93+ Tank Jokes & Puns: You Can’t Top These!
Get ready to roll into a world of 😂 laughter with the best tank jokes around! This isn’t just some half-tracked attempt at humor – we’ve assembled a list of clever puns and jokes about tanks that are sure to tickle your funny bone. Whether you’re a kid or just a kid at heart, get ready for some explosive 💣 humor! Get it? 🤪 Let’s dive into this tank-tastic list of fun!
Top Tank Jokes – Best Picks
- Why don’t tanks ever lose their keys? They’re always on the key-chain!
- What do you call a tank that enjoys yoga? A bendy bulldozer!
- How do tanks greet each other? “Hey there, long time no see!”
- What’s a tank’s favorite board game? Risk! (They’re really good at strategy.)
- Why are tanks such bad dancers? They have two left treads!
- What do you get if you cross a tank and a kangaroo? I don’t know, but I wouldn’t try jumping in front of it!
- You know you’re a tank enthusiast when… you can tell them apart by the sound of their engines.
- How do tanks pay their bills? With armored checks!
- What’s a tank’s favorite movie? Anything with Tom Hanks! (Get it? Tank Hanks?)
- What do you call a tank that loves to party? A tank-you-very-much!
- What’s a tank’s favorite reggae song? “No Woman, No cry… ’cause I’m bulletproof!”
- What’s the difference between a tank and a toilet? Tanks can handle a bigger flush.
- Why did the tank get sent to his room? He was being too tank-trum-mental!
- Did you hear about the new tank dating app? It’s called “Tinder, but for Tanks!”
Clever Tank Puns – Best Picks
- What do you call a fish tank that’s always getting into trouble? A tank-er!
- Why did the tank cross the road? He ran out of gas.
- What happens when a tank gets a flat tire? It’s de-tanked.
- My friend said his new tank was really fast. I said, “Show me tank you very much.”
- What do you call a tank that loves to dance? A twerk-al tank.
- That tank comedian really bombed on stage.
- Heard about the psychic tank? It could tell the future…because it was already there!
- What do you call a philosophical tank? A think tank.
- The tank engine was feeling self-conscious because it had a one-track mind.
- What’s a tank’s favorite board game? Risk.
- That tank is so tough, it even drinks its orange juice with pulp!
- My kid wanted to name our new pet fish “Tank”. I said, “Don’t be shellfish, let’s find a name they’ll like too!”
- Why don’t they play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs…and one very sneaky tank!
Funny Tank One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Tank Jokes
- I saw a tank covered in camouflage the other day, but when I pointed it out, my friend said, “Tanks a lot, I almost missed it!”
- What’s a tank’s favorite snack? Anything it can get its treads on.
- I tried to explain to the tank how seatbelts work, but it just kept saying, “I’m always strapped in!”
- My friend tried to start a fish tank business, but it sank like a stone.
- If you’re feeling down, just remember: even a tank has its limits.
- What do you call a tank that loves to party? A real blast!
- The tank crew went to a metal concert, you could say they really thrashed.
- What’s a tank’s favorite board game? Risk!
- Don’t mess with a tank that has a “Keep Calm and Shell On” sticker.
- The tank tried to join the online dating site, but it couldn’t come up with a good tinder profile.
- Be careful who you call “small fry” in a fish tank, they might be packing heat!
- I saw a tank at the gas station the other day. Apparently, it takes unleaded.
- I asked the tank driver for directions. He said, “Just follow the treads!”
- A tank walks into a bar and says, “I’ll take a pint…of whatever you’ve got!”
Tank QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Tank
- Q: What do you call a tank that loves to bowl? A: A strike-force of nature!
- Q: Why did the enemy tank fail its history test? A: It kept running over all the dates!
- Q: What’s a tank’s favorite board game? A: Risk, but they always insist on playing the “iron curtain” strategy.
- Q: What did the tank say to the gas station attendant? A: “Fill ‘er up… and make it snappy, I’m on a roll!”
- Q: Why did the tank cross the road? A: To prove to the chicken it wasn’t chicken!
- Q: What’s a tank commander’s favorite beverage? A: Anything tank-brewed!
- Q: What kind of music do tanks listen to? A: Heavy metal, of course!
- Q: How do you know a tank is having a bad day? A: It throws a real track fit!
- Q: Why are tanks such bad dancers? A: They have two left treads!
- Q: What’s a tank’s favorite movie? A: Anything with a “blast” from the past!
- Q: Why don’t tanks ever give up? A: They’re always armed with determination!
- Q: How do tanks communicate with each other? A: They use tank-to-tank communication, duh!
- Q: Where do tanks park? A: In a tank-you-very-much spot!
- Q: What do you get if you cross a tank and a porcupine? A: I don’t know, but I wouldn’t want to pet it!
- Q: Why didn’t the tank do well in school? A: It kept getting tracked down!
Dad Jokes About Tank: Pun-Filled Quips
- I saw a tank covered in Christmas lights yesterday. Must have been a tank-ful decoration!
- What’s a tank’s favorite board game? Stratego!
- My son wanted to know what kind of milk tanks drink? I told him, “They prefer oat-mobile fuel!”
- That tank crew has amazing chemistry. They really make a tank-tastic team.
- Heard they’re making a movie about soda tanks. The director says it’s going to be a real gas!
- I tried to make a tank camouflage costume, but I couldn’t find the right material. It was a real tank-astrophe!
- What’s a tank driver’s favorite song? “Another One Bites the Dust!”
- The tank crew got lost in the desert. Talk about a tank-less situation!
- Why did the tank cross the road? Nobody dares to ask it that!
- That tank collector is obsessed. He’s constantly tank-ing inventory.
- Tank drivers have incredible bladder control. They’re real tank-ers!
- I took my fish for a ride in my friend’s tank. He seemed to enjoy the change of scenery. He said, “Tanks a lot!”
- The tank was feeling under the weather. I think it had a touch of the treads.
Tank Jokes and Puns for Kids
- Why did the baby tank laugh? Because it saw the wind-up car go, “Wheely, wheeely, fast!”
- What’s a tank’s favorite board game? Risk!
- What kind of music do tanks like? Heavy metal!
- Where do tanks sleep? Under their tank-ets!
- What did the tank say when it bumped into the wall? “Well, tank goodness it wasn’t a window!”
- Why did the tank cross the playground? To get to the other slide!
- What do you call a tank that loves to swim? A sub-tank-ial swimmer!
- My dad said my toy tank is indestructible. So I took a hammer to it. He wasn’t tank-ful for that!
- What’s a tank’s favorite drink? Anything in their “tank-ard”!
- What happens when a tank gets lost? It “tank-ers” around until it finds its way!
- Why did the tank get sent to his room? He kept throwing “tank-trums”!
- Why are tanks such good artists? They’re really good with a “tank brush”!
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Tank. Tank who? You’re wel-come!
Tank Jokes and Puns for Elders
- Why did the elderly tank enthusiast refuse to drive a modern tank? Because he preferred the classics, even if they were a bit rusty.
- I saw a tank driving down the highway incredibly slowly today. I guess you could say it was really tanking it.
- Why did the tank cross the desert? Because it was looking for the nearest watering hole. Get it? It needs fuel? Oh, never mind…
- A general tells his new recruit, “Son, a tank runs on its tracks.” The recruit replies, “That’s amazing, sir! But what happens when it runs out?”
- You know you’re getting old when… the only thing faster than a speeding tank is your metabolism.
- I used to have a job designing camouflage for tanks. It was honestly the most unremarkable job I’ve ever had.
- Two old army buddies meet after years. One says, “Remember that time we stole a tank and drove it into town square?”. The other replies, “Ah yes, good times! Though, I’m not sure my ticker could handle that kind of excitement now”.
- Why did the retired tank commander always wear earplugs? Because he said the silence was deafening.
- Someone asked me what kind of gas mileage my new car gets. I told them, “About the same as a tank.” Okay, maybe not new car…
- Why don’t they make tanks out of rubber? Because then they’d be tireless! And probably not very effective…
- My doctor said my cholesterol is high and I need to eat healthier. I told him, ”Don’t tank my spirits! Let’s talk about this over a big plate of fries.”
- Honey, why is there a tank parked in the neighbor’s driveway? “Oh, that’s just their new smart car. It’s supposed to be very fuel-efficient.”
- They say love conquers all, but have you ever tried running over love with a tank? Just kidding, please don’t try that. Violence is never the answer.
Tank Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media
- Just saw a tank driving down the road with a flat tire… Must have been a tankless mistake! 😩
- My friend said his fish tank is a high-pressure environment… I told him just keep your gills up! 🐠
- Started working at the aquarium today… The tanks are high, but the pay is pretty shallow. 💵
- Why did the tank cross the road? It ran out of gas! 🚓💨 (Get it? Like a tank wouldn’t ACTUALLY run out of gas before crossing a road! 😂)
- I’m starting to think my fish doesn’t like his new tank… He keeps giving me the cold fins. 🥶
- What do you call a confident tank? An armored car-ismatic!😎
- I told my friend his fish were looking a little stressed, maybe he needs a bigger tank… He said, “Nah, they’ll be fine, they’re just carp-ing about their problems.” 🐠
- What’s a tank’s favorite snack? Armored car-amel popcorn! 🍿
- My anxiety levels are higher than the gas prices right now… Feels like my happiness tank is running on empty. 😭
- Why don’t tanks ever give up? They’re always armed and ready for action! 💪💥
Tank You For Coming, We’ve Run Out of Fuel!
Well, that about tanks up this list of jokes! We hope you enjoyed these punny quips and tank-tastic wordplays. Don’t forget to roll on over to our website for even more hilarious puns and jokes – we’re fully armed with laughter!
