the right chardonnay.
- What does a grape say when it gets stepped on? Nothing, it just lets out a little whine.
- Don’t be such a sour grape, things could be worse! You could be a raisin.
- My dream job? Wine taster. It’s just my grape-itude for good drinks.
- I’m starting a grape-themed band called “The Wine-Nots.” We’re gonna be huge!
- My kid refused to eat his grapes. What a missed jam session, if you ask me.
- You know what they say: “When life gives you grapes, make grape soda!” Or, you know, wine.
- I saw a grape wearing a helmet and knee pads earlier. He looked really prepared for a roll down a hill.
- Some people collect stamps, I collect grape soda bottles. It’s a pretty niche hobby.
Grape QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Grape
- Q: What’s a grape’s favorite type of music? A: Anything with a good beat…and vine! 🎶
- Q: Why did the grape get lost in the supermarket? A: It couldn’t find its way back to the bunch! 🛒
- Q: What do you call a grape that’s been knighted by the Queen? A: Sir-acha! 👑🌶️
- Q: Why did the grape get sent to the principal’s office? A: For starting a food fight…it was a real grape-vine brawl! 🍇💥
- Q: How does a grape answer the phone? A: Yellow? It’s grape! 📞
- Q: What’s a grape’s favorite dance move? A: The tango! They’re always up for a little grape-tivity! 💃🍇
- Q: What do you get if you cross a grape with a dog? A: A berry, berry good boy! 🐶🍇
- Q: Why are grapes such bad liars? A: Because they always let the cat out of the bag…of grapes! 🤫😸🍇
- Q: What do you call a grape that loves to sing in the shower? A: A shower grape-er! 🎤🚿🍇
- Q: How do grapes make important decisions? A: They have a com-pote to discuss things! 🤝🍇
- Q: What’s a grape’s favorite game show? A: Price is Grape! 💰🍇
- Q: Why did the grape get a job at the library? A: It heard they had a grape-vine collection of books! 📚🍇
- Q: What do you call a group of grapes that are always getting into trouble? A: A bunch of bad seeds! 😈🍇
- Q: How do grapes apologize after an argument? A: They say, “I guess I was wine-ing too much!” 🍷😔🍇
- Q: What do you call a grape that’s really good at math? A: A calcul-grape! 🧮🍇
- Q: What’s a grape’s favorite board game? A: Sorry! They always land on the “sour grapes” space! 🍇🎲
- Q: What did the grape say to the apple when it fell out of the tree? A: “Looks like you’ve got a core issue there, buddy!” 🍎🍇
- Q: Why don’t grapes like to share their toys? A: They’re always a little grape-ty! 🍇🧸
- Q: What’s a grape’s favorite type of car? A: A grape-mobile! Beeeep Beeep! 🚗🍇
Dad Jokes About Grape: Pun-Filled Quips
- I just saw a truckload of grapes in a ditch! It was grape-ful nobody was hurt.
- My wife told me to take the grapes out of the freezer. I said, “But honey, they’re already frozen grapes!”
- What do you call a grape that’s a sore loser? A sour grape!
- What’s purple and flies through the air? A grape-ellant!
- I tried to make grape juice in the microwave… It turned into wine! I guess I grape-set my expectations.
- What does a grape say when it gets stepped on? Nothing, it just lets out a little whine!
- I used to work at a grape juice factory, but I got canned… I couldn’t con-centrate!
- I went to a grape-themed art exhibition. Turns out it was just a bunch of still wines.
- If you step on a grape, does it become wine? No, but it’ll definitely leave a stain!
- Why did the grape get lost in the supermarket? He couldn’t find his raisin d’être!
- My son asked me, “Dad, are grapes made of rubber?” I said, “No, son. That’s pre-posterous!”
- I tried to make grape jam last night, but I didn’t strain the seeds. Now it’s just a bunch of grape jelly-conspirators.
- What did the daddy grape say to the baby grape who was afraid of the dark? “Don’t worry, there’s nothing to wine about.”
- If two grapes get married, what music do they play at the reception? Anything but heavy metal – they like their music grape and mellow!
- I tried to write a song about grapes, but I couldn’t get past the first measure. Guess I hit a sour note.
- What did the police say to the stolen grapes? “We’ve got you surrounded, it’s time to raisin your hands!”
- A grape walks into a doctor’s office and says, “Doc, I think I’m dying! I’ve got this terrible rash!” The doctor looks him over and says, “Don’t worry, it’s only a wine-flection.”
- Why don’t they play poker in the vineyard? Because the stakes are too high!
Grape Jokes and Puns for Kids
- What’s a grape’s favorite type of music? Anything berry good!
- What did the baby grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
- Why didn’t the grape do well in school? Because it kept getting stuck in raisin its hand!
- What do you call a grumpy grape? A sour puss!
- How do grapes travel on water? They sail on wine-derful grape ships!
- Why did the grape get lost in the forest? It followed a winding path!
- Knock knock! Who’s there? Grape. Grape who? Grape to see you!
- Why are grapes so good at basketball? They’re always dribbling!
- What did the mama grape say to her kids? “Behave or you’ll turn into raisins!”
- Why don’t grapes tell secrets? Because they always wined up getting out!
- What do you get if you cross a grape and a lion? I don’t know, but I wouldn’t want to wine about it!
- What’s purple and likes to sing in the shower? A grape-a-oke star!
- Why did the grape cross the road? To prove he wasn’t a chicken!
- What did the ocean say to the grape? Nothing, it just waved!
- What do you call a grape that’s really good at karate? A black belt!
- How do you make a grape juice box? Give it lots of grape expectations!
- What did the grape say to the bully? “Leave me alone!”
- Why did the grapes go to the party? To have a bunch of fun!
- What’s a grape’s favorite dance? The grape-vine!
Grape Jokes and Puns for Adults
- Why did the grape get fired from the bank? Because he kept raisin’ the interest rates.
- A grape walks into a bar looking for a fight. What does he say? “I heard you were talkin’ ’bout my mama…and my Pinot Noir!”
- You know, I tried to make wine out of raisins once… It turned out to be a terrible decision on so many levels.
- I met a guy at a winery who swore he was descended from grapes. I told him, “Get a gripe!”
- My therapist told me to imagine my problems as grapes. I said, “Okay, but what good will that do?” He said, “Then you stomp all over them!” I told him, “Sounds like my dating life.”
- Dating apps are like vineyards… So many options, but you’re probably going to end up with something sour.
- Why don’t grapes ever win arguments? They’re always getting crushed under pressure.
- Heard about the grape that went to art school? He’s a real fine artist.
- Why did the grape break up with the raisin? He thought she was too dried up and wrinkled.
- I saw a sign at a juice bar that said, “Grape Expectations.” I guess that’s what happens when you set the bar too high.
- My therapist told me to embrace my anger. So I gave it a warm hug and a glass of Pinot Noir.
- A grape walks into a doctor’s office and says, “Doc, I think I’m dying! I keep seeing spots!” The doctor says, “Well, first off, quit looking in the mirror!”
- Why was the grape so embarrassed at the party? He realized he’d shown up in the same outfit as the punch bowl.
- You know you’ve had too much wine when… You start telling everyone you’re a “wine connoisseur,” but you’re really just a “whino” with a thesaurus.
- I tried to start a grape smuggling ring… But it was hard to keep it under wraps.
- What’s a grape’s favorite genre of music? Anything with a good vinetage.
- Why are grapes so bad at keeping secrets? They have a tendency to spill the beans.
- I told my date I make wine as a hobby. She said, “Oh, how grape!” I thought it was cheesy too.
- Life is like a box of grapes: You never know what you’re gonna get…except for the occasional seed of disappointment.
Grape Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Other Social Media
- Just saw a bunch of grapes on a treadmill… They were raisin’ the bar. 🍇🏃♂️
- My friend said I couldn’t come up with a grape pun. I told him, “Give me a break, I’ve got tons!” 🍇🤣
- What did the green grape say to the purple grape? “Breathe, man! Breathe!” 🍇😮💨
- I tried to make wine with grapes I found under my couch… Turns out it was just a vintage dust bunny. 🍇🍷🐰
- Why did the grape get lost in the supermarket? He took a juice-turn! 🍇🛒
- Did you hear about the raisin who went back to school? He wanted to be a grape again! 🍇🎓
- My therapist told me to imagine my problems are like grapes… I said, “Okay, so I make wine?” 🍇🍷😌
- I used to be addicted to grapes, but I’m raisin’ awareness now. 🍇✊
- What’s a grape’s favorite type of music? Anything with a good beat! 🍇🎶
- Why are grapes so good at basketball? They’re always dribbling! 🍇🏀
- Never tell a secret in a vineyard… Those grapes have ears everywhere! 🍇🤫
- What’s a grape’s favorite dance move? The Grapevine, obviously. 🍇💃🕺
- My friend tried to tell me raisin bread is better toasted… I said, “Don’t get me started, it’s a sore subject.” 🍇🍞🔥
- Why did the grape get a job at the bank? He was good with his money! 🍇💰
- If you’re ever feeling down, just remember… even the sourest grape can become fine wine. 🍇🍷✨
- You can tell a lot about a person by their favorite type of grape… It’s true. I read it on the grapevine. 🍇🤭
- I’m writing a book about grapes, but I’m having trouble with the ending… I guess you could say it’s… to be continued. 🍇✍️
- What did the grape do when it got stepped on? It let out a little whine! 🍇🦶🍷
That’s All, Folks! Wine Not Share These Grape Jokes? 🍇😂
We hope these grape puns and jokes have tickled your funny bone! If you’re still feeling thirsty for more laughs, don’t just sit there like a bunch of sour grapes – explore the rest of our punny website! We’ve got a whole vineyard of jokes waiting to be harvested. 🍇😂
