95+ Tarot Jokes & Puns: You’ll Die Laughing!
🔮🃏 Hey there, future comedians! 🃏🔮 Ready to shuffle up some laughs with the best tarot jokes and puns this side of the veil? 😉 We’ve got a mystical list of funny tarot jokes for kids and adults – because who says fortune-telling can’t be hilarious?! Get ready for some clever wordplay and mystical humor – it’s time to unleash your inner comedian! 😂
Clever Tarot Puns – Top Picks
- Tarot-ally awesome reading!
- Having a Tarot-ific time!
- This deck is so Tarot-fyingly accurate.
- Tarot-ally worth it!
- Feeling Tarot-ally inspired.
- You’re looking Tarot-ally stressed.
- That’s so Tarot-able!
- Tarot-ally believe it or not…
- This spread is Tarot-ally wild!
- My intuition is Tarot-ally on point.
- Tarot-ally need a reading after this week.
- The future is Tarot-ally in your hands.
- Tarot-ally obsessed with this deck!
- You’re a Tarot-al natural!
- Don’t be Tarot-ified of your future!
Top Tarot Jokes – Best Picks
- Why did the Tarot reader get a job at the bank? Because she was good with accounts…and fortunes! 💰🔮
- What did the Tarot deck say to the skeptic? “Suit yourself!” 🃏💁♀️
- You know you’re obsessed with Tarot when… you start interpreting your cereal box for hidden messages. 🥣👁️
- My therapist suggested I try Tarot… said it would help me deal with my unresolved issues. I told him I don’t have any, but he insisted I was just in denial. 🤨🃏
- I’m starting a new dating app exclusively for Tarot readers. It’s called “The Lovers, but make it modern.” 📱❤️
- My spirit guide told me to invest in crypto… Turns out, even the afterlife has financial advisors. 👻💸
- What do you call a lazy Tarot reader? Someone who just wings every reading. 😴🕊️
- I got kicked out of a Tarot reading for laughing. Apparently, the Tower card collapsing doesn’t mean “hilarious chaos.” 💥🤭
- Why don’t Tarot cards work in the jungle? Too many cheetahs! 🐆 (Cheaters, get it?)
- I asked the Tarot cards about my love life, and they drew me a blank. Guess I’m destined to be single…and emotionally unavailable. 💔🤖
- What’s a Tarot reader’s favorite drink? Anything they can sip and say, “Interesting…” 🤔☕
- Life is like a Tarot deck. You never know what hand you’re gonna get, but you gotta shuffle through it anyway. 🃏🚶♀️
- Why did the fortune teller refuse to read the Death card? He wasn’t ready to face the music! 💀🎶
Funny Tarot One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Tarot Jokes
- I tried to make a tarot card reading app, but it kept crashing. Turns out it was just a deck app failure.
- My tarot deck told me to follow my dreams. I guess I’m going back to bed.
- I asked my tarot deck what my biggest strength was. It said “interpretation.” Sounds about right.
- My tarot deck said I’d be meeting someone “interesting” soon. I sure hope they meant “rich” but knowing my luck, it’ll be a mime with a parking ticket.
- Someone stole my credit card and did a tarot reading with it. I guess you could say I got financially decked.
- You know you’re obsessed with tarot when you start seeing Major Arcana symbols in your cereal.
- What’s a tarot reader’s favorite drink? Anything with a good cardamom flavor.
- Reading tarot cards for cats is tricky, they’re not very good at shuffling and keep picking the “Tower” card with their claws.
- Tried to pay for my groceries with tarot cards… the cashier wasn’t suited for it.
- My friend got a job writing horoscopes based solely on randomly drawn tarot cards. He says it’s surprisingly accurate.
- I don’t need a tarot deck to tell me what’s in store for you… debt. (Say it with a sly smile)
- I told my date I was really into tarot. He said, “That’s cool, I’m into Taurus.” Guess our love wasn’t written in the stars after all.
- Just found out my tarot deck is actually waterproof. Time to find my inner swim reader.
- What’s a pirate’s favorite tarot card? The RHODes you take.
- The other day I saw a psychic dog reading tarot cards. I was impressed, but then I realized it was just a paw reading.
Tarot QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Tarot
- Q: Why did the Tarot reader get fired from the bakery? A: They kept saying “That’s one crusty deck!”
- Q: What did the Tarot card say to the skeptic? A: “Suit yourself.”
- Q: I asked the Tarot about my love life, and it drew me The Tower card… A: Sounds like a relationship built on shaky ground!
- Q: Which Tarot card is always broke? A: The Page of Pentacles… he never learned to save!
- Q: Why don’t Tarot cards get invited to poker night? A: They keep trying to tell everyone’s fortune instead of playing the hand!
- Q: What did the frustrated Tarot deck say after a long day of readings? A: “I’m shuffling off this mortal coil!”
- Q: How can you tell if a Tarot reader is lying? A: Their lips are shuffling!
- Q: My friend said I shouldn’t rely on Tarot cards… A: Did they pull that advice out of a hat?
- Q: Why did the fool ignore the Tarot card’s advice? A: He didn’t want to listen to any ‘card-inal’ rules!
- Q: Why did the Tarot reader bring a ladder to work? A: To reach for higher meanings!
- Q: What’s a Tarot reader’s favorite type of music? A: Anything with a good shuffle!
- Q: What do you call a Tarot deck that’s always causing trouble? A: A card shark!
- Q: I think my Tarot deck is judging me… A: Well, it is the Judgement card’s job, isn’t it?
- Q: What’s a Tarot reader’s favorite board game? A: Clue… but they already know who did it, where, and with what!
Dad Jokes About Tarot: Pun-Filled Quips
- I’m not saying I’m good at reading tarot cards, but I can definitely see your future… It’s looking bright!
- I wanted to get my fortune read, but the line for the tarot reader was taking tarot-ly too long!
- You wanna know why I trust tarot readers? They’ve always got a good story.
- I asked the tarot reader about my love life. She said, “Don’t worry, you’re going to meet someone very special…” Then she pulled out the Ten of Cups. Turns out “someone very special” means “my family.”
- Where do fortune tellers go on vacation? Fort Lauderdale!
- My wife said I needed to connect with my spiritual side, so I bought some tarot cards online. The package just arrived – turns out I used the wrong website. Now I’m the proud owner of 52 magic towelettes.
- My kid asked me how tarot cards are different from playing cards. I said, “Well, for one thing, you can’t play poker with tarot cards – unless you want to see your financial future go up in flames.”
- Why is it so hard to keep secrets in a house full of tarot card readers? Because they’ve always got a way of revealing the truth!
- What do you get when you cross a tarot reader and a librarian? All the answers you’ll ever need… eventually.
- I used to think about becoming a tarot card reader, but then I realized… I didn’t have the patients!
- My tarot card reader told me I’m going to come into a lot of money soon. I’m starting to think she meant laundry day– it’s about time to collect all those quarters from my kid’s pants pockets.
- What’s a tarot reader’s least favorite dessert? Anything with too much tarot crust!
Tarot Jokes and Puns for Kids
- Why did the Tarot card get sent to the principal’s office? Because it kept telling everyone’s fortune!
- What’s a Tarot card’s favorite breakfast? Cereal and destiny!
- What did the magician say to the sleepy Tarot deck? “Wake up! It’s time to shuffle things up!”
- What happens when a Tarot card tells a lie? It gets put in the deck of shame!
- Why are Tarot cards bad at poker? They always try to foresee the flop! 😂
- Why did the Tarot card lose its job? It couldn’t keep its readings short!
- What’s a Tarot card’s favorite drink? Tarot tea! ☕️
- Why don’t Tarot cards like arguing? They always want the final card!
- What’s a Tarot card’s favorite school subject? His-tory!
- Where do Tarot cards go on vacation? The Fort-une 500!
- Why don’t Tarot cards like playing hide and seek? They can always see where you are! 🙈
- What do you get if you cross a Tarot card with a frog? I don’t know, but it will probably predict a hoppy future!
- What kind of music do Tarot cards listen to? Fort-une cookie rap! 🎶
- How do Tarot cards travel? By card-pool! 🚗
Tarot Jokes and Puns for Elders
- Tarot-fied Humor for the Wise and Wonderful:
- I tried to join a tarot card club, but they wouldn’t let me in. They said I wasn’t suited for it.
- My retirement plan is basically just drawing a daily tarot card. Today I got the Wheel of Fortune. Fingers crossed it’s the one with the million dollar wedge!
- My doctor said I need to reduce my stress levels. So I asked my tarot reader for advice. She said “Look, I’m not a financial advisor…”
- A friend asked me to guess what card she drew from the Major Arcana. I said “Death?” She said, “Close! It was The World.” Apparently, I have a knack for this.
- Me: “How much do you charge for a tarot reading?” Reader: “$50 for the whole hand.” Me: “How about just the lifeline? I’m on a budget.”
- Went to a psychic who used to work for the government. Turns out he wasn’t a tarot reader, he was an ex-CIA ro-mancer.
- What’s a tarot reader’s favorite dance move? The Shuffle.
- You know you’re old when the “Death” card in a tarot reading just reminds you to renew your driver’s license.
- Tarot reader told me I’m going to meet a tall, dark stranger. Turns out it was just the new maintenance guy coming to fix the leaky faucet. Romance is dead.
- My grandkids gave me a deck of Pokémon tarot cards. Apparently, my spirit Pokémon is a Jigglypuff. Not sure what that says about me, but I’m not singing for anyone.
- I told the tarot reader my back has been hurting. She said, “That’ll be $50. … Oh, and try laying off the heavy lifting.”
- You know you’ve lived a full life when the “Tower” card in your tarot reading just makes you think about downsizing.
- Why don’t tarot readers win in poker? They keep folding their future.
- My grandkids bought me glow-in-the-dark tarot cards. Guess you could say they help me see my future… in the dark.
Tarot Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media
- Just got my Tarot cards read. Turns out my future’s so bright, I gotta wear shades…or at least a Scry-Clops. 😎
- My bank account is basically a simplified Tarot deck. Only two cards: The “Broke” and the “Even Broker.” 😭💸
- You know you’re obsessed with Tarot when your idea of a balanced breakfast is a cup of coffee and The Temperance card. ☕⚖️
- Just saw a Tarot reader on a motorcycle. Talk about a Fortune Teller on wheels! 🛵🔮
- What did the Tarot deck say to the skeptic? “Suit yourself.” 😏🃏
- Me trying to explain Tarot to my parents: “It’s like therapy, but with prettier pictures.” 🖼️💆♀️
- Went to a party with all the Major Arcana. Let’s just say things got pretty wild after The Devil showed up. 😈🎉
- Never ask a Tarot reader about their love life. It’s a bit of a touchy subject. 😉💔
- My spirit animal is The Tower card. Not because I’m destructive, but because I like to keep everyone on their toes. 😉🗼
- My therapist suggested I try journaling. I think she’ll be impressed when I show up with my Tarot journal and a year’s worth of spreads. 📓✨
- What’s a Tarot reader’s favorite weather? Anything with a chance of divination. 🌧️🔮
- You can’t trust atoms. They make up everything, even the cards in a Tarot deck. ⚛️🤯
- “I’m not saying I’m psychic, but I did pull The Fool card this morning…and then tripped over my cat.” – Everyone, probably. 😹🃏
