97+ Lice Jokes & Puns: You’ll Be Scratching Your Head With Laughter

Get ready to laugh your heads off! 😂 This isn’t your average, run-of-the-mill, boring list of jokes – oh no, we’ve combed through the very best lice puns and jokes just for you! This hilarious list is perfect for kids and adults who love a little bit of clever humor. So get ready for some nit-picking fun with these funny puns about lice! 🤣

Top Lice Jokes – Best Picks

1. Why do lice make terrible chefs? Because they only know one recipe – head cheese!
2. What’s a lice’s favorite snack? Hair-loom tomatoes!
3. What do you call a lice infestation that spreads quickly? A bad case of the headcase!
4. My friend claimed his lice were house-trained… Turns out, they were just headstrong.
5. What’s a lice’s favorite Shakespeare play? Much Ado About Nit-hing!
6. Why did the lice get kicked out of school? He kept using other insects’ heads!
7. I tried to start a lice farm, but it failed miserably… I guess you could say it was a nit-picking market.
8. Where do lice go on vacation? Search me!
9. What do you call a group of lice who form a band? A nit-picking crew!
10. Why are lice such good barbers? They’re always up on the latest styles!
11. What do you call a lice with a mohawk? A nit-picker!
12. Why did the lice cross the scalp? To get to the other side… of the head!
13. I saw a lice wearing a tiny fedora today… He looked like a real nit-wit!

Clever Lice Puns – Best Picks

1. Feeling nit-picky today? Maybe you have a problem only I can solve! Signed, Larry the Louse
2. What did the frustrated louse say to his stubborn friend? “You really need to learn to let your hair down!”
3. Why don’t lice ever win arguments? Because they always get picked on!
4. My life as a louse is pretty uneventful. It’s the same old nit-picking routine day after day.
5. What does a louse use to style its hair? A nit comb-over!
6. You could say I’m a head of my time… Signed, A Louse Entrepreneur
7. My therapist told me to embrace my problems… So I gave my lice a big hug.
8. Heard about the louse family reunion? They had a nit-picking good time!
9. Dating profile: “Looking for someone who appreciates the finer things in life, like a well-groomed head of hair.” Interests: Cuddling, long walks on the scalp, fine dining (on dandruff)
10. What’s a louse’s favorite Shakespeare play? “Much Ado About Nit-picking!”
11. I tried to explain to the lice that it’s rude to interrupt, but they just kept nit-picking. Some habits are hard to break.
12. My friend told me I shouldn’t let my problems get to my head. I told him that’s where my problems LIVE.
13. What do you call a louse with a sense of humor? A nit-wit!
14. Lice are proof that even parasites can have a splitting image!

Funny Lice One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Lice Jokes

1. I tried to explain to my friend what lice are, but he just wouldn’t listen…literally.
2. My kid’s school has a louse-y cafeteria.
3. Breaking news: Local nitpicker finally finds their calling.
4. Having lice is really starting to bug me.
5. What’s it called when headlice take a vacation? A nit-cation!
6. Why did the louse family move? They were tired of their itchy-uation!
7. My hairdresser told me my hair was infested. Sounds lice-censed to me.
8. Don’t tell anyone, but I think my friend has lice… gotta keep it on the down-louse.
9. Found a great new shampoo for lice, it really knocked ’em dead. Now they’re just nit-picking.
10. I’m writing a song about lice… it’s got a real catchy head-line.
11. Tried to start a lice support group, but nobody would come. Guess it’s a touchy subject.
12. You could say my love life is like headlice – completely non-existent.
13. What’s a louse’s favorite type of candy? Nit-ro!
14. Tried to make a salad for the lice in my hair, but they preferred the head-course.

Lice QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Lice

1. Q: What did the louse say to the hair follicle? A: Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere. I’ve got a major attachment issue!
2. Q: Why did the louse get a job at the theater? A: It heard there were lots of good roles available.
3. Q: How do lice travel? A: They use a nit-flix service!
4. Q: What did the mama louse tell her kids before school? A: Now, don’t forget to nit-pick on anyone smaller than you!
5. Q: What’s the louse’s favorite genre of music? A: Hair metal!
6. Q: Why did the louse get a job as a chef? A: It was really good at seasoning things with salt!
7. Q: What do you call a louse that loves to gossip? A: A nit-picker!
8. Q: What’s the worst thing about having amnesia and lice? A: You spend your whole life scratching your head and wondering how they got there!
9. Q: What happened when the louse brought its girlfriend home to meet its parents? A: They said, “She seems nice, but we’d like to see you go out with someone with a little more body.”
10. Q: What’s a louse’s favorite Shakespeare play? A: Much Ado About Nit-hing!
11. Q: What do you call a group of lice who start a band? A: A headbanging nit-mare!
12. Q: Why did the louse get kicked out of school? A: For using its friend’s head for a nit-note during an exam!
13. Q: Why did the louse cross the scalp? A: To get to the other side!
14. Q: How are a louse and a bad roommate similar? A: They both make you itch to move out!

Dad Jokes About Lice: Pun-Filled Quips

1. Why did the louse get bad grades? He couldn’t control his itch-ues to cheat!
2. My son told me he had millions of tiny friends living in his hair… Turns out it wasn’t the lice-fe he was describing! 😂
3. The louse family went on vacation. They said they needed a break from all the nit-picking!
4. Heard about the louse who became a comedian? He really knew how to work a crowd… literally!
5. My kid asked where lice come from. I told him they come from nits-ville!
6. What do you call a louse that’s always getting into trouble? A real nit-wit!
7. What’s a louse’s favorite snack? Nit-flix and chill(i)!
8. My son asked me what my favorite musical group was growing up. I told him the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band!
9. Why do lice make terrible criminals? They always get caught red-handed!
10. What do you call a louse convention? A nit-picking conference!
11. I saw a louse hanging out with a bunch of fleas… Turns out they were in-sects!
12. Why did the louse get fired from the hair salon? He used too much product trying to get rid of the nits!
13. What did the louse say to the hair follicle? “Hey, mind if I crash here for a nit?”
14. My kid asked me if lice are contagious… I told him, “We’ll talk about it louse-r.”
15. You know those little pests that live in your hair? I named mine Harry the Louse!

Lice Jokes and Puns for Kids

1. Why did the louse get in trouble at school? Because he kept using his friend’s head as a trampoline!
2. What’s a nit’s favorite subject in school? History, they love anything ancient!
3. Why did the lice cross the playground? To get to the other head-ache!
4. My friend said he had a ‘lousey’ day. I told him, “That’s too bad, I hope you don’t get any more of them!”
5. What do you call a group of lice who start a band? A headbanger band!
6. Why don’t lice like secrets? Because they always slip out the ears!
7. How did the louse get to school? On the hair-plane!
8. My mom said I couldn’t go to the slumber party because of lice. Man, talk about a bad hair day!
9. Why are lice such good storytellers? They’re really good at spinning yarns!
10. Why did the louse bring a comb to the fight? It wanted to part its hair… on the other side!
11. What does a louse use to surf the internet? Google Chrome-osome!
12. What’s a louse’s favorite snack? Head and shoulders!
13. My dad said if I got rid of my lice, we could go for ice cream. Well, that’s some sweet motivation!

Lice Jokes and Puns for Elders

1. Why did the louse refuse to go to the hair salon? He heard there was a new stylist who specialized in buzz cuts!
2. My friend keeps telling me to invest in his lice farm, but something bugs me about it. I just can’t put my finger on it.
3. An elderly gentleman at the nursing home complained about feeling itchy. The nurse chuckled and said, “Don’t worry, at our age it’s just our memories crawling around.”
4. Heard about the new lice shampoo that’s also an energy drink? One treatment and you’re absolutely buzzing!
5. My grandpa keeps reminiscing about the good old days when a little nitpicking never hurt anyone.
6. What do you call a louse that’s always getting into trouble? A nit-wit!
7. Doctors confirmed: Sharing is caring… unless it’s lice. Then it’s just plain careless.
8. My friend tried to tell me that lice are a sign of good hygiene. Apparently, they’re attracted to clean living. I told him to get a grip!
9. Heard they’re making a gritty, realistic film about lice. They’re calling it “Parasite” – but you know, with a smaller budget.
10. A louse walks into a clinic and asks the doctor, “Got anything for thinning hair?”
11. I went to an antique shop specializing in old combs. The owner said, “If these combs could talk, they’d tell some itchy stories!”
12. Ever feel like someone’s constantly criticizing every little thing you do? That, my friend, is what it feels like to have lice.
13. They say money attracts parasites. But let’s be honest, all you really need is a good head of hair.
14. My grandma told me back in her day, dealing with lice built character. Now, they just complain about their kids needing therapy!

Lice Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media

1. Just found out my shampoo bottle has lice. Talk about a bad hair day! 😭
2. What’s it called when lice open a store selling winter gear? A nit shop. 🥶
3. Why don’t lice win arguments? They always get de-feated. 😩
4. My friend told me he got rid of lice by holding his breath. Guess you could say it was a suffocating success. 😳
5. My kid’s school had a lice outbreak. It spread faster than… well, lice! 🏃‍♀️💨
6. What do you call lice that meditate? Nitpicking their thoughts. 🧘‍♀️
7. Lice are proof that… even parasites can have a head for business! 🤑
8. Why did the louse get fired? For gross misconduct! 🤮
9. Breaking news: Local lice colony elects new leader. More details at ten… get it? 😂
10. Never ask a louse for relationship advice. They’ll tell you to “cling” on for dear life!
11. I tried to join a lice support group… but they said I wasn’t nitpicking enough. 😔
12. My friend’s kid is starting a lice farm. He’s really scratching the surface of entrepreneurship! 💰
13. What’s a louse’s favorite genre of music? Heavy metal! 🤘
14. Dating profile: Single louse seeks mate. Must enjoy long walks on the scalp and spontaneous headbanging. 🤘❤️
15. I told my mom I got rid of my lice with positive thinking. She said, “Don’t be ridiculous.” 😒

Nits Enough? We’ve Reached the Final Scratch!

We hope these lice jokes didn’t make you itch with displeasure! But hey, if you’re still craving more laughs, don’t be afraid to louse yourself in the punny pages of our website. We’ve got jokes about everything under the sun, even if it’s hiding under a nit-picking amount of hair!

Rabia Noreen: The Punnovator

Hi, I'm Rabia, the lead punster behind PunnyHub.com, alongside my incredible team. With a background in Comparative Literature, I specialize in turning phrases and crafting chuckles. My team and I are committed to delivering humor that not only entertains but enlightens. Every post we share is designed to sprinkle your day with laughter and a dash of wit. Find your Best Puns & Jokes.

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