107+ Bard Jokes & Puns: A Bard-iful Collection 😜
Get ready to laugh your bard off! 😂 This isn’t your average list of jokes – we’ve compiled the best bard puns and clever wordplay, fit for kids and adults alike. 🎤 Whether you’re a fan of Shakespearean wit or just love a good pun, this collection of humor is sure to strike a chord. 🎶 Get your laughing gear ready, because these jokes are truly bard to resist! 😉
Top Bard Jokes – Best Picks
- Why did the Bard refuse to write tragedies anymore? He just couldn’t handle the drama!
- What’s a Bard’s favorite cereal? Cheerios, the breakfast of prose!
- Did you hear about the Bard who was also a carpenter? He was amazing at crafting words and shelves!
- Why are Bards such bad poker players? They always show their hand! (Get it? ‘Cause they write them…)
- How do you know if a Bard is lying? Their lips are moving, and they have a quill in hand.
- A Bard walks into a tavern and orders a drink. Before taking a sip, he announces, “I shall write a ballad about this very moment!” The barkeep sighs, “Just don’t forget to rhyme ‘ale’ with ‘stale,’ everyone does.”
- Why don’t Bards ever get lost? They always have a story to guide them!
- What’s a Bard’s favorite drink? Anything they can put a “dram” of whisky in!
- Why did the Bard bring a ladder to the poetry slam? He heard the competition was going to be verse!
- You know you’ve been hanging out with a Bard too long when… You start adding “-eth” to the end of your words.
- What’s a Bard’s biggest fear? Writer’s block…and running out of ink. And maybe critics. Okay, they have a lot of fears, but who doesn’t?
- Why don’t they let Bards play soccer? They always try to turn it into a sonnet!
Clever Bard Puns – Best Picks
- I tried to write a song about a broken pencil, but I couldn’t find the lead. Guess you could say I had a bit of writer’s bard.
- A bard walks into a tavern and orders a drink. As he’s paying, he accidentally drops his lute. “Don’t fret,” says the bartender, “it happens all the thyme.”
- This tavern is so loud, I can barely hear the bard singing! He needs more… watt-age.
- I used to think being a bard was easy, but then I realized it takes a lot of pluck.
- Why don’t they let medieval bards play electric guitars? They say it’s a violation of the lute-law.
- You know, Shakespeare wasn’t just a playwright, he was also a bard… wait for it… a starving artist who made a killing.
- I saw a bard playing a tiny harp the other day. It was a pocket-sized epic.
- What’s a bard’s favorite type of cheese? String cheese, because it reminds him of his lute!
- Why did the bard quit his job? Because he didn’t get a hymn-crease!
- What’s a bard’s favorite drink? Anything, as long as it’s on tap!
- A bard’s life is full of ups and downs. Mostly downs… usually in a tavern.
- I asked the bard to write a song about my cat. He said, “Sure, what’s the purr-fect tune?”
- Never interrupt a bard while they’re composing a limerick. It’s bad etiquette.
- What do you call a group of bards who can’t stay on key? A natural dis-chorde.
- Bard: “Hey, can I borrow a few bucks?” Friend: “For what?” Bard: “To buy a vowel. My songs are getting a little hoarse.”
Funny Bard One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Bard Jokes
- A bard walks into a tavern and yells, “Hey, can I get a pint of ale and a rhyming dictionary? I’m feeling verse-atile tonight!”
- Why did the bard bring a ladder to the poetry slam? He heard the competition was going to be epic.
- Never ask a bard to keep a secret, they’re always spilling the tea…and rhyming it.
- What’s a bard’s favorite type of cheese? Camem-brie-at!
- A bard walks into a library and asks for books about paranoia. The librarian whispers, “They’re right behind you!”
- The bard was fired from the orchestra for playing too loud. He said it was a symphony of errors.
- Why did the bard refuse to write a song about pizza? He couldn’t find a good thyme scheme.
- Being a bard is a tough job, but hey, someone’s gotta lute for a living.
- Did you hear about the bard who was arrested? He got caught plagiarizing lyrics and was charged with grand larceny verse.
- Why don’t bards use GPS? They prefer to follow the rhythmical road less traveled.
- You know you’ve been hanging out with bards too long when your grocery list starts to rhyme.
- A bard went to the bank to get a loan to start his own tavern. He promised, “It will be a great place for prose and cons!”
- I tried to make a pun about a bard, but it fell flat. Apparently, my timing was off-beat.
- What do you get when you mix a bard and a vampire? A creature of the rhyme!
Bard QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Bard
- Q: Why did the Bard get kicked out of the orchestra? A: He kept insisting on playing air lute!
- Q: What do you call a Bard who’s always cold? A: A shiver-alry writer!
- Q: Did you hear about the Bard who was a terrible gambler? A: He always went all-in on a rhyme and a prayer!
- Q: What’s a Bard’s favorite board game? A: Scrabble, but they always insist on using Olde English spellings!
- Q: Why don’t they let Bards play poker in the royal court? A: Too many rhyming couplets up their sleeves!
- Q: What’s a Bard’s favorite type of cheese? A: Camem-bard!
- Q: What’s a Bard’s favorite type of fish? A: Swordfish, because they love a good story with a sharp point!
- Q: Why did the Bard bring a ladder to the poetry slam? A: He heard the competition was going to be “verse”!
- Q: How do you get a Bard to smile for a picture? A: Say “cheese” with a Shakespearean flourish!
- Q: What do you call a Bard who’s lost their voice? A: A writer’s blockhead!
- Q: Why did the Bard cross the road? A: To get to the other’s side’s story!
- Q: What’s a Bard’s favorite drink? A: Anything with a good story… and a high alcohol content!
- Q: Why don’t Bards like fast food restaurants? A: They prefer their meals with a side of dramatic irony!
- Q: What do you call a Bard who’s also a lawyer? A: A master of verse-atility!
- Q: How can you tell if a Bard is lying? A: Their lips are moving…and probably composing a sonnet about it!
Dad Jokes About Bard: Pun-Filled Quips
- Why did the Bard cross the road? To get to the other syde!
- What’s a Bard’s favorite drink? A Shakespear-ita!
- I asked Bard to write me a poem about a plumber. It said, “Give me a minute, I’ve got to think of a good pipe-line.”
- Did you hear about the Bard who went to culinary school? He specialized in iambic pentameter-paninis.
- What’s a Bard’s favorite type of car? A Ford Focus… on poetry, of course!
- I tried to write a song about Bard, but I couldn’t find the right words. Guess you could say I had writer’s block.
- My son asked me if Bard could write a better love letter than me. I said, “Honey, don’t be ridiculous. This competition is not even sonnet.”
- What’s Bard’s favorite board game? Scrabble, because it’s all about the word play!
- What did the Bard say to the empty tavern? “Alas, poor Yor-ick, I knew him, Horatio… but I guess nobody else did.”
- Bard tried to join the orchestra, you know? It wanted to play the lyre.
- Why is Bard such a great storyteller? Because it always knows just the write words to use.
- What’s Bard’s favorite snack? Prose-ciutto!
Bard Jokes and Puns for Kids
- What do you call a bard who loves to sleep? A slumberd!
- What’s a bard’s favorite school subject? History, of course!
- Why did the bard get lost in the library? He couldn’t find the verse he was looking for!
- What do you get if you cross a bard and a sheep? A woolly rhymester!
- Why don’t bards use pencils? Because they prefer to write in verse!
- What kind of bird loves telling stories? A talerd!
- What’s a bard’s favorite type of fish? A sturgeon… ’cause it sounds like story-eon!
- What’s a bard’s favorite drink? Anything that inspires them!
- Why did the bard bring a dictionary to the party? In case he needed to look up a good synonym!
- What do you call a group of bards playing music together? A symphony of stories!
- Why did the bard cross the playground? To get to the other slide… of the story!
- What do you call a bard who’s always in a rush? A speedy poet!
- What’s a bard’s favorite board game? Story Cubes!
Bard Jokes and Puns for Elders
- Why did the retired Bard refuse to learn the new lute song? He said, “At my age, it’s all just fretting and strumming.”
- A Bard walks into a tavern and orders a drink. As he sits there, he hears a beautiful, haunting melody. He asks the barkeep, “What’s that lovely music?” The barkeep replies, “That’s the house band, they’re called ‘The Memories’. They only play tunes you’ve completely forgotten.”
- You know you’re an old Bard when… Your idea of a power ballad is humming along to your latest blood pressure reading.
- A young Bard nervously approaches a group of seasoned performers. “Any advice for a novice like me?” he asks. An old Bard looks him up and down and says, “Son, always remember: 90% of life is just showing up…with the right lute strings.”
- What’s a Bard’s favorite pickup line? “Is your name Wi-Fi? Because I’m feeling a connection.” pauses, winks “And I have unlimited data.”
- I went to a Bard convention the other day… Turned out it was more of a lyre-a.
- Why did the Bard break up with the playwright? They had too much drama. Besides, she said his verses weren’t iambic enough.
- Ever notice how Bards always look so thin? It’s all that verse-atility… they never know where their next meal is coming from.
- My doctor told me I have a lute- intolerance. Turns out, I’ve been playing too much, and now my fingers are numb.
- You know you’ve been a Bard for too long when… You start humming tavern music while waiting for your medications at the pharmacy.
- Why are Bards such terrible gamblers? They always go all in on a rhyme.
- What do you call a Bard who’s lost their voice? A mime with a midlife crisis.
- They say writing sonnets keeps you young… If that’s true, then William Shakespeare must have been immortal! Either that, or he was really good at faking his own death.
- Retirement’s been tough for the old Bard… No audience, no applause, just him and his cat. The other day he caught it batting at a feather toy, sighed, and muttered, “Ah, to be young and have such paw-etry in your soul again.”
- What’s a Bard’s favorite board game? “Settlers of Catan-tune” winks “Get it? Catan… like a song…”
Bard Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media
- I tried to join a Shakespearean rap battle… But they told me I wasn’t bard enough.
- Why did the Bard get kicked out of the orchestra? He kept saying “flute” every time someone made a mistake.
- Did you hear about the Bard who opened a coffee shop? He named it “Taming of the Brew.”
- What’s a Bard’s favorite type of fish? Sopranos!
- I met a Bard who could predict the future using only a deck of cards. Turns out he was just a Tarot-ly normal guy.
- Just saw a Bard using a typewriter… Talk about old-school prose!
- What’s a Bard’s favorite way to eat a salad? Anything but verse-a!
- Why did the Bard cross the road? To get to the other s-i-de! (Get it? Like iambic pentameter? …I’ll see myself out.)
- What do you call a Bard who moonlights as a detective? Sherlock Homie-o-path.
- Why don’t they let Bards play poker? Too many lyrical tells.
- My friend said Bards are irrelevant in the age of auto-tune. I told him that was a pretty tone-deaf thing to say.
- A Bard walks into a tavern and orders a drink. As he’s paying, he accidentally knocks over a lute. “Don’t fret,” says the bartender, “it happens.”
- What’s a Bard’s favorite board game? Scrabble, they always get all the good words!
- What’s a Bard’s favorite type of clothing? A poet-shirt, of course!
Bard Out! Mic Dropped, Lutes Out. 🎤 🎻
We hope these bard jokes struck a chord with you, even if some were a bit out of tune! If you’re still hungry for more laughs, don’t just sit there like a speechless mime – explore the rest of our pun-derful website! We’ve got jokes about every topic under the sun, from history to science and everything in between. So go on, take a lyrical journey through our pages and prepare to be amused!
