108+ Spear Jokes: Puns So Sharp, They’ll Stick With You
Hold onto your helmets, folks, because we’re about to enter a weaponized zone of laughter 😂! That’s right, get ready for the BEST list of spear jokes and puns this side of the Stone Age. Whether you’re a kid 🤸♀️ looking for some silly fun or just someone who appreciates a good, clever pun (who doesn’t?!), this collection is for you. We’ve got humor sharper than a javelin throw, so get ready for some serious 😂 giggles!
Top Spear Jokes – Best Picks
Why don’t asparagus ever win spear-throwing competitions? They’re always too easily thrown off.
What did the Roman soldier say to his spear-wielding comrade? “Hey, wanna grab some grub? I’m feeling kind of spear-ish.”
I met a guy who throws spears for a living… Turns out he’s really got a good handle on things.
My friend told me my spear-throwing skills were pointless… I took it as a compliment.
Why are spears so dramatic? Because they’re always getting to the point.
What did the motivational speaker say to the group of young spears? “The only limit is your point of view!”
I thought I saw a talking spear the other day… Turns out it was just a figment of my imagination.
Why do spears make terrible comedians? They often miss the punchline.
My history teacher said spears changed warfare forever… I guess you could say it was a real game-changer.
I went to an antique shop and asked for a spear from the Stone Age… They said, “Sorry, we’re out of stock. That period’s pointy.”
Why did the spear cross the road? To prove it wasn’t chicken!
A javelin thrower walks into a bar… He says “Ouch!” because it was still stuck in his back.
How do you make a spear disappear? You just have to say “poof” and it’s gone!
Clever Spear Puns – Best Picks
I tried to join a spear-throwing club, but I wasn’t up to scratch.
What did the Roman soldier say when he threw his spear perfectly? “Et tu, Brute? …Just kidding, it’s a bullseye!”
That asparagus farmer really knows how to raise the spear!
Asparagus is like the Beyoncé of vegetables. All hail the queen spear!
The gladiator wanted a fair fight, so he brought a friend to the spear-ing match.
Did you hear about the motivational speaker who only used spears as props? He was really good at driving his point home.
What’s green, pointy, and lives on a farm? A spear-mint plant!
What do you call a clumsy group of knights practicing with spears? A bunch of blunderbolts!
Why did the spear cross the road? It was stuck to the chicken!
That spear-throwing competition was intense! Everyone was at the edge of their seats… literally.
The young warrior couldn’t wait to use his new spear. He was eager to carve out his own path.
Funny Spear One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Spear Jokes
I tried to explain to the asparagus what a spear was, but I think it was already pointed in the right direction.
The gladiator said his career choice was a real conversation spear-ter.
The vegetarian vampire couldn’t resist the wooden spear. He was a sucker for stakes.
The retired spear fisherman said his biggest fear was dyin’ in obscurity.
That spear thrower’s got a real chip on his shoulder… and in his target.
I went to buy a spear, but the store was all out. They said they were between shipments.
This historical drama is so predictable! I can already spear what’s going to happen.
My friend said his spear throwing skills were improving by leaps and bounds… I think he meant throws and misses.
I told my friend, “You missed a spear!” He said, “Did not, you just haven’t heard it yet.”
The motivational spear said, “You can achieve anything you set your point on!”
I’m starting a spear-throwing club for anyone who wants to join. Just don’t tell my neighbors, they think it’s pointless.
Never bring a spear to a gunfight. It’s all fun and games until someone loses an eye-ron.
My history teacher told me I had a bright future, just like the tip of that spear.
The spear was feeling really down on itself. It just needed someone to say, “Hey, you’re looking sharp!”
Spear QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Spear
Q: What did the Roman soldier say to his spear-throwing recruit? A: “Hey, you missed the point!”
Q: Why was the asparagus feeling left out at the salad bar? A: Because all the lettuce was spearheading the conversation!
Q: What did the spear say to the knight after a long day of battle? A: “I’m feeling kinda blunt. Need to get to the point.”
Q: What’s a gladiator’s favorite dessert? A: Spear-mint ice cream!
Q: Why did the history student get a job at the museum? A: He was a real spear-it specialist!
Q: What do you call a group of asparagus getting ready for battle? A: A spear phalanx!
Q: How do you fix a broken spear? A: With a little spear-it tape!
Q: Why don’t they allow asparagus at gladiator school? A: They’re always trying to spearhead a rebellion!
Q: What’s a spear’s favorite Shakespeare play? A: “Hamlet”, especially the pointy end!
Q: Why was the asparagus always getting into trouble? A: It was a little sharp and tended to spear-it its mind!
Q: What’s the most important quality of a good spear? A: Its ability to stay on point!
Q: What do you call a lazy kangaroo spear-fisherman? A: A pouch potato!
Q: Why are spears so good at poker? A: They always have an ace up their sleeve… or shaft!
Dad Jokes About Spear: Pun-Filled Quips
Why did the gardener plant a spear? He wanted to grow a hedge of honor!
I used to work at a spear factory, but I quit. It was too intense.
You know, they say carrying a spear is a sign of masculinity. Personally, I think it’s pointless.
Did you hear about the knight who was afraid of spears? He had a serious case of Tip-ophobia!
What do you call a spear that’s really good at its job? A weapon of mass point-struction!
I saw a guy carrying a spear made entirely of rubber chickens… I thought to myself, “Well, that’s fowl play.”
What’s a spear’s favorite vegetable? Aspara-guess!
My history professor told me I needed to cite my sources on the history of spears. So, I stabbed my bibliography at the end of my paper.
I got a job writing slogans for spear manufacturers… My first idea? “Get to the point!”
My friend tried to tell me asparagus was named after spears… I told him, “Don’t be ridiculous, spears were named after Asparagus!”
What’s the opposite of a spear? A reaps! …Just kidding, that doesn’t make any sense.
What do you call a lazy kangaroo who uses a spear? A pouch potato hunter.
Never bring a spear to a compliment battle… It’s always a double-edged sword. …Or, I guess a double-pointed spear in this case!
Spear Jokes and Puns for Kids
Why did the knight bring a spare spear? In case he missed!
What do you call a happy spear? A cheery-spear!
What did the little spear say to the big spear? “Hey, I look up to you!”
Why don’t spears ever give up? They’re always pointed in the right direction!
Where do spears sleep? On their spear beds, of course!
What’s a spear’s favorite vegetable? Aspara-gust!
What’s a spear’s favorite board game? Checkers-pear!
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Spear! Spear who? Spear the news, it’s a beautiful day!
What kind of car does a spear drive? A convertib-ull!
Why did the spear get sent to the principal’s office? It was being too pointy!
What do you get if you cross a sheep and a spear? I don’t know, but it’s sure to be baaaaa-d to the bone!
What did the ocean say to the spear? Nothing, it just waved!
What do you get when you mix a spear with a kangaroo? I have no idea, but I wouldn’t want to box it!
Why did the spear bring a backpack to the beach? It wanted to pack a spear-achute, just in case!
Spear Jokes and Puns for Elders
Why did the senior citizen refuse to go spear fishing with his son-in-law? He said, “I’m too old for that kind of pier pressure.”
My retirement plan is like a medieval spear. I haven’t touched it in years, and it’s starting to look a little rusty.
I tried to make a spear out of spaghetti. It was an impasta-ble task.
You know you’re getting old when… you have a favorite brand of asparagus just for the spears.
What did the Roman emperor say to the rebellious asparagus spear? “Et tu, Brute?”
I once knew a philosopher who carried a spear everywhere. He said it helped him find the “point” in any argument.
What’s the difference between a spear and a gossip? One is a weapon of war, the other is a weapon of mass distortion.
A group of rebellious vegetables overthrow the humans at the farmer’s market. Leading the charge, of course, is the Asparagus of Sparta.
My doctor said I need to eat more iron. Guess I’ll go spearhead that new diet plan.
Modern art is like a spear. I don’t always get the point, but it’s usually pointy.
Why don’t they play poker in the Roman army? Too many Caesars, and someone always gets the spear.
Dating at my age is like trying to spear a fish in a hurricane. A lot of thrashing around, and you’ll probably get wet, but you’re unlikely to catch anything.
I told my grandson I used to be a spear fisherman. He said, “Grandpa, weren’t you more of a ‘cast-and-hope’ type of fisherman?”
They say a picture is worth a thousand words. A spear, on the other hand… Well, a spear makes a much shorter statement.
Spear Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media
What do you call a Roman emperor who’s great at fishing? Caes-spear! 🎣👑
Heard about the vegetable that’s always getting into fights? It’s one mean green fighting machine…a real bruis-spear! 😡🥦
I tried to explain to my friend why throwing spears is dangerous. Guess you could say it went right over his head. 😬🤕
You know you’re out of shape when… climbing the stairs feels like you’re fighting a gladiatorial spear-oponent. 💪😩
“I’m starting a band called ‘Missing the Point,'” the aspiring musician announced. “Our first hit single will be ‘Spear of Influence.'” 🎸🎤
What’s a gladiator’s least favorite month? Septem-brrr… because it means winter is spear-heading its way in! 🥶⚔️
Why are spears so bad at poker? They always get caught bluffing… no poker face on those spear points! 🃏💀
Just saw a documentary about ancient spear throwing techniques. Turns out, it was pretty boring… I lost interest spear-adically. 🥱📺
My friend said his new invention is “groundbreaking.” I looked at his spear design and said, “More like ‘ground-piercing,’ am I right?!” 🤓✨
What’s a gladiator’s favorite movie snack? Break-a-spear-agus dip! 🍿🏟️
Tried to write a song about spears. It was going really well, but then it just sort of… tapered off. 🎶✍️
Never argue with a blacksmith who makes spears. They’re always forging the argument in their favor. 🔥💪
My history teacher said, “The invention of the spear was a pivotal moment.” I replied, “Yeah, but it probably hurt a lot at first.” 💀📚
Ancient civilizations used spears for hunting, fishing, and combat. Talk about a multi-spear-pose tool! 🛠️🏹
That’s All, Folks! Spear-fect Puns for Every Occasion.
We hope these spear jokes have tickled your funny bone and haven’t left you feeling too… shaft-ered. But the fun doesn’t have to end here! For more puns and jokes that are sharp as a tack, explore the rest of our punny website. You won’t be disappointed!
