Dive into 110+ Neptune Puns & Jokes: They’re Out of this World!
Dive into the funniest body of water in the solar system (we checked, and there’s no punchline ocean π) with our list of Neptune puns! π We’ve got the best, most clever Neptune jokes and humor for kids and adults alike. Get ready for some serious laughs ββ these puns are Neptune-ly bad, they’re good! π€£
Top Neptune Jokes – Best Picks
Why is Neptune so bad at poker? He’s always bluffing about having a full house of moons.
How long does it take to get from Neptune to Uranus? …I don’t know, but I hear it’s a gas!
What do you get if you cross the sea with a Roman god? … Nep-tunes!
Why did Neptune get voted “Most Likely to Succeed” in high school? He was always surrounded by rings.
Did you hear about the Neptune restaurant that opened on the moon? I heard the food is good but it has no atmosphere.
What’s Neptune’s favorite snack? Ocean-flavored chips. He likes them salty with a Triton crunch!
Why did the astronaut break up with Neptune? She needed her space.
How can you tell itβs summer on Neptune? The temperature goes up from negative 353 to negative 352 degrees.
What do you call a king who’s really good at surfing? King Nep-Tune!
Did you hear about the robbery on Neptune? Police say theyβre looking for a ring leader.
Knock, knock. … Whoβs there? Neptune. … Neptune who? Neptune telling you again, Iβm the eighth planet!
What’s Neptune’s favorite song? “Ocean Eyes” by Billie Eilish, of course!

Clever Neptune Puns – Best Picks
Heard Neptune’s feeling under the weather. Must be a bad case of the nep-tunes! πΆ
What did the ocean say to Neptune after a long day? “We really nep-tune to talk!” π€«π
Neptune’s dating profile is hilarious. It says, “Looking for someone to tide me over.” ππ
Why did Neptune fail his music exam? He was caught plagiarizing from The Beach Boys! π€π«
Just saw a seahorse wearing a crown. Must be Neptune’s nep-hew! ππ΄
What’s Neptune’s favorite candy? Salt-water taffy, of course! ππ
Went to a party at Neptune’s palace last night. Let’s just say it was off the hook! ππ
Neptune’s new submarine is the talk of the ocean. It’s really making waves! ππ£οΈ
Why is Neptune so cool? He’s always down to shell-ebrate! ππ
Neptune’s got a new job guarding the ocean floor. He’s such a treasure! π±π°
Funny Neptune One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Neptune Jokes
I tried to explain to my friend what Neptune is made of, but I think he’s still feeling nept-uneasy about it.
Neptune’s dating profile says, “Looking for someone out of this world.”
Did you hear about the restaurant on Neptune? The food is good but it has no atmosphere.
I wanted to visit Neptune, but the trip was too far out.
Never start a fight with Neptune, he’s got a lot of gravity.
That new telescope is fantastic! I can see Neptune so clearly, it’s like I’m practically nept-here!
I thought I was good at astronomy, but Neptune really threw me for a loop.
They say Neptune is uninhabitable, I guess we’ll never know what nept-unravels there.
Neptune’s favorite music? Anything with a good beat, so he can really planet.
You know you’re obsessed with space when you can spell both “Neptune” and “Uranus” without looking them up.
Neptune and Uranus walk into a bar, the bartender takes one look at them and says, “Well, this is awkward…”
Neptune QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Neptune
Q: Why did Neptune get a bad grade on his mythology test? A: He kept getting the River Styx and the River Lethe mixed up. He really needed to work on his Nep-tune!
Q: What do you call a group of Neptune’s royal subjects having a pool party? A: A splash mob!
Q: Why did Neptune refuse to take the blame for the stormy seas? A: He claimed it was just a case of mis-trident-ity!
Q: How does Neptune make his coffee? A: He brews it with tide and time!
Q: What’s Neptune’s favorite Disney movie? A: The Little Mer-Maid for sure!
Q: What did the ocean say to Neptune after a big storm? A: “That was wave-ly terrifying!”
Q: What’s Neptune’s favorite social media platform? A: Insta-graham, of course!
Q: Why did Saturn break up with Neptune? A: She felt he was two tides controlling.
Q: Why is Neptune such a good DJ? A: He’s got the perfect wave-length for every occasion!
Q: What sound does Neptuneβs doorbell make? A: Aqua-honk!
Q: Where does Neptune keep his money? A: In an ocean-ic account!
Q: What did they say about Neptune’s new trident? A: It’s really “trident” setting!
Q: Why is it so easy to get lost in Neptune’s palace? A: All the corridors look aqua-same!
Q: Why don’t they play poker on Neptune’s moon, Triton? A: Too much bluff-ing!
Dad Jokes About Neptune: Pun-Filled Quips
I wanted to learn more about Neptune, but it seemed like a deep subject.
Heard it’s really windy on Neptune. Guess you could say the weather’s a little…intense.
Neptune’s rings are so faint, they’re practically Nep-tune-existent!
What do you call it when Neptune wins a game? A Nep-tune-ian victory!
Someone asked me how big Neptune is. I told them, “It’s Nep-tune-believable!”
Took a wrong turn at Saturn… I guess you could say I’m Nep-tuned!
Neptune’s moons are always arguing. They just can’t seem to get a-long.
Why doesn’t Neptune ever get lost? It’s got its own solar system address!
What’s Neptune’s favorite drink? A Nep-tonic, of course!
Did you hear about the restaurant on Neptune? The food was good, but it had no atmosphere.
What do you call a fashionable planet? A Nep-trend-setter!
Neptune’s feeling pretty chilly. Must be a case of the space-flu.
They say Neptune has 14 moons. Seems like a lot to planet!
Want to know something funny about Neptune? Just ask me… I’ve got a million of ’em!
How long does it take to learn everything about Neptune? Well, astronomically speaking, it could take a while!
Neptune Jokes and Puns for Kids
Why did Neptune get in trouble in art class? Because he was always drawing NEPTUNES!
What’s Neptune’s favorite snack? Chips and dip…tune!
You know what’s odd about Neptune? He always seems to be in a nept-TUNE mood!
What did the ocean say to Neptune? Nothing, it just WAVED!
Why was Neptune afraid to go to school? Because he heard there was going to be a pop NEPTUNE!
What do you call a tired Neptune? Sleepytime for NEPTUNE!
How does Neptune say hello? “Hey there, give me high fin!”
What kind of music does Neptune listen to? Anything with a good beat…and you can’t go wrong with “OCEAN Eyes!”
What did Neptune say to the asteroid? “Get out of my SPACE!”
Where does Neptune sleep? On his water bed, of course!
Why is Neptune so cool? He goes with the FLOW!
What do you call Neptune when he’s lost in thought? A deep thinker!
Neptune Jokes and Puns for Elders
Why did Neptune get carded at the intergalactic bar? They said he looked a little “young” for his age.
My retirement plan is as mysterious as Neptune’s core. I have no idea what’s going on, but I hope it’s comfortable.
Neptune is always invited to celestial parties. He’s known for his “magnetic” personality.
Met a Neptunian at bingo the other day. He was quite a catch, even though he kept muttering about “ocean currents” and “gravitational pull.”
Heard they’re building a luxury condo on one of Neptune’s moons. The brochure says it has “out of this world” amenities.
You know you’re getting old when… you remember when Neptune was just a planet and not an “ice giant.”
What do you call a Neptunian real estate agent? A “multi-planetary” broker.
Neptune and Uranus are planning a vacation together. Apparently, it’s a “gas.”
Been trying to learn the Neptunian national anthem. It’s a little hard to follow, what with all the “glub glub glubs.”
Went to a seminar about life on other planets. The Neptune segment was pretty “deep.”
Dating on Neptune is apparently quite dramatic. Lots of “tidal waves” of emotion.
Bought a telescope online, said it could see Neptune clearly. All I saw was a blurry dot. Guess you could say I got “nept-und.”
Neptune’s got 14 moons, you know what that means? It’s got a lot more celestial bodies to keep track of than I do at this age.
Let’s be honest, Neptune’s had billions of years to get its act together. Still looks pretty “stormy” over there.
Neptune Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media
Just saw Neptune at the grocery store… He told me he was looking for his Cerealestial breakfast.
What does Neptune use to clean his chariot? A Tide-tant! ππ±
Neptune’s new sea shanty is fire… It really rocks the ocean floor. πΆ
Just met Neptune’s cousin, Nephew-tune… He’s a little wet behind the ears. πΆ
You call it a “sea storm,” I call it… Neptune having a mood! π π
What’s Neptune’s favorite candy bar? A Milky Way… duh! ππ«
Heard Neptune got into a fight with the Sun… Sounds like a heated debate. π₯π
Neptune’s dating profile is hilarious… Says he’s looking for someone to tide him over. π
Breaking news: Neptune spotted with a man bun and beard… Looks like mermen are really trending this year. π§ββοΈ
Neptune walks into a bar… Asks for a sea-breeze and the bartender says, “Sorry, we’re all out.” π
My therapist told me to embrace my inner child… So I spent the day building sandcastles on Neptune’s beach. Don’t tell him! π€«ποΈ
Neptune’s favorite Shakespeare play? The Tempest, obviously! π
Tried to explain the internet to Neptune… He just stared blankly and said, “Sounds like a bunch of fishy business to me.” ππ€¨
Neptune-ly any puns left, sea you later!
We hope these Neptune puns and jokes had you riding the cosmic waves of laughter! For more stellar puns and jokes that are out of this world, be sure to explore the rest of our punny website. You’ll find a whole universe of funny waiting to be discovered!






