99+ Cougar Jokes & Puns: You’re Feline Lucky!
Get ready to roar with laughter! 😂 This isn’t about big cats on the prowl, but jokes about cougars that are purr-fectly hilarious! 😉 We’ve got the best list of cougar puns and jokes, packed with humor so clever, it’s almost scary (almost!). 😜 Whether you’re a kid or just a kid at heart, get ready for some wild wordplay. 🎉 Get your claws into these funny jokes – they’re the cat’s meow! 😸
Top Cougar Jokes – Best Picks
Why don’t cougars play poker in the jungle? Too much cheetah!
How do you find a cougar in the wilderness? Just follow the sound of Barry Manilow. 😉
My friend told me I should try dating a cougar. I said, “Dude, I barely have time to do laundry!”
You know you’re getting old when “going out with a cougar” means going to the zoo.
Why did the cougar cross the road? To prove she wasn’t too old to do it.
What do you call a cougar with a bad sense of direction? Lost… but she’ll find you.
Why is dating a cougar like a fine wine? They both get better with age (and probably cost more). 🍷
Why did the cougar get fired from the library? She kept bringing all the young books back to her den!
What do you call a group of cougars who sing together? A purr-formance you won’t forget. 🎤
What’s a cougar’s favorite dating app? Tinder… duh. 😉
What’s the difference between a cougar and a jaguar? One’s a sleek predator, the other’s a luxury car… or is it?
My friend said dating a cougar is like riding a roller coaster. Sounds fun, but I just threw up a little in my mouth.
What do you call a cougar who’s always getting into trouble? A cat-astrophe.
Why don’t cougars ever tell their real age? They’re afraid it will declaw their mystique! 🤫
Clever Cougar Puns – Best Picks
What do you call a cougar who loves vintage clothing? A time-prowler.
I saw a cougar driving a sports car with a vanity plate that said “ROWR.” I guess she really identifies with her spirit animal.
How do you know a cougar is at your Halloween party? She keeps asking what year everyone graduated.
Why did the cougar get kicked out of the library? She kept returning all her books past their due date.
What’s a cougar’s favorite drink? Anything matured for 18 years… or more.
What does a cougar use to find her next date? A cub-scout cookie crumb trail.
I used to think dating a cougar was exciting… Then I realized it was just her hot flashes.
What’s a cougar’s favorite pickup line? “Are you tired? You’ve been running through my mind all decade.”
How do you get a cougar to fall for you? Tell her you own a time machine.
Why don’t cougars believe in astrology? They prefer to write their own destinies.
Why did the cougar break up with the younger man? He kept calling her “ma’am.”
What do you call a cougar who’s also a ghost whisperer? A cougar-geist.
Funny Cougar One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Cougar Jokes
I saw a cougar driving a really old car. Turns out it was just a pre-owned model.
A cougar walks into a bar and says, “I’m looking for a younger man.” The bartender replies, “We’ve got a great senior discount!”
My friend tried to pick up a cougar at a yoga class. I told him good luck, it takes a lot of flexibility to date someone like that.
They say cougars are always on the prowl. Well, that makes scent.
Cougar dating is all about chemistry. Especially if you’re using anti-aging cream.
I’m writing a dating profile for a cougar. What’s another word for experienced?
How do you know if you’re at a cougar convention? Just follow the trail of hairspray and confidence.
Why don’t cougars play hide and seek? Because they’re always the ones finding someone.
I tried to explain online dating to a cougar. I think she preferred the classic approach.
Cougar on a dating app: “I’m not afraid of commitment… as long as it’s not on Thursdays. Or Tuesdays. Or weekends.”
What do you call a cougar that loves baseball? A catcher’s mitt.
You know you’re a cougar when… your idea of a wild night is staying up past 10 pm.
What’s the difference between a cougar and a cheetah? One’s a big cat, the other’s a big catch!
Why did the cougar cross the road? She saw a silver fox on the other side.
Cougar QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Cougar
Q: What’s a cougar’s favorite dating app? A: It’s not Tinder, it’s Timber. 😉
Q: Why did the cougar cross the road? A: To get to the senior center’s singles mixer. 😜
Q: What do you call a cougar with laryngitis? A: A purr-suasive whisperer!
Q: Where do cougars go on vacation? A: Someplace with lots of cubs… Scouts, I mean! 😅
Q: Why are cougars such good detectives? A: They have a knack for finding young bucks!
Q: What does a vegan cougar eat? A: Toy beans!
Q: Why don’t cougars play poker? A: They always get caught bluffing their age!
Q: What’s a cougar’s favorite pickup line? A: “Are you lost? Because heaven’s a long way from here.” 😉
Q: What do you call a cougar who loves to bowl? A: A strike-seeker!
Q: How do you know a cougar likes your online profile? A: Her message says, “Age is just a numbpurr.”
Q: What’s a cougar’s favorite drink? A: Anything with a “cub”an twist!
Q: What do you call a cougar that’s always getting into trouble? A: A cat-astrophy waiting to happen!
Q: Why did the cougar get a job at the library? A: She heard they had a lot of fine volumes!
Q: What’s the difference between a cougar and a jaguar? A: One’s a sleek hunter of younger prey, the other is a car made by Ford. 😜
Dad Jokes About Cougar: Pun-Filled Quips
I saw a cougar at the library today. Turns out, she was just looking for a blind date in the large print section.
What’s a cougar’s favorite drink? Anything older than 21, of course!
Why did the cougar always go on dates to the museum? She loved older relics.
A cougar walks into a bar and winks at the bartender. “Hey handsome,” she purrs, “can I get a drink? And do you come here often?”
Heard a rumor about a new dating app for cougars called “Prey and Download.”
Why don’t cougars like playing hide and seek? Because they’re always the find of someone’s life!
What does a cougar use to check her reflection? A pre-owned mirror!
I tried to impress a cougar at the bar with my knowledge of classic rock. Turns out, she preferred the original artists.
You know you’re getting old when going out with a cougar means you’re hiking with a big cat.
A cougar walked into a plastic surgery clinic and asked for a “cat eye” lift. The doctor chuckled, “Ma’am, I think you’ve already got that covered.”
What’s a cougar’s favorite type of wine? Anything with a vintage date on it!
I told my friend, “That cougar is checking you out!” He scoffed, “She’s way out of my league.” I said, “Dude, you’re on her playing field!”
They say cougars are good at multitasking. They can hunt for a younger partner while reminiscing about their glory days!
What’s the difference between a cougar and a cheetah? One will steal your heart, the other will steal your gazelle!
Cougar Jokes and Puns for Kids
Why don’t cougars play hide and seek? Because they’re always on the prowl!
What do you call a cougar that loves to swim? A cool-gar!
What’s a cougar’s favorite kind of music? Anything with a good beat to pounce to!
Why did the cougar cross the road? To get to the meow-ntain lion on the other side!
What do you call a cougar with a crown? A roar-yal Highness!
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Cougar. Cougar who? Cougar-fic to see you!
What do you get if you cross a cougar and a lemon? A sour puss!
Why did the cougar get in trouble at school? For playing cat-ivated pranks!
What do you call a group of cougars playing music? A purr-cussion band!
Why are cougars such good hunters? Because they’re always up for a challenge, and they’re paw-some at it!
What do you get if you cross a cougar with a comedian? A roar-ing good time!
What did the cougar say to the deer? “Hey, wanna grab a bite?” (Just kidding! Cougars are carnivores and only eat meat).
What’s a cougar’s favorite drink? Anything with a straw… they love to slurp!
Why are cougars so good at hide-and-seek? Because they’re masters of camo-flauge!
Cougar Jokes and Puns for Elders
Why did the cougar cross the road? Nobody dared to ask. She looked like she had heard it all before.
My friend keeps bragging about dating a cougar. I told him, “Enjoy it while it lasts. They’re known for their short attention spans… and even shorter patience for nonsense.”
What’s the difference between a cougar and a sugar momma? About twenty years and a good financial advisor.
They say cougars can climb anything… especially the social ladder at a yacht club.
Why are cougars such good card players? They’re masters of the “younger man’s bluff.”
My grandma started calling herself a “vintage cougar.” I said, “Grandma, that’s just called ‘single’ at your age.”
A cougar walks into a bar and orders a drink. As she sits there, she hears a young man say, “Hey, those jeans look really great on you!” The cougar smiles, flattered, and replies, “Oh, you can barely see them from over there!”
I saw a cougar wearing a shirt that said “Mrs. Robinson” at the grocery store today. I guess subtlety isn’t for everyone.
I think dating apps should have a special filter for cougars. They could call it “Experienced Only.”
My friend told me his dating pool is “age is just a number.” I said, “Yeah, until you’re the one with more wrinkles.”
What do you call a cougar who’s lost her touch? A housecat. It’s all about the finesse, darling.
My therapist told me I need to embrace my inner cougar. I told her I’d rather just embrace a nap. Some days are just for comfort, not conquest.
Why don’t cougars play hide and seek? Because everyone’s always looking for them. They practically invent “seen and be seen.”
I tried to explain online dating to a cougar. She just laughed and said, “Honey, back in my day, we called it ‘going to the disco.'” Some things are timeless.
Cougar Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media
My friend tried to pick up a cougar at the bar. Turns out it was just a regular woman with awesome life insurance. 😹
I saw a sign at the zoo that said, “Caution: Cougar Crossing.” I thought to myself, “That’s pretty bold of him, asking this early in the relationship.” 😏
You know you’re getting old when going clubbing turns into going to the zoo hoping to make eye contact with the cougar. 😂
Life is like a box of chocolates, and I’m a hungry cougar. Gimme the good stuff. 😉
They say cougars are good hunters… mostly because they already own everything worth having. 💅
Saw a cougar driving a really nice car. Guess she finally traded in her Cub. 🚗
Don’t ever cougar-shame a woman for knowing what she wants. You’re just mad she didn’t want you. 😎
What’s a cougar’s favorite dating app? Tinder… because she’s seen it all before. 📱
Just saw a cougar order a “cuban” at the bar… I think she was sending me signals. Or maybe it was just a drink. 🤷♀️
How can you tell if someone’s a cougar on social media? They remember Myspace. 👵 (But make it vintage cool, grandma!)
What’s a cougar’s favorite wine? Anything she wants, honey. She earned it. 🍷
My friend said she prefers dating younger guys because “age is just a number.” I’m pretty sure for cougars, it’s a hunting ground. 🏹
What do you call a group of cougars on a night out? A ROAR-some time! 🎤🎉
Single and ready to mingle… with someone who remembers when MTV played music videos. Hit me up! 😘
Just heard a song on the radio that reminded me of my youth… guess that’s my cue to start browsing pictures of younger men 😉
That’s Our Pounce on Cougar Humor!
We hope these cougar jokes didn’t make you want to run away! If you’re not feeling too catty, be sure to check out the rest of our purr-fectly hilarious puns and jokes throughout our website. You’re sure to find something to make you roar with laughter!
