106+ Thrift Jokes & Puns: You’ll Save Yourself From Boredom
Get ready to laugh your socks off because we’ve got a list of thrift jokes and puns that are anything but secondhand! π We’ve scoured the internet (and our own funny bones) to bring you the best, most clever, and hilarious jokes about thrifting. π Whether you’re a seasoned thrifter or just looking for some good clean fun for the kids, this list has something for everyone. So, get ready to giggle, chuckle, and maybe even snort with laughter – it’s time to get thrifty with our humor!
Top Thrift Jokes – Best Picks
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything, especially the prices at thrift stores!
- What’s a thrift shopper’s favorite type of music? Hip-hop… because they’re always lookin’ for that vintage drop!
- My friend tried to explain to me how he can tell if a shirt is vintage or just old… I told him, “Dude, that’s thrift-ty wisdom.”
- I’m starting a band called “Thrift Shop Symphony.” Our first hit single? “Sweater Weather” by The Neighbourhood… get it? Okay, I’ll go back to the discount rack…
- You know you’re addicted to thrifting whenβ¦ You refuse to buy new socks but you’ll spend $5 on a vintage ceramic frog wearing a monocle. No judgment.
- Just got back from the thrift store with an amazing find! A first edition copy of “How To Win Friends and Influence People”… now to find some friends.
- My bank account hates it when I go thrifting… But my wardrobe sure loves it!
- What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato… that probably shops at the thrift store for comfy clothes!
- Me: “I only came to the thrift store for one thing…” Also me: walking out with a cart full of treasures “They were all the one thing!”
- Why is it so hard to walk past a thrift store without going in? They have a very persuasive “come thrift with us” aura.
- Date: “I love your shirt! Is it vintage?” Me: sweating nervously “Yeah… vintage 2023 collection!”
- I went to a psychic thrift store the other day… The cashier looked at my items and said, “These clothes have a long history… of being loved by someone else!”
- Thrifting is like a treasure hunt, except everything is already priced… and ridiculously affordable! It’s like the universe wants you to be stylish on a budget.
- They say money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy you a vintage Hawaiian shirt at the thrift store… And honestly, that’s pretty much the same thing.
- Wife: “Honey, you know that saving money is important, right?” Husband: holding up a bag full of clothes “Yes dear, which is why I went thrifting!”

Clever Thrift Puns – Best Picks
- “I’m so good at thrifting, I can find a needle in a haystack…for like, 50 cents.”
- “Just got back from the thrift store with a vintage record player…turns out it was just board. Still, only cost me a dollar!”
- “Thrifting is my love language. It’s how I say ‘I care about you and your wallet’.”
- “Found a book on time travel at the thrift store. The price was right, but it was missing the last chapter. Guess I’ll never know thrift I did that.”
- “Dating a shopaholic is tough…dating a thrifter? Now that’s thrifty cents.”
- “You know you’re addicted to thrifting when your house looks like a vintage store… but with way better prices.”
- “My therapist told me to embrace my mistakes. So I went to the thrift store and bought this ugly sweater. It felt right.”
- “Went to a thrift store that specialized in clocks…it was about time!”
- “I’m writing a dictionary about thrifting. It’s still a work in progress, but I think it has potential to be…unabridged.”
- “My bank account is low, but my spirits are high…must be all the endorphins from scoring amazing thrift deals!”
- “I’m starting a band called ‘Thrift Shop Pop’. We’re going to be bigger than Macklemore, you just wait.”
- “Some people are scared of ghosts. Me? I’m scared of missing out on a good thrift store sale.”
- “Found a vintage treasure map at the thrift store. Followed it to the back of the store…found even better deals! It’s like X marks the spot for savings.”
- “You can’t buy happiness, but you can find a pretty sweet vintage lamp for under $10, and that’s practically the same thing.”
- “My retirement plan? Opening my own thrift store, obviously. Call it ‘Secondhand Thrills’.”
Funny Thrift One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Thrift Jokes
- I’m saving up for a new wardrobe; I hear thrifting is sew easy on the wallet.
- My bank account is like a thrift store, mostly filled with things I regret buying.
- Thrifting is like a treasure hunt, except you find the treasure and keep all the money.
- My friend said I need to be more “thrifty” – so I bought him a used dictionary.
- What do you call a thrifty ghost? Cheap and cheerful!
- I only wear designer clothes…that I find at the thrift store.
- My therapist told me to embrace my mistakes…so I went thrifting for a new wardrobe.
- Just bought a vintage clock at a thrift store…it’s about time I saved some money.
- They say money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy you a whole lot of thrift store treasures!
- Don’t tell my clothes, but I got them for a steal at the thrift store.
- My friend asked me if I got my outfit at a thrift store…that’s a trade secret!
- They say one man’s trash is another man’s treasure. I think they shop at the same thrift store I do.
- Iβm such a thrifty shopper, I can make cents out of anything.
Thrift QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Thrift
- Q: Why did the thrift store employee win an award? A: They were outstanding in their field…literally, they found a rare antique washing machine in the donation pile!
- Q: What did the fashionista say about her love for thrifting? A: “It’s not a phase, Mom, it’s called vintage darling, and it never goes out of style…or budget!”
- Q: What do you call a thrifty superhero? A: Captain Coupon!
- Q: How do you organize a thrift store party? A: You have to be very thrifty with the decorations, otherwise it’s considered “extravagant”
- Q: Why don’t they have music playing in thrift stores? A: They’re afraid someone might buy the vinyl record player before they can change the song.
- Q: What’s a thrift shopper’s favorite type of music? A: Anything from the bargain bin!
- Q: Why are grandmas so good at thrifting? A: They’ve been practicing since it was just called “shopping”!
- Q: What do you call a group of owls who love thrifting? A: The Thrifty Hooters
- Q: Where do ghosts like to go thrifting? A: Antique boos-tiques!
- Q: Why don’t they allow dogs in thrift stores? A: They mark everything as their “territory” with drool!
- Q: What’s a thrift shopper’s favorite board game? A: Finders Keepers!
- Q: How is a thrift store like a library? A: Shhh! Don’t tell everyone about the good finds, they’ll be all checked out!
Dad Jokes About Thrift: Pun-Filled Quips
- Why did the dad love going thrift shopping with his kids? “It’s like treasure hunting, but with less ‘arrr’ you kidding me?!’ and more ‘That’s a steal!'”
- I told my wife I got this shirt at a thrift store. She said, “Don’t lie, I know you’ve had that since the ’80s.”
- My son asked me what the coolest thing about thrift shopping is. I said, “They have everything from bygone erasβ¦ just like me!”
- Someone asked if I’d ever bought anything thrilling at a thrift store. I told them, “Every purchase is a gamble β that’s the thrill!”
- What’s a thrift shopper’s favorite type of music? Anything from the bargain bin!
- Why donβt they have any clocks in thrift stores? Because time flies when you’re finding deals!
- My wife gets mad at how much I spend at thrift stores. But think of all the money I save!
- How can you tell someone is a real thrift store enthusiast? Just say βvintageβ and watch their eyes light up!
- My teenage son thinks thrifting is βuncool.β I told him, “Son, one day you’ll learn – money doesn’t grow on trea-sure hunts.”
- Never argue with someone in a Hawaiian shirt at a thrift store. They’re already winning.
- What do you call a bee that loves thrift shopping? A thrift bee!
- They say one man’s trash is another man’s treasure. I say, “Get outta my way, I see a treasure!”
- My wife wanted to go on a “thrilling” vacation this year. So I took her to five different thrift stores!
- Thrifting is a lot like fishing. You never know what you’re gonna find, but it’s always an adventure!
Thrift Jokes and Puns for Kids
- Why did the teddy bear get a job at the thrift store? π§Έ Because he was always up for a bear-gain!
- What did the shirt say to the pants at the thrift shop? ππ “Hey, long time no see! We should totally get thrifted together!”
- Why do ghosts love thrift shopping? π» Because they can find boo-tiful bargains!
- Where do crayons retire? π In the crayon thrift shop, where they live out their golden years!
- What’s a pirate’s favorite place to shop? π΄ββ οΈ The thrift shop! They love finding treasures for a steal!
- Knock knock! Who’s there? Thrift. Thrift who? Thrift you were looking for a good deal!
- Why was the bicycle so slow getting to the thrift store? π² Because it was twoTIRED!
- What do you call a kangaroo that works at a thrift shop? π¦ A pouch-essional thrifter!
- Why are piggy banks always empty at the thrift store? π· Because they’re always looking for a penny-wise purchase!
- How do you organize a thrift shop party? π You have a thrifting good time!
- What did the hat say to the scarf at the thrift shop? π𧣠“You hang around here often?”
- Why did the scissors get hired at the thrift store? βοΈ They were great at making “cut-rate” deals!
- What’s a monster’s favorite thing to buy at the thrift store? πΉ A monster truck, of course!
- Why don’t they have price tags in thrift shops under the sea? π Because everything is “fin-tastically” priced!
Thrift Jokes and Puns for Elders
- “I went thrifting for a vintage clock today. I found one from 1972. It was about time.” (Plays on the idiom “it’s about time”)
- My friend says she only shops at thrift stores for ethical reasons. Personally, I find her holier-than-thou attitude thrifting. (Wordplay on “thrifting” and “thrifty” to create irony)
- Retirement is basically just competitive thrifting. Except the prize is dignity, and the store is always out of stock. (Darkly humorous take on the realities of aging)
- They say one manβs trash is another manβs treasure. Sounds like my dating life, and this thrift store aisle. (Self-deprecating humor linked to the theme of thrifting)
- My grandkids roll their eyes when I get excited about a good bargain. They clearly haven’t experienced inflation during the Nixon administration. (Combines generational humor with historical reference)
- You know you’re old when finding a perfectly good jigsaw puzzle at the thrift store is more exciting than winning the lottery. (Relatable observation about changing priorities)
- I used to think antiquing was just glorified rummaging. Then I realized, darling, that’s what all shopping becomes after 70. (Sophisticated humor with a touch of sass)
- Doctor: “Your cholesterol is a bit high.” Me: “No worries, I’m going thrift shopping later, I’ll walk it off.” (Humor derived from contrasting thrifting with an unlikely health benefit)
- The cashier at the thrift store winked and said, “You have excellent taste.” I said, “Thank you, but my budget helped.” (Dry humor about the reality of shopping within a budget)
- What’s the difference between a hipster and their grandpa at a thrift store? About 50 bucks and a sense of irony. (Playful generational comparison related to thrift store trends)
- I told my wife I was going to the bookstore, but went thrifting instead. Gotta keep some things a secret… like where I get all her birthday presents. (Lighthearted relationship humor with a dash of mischief)
- Went thrift shopping today and found a VHS tape labeled “My Wedding – 1962.” Should I buy it? On one hand, it’s morbid curiosity. On the other hand, it might be cheaper than marriage counseling. (Dark humor targeting a specific demographic)
- My grandson asked why I like old things so much. I said, βThey don’t make ’em like they used to.β He said, βThat’s the point.β We may have different definitions of ‘thrift’. (Humorous exchange highlighting generational perspectives)
- I refuse to spend a lot of money on clothes. Call it being thrifty, call it being cheapβ¦ I prefer to call it βvintage chicβ and demand a senior discount. (Tongue-in-cheek approach to embracing frugality)
Thrift Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media
- Just got back from the thrift store. My wallet’s feeling a little light, but my wardrobe is feeling thrifty AF. π°β‘οΈπ
- Why don’t vampires shop at thrift stores? They say the clothes have “bad blood.” π§ββοΈπ«ποΈ
- You know you’re obsessed with thrifting when your wardrobe is basically a vintage time machine. π°οΈπ
- My therapist told me I need to find healthier coping mechanisms than retail therapy. So now I just go thriftingβit’s basically the same thing, but with less guilt and more plaid. πποΈ
- I’m starting a band called “The Thrifty Threads.” Our first single? “These Boots Were Made for Thrifting.” π€πΈ
- Me trying to explain to my friends that this amazing jacket was only $5 at the thrift store. π€―πΈ (Insert surprised Pikachu meme)
- Just saw a sign that said “Thrift Store: Where the clothes are cheaper than your therapy.” They’re not wrong. π§ π
- Iβm not saying Iβm addicted to thrifting, but I did name my plants after my favorite vintage finds. πΏπͺ΄
- Friend: “Going to the mall, need anything?” Me: “Just the usualβ a time machine and an unlimited budget. I’m hitting the thrift shops.” π§π€
- Wife: “Are you wearing that shirt again?” Me: “It’s vintage! Besides, sustainability is thriving .” β»οΈπ
- Thrifting: The only time you can buy someone’s old junk and feel cool about it. πποΈβ‘οΈπ
- You can tell a lot about a person by their thrift store finds. Me? I’m apparently a ’70s disco queen with a penchant for Hawaiian shirts. πΊππΊ
- The struggle is real: Trying to leave the thrift store with only the items on your list. ππ© (Insert Drakeposting meme)
Thriftly Ever After? ππ°
We hope these thrift store puns didn’t leave your funny bone feeling too thrifty! But if you’re still hungry for more hilarious wordplay, don’t be shy, come on down to our website β we’ve got jokes and puns cheaper than a vintage handbag at a thrift store!