94+ Plum Jokes & Puns: You’re the Stone’s Throw!
Get ready to laugh your plums off! 😂 This isn’t your average fruit basket of jokes – we’ve got the best selection of plum puns and humor so funny, it’s practically criminal. Whether you’re a kid or just a kid at heart, get ready for a clever and juicy list of puns that’ll tickle your funny bone ’til it’s prune! 🤪 Get ready to dive into a world of plum-tastic wordplay!
Top Plum Jokes – Best Picks
- Why did the plum get a job at the bank? Because it was always good with its finances.
- What did the plum say when it bumped into the apple? “Excuse me, are you blushing, or is it just me?”
- I tried to make plum juice by stepping on grapes… …but I think I just made wine. It’s a grape mistake.
- You know, I used to be addicted to plums… Luckily, I’m prune now.
- Why don’t plums share their toys? Because they’re always plum selfish!
- What do you call a pampered plum? A spoiled rotten fruit.
- What’s a plum’s favorite type of music? Anything with a good beat and plum-believable lyrics!
- My friend said his new apartment is plum-believable. I guess I’ll have to see it to be-leaf it.
- Why did the plum join the circus? It dreamt of being a juggler, but it always bottled it at the last minute.
- How do you make a plum smoothie? Give it to a really grumpy teenager.
- What’s a plum’s favorite fairytale? Snow White and the Seven Plums, of course!
- Why did the police arrest the plum? They had strong fruit to suspect it was in a jam.
- You know what they say… Life is like a bowl of plums: you never know what you’re gonna get.
Clever Plum Puns – Best Picks
- I tried to make a fruit salad, but I only had a plum-ful of ingredients.
- This smoothie is amazing! They really outdid themselves. It’s absolutely plum-believable!
- What did the plum say when it bumped into the peach? “Excuse me, are you peachy?”
- I tried to make plum wine, but I think I fermented it in-plum-properly. Now it just tastes like juice!
- Ever notice how plums are always getting into sticky situations? They’re real jam-sters!
- My friend said he was going to become a plum farmer, but I told him, “Don’t be silly, that’s just plum-posterous!”
- Why was the plum late for the fruit party? He got stuck in a traffic jam!
- That comedian is hilarious! He’s absolutely plum-tastic!
- What’s a plum’s favorite genre of music? Anything but heavy metal – they can’t stand the pits!
- I love plums, they’re so a-peeling!
- What did the plum say after winning the lottery? “I guess you could say I’m plum-derfully wealthy now!”
- Life is like a bowl of plums – you never know what you’re gonna get!
- My attempt at baking a plum cake was a complete dis-aster. I think I used the wrong kind of flour.
- I’m feeling very optimistic about this new job opportunity. I think it’ll work out plum-fectly!
- What did the plum say to the prune? “Hey, you look familiar! Have we met before? 🤔”
Funny Plum One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Plum Jokes
- I tried to make plum juice by stepping on grapes, but it just turned out to be a real grape mistake.
- What did the plum say when it bumped into the apple? “Excuse me, I haven’t got a pith.”
- Plums are so full of themselves. They’re always saying, “We’re the pits!”
- Why did the plum get fired from the orchestra? He played everything in the pits-simo.
- Life is like a bowl of plums… you never know what you’re gonna get. Except a pit. You always get a pit.
- I tried to buy plum flavored chewing gum, but it was out of stock. The cashier said they were plum out.
- A plum walks into a bar and says, “Hey, I’m looking for a date!” The bartender points to the calendar and says, “Check there, it has all the dates.”
- What’s a plum’s favorite genre of music? Anything with a good beat.
- You know what they say about plum pie? It’s all good until you hit the pit.
- My friend told me he was starting a plum-based cryptocurrency. I told him it sounded like a pit-y investment.
- I tried to make a sculpture out of plums, but it kept falling apart. It was totally un-plum-posed.
- The plum went on a diet and lost a lot of weight. Now it’s a prune, but still feeling very im-peach-y.
- Never trust a smiling plum. They’re always up to some-pit-hing.
Plum QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Plum
- Q: Why did the plum get a job at the bank? A: It heard they were looking for someone with good “pit”-ential.
- Q: What did the plum say when it bumped into the apple? A: “Excuse me, are you a-peel-ing to anyone in particular?”
- Q: Why are plums such terrible dancers? A: They always get pitted against each other.
- Q: How did the plum pass its history exam? A: It knew all about the Stone Age.
- Q: What’s a plum’s favorite type of music? A: Anything with a good beat…and a pit.
- Q: Why did the plum cross the road? A: To prove he wasn’t chicken…or a prune.
- Q: What do you call a plum that’s a detective? A: An investi-pit-tor!
- Q: What do you get if you cross a plum and a lemon? A: A fruit that’s absolutely plum-believable!
- Q: Why did the plum start a band? A: It already had a pit crew.
- Q: What’s a plum’s favorite Shakespeare play? A: “Measure for Measure-ment,” of course! (referring to plum sizes)
- Q: What do you call a group of singing plums? A: A fruit choir-al.
- Q: Did you hear about the plum who became a millionaire? A: He had a real “pit” to riches story.
- Q: Why was the plum feeling blue? A: It was having a real pit-y party.
- Q: What’s a plum’s favorite type of car? A: Anything with a sunroof, so it can feel the breeze on its skin…or should we say, its peel?
Dad Jokes About Plum: Pun-Filled Quips
- I told my son his new plum-colored shirt was very becoming. He told me, “Dad, that’s so raisin.”
- Why did the plum get a promotion at the fruit stand? Because it was always outstanding in its field!
- What do you call a well-dressed plum? A fashion-a-plum!
- What do you call a plum that’s a really good detective? An investi-grape-tor!
- Why did the plum get lost? It took the wrong prune!
- I went to an art exhibition about plums yesterday. It was surprisingly moving.
- What’s a plum’s favorite type of music? Anything but the blues!
- Why don’t plums like to share? They’re always a little pit-iful!
- Did you hear about the plum that went to the comedy club? It died on the vine!
- I tried to make a plum pie, but it came out all wrong. Guess I used the wrong prune juice.
- What did the plum say to the peach during their tennis match? “Let’s make this a proper jam session!”
- I tried to make plum jam last night, but I think I used the wrong kind of sugar. Now it’s just plum awkward.
- What’s purple and about five thousand miles long? The Grape Wall of China. And if it was made of plums? Now that would be plum impressive.
- My attempt at making a plum-flavored soda pop was a complete disaster. It was a total fizz-asco.
Plum Jokes and Puns for Kids
- What did the plum say to the peach at the party? “Hey there, lookin’ peachy!”
- What’s a plum’s favorite type of music? Anything but the blues!
- Why did the plum get a job at the bank? Because it was always good with its pit-tances!
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Plum. Plum who? Plum delighted to meet you!
- Why don’t plums like to share their toys? Because they’re a little bit pit- possessive!
- What happens when a plum and an apricot have a competition? It’s always a close pit-ch!
- What did the happy plum say on a sunny day? “Life is just peachy!”
- Why did the plum get lost in the kitchen? Because it took the wrong turn at the apple-plum-turnover!
- What do you get if you cross a plum with a lemon? A fruit that’s both sweet and sour, just like my baby brother!
- Why was the baby plum crying? Because it lost its pit-i-ful blanket!
- What’s purple and goes round and round? A plum stuck on a merry-go-round!
- Why was the plum invited to every party? Because it was always the life of the pit-nic!
Plum Jokes and Puns for Elders
- My doctor told me to eat more prunes for regularity. I told him, “Don’t you mean plums?” He said, “No, I think you’ve had enough fun with those.”
- What did the retired gardener say about his prized plum tree? “Used to bear fruit, now it just bears witness.”
- Why don’t they play poker in the plum orchard? Too many prunes bluffing.
- I met a woman at the farmers market who claimed to be a plum whisperer. Turns out, she was just pitting me against the competition.
- Retirement is like a plum: It might take a while to ripen, and then you only have a short time to enjoy it before you start to feel rotten.
- I accidentally dropped a plum onto my vintage record player – it made quite the prune impression.
- My financial advisor told me to invest in a promising new plum orchard. I told him, “Sounds like a pit-y good opportunity.”
- You know you’re getting old when you remember when “plum” was a slang term for something good, and now it just reminds you of constipation.
- Why did the elderberry accuse the plum of being a hypocrite? Because it claimed to be sweet, but was always in a jam.
- Why did the plum cross the road? To get to the prune convention – it figured it was about time to start associating with its own kind.
- My grandkids complain about my taste in furniture. Honestly, the mid-century modern look is very “in” right now. They’re plum crazy!
- I tried to make a fancy plum tart using my mother-in-law’s recipe, but I guess I didn’t follow the directions precisely enough. Now it’s just a big old pit-y.
- The plum boasted about its smooth skin, saying, “See, I haven’t aged a day!” The prune replied, “Darling, just wait.”
- My friend told me I should write a memoir about my life. I told her: “Honey, by the time I’m old enough to have a ‘tell-all,’ everything juicy will be too scandalous to print… or I’ll have completely plum forgotten it.”
- They say life is like a bowl of plums – you never know what you’re gonna get. But at our age, honey, we’ve already had a taste of the whole bowl. And some of those plums, well… let’s just say we learned to spit out the pits.
Plum Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media
- I tried to make plum juice earlier… Turns out, I just don’t have the concentration.
- Just saw a guy juggling plums in the park. I thought to myself, “That’s impressive, he’s really got a lot on his plate.”
- What’s a plum’s favorite type of music? Anything but heavy metal… they prefer the blues.
- Why are plums such good storytellers? Because they always have a pit-hy tale to tell.
- You know what they say about plum trees? The fruit never falls far from the branch.
- My friend told me he was going to prune his plum tree… I said, “Be careful, wouldn’t want you to get into any sticky situations!”
- I met a plum at the gym today, he was looking very fit… Turns out, he’d just joined the prune club.
- Why did the plum get in trouble at school? He kept throwing the pits at the other fruits.
- My attempt at making plum jam was a complete failure… Guess I just couldn’t cut it.
- What do you call a group of plums singing in harmony? A plum choir… obviously!
- My dog ate all the plums I bought… Now I’m plum-founded!
- Why did the plum refuse to share its juice? It was too full of itself.
- I’m starting to think my friend is obsessed with plums … He talks about them all the time. It’s plum-believable!
- Just bought a new car that’s the exact color of a ripe plum… It’s plum-tastic!
- What do you call a plum that’s also a detective? An investi-grape-tor!
That’s All Folks! Plum Outta Here! 😜
We’ve reached the pit of our plum-tastic pun adventure! We hope these jokes were the perfect way to unwind after a long day. Don’t let the laughter stop here, though. We’ve got a whole orchard of hilarious puns and jokes waiting to be discovered on our website. Go ahead, take a peek – you’d be plum crazy not to!
