106+ Cold Weather Puns & Jokes to Chill You Out 🥶

Get ready to chill out with laughter because we’ve got the ❄️best❄️ collection of cold weather jokes and puns this side of the North Pole! 😂 This list of 💯 hilarious puns and jokes about cold weather is perfect for kids and adults who appreciate a bit of clever humor. So grab your mittens, snuggle up by the fireplace, and get ready for some seriously funny frostbite for your funny bone! 🔥😹🔥

Top Cold Weather Jokes – Best Picks

1. Why don’t sleet and freezing rain get along? They have a hail of a time together.
2. I tried to catch some fog earlier… I mist.
3. What’s a polar bear’s favorite drink? Coca-Koala!
4. My friend said he wanted to live somewhere he could ice skate to work. I told him to move to Antarctica, the commute’s a breeze!
5. I got hit in the head with a snowball earlier. Luckily, it was a soft-ball.
6. What’s the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs.
7. My friends threw a surprise party for winter… I’ve never seen someone so flaked out.
8. Where do snowmen keep their money? In snow banks!
9. How does one fight the cold weather blues? You put on a happy face mask!
10. It’s so cold, I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets!
11. My dog loves the cold weather, but hates it when I tell him to “chill out.” He says it’s redundant.
12. What kind of car does a snowman drive? A frost-y one!
13. It’s so cold outside, I saw a bird using a penguin for a hot water bottle!
14. My voice is a little hoarse today… Must have been that cold I caught – the “brrr” flu.
15. What’s an icicle’s favorite indoor sport? Indoor drip-ping!

Clever Cold Weather Puns – Best Picks

1. This cold weather is really getting to me. I can’t wait for the temperature to become more palatable. 🥶
2. I tried writing a song about the cold weather, but I got frostbite. 🎶🥶
3. This cold front is so intense, even my coffee is feeling iced out. ☕🥶
4. What’s a polar bear’s favorite tea? Brrreakfast tea, of course! 🐻🍵
5. Feeling down in the dumps about the cold weather? Just remember, spring is just around the corner (hopefully). 😔🌷
6. It’s so cold, I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets! 🥶💰
7. This weather is truly unbearable. Someone get the polar bears some sweaters! 🐻🥶
8. I asked my friend if they were cold. They said, “Nah, I’m chill.” I told them, “That’s the problem!” 😎🥶
9. It’s so cold outside, I saw a flock of birds flying backwards… they were trying to get to summer faster. 🐦💨
10. My car thermometer broke in this weather. Now it just says “Fuhgeddaboudit!” 🚗🥶
11. I tried to explain to my car that it’s too cold to go anywhere, but it just gave me the cold shoulder. 🚗🥶
12. The weather forecast said “Wind chill below zero,” but I’m pretty sure that’s just snow way to live. 🥶❄️
13. It’s so cold outside, the squirrels are hiring chimney sweeps – they want to go in through the flue. 🐿️🔥
14. What do you call it when a snowman throws a temper tantrum? A meltdown. ☃️😭
15. Trying to enjoy a winter wonderland walk, but my teeth are chattering so much it sounds like I’m trying to learn Morse code. 🥶😬

Funny Cold Weather One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Cold Weather Jokes

1. I tried to explain to my friend how cold weather works, but it went totally over his head…because it’s freezing up there!
2. This cold weather is so unbearable, even my coffee is wearing a jacket.
3. I wanted to go ice skating earlier, but I had to bail…because the water was frozen solid!
4. My friends told me to embrace the cold weather. I gave it a hug, but now my arms are stuck.
5. This cold weather is really getting to me – I can’t feel my fingers typing this…brb, putting on gloves.
6. What do you call it when a snowman throws a temper tantrum? A meltdown.
7. My car’s thermometer broke in this weather. I guess you could say it’s degrees of despair out here!
8. It’s so cold outside, I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets!
9. I tried writing a poem about the cold weather, but I got cold feet.
10. I’m not sure what’s wrong with my furnace, but the repairman says it’s got a cold shoulder.
11. I should have been a meteorologist. Talking about cold weather is the only forecast I’ve got.
12. What’s winter’s favorite board game? Brrr-opoly!
13. It’s so cold outside, I saw a bird using a penguin for a hot water bottle.
14. Why don’t they play cards in the North Pole? Because everyone gets cold hands!

Cold Weather QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Cold Weather

1. Q: What do you call it when a polar bear tells a boring story? A: A cold tale.
2. Q: What’s a snowman’s favorite type of investment? A: A snow-growth fund.
3. Q: Why did the snowman quit his job? A: He was feeling a little under the weather.
4. Q: How do you fix a cracked pumpkin? A: With a pumpkin patch… in warm weather! It’s too cold for that now!
5. Q: What do you call a penguin who’s always getting into trouble? A: A cold-hearted criminal.
6. Q: My teeth are chattering so much in this weather, it sounds like a tap-dancing competition! How many dancers ARE there in there?! A: A tooth-full!
7. Q: Why don’t they serve ice cream in cold weather? A: Because it’s too cold to cone-centrate on eating it!
8. Q: What do you sing at a snowman’s birthday party? A: “Freeze the day!”
9. Q: Why do birds fly south in the winter? A: Because it’s too far to walk! And they heard the worm population was fleeing south for the season.
10. Q: What’s a snowman’s favorite cereal? A: Frosted Flakes, of course!
11. Q: I can’t feel my toes in this weather. What should I do? A: Maybe try looking for them? They could be hiding in your shoes!
12. Q: It’s so cold, I saw a politician with his hands in his OWN pockets! A: That’s unbelievable! What could he possibly be doing in there?
13. Q: Why did the scarecrow win an award? A: Because he was outstanding in his field… even in the cold weather!

Dad Jokes About Cold Weather: Pun-Filled Quips

1. This cold weather is really getting to me. I can’t even think straight… my thoughts are totally freezing up! 🥶
2. Asked my friend if he wanted to go ice skating in this weather. He said, “Nah, it’s just not my cup of tea.” I said, “That’s okay, it’s too cold to be fussy!” ☕
3. What do you call it when a snowman throws a temper tantrum? A meltdown! 😠☃️
4. This cold front is really going below zero. I guess you could say it has a chilling effect!
5. Heard they’re predicting record-low temperatures this week. Time to chill out and stay inside! 🥶
6. This cold weather has made me completely lose my train of thought. Must be a case of the winter brain freeze.
7. My wife asked me to build a snowman. I said, “Can’t we just make snow angels? It’s way too cold to be making new friends right now!” 😇
8. Why don’t they play baseball in the winter? It’s too hard to find a chilled bat! ⚾
9. My car thermometer is broken. I asked my mechanic if he could give me a ballpark estimate for the repair. He said, “Sure, about the same as freezing over hell!” 🚗🔥
10. I tried writing a poem about the cold weather. It turned out kind of ice-y. Guess it needed more warmth! ✍️
11. This weather is so cold, even the polar bears are wearing jackets. They’re saying it’s un-bear-ably cold! 🐻
12. What’s a snowman’s favorite type of mail? Chain mail! ✉️☃️
13. Tried to explain to my son why it’s colder in the winter. Told him, “The Earth gets tilted away from the sun.” He said, “That’s messed up. The Earth sounds kind of shady.” 🌎
14. Had to break out my warmest winter boots today. These things are so comfy, I could hibernate in them! Well, maybe not hibernate… just take a really long winter’s nap! 😴
15. I made a New Year’s resolution to enjoy the cold weather. Honestly, it’s going swimmingly… if by “swimmingly” you mean hiding under a mountain of blankets! 🏊‍♂️🛌

Cold Weather Jokes and Puns for Kids

1. Why do birds fly south for the winter? > Because it’s too far to walk!
2. What do snowmen eat for breakfast? > Frosted Flakes!
3. What’s a snowman’s favorite type of mail? > Anything that’s ad-dress-ed!
4. What kind of math do snowmen love? > Snow-calculations!
5. I went ice skating for the first time yesterday… > I can’t wait to go back for the second time!
6. Mom: “Go cover your cold ears!” > Kid: “But I don’t have enough hands!”
7. What’s a polar bear’s favorite drink? > An ice-cold Coca-Koala!
8. What do you call it when a snowman throws a temper tantrum? > A meltdown!
9. Why didn’t the snowman cross the road? > He was afraid of a hit-and-run!
10. How does Jack Frost get to work? > By icicle!
11. What do snowmen like to wear on their heads? > Ice caps!
12. Why did the snowman quit his job? > He was tired of working on thin ice!
13. My dad always says winter is his favorite time of year… > To be honest, I think he’s lion!
14. What do you call a happy snowman? > A jolly good fellow!
15. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a street dog? > Frostbite!

Cold Weather Jokes and Puns for Elders

1. My doctor told me I should spend more time in cold weather… I guess he just wants me to be ex-spire-d.
2. What do you call a penguin with a poor memory? Lost in the froz-en moment.
3. Ever notice how cold weather makes everything seem quieter? It must be the chillin’ effect.
4. I saw a guy wearing winter gloves in the summer. I asked him, “Aren’t you hot?”. He said, “Nah, I’m just trying to keep a low profile.”
5. Why do mathematicians love cold weather? Because they can count on it being negative.
6. A polar bear walks into a bar and says, “I’ll have a gin and ……” The bartender looks at him and asks, “What’s with the huge paws?”*
7. This cold weather really makes you appreciate the little things in life… Like indoor plumbing.
8. Heating bills so high this winter, I had to start talking to my family again. It’s the only way to break the ice.
9. Why did the snowman quit his job? Because he said it was snow laughing matter!
10. My joints have been aching more with the cold weather… My doctor said I have rheuma-the-cold.
11. I started exercising to stay warm this winter. Now I’m chilled to the bone, but at least I’m toned.
12. Remember when we used to shovel snow? Now we just watch the neighbor’s teenager do it and critique his form.
13. You know you’re getting old when… “Freezing your buns off” takes on a whole new meaning.
14. I tried writing a song about the cold weather… But I kept getting cold feet.
15. This cold weather is so unbearable… Even my coffee is complaining about having to face the day.

Cold Weather Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media

1. My love life is like the cold weather, my ex really iced me out.🥶😂
2. This cold weather is unbearable. I saw a jogger breathe out so hard, I thought he was trying to summon a dragon. 💨🐉
3. What do you call it when a snowman throws a temper tantrum? A meltdown. ⛄😩
4. I tried to explain to my car that it’s not truly cold until it hits absolute zero… It’s giving me the cold shoulder. 🚗🥶
5. Me trying to leave the house in this weather? My motivation is below freezing. 🥶🛌
6. This cold weather is so intense, I actually saw a hipster’s skinny jeans shivering. 👖🥶
7. Taking a shower in the winter is a delicate dance. One minute you’re in the Arctic, the next you’re in a tropical rainforest. 🚿🥶🥵
8. My bank account is also feeling the effects of the cold weather. Completely frozen. 🥶💰
9. Just saw a group of penguins marching in protest of the cold. They’re demanding warmer waddling conditions!🐧🪧
10. This weather is so cold, even my coffee needs a jacket. ☕🧥
11. What do you call a bear with no teeth that lives in the cold? A gummy bear!🐻🍬
12. Went outside today and the wind was colder than my ex’s heart. I swear, it cut right through me! 💔💨
13. I’m convinced my fingers have turned into popsicles in this weather. Someone hand me a hairdryer, stat! ❄️🍭

Chill Out, These Puns Are Snow Joke! ❄️😂

We hope these cold weather puns and jokes helped you thaw out a bit from the chill! If you’re looking for more ways to warm up your funny bone, be sure to explore the rest of our pun-derful website for a truly ice-ceptional laugh riot!

Rabia Noreen: The Punnovator

Hi, I'm Rabia, the lead punster behind PunnyHub.com, alongside my incredible team. With a background in Comparative Literature, I specialize in turning phrases and crafting chuckles. My team and I are committed to delivering humor that not only entertains but enlightens. Every post we share is designed to sprinkle your day with laughter and a dash of wit. Find your Best Puns & Jokes.

Facebook Pinterest TikTok Threads X (Twitter) YouTube