93+ Vulture Jokes: Puns So Funny, They’re Fly!
Get ready to laugh your feathers off because we’ve got the best 😂vulture jokes this side of the… well, the whole dang planet! 🌎 This list of puns and humor is perfect for kids and adults who love clever wordplay. Get ready for some seriously funny stuff – we’re not just winging it here! This is gonna be good… vulture good. 😉
Top Vulture Jokes – Best Picks
- Why don’t vultures ever gamble? Because they always have a bird’s-eye view of the cards!
- What’s a vulture’s favorite type of music? Anything with a catchy carrion!
- Why did the vulture cross the road? Nobody knows, he wasn’t tell-talon!
- What does a sophisticated vulture order at a restaurant? The carrion-ara pasta, of course.
- A vulture walks into a bar… The bartender says, “Hey, we have a drink named after you!” The vulture replies, “What? You have a drink called Steve?”
- Why are vultures so good at poker? They have impeccable wing-manship!
- What’s the difference between a vulture and a lawyer? One’s a scavenger, the other charges exorbitant fees. Wait, nevermind, they’re pretty similar.
- What do you call a group of vultures that love to sing? A carrion-cert!
- How do you find out what’s wrong with a sick vulture? Take it to the bird doctor for a wing-vestigation!
- What’s a vulture’s favorite type of car? A convertible, of course!
- Why are vultures always invited to parties? They can really liven things up!
- What does a vulture use to surf the internet? A bird of prey-load!
- Two vultures are circling a carcass. One turns to the other and says, “Patience, my friend, patience… Dessert comes last!”
- Why don’t vultures like fast food? Because they prefer their meals pre-decayed!
- How do you make a vulture float? Add a little root beer and a scoop of carrion-berry ice cream!
Clever Vulture Puns – Best Picks
- I tried starting a dating app for vultures, but it turns out they’re all just looking for carrion.
- A vulture walks into a bar and says, “Hey, got anything a little past its prime? Asking for a friend.”
- What do you get if you cross a vulture and a comedian? A bird with really dark material.
- What’s a vulture’s favorite type of music? Anything with a killer beat.
- Why did the vulture get kicked out of the restaurant? He kept circling back to the buffet.
- What’s a vulture’s favorite Shakespeare play? Much Ado About Carrion.
- Why are vultures so good at poker? They always have a wing up their sleeve.
- How does a vulture stylist like their hair? With a lot of volume.
- I saw a vulture wearing a leather jacket and sunglasses. He looked so fly.
- Never tell a vulture your secrets. They’re always waiting for you to spill your guts.
- Vulture walks into a library. The librarian asks, “Can I help you?” The vulture replies, “Yeah, just browsing.”
- What’s a vulture’s favorite type of TV show? Anything on the carrion network.
- I wrote a song about a heartbroken vulture. The chorus is “You really picked me apart.”
Funny Vulture One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Vulture Jokes
- A vulture walks into a bar and says, “Hit me with your most carrion-ated beverage!”
- You know you’re having a bad day when even the vultures are giving you the side-eye and saying, “Lookin’ ripe over there, buddy.”
- Why don’t vultures gamble? The house always wins… eventually.
- What’s a vulture’s favorite type of music? Anything with a good beat… and preferably decaying vocals.
- Just saw a vulture wearing a Hawaiian shirt. Guess he’s on carrion vacation!
- Being a vulture sounds easy, but it’s actually a lot of beak breaking work.
- Why are vultures such good negotiators? They know how to pick apart your arguments bone by bone.
- Vulture walks into a talent agency. Agent says, “Sorry, we don’t represent scavengers.” Vulture replies, “Fine, I’ll just wing it.”
- Never get into an argument with a vulture, they always have the upper talon.
- What do you call a group of vultures who form a rock band? The Carrion Crows!
- Heard a rumor that vultures are starting to invest in real estate. Seems like a grave mistake to me.
- A vulture’s love life is complicated. It’s all about carrion on but never settling down.
- What do you call a fashionable vulture? A feather icon.
- Why did the vulture cross the road? To prove he wasn’t chicken!
Vulture QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Vulture
- Q: Why did the vulture get a job at the recycling center? A: He heard it was a soaring opportunity with great benefits.
- Q: What’s a vulture’s favorite type of music? A: Anything with a killer beat!
- Q: What do you call a group of vultures who start a rock band? A: The Carrion Crows!
- Q: Why did the vulture cross the desert? A: To get to the other carrion. 😉
- Q: How can you tell a vulture is a good dancer? A: They have a killer carrion strut.
- Q: Why was the vulture feeling so emotional? A: He was having a real carrion moment. 😩
- Q: What do you call a fashionable vulture? A: A feather-fashion icon!
- Q: Why are vultures always invited to parties? A: They’re excellent at breaking the ice! 💀🎉
- Q: What’s a vulture’s favorite kind of soup? A: Anything that’s been simmering for a while… 🍲
- Q: What do you get when you cross a vulture and a kangaroo? A: I don’t know, but it sure can pick up a chick!
- Q: Why are vultures such good poker players? A: They’ve got a great poker face… no one can tell what they’re holding!
- Q: Did you hear about the vulture who opened a restaurant? A: Let’s just say there’s never anything left on the menu.
- Q: Why don’t other birds like playing hide and seek with vultures? A: They always find you… eventually.
- Q: What did the vulture say after a long day? A: “Well, that was a real hoot!” 🦉
Dad Jokes About Vulture: Pun-Filled Quips
- What do you call a vulture with excellent fashion sense? A culture vulture!
- A vulture walks into a bar with two dead raccoons under his wings. He approaches the bartender and says… “Hey, can I get a drink? …And put these two on my tab.”
- You know, vultures really pin down the concept of carpooling. They’re always picking up carrion together!
- Why did the vulture cross the road? To prove he wasn’t chicken!
- I saw a flock of vultures circling a music festival yesterday. Guess they were just looking for some carrion-oke.
- How come vultures are always invited to parties? Because they’re such good scavengers – they always clean up the leftovers!
- What do you call a group of vultures that start a band? The Carrion Crows!
- Why don’t vultures ever go on vacation? Because they’re always working on their tans!
- Did you hear about the vulture who opened a restaurant? It had a rotating menu!
- A vulture walks into a library and asks for books about paranoia. The librarian whispers, “They’re right behind you!”
- What’s a vulture’s favourite type of music? Anything with a good beat… and decay!
- Why did the vulture get a job at the recycling plant? He heard it was a great place to feather his nest!
Vulture Jokes and Puns for Kids
- Why don’t vultures ever tell secrets? Because they have such big beaks! 🤫
- What music do vultures love? Anything with a catchy carrion! 🎶
- Why did the vulture cross the desert? To get to the other tide! Get it? “Other side!” 😂
- What do you call a group of vultures that love to sing? A carrion-tune! 🎤
- What’s a vulture’s favorite type of tree? A dead-ication tree! 🌳💀
- Knock, knock? Who’s there? Vulture. Vulture who? Vulture be surprised how much I care! 🤗
- Why are vultures so good at hide and seek? Because they’re experts at blending in… with the trees! 🌳🦅
- What do you call a vulture that works at a construction site? A bird of prey-cision! 🏗️
- Why did the vulture bring a backpack to the picnic? In case there were any leftovers! 🎒🥪
- How can you tell a vulture is a good dancer? They have real “wing”span! 🕺
- What do you call a vulture with a cold? A bird of “prey-ing” mantis… because he’s got the sniffles! 🤧
- Why don’t vultures play tag? They’d rather play “catch” … flies, that is! 🪰
- What does a vegetarian vulture eat? Pickled beets! 🥒
- Why did the baby vulture get in trouble at school? For feathering his own nest! 🪶📚
Vulture Jokes and Puns for Elders
- Why did the vulture refuse the free massage? It said, “No thanks, I’m feeling a bit peckish, not kneady.”
- A vulture walks into a bar and orders a glass of chardonnay. The bartender raises an eyebrow and asks, “Rough day?” The vulture sighs and replies, “You have NO idea. I just came from an estate planning seminar.”
- Why don’t vultures gamble? They always play it carrion-safe!
- I saw a vulture wearing a leather jacket and sunglasses today. I thought to myself, “That’s a real bird of pray.”
- What do you call a vulture with a poor sense of direction? Lost in the carrion of time!
- My friend tried to start a dating app for vultures. It failed miserably. Turns out, everyone was just looking for carrion.
- Why are vultures so good at poker? Because they’re experts at winging it!
- Retirement is great! I finally have time for all the things I never got around to doing, like… well… like a vulture, I can’t remember what they are, but I’m sure I’ll circle back to it eventually.
- You know you’re getting old when… you start to relate to a vulture’s fashion sense. Black is slimming, after all.
- I tried to explain to my grandkids that vultures are actually very important to the ecosystem. They just rolled their eyes and said, “Okay, Boomer.”
- What do you call a vulture that gives great financial advice? A stock tipster!
- I went to a party thrown by a flock of vultures the other day. The food was terrible, but the conversation was to die for.
- What’s the difference between a vulture and a lawyer? The lawyer charges more to let you go.
- Why did the vulture cross the desert? To prove it wasn’t chicken!
- What’s a vulture’s favorite type of music? Anything with a good carrion rhythm!
Vulture Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media
- Just saw a vulture at the metal concert headbanging. Guess you could say he was… \ …really getting into the carrion. 🍗💀🎶
- Why don’t vultures gamble?\ They always play it safe and prey on the house. 🎲🍗
- What’s a vulture’s favorite type of music?\ Anything with a killer beat. 🎶💀
- Vulture walks into a bar, orders a pint of blood. Bartender says:\ “Sorry, we only serve food here.” 🍺🚫🩸
- You know you’ve been hanging out with vultures too long when…\ …you start circling every all-you-can-eat buffet. 🍽️🦅
- My friend asked why I was dressed in all black. I told him:\ “It’s for a funeral. What, you think I’m some kind of vulture?” 🖤🦅🤫
- Vulture goes on a diet. What’s his biggest temptation?\ Lean, mean, carrion machine. 💪🍗
- Why did the vulture get fired from his job as a pilot?\ He kept trying to land on carrion. ✈️💀
- What does a hipster vulture say?\ “I liked roadkill before it was cool.” 😎💀
- Vulture dating profile headline:\ “Looking for someone to grow old and decompose with.” ❤️💀
- My therapist told me to embrace my mistakes. So I gave my pet vulture a hug.\ He didn’t seem thrilled either. 🫂🦅
- Life is like a flock of vultures circling…\ …you never know when it’s your time to shine. ✨💀
- Why are vultures so good at poker?\ They have great carrion face. 🃏💀
That’s All, Folks! Carrion On With Your Day!
Well, that’s all folks! We hope these vulture jokes and puns didn’t ruffle your feathers too much. If you’re hungry for more hilarious wordplay, don’t fly away just yet! Soar on over to our website for a whole flock of funny puns and jokes that will have you laughing your talons off!
