92+ Hobbit Jokes & Puns: Shire-ly You’ll Laugh!
Get ready to journey to Middle-earth for some hilariously hobbit-sized humor! 😂 This is where the puns are sharper than Sting, and the jokes are funnier than a barrel-riding dwarf. 🎉 We’ve gathered the best, most clever hobbit jokes and puns – perfect for kids and adults who appreciate a little bit of Middle-earth mirth. 🧙♂️ Get ready to chuckle, guffaw, and maybe even say “precious” to this list of knee-slappers! 🤣
Top Hobbit Jokes – Best Picks
- Why did the hobbit get lost in the forest? Because he followed the mushroom trail… all the way to Mordor!
- What do you call a hobbit that refuses to bathe? A Smeagol-looking fellow.
- How do hobbits get to Mordor? They take the slow ring to it.
- A hobbit walks into a tavern and orders a pint. As he’s paying, he drops a gold coin that rolls towards a dark corner. “Don’t worry,” says the hobbit, “I’ve got another shilling back at the Shire!”
- Why are hobbits such good gardeners? They know how to handle their herbs.
- What’s a hobbit’s favorite type of music? Anything with a good ork-estration.
- Why did Gandalf choose Bilbo for the quest? Because he heard he was a real homebody, and could handle a ring.
- How did the hobbit escape the trolls? He used his hobbit sense… and a very strong rope.
- What do you call a hobbit who’s always in trouble? Bilbo Baggings!
- Why don’t hobbits wear shoes? They like to put their feet up on the hobbit-man’s table.
- Why don’t they play poker in the Shire? Too many hobbits keep getting full houses!
- Why are hobbits so good at riddles? Because they’re always up for a little Gollum-ing around.
- Why did the hobbit cross the Misty Mountains? To get to the second breakfast-side!
- What do you get when you cross a hobbit and a dragon? I don’t know, but you better ‘shire’ you have enough room in the backyard for the eggs!
Clever Hobbit Puns – Best Picks
- What do you call a hobbit who’s a master chef? A hobbyte-baker! 👨🍳
- Why are hobbits such good gardeners? They have really green thumbs! 👍
- A hobbit walks into a bar and orders a pint. Before he can take a sip, a giant walks in and picks him up by his shirt. “What are you, some kind of mug?” the giant bellows. The hobbit replies, “Actually, I was just about to hobbit!” 🍺
- How do hobbits get to Mordor? They take the Shire-way! 🗺️
- Why did the hobbit get lost in the woods? He took the path most traveled… by hobbits. 🚶♂️
- What do you call a hobbit who’s really good at solving mysteries? Sherlock Bones! 🕵️♂️
- I tried to write a song about a hobbit, but it was a little… short. 🎶
- What does Gandalf say when he’s presenting a cool new gadget? Behold, a new ring to rule them all-bits! ✨
- What do you call a hobbit who wins all the eating contests? The Lord of the Onion Rings! 🧅
- Why don’t hobbits like going to concerts? Because the music is always orc-wardly loud! 🤘
- I met a hobbit who was a motivational speaker. He was surprisingly… up-bilbo-ing! 🎤
- What do you call a hobbit who’s always getting into trouble? A little rascal! 😈
- Why did the hobbit cross the road? To get to the second breakfast-fast food place! 🍳
- I tried to explain the internet to a hobbit, but he just looked at me and said, “What’s the point? I can’t even get dial-up in my hobbit-hole!” 💻
Funny Hobbit One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Hobbit Jokes
- I tried to explain to a hobbit why they shouldn’t steal cars. They just took it in stride.
- A hobbit walks into a bar and orders a pint, then another, and another. The bartender says, “Easy there, you’ll end up hobbitualizing.”
- What do you call a hobbit who refuses to shower? Smeagol, my dear, Smeagol.
- I saw a hobbit band last night. They were really good, but their set list was a little Underground.
- Hobbits are terrible singers; they only know one key: lower-than-you-think.
- Why don’t hobbits play poker in the Shire? Too many shifty characters.
- You know you’ve been hanging out in the Shire too long when second breakfast starts feeling like first breakfast.
- What’s the difference between a hobbit and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four.
- What do you call a hobbit with a gambling problem? Bet-o Baggins.
- Heard there’s a hobbit dating a giantess. They say it’s a big deal in the Shire.
- Why are hobbits such good gardeners? They really know their shiitake.
- Why was the hobbit staring at the orange juice carton? It said “concentrate.”
- Hobbits really love baseball. All that talk about second breakfast makes them sound like hobbitses with hitses.
- Never challenge a hobbit to an eating contest. They’re always up for second breakfast.
- Why do hobbits make terrible chefs? They always burn the hair on their feet!
Hobbit QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Hobbit
- Q: Why did the hobbit refuse to share his treasure map? A: He was a little possessive over his “precious.”
- Q: What’s a hobbit’s favorite type of music? A: Anything with a good “shire” to it!
- Q: Why are hobbits such good gardeners? A: They have really “tolkien” green thumbs!
- Q: How do hobbits get their mail delivered? A: By “shire” mail, of course!
- Q: Why was the hobbit feeling anxious? A: He had a lot of things on his “shire”!
- Q: What do you call a hobbit who loves adventure but hates leaving home? A: A home-shire hobbit!
- Q: What do you get when you cross a hobbit and a kangaroo? A: I don’t know, but I hear they travel in “hoppets”
- Q: What’s a hobbit’s favorite board game? A: Anything but Monopoly. They just can’t stand the “shire” amount of property taxes!
- Q: Why did the hobbit bring a ladder to the pub? A: He heard the drinks were on the “house,” but knowing hobbits, that meant on the roof!
- Q: Why was the hobbit’s cooking so bland? A: He desperately needed a little “shire”-racha sauce!
- Q: What did the hobbit say when he dropped his second breakfast? A: “Oh my, my preciousss…snack time is ruined!”
- Q: What do you call a group of hobbits who sing together? A: A “shire” -enading troupe!
- Q: Why did the hobbit get lost in his own home? A: He took a wrong turn and ended up in the “shire” unknown!
- Q: What did Gandalf say to the hobbit who wanted to be a wizard? A: “You’ve got to be “shire” about your career path, my lad.”
- Q: Why don’t hobbits ever order takeout? A: They prefer to “shire” their meals with friends and family.
Dad Jokes About Hobbit: Pun-Filled Quips
- Why did the hobbit get a job at the bakery? He kneaded dough!
- I tried to explain to a hobbit why he shouldn’t take all the treasure… …but it went right over his head.
- Heard there’s a new hobbit dating app? It’s called “Tind-ring”.
- My son asked me what Frodo’s favorite dance is… …I said, “The hobbit-trot!”
- Why don’t hobbits ever have to worry about their height? They’re always down to earth.
- A hobbit walks into a tavern and orders a drink. As he’s paying, he accidentally drops his coins. “Looks like you’ve got a bit of a hobbit problem there,” says the bartender.
- What do you call a hobbit that picks on other hobbits? A bully-wagger!
- What’s a hobbit’s favorite kind of music? Anything but orc-hestra music!
- Why did the hobbit cross the road? To get to the second breakfast-eria.
- What do you call a hobbit who’s really good at solving mysteries? Sherlock Holme-body.
- Where do hobbits go when they’re feeling sick? The Shire-apy.
- What’s a hobbit’s favorite type of shoe? Loa-furrs!
- My wife asked me to name something a hobbit would hate more than seeing an orc… I said, “Seeing a half-eaten second breakfast!”
- I tried to remember the name of the mountain the hobbits had to climb… … but it completely escaped my Mordor-y.
Hobbit Jokes and Puns for Kids
- Why don’t Hobbits ever star in scary movies? Because they’re only rated PG!
- What did Gandalf say to the Hobbit who was afraid of the dark? “Don’t worry, I’ll be your light snack!”
- What do you call a Hobbit who loves to sing in the shower? A hairy-oke star!
- How do Hobbits get to school? On the school hobbit-bus!
- What do you get if you cross a Hobbit and a frog? A creature that’s always hopping mad!
- Why was the Hobbit staring at the orange juice carton? It said “concentrate!”
- What kind of music do Hobbits listen to? Anything but heavy metal, they prefer the sound of lighter fluid!
- Why did the Hobbit cross the playground? To get to the other slide!
- What do you call a group of Hobbits who sing together? A hair-mony!
- Why did the Hobbit bring a ladder to the library? Because he heard the books were on high shelves!
- What’s a Hobbit’s favorite type of math? Addi-shun, because they love second breakfast!
- Why are Hobbits such good gardeners? They have really green thumbs!
- What do you call a Hobbit who’s always losing things? Bilbo Bag-gone!
- What position does a Hobbit play in soccer? Goal-keeper, because they’re great at saving things!
Hobbit Jokes and Puns for Elders
- You know you’re getting old when… Second breakfast starts to sound less appealing and more like a chore.
- Why did the elderly Hobbit refuse to use his walking stick? He wanted to feel like he was in his prime, even if it took an age to get anywhere.
- I tried to explain Bitcoin to a Hobbit elder the other day… He just kept muttering about how “There’s no gold in them computers!”
- Retirement for a Hobbit is basically… Just extending the “Elevenses” break to a full 24 hours.
- Heard about the Hobbit who opened a chain of retirement homes? Business was booming, they called it “The ShireCare Facility.”
- What’s a Hobbit elder’s favorite Agatha Christie novel? Three Blind Mice (because they can relate).
- Why are Hobbits so good at gardening, even in their old age? They’ve really mastered the art of “growing old with grace”… and tomatoes.
- I saw a Hobbit elder using Tinder the other day… Turns out “age is just a number” when you’ve got a magic ring that makes you invisible.
- My grandpappy always said: “Never trust a skinny Hobbit…” …Turns out he was just jealous of their second breakfast metabolism.
- How is a Hobbit like a fine wine? They both get better with age… except when they turn into grumpy old wizards.
- Why did the Hobbit elder cross the road? No one’s quite sure, he started telling the story three hours ago and they’re still on about a talking mushroom he met in his youth.
- They say Hobbits are at their wisest in old age… Personally, I think they’re just better at pretending they know what’s going on.
- I asked a Hobbit elder for the secret to a long and happy life… He just winked and said, “Never underestimate the power of a good pipe and an even better vintage.”
- You know you’re a Hobbit elder when… Adventure now means successfully navigating the grocery store before the early-bird special ends.
Hobbit Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media
- Why are Hobbits such good gardeners? They know how to handle a hoe-bit! 🌱
- A Hobbit walks into a bar and orders a pint. As he’s paying, he drops a coin. It rolls towards a dark corner. “Don’t worry,” says the Hobbit, “I’ve got my second breakfist.” 💰
- I tried to write a song about a Hobbit who loses his precious ring… but I couldn’t find the right key. 🎶
- What do you call a Hobbit who’s always getting into trouble? A Bilbo-baggins! 😈
- Why don’t you ever see Hobbits at concerts? They only listen to fiddle music! 🎻
- My friend said he wanted to live like a Hobbit. So I moved his house to my basement. He wasn’t amused by my hobbit-at. 🏠
- How is a Hobbit’s house like a computer? They both have mega-bites. 💻
- I saw a Hobbit riding a rocking horse earlier. I thought to myself, “That’s a little forward, even for a Shire horse.” 🐎
- You shall not paws! What Gandalf says to a Hobbit trying to sneak another cookie. 🍪
- Why did the Hobbit cross the road? No particular reason, he was just taking the long way home.🚶♂️
- Where do hobbits keep their money? In a river bank, of course! 💰 🏞️
- What do you call a Hobbit’s second favorite dance after the jig? The twist-off! (Get it? Because of the ring…) 💍💃
- Hobbit dating is so confusing. Are they seeing someone, or are they just Second Breakfasting? 🤔
- I tried to explain to a Hobbit why the Earth is round… He just gave me a blank Shire.🌎 🙄
Hobbit Humour: Shire Delight in Every Byte!
We hope these hobbit jokes were hobit-ly hilarious and didn’t leave you feeling too Tolkien a break! If you’re still hungry for more pun-derful laughs, be sure to burrow into the endless supply of rib-tickling jokes and puns on our website! Don’t be a fool of a Took, click on over!
