107+ Austin Jokes & Puns: Keep It Weird(ly Funny!)

ByRabia Noreen & Team

🤠 Yee-haw! 🤠 Get ready to giggle your boots off, because this ain’t your average list of Austin jokes – it’s the BEST list of Austin jokes! 😂 We’ve got puns so clever, they’d make a UT professor proud, and humor so funny, it’s practically illegal (don’t worry, we checked). 😉 Whether you’re a native Austinite or just visiting, this list of puns and jokes is perfect for kids and adults who love a good chuckle. So, saddle up and get ready for some knee-slapping, side-splitting, Austin-style fun! 🎉

Top Austin Jokes – Best Picks

  1. Why don’t Austinites get lost? Because they always know how to “Keep Austin Weird.”
  2. What do you call an Austin musician who’s always late? Austin-time!
  3. What’s an Austinite’s favorite board game? Settlers of Catan… with extra food trucks.
  4. Why are the tacos in Austin so good? They’re always “Austin-ishing”!
  5. What’s the hottest dating app in Austin? It’s called “Farm-to-Table Tinder.”
  6. How do you get an Austinite to smile for a photo? Just say “Barton Springs” right before you click.
  7. What do you call a group of musicians stuck in Austin traffic? A band jam.
  8. Heard about the new dating app for Austin techies? It’s called “Silicon Hills and Thrills.”
  9. Why did the comedian bomb in Austin? The crowd was too busy being “weird” to laugh.
  10. What’s an Austinite’s favorite type of coffee? Anything locally roasted, ethically sourced, and served with a side of irony.
  11. How can you tell someone’s from Austin? Don’t worry, they’ll tell you.
  12. Why did the armadillo cross the road in Austin? To get to the other side… of the music festival.
  13. What’s an Austin musician’s favorite type of guitar? An “Austin-toustic” guitar, of course!
  14. You know you’re in Austin when… the traffic is worse than the heat, but the tacos are worth it.
Ultimate collection of Best Austin Jokes and Puns, One-liners, Dad Jokes, Funny Quotes, and Captions - Discover engaging and humorous content at PunnyHub.com

Clever Austin Puns – Best Picks

  1. “Keep Austin Weird,” they said. So I opened a restaurant that only serves tacos in a bathtub. Business is booming, I’m Austinitely onto something.
  2. My friend moved to Austin for the live music. Now, he lives in a van down by the river… and plays banjo. I guess you could say he’s living the Austin dream.
  3. I went to an Austin coffee shop that only accepts cryptocurrency. They said fiat was “a latte nonsense.”
  4. Someone stole my “Keep Austin Weird” bumper sticker. The irony is Austin-ishing.
  5. What do you call a lazy kangaroo in Austin? A pouch potato.
  6. Looking for love in Austin is like trying to find parking downtown – you might get lucky, but you’re probably better off walking.
  7. I tried to explain to my dog that we were moving to Austin. He just looked at me with a blank stare and panted. I guess you could say he’s feeling Austin-tatious.
  8. Why don’t they play poker in Austin? Too many cheetahs. (Get it? Cheaters… because Austin is the capital of Texas…)
  9. I asked an Austin musician what key he played in. He said, “Dude, like, all of them, man. We’re keeping it weird.”
  10. My friend from Austin told me he started a band called “The Traffic Jams.” They haven’t gotten very far.
  11. I started a dating app in Austin called “Hipster or Homeless?” It’s surprisingly popular.
  12. What do you call an Austin musician who can’t keep a steady beat? Out of thyme.
  13. I tried to order a regular coffee in Austin. The barista looked at me like I was speaking Klingon. Apparently, “regular” is not in their vocabulary.
  14. You know you’ve lived in Austin too long when you start unironically using “y’all” and complaining about the traffic.

Funny Austin One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Austin Jokes

  1. I wanted to open a bakery in Austin called “Knead to Be in Austin,” but couldn’t get the dough.
  2. My friend from Dallas told me Austin is “weird.” I told him, “That’s Austin-tatious!”
  3. Living in Austin is always an adventure. You never know what’s going to Austin-ish next.
  4. The traffic in Austin is so bad, even the bats are starting to complain about the Austin-ute.
  5. I tried to learn how to play the blues on guitar after moving to Austin, but I just wasn’t Austin-strumental enough.
  6. Someone keeps Austin-touting how great their tacos are, but they’ve clearly never been to my abuela’s.
  7. I went to an improv show in Austin last night. It was completely made up on the Austin-taneous!
  8. I thought I saw Matthew McConaughey in Austin, but it turned Austin-t to be just a guy in a cowboy hat.
  9. Someone asked me what the weather’s like in Austin. I said, “Don’t worry, it’s always Austin-der control…mostly.”
  10. I’m writing a song about all the cool things to do in Austin. It’s going to be an Austin-tastic hit!
  11. The coffee shops in Austin are so competitive, they’re always trying to Austin-tout each other with latte art.
  12. The bats under the bridge in Austin are so numerous, they could be considered Austin-tralia of the Southwest.
  13. Dating in Austin is tough. Everyone’s either an influencer, a musician, or Austin-sibly both.
  14. I wanted to name my dog after my favorite city, but it seemed cruel to call him Austin-tin.
  15. Forget everything you know about time, because in Austin, we live on Austin Standard Time.

Austin QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Austin

  1. Q: Why did the Austin musician refuse to play gigs anywhere else? A: He said his heart belonged to “Aus-tin” Texas.
  2. Q: What did the hipster say when he found the perfect vintage boots in Austin? A: “These are so Austin-tacious!”
  3. Q: Why don’t they play hide-and-seek in Austin anymore? A: Because good luck finding a parking spot that’s “Austin-ible.”
  4. Q: What do you call an Austin musician who’s always pushing boundaries? A: An “Austin-teer” of the sonic frontier.
  5. Q: What happens when you leave a donut out in the Austin heat? A: It becomes “Austin-sibly” irresistible to the ants.
  6. Q: Where do techies in Austin go for spiritual guidance? A: To see the “Austin-tatious” Oracle of Silicon Hills.
  7. Q: What’s the official motto of Austin’s food truck scene? A: “Keep Austin weird…and delicious-tin!”
  8. Q: Why did the bat refuse to leave the Congress Avenue Bridge? A: He heard the music scene was “off the Austin-chain.”
  9. Q: What do you get when you combine Austin’s love for tacos and swimming? A: The annual “Aqua-stin” Taco Festival.
  10. Q: What’s the one fashion rule everyone in Austin seems to follow? A: Always accessorize with an “Austin-tatious” amount of flair.
  11. Q: How do you know you’ve found a true Austinite? A: They pronounce “y’all” with an “Austin-tatious” drawl.
  12. Q: Why did the cowboy move to Austin to become a musician? A: He wanted to trade in his boots for “Austin-tatious” cowboy boots.
  13. Q: Where do Austinites go when they want to escape the city? A: On an “Austin-tatious” adventure to the Hill Country, naturally.
  14. Q: How do you say goodbye in Austin? A: “See ya later, “Austin-tator!”

Dad Jokes About Austin: Pun-Filled Quips

  1. I tried to order a car from Austin, but they said it was a limited edition. Guess it was just a pipe dream… Aus-tin you see?
  2. Why did the comedian move to Austin? He heard the stand-up scene was Aus-tin-ishing!
  3. I wanted to buy a boat when I was in Austin, but they said they were all Aus-tin-sold!
  4. I told my wife we should get married again in Austin. She said, “But we already did!” I said, “I know, but this time it’ll be Aus-tin-tastic!”
  5. I tried to learn the history of Austin, but it was all Aus-tin-t information.
  6. My son wanted to go swimming in Lady Bird Lake, but I told him it was too Aus-tin-ky.
  7. A guy walked up to me and asked, “Do you know where the capital of Texas is?” I said, “Sure, it’s Aus-tin the open!”
  8. I wanted to wear my cowboy boots to a fancy restaurant in Austin, but they said it was too informal. Guess you could say it was Aus-tin-formal.
  9. My friend said he got lost in Austin once. I asked him, “How did you get Aus-tin?”
  10. I saw a sign that said “Keep Austin Weird.” I thought to myself, “Don’t worry, I’m not Aus-tin anyone.”
  11. Ever notice how you can always find a parking spot in Austin? Yeah, neither have I. Must be Aus-tin-sible parking fairies.
  12. What did the armadillo say about the music scene in Austin? “It’s Aus-tin-ky!”
  13. I went to a bakery in Austin that only sold pecan pie. They were all Aus-tin one kind of dessert!

Austin Jokes and Puns for Kids

  1. Why did the little Austin always ace his spelling tests? Because he always kept his “Austin-tionary” close by!
  2. What did the mama bird say to her baby bird in their nest above Austin? “Austin-tatious! Look at that amazing view!”
  3. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Austin. Austin who? Austin-tatious! Your shoes are amazing!
  4. What’s Austin’s favorite musical instrument? The trom-bone-Austin!
  5. Where do cool cats hang out in Texas? Austin-tatious jazz clubs, of course!
  6. Why did the dog get lost in Austin? Because everyone kept telling him to “keep Austin!”
  7. My friend said Austin is the “Live Music Capital of the World!” I said, “You can’t be serious!” He said, “I Austin!”
  8. What do you call a group of bunnies hopping through Austin? An Austin-bunnies parade!
  9. What do you get if you cross a bear and a city in Texas? I don’t know, but you’d better Austin-tatious run!
  10. Why didn’t the bicycle smile when it went to Austin? It was twoTIRED!
  11. What did the river say to Austin? “Hey, wanna go with the flow?”
  12. Why did the artist love living in Austin? It’s so full of inspiration (and Austin-tatious murals)!
  13. I lost my pet armadillo in Austin! If you see him, tell him I’m Austin-tatiously worried!
  14. What’s an Austin-tatious way to get around town? By scooter, of course!
  15. Where do Texans learn about Austin’s history? From an Austin-taughty teacher, naturally!

Austin Jokes and Puns for Elders

  1. My friend said he wanted to retire to Austin to relive his youth. I told him, “At our age, wouldn’t Dallas be a better choice?”
  2. I met a guy in Austin who claimed to be a time traveler from the city’s future. Apparently, in the future, everyone still complains about the traffic.
  3. Why did the elder Austin musician refuse to play “Stairway to Heaven” at the retirement home gig? He wasn’t in the mood for a 7-minute standing ovation.
  4. They say Austin is a great place to live if you’re a millennial or a millionaire. Not sure what that makes me – I’m a septuagenarian with a senior discount card.
  5. My hip replacement only allows me to two-step. Thankfully, they still play a mean waltz in Austin.
  6. I went to a vegan BBQ joint in Austin. Even without the meat, the atmosphere was still smoky.
  7. I tried explaining to my grandkids that Austin wasn’t always full of tech startups and food trucks. They looked at me like I was speaking ancient Greek. Which, considering how long I spent in college, isn’t far off.
  8. They should rename Zilker Park to “Zilker Pacemaker Park”. All that walking really gets the blood pumping!
  9. I wanted to open a vintage record store in Austin, but the rent was outrageous. Guess I’ll have to stick with selling my vinyl collection on eBay. At least the grandkids understand online shopping.
  10. My doctor told me I need to incorporate more “green juice” into my diet. Does a Shiner Bock at Zilker Brewery count?
  11. I hear Austin is the “Live Music Capital of the World.” I guess that explains why the assisted living facility has a better lineup than my college town did!
  12. Back in my day, Austin was all about Willie and Waylon. Now it’s all… well, I’m sure it’s all very nice.
  13. I asked the barista for a “decaf latte with almond milk and a touch of irony.” He said, “Sir, this is Austin, not Brooklyn.”
  14. The grandkids took me to a speakeasy in Austin. The password was “password.” I guess some things never change.
  15. Retirement in Austin is like being young again, just with better healthcare and a more developed sense of irony. Now, where did I put my reading glasses? I can’t find the TV remote.

Austin Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media

  1. Why don’t they play poker in Austin? Because the steaks are too high! 🃏 #Austin #Texas
  2. My friend from Dallas told me Austin is all hype. I said, “Hey, at least we’re not Fort Worth.” 😎 #AustinTX #SorryNotSorry
  3. I tried to start a dating app in Austin called “Inner Tube Love”… Turns out, everyone just wants to float their own way. 🤷‍♀️ #ATXLife #SingleAndTubing
  4. What’s the most popular pickup line at an Austin coffee shop? “Is that a cortado in your hand, or are you just happy to see me?” ☕ #AustinDateNight #CheesyPickupLines
  5. How do you know you’re in Austin? When the music is live, the tacos are legendary, and everyone has a dog named “Barton.” 🌮🐶 #KeepAustinWeird #ATX
  6. I wanted to open a restaurant in Austin called “Wu-Tang Clan-Queso”… But I couldn’t find a good location for the C.R.E.A.M. 😩 #FoodieDreams #AustinEats
  7. I told my friend I was moving to Austin for the music scene. He said, “Cool, what instrument do you play?” I said, “Air guitar, duh.” 🤘 #LiveMusicCapital #AirGuitarLegend
  8. Just got back from a weekend in Austin. My bank account is hurting, but my soul is full of breakfast tacos. 💸🌮 #WorthIt #AustinBreakfast
  9. My therapist told me to embrace my mistakes. So I moved to Dallas… Just kidding! Austin forever! 😉 #TexasHumor #NeverLeaving
  10. I’m writing a song about all the construction cranes in Austin. It’s a real growth industry. 🏗️🎶 #AustinGrowth #ConstructionSymphony
  11. You know you’ve lived in Austin too long when… You consider traffic on Mopac a “light day.” 🚗🤯 #AustinTraffic #KeepItMoving
  12. I’m starting a band in Austin called “The Affordability Crisis.” We’re looking for a drummer who can also pay our rent. 🥁💸 #AustinRent #BandPractice
  13. Austin: Where the vibes are chill, the food is hot, and the rent is… well, let’s not talk about the rent. 😅🔥 #KeepAustinAffordable #LoveHateRelationship

Austin-tatious puns? We’ll be back soon!

Well, folks, we’ve reached the end of our Austin adventure, and hopefully, you’re not feeling too “wired” from all the puns! If you’re craving more laughs, don’t be a stranger! Mosey on over to our website for a whole mess of hilarious puns and jokes that’ll tickle your funny bone ’til the cows come home…or at least until your sides hurt. You’ve been warned!

Rabia Noreen & Team

Rabia Noreen: The Punnovator

Hi, I'm Rabia, the lead punster behind PunnyHub.com, alongside my incredible team. With a background in Comparative Literature, I specialize in turning phrases and crafting chuckles. My team and I are committed to delivering humor that not only entertains but enlightens. Every post we share is designed to sprinkle your day with laughter and a dash of wit. Find your Best Puns & Jokes.

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