100+ Times Square Jokes & Puns: You’ll Have a Ball Dropping!
Get ready to laugh your Times Square off! 😂 This isn’t your average list of jokes – we’re serving up the best, most clever puns and funny quips about the dazzling heart of New York City. Whether you’re a seasoned punster or a kid who loves a good chuckle, get ready for a hilarious journey through the crossroads of humor! 🎉 Buckle up, because this list of Times Square jokes is about to get lit! ✨
Clever Times Square Puns – Top Picks
- Times Square? More like Timeless Square!
- Lost track of time… must be in Times Square.
- Times Square: Where seconds feel like hours (in a good way!).
- Always a square meal in Times Square.
- Times Square? Nah, it’s Mine Square now.
- Can’t times it by two, already in Times Square!
- Square up your schedule, visit Times Square.
- “What’s the time?” “TIME SQUARE!”
- Times Square: Worth every second.
- Divided my time, conquered Times Square.
- Feeling square? Head to Times Square!
- Times Square: Bright lights, endless nights.
- Don’t square your shoulders, relax in Times Square.
- Times Square: Making memories, one tick at a time.
- Square deal: You visit Times Square, I’ll tag along!
Top Times Square Jokes – Best Picks
- Why did the scarecrow win an award in Times Square? Because he was outstanding in his field!
- I dropped my calculator in Times Square… I panicked, but then it dawned on me.
- Heard they’re installing revolving doors in Times Square. They want Times Square to be a sign of the times.
- I wanted to open a puzzle factory in Times Square, but I couldn’t quite work out the logistics.
- Why don’t they play baseball in Times Square anymore? Too many pop flies hitting the jumbotrons!
- I went to Times Square and asked someone for the time. They said, “It’s always a good time in Times Square!”
- What’s the difference between Times Square on New Year’s Eve and a toddler’s birthday party? One has confetti and countdowns, the other has confetti and meltdowns.
- You know you’ve spent too much time in Times Square when… you start hailing taxis like you’re waving at a friend.
- I wanted to write a song about Times Square, but I couldn’t find the right key. Maybe I should try Times Square minor?
- Times Square is so crowded, even the pigeons are looking for some personal space.
- Why don’t ghosts visit Times Square? Too many flashing lights, they get stage fright!
- What’s a Times Square Elmo’s least favorite subject in school? Times tables!
Funny Times Square One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Times Square Jokes
- Tried to find a bargain at Times Square, but everything was so pricey squared!
- I wanted to relax at Times Square, but I just couldn’t find the thyme.
- Don’t bring a sundial to Times Square, there’s just too many faces.
- I thought I saw the square root of negative one at Times Square, turns out it was just imaginary.
- Times Square is so bright, even the pigeons are wearing sunglasses.
- Went to Times Square to reflect, but I forgot my mirror.
- The only thing more crowded than Times Square on New Year’s Eve is my to-do list.
- Lost my watch in Times Square, what a timely predicament.
- My friend wanted to open a fabric store in Times Square, but I told him it was a tight-knit community.
- Tried to hail a cab in Times Square, but they were all occupied by the Pythagorean Theorem.
- I’m writing a song about Times Square, it’s got a catchy 4/4 beat.
- They say love is blind, but I found my soulmate in Times Square. Must be the bright lights.
- I wanted to play hopscotch in Times Square, but I couldn’t find enough squares.
- I went to Times Square to save time, but everything was open 24/7!
- Never argue with a clock in Times Square, they always have the last second.
Times Square QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Times Square
- Q: Why did the math book avoid Times Square? A: It had too many problems with Times Square.
- Q: What’s the most confusing part about Times Square? A: Trying to figure out if it’s actually a square, because it feels more like a “times” rectangle to me.
- Q: Why don’t they play hide-and-seek in Times Square? A: Good luck trying to find a place to hide in all those “times” crowds!
- Q: Did you hear about the clockmaker who got lost in Times Square? A: He looked up at all the billboards and said, “Well, I guess it’s advertising “times” infinity around here.”
- Q: What do you call a fashion disaster in Times Square? A: A “times” faux pas!
- Q: Why did the tourist bring a calculator to Times Square? A: To calculate all the “times” they’d have to say “excuse me” in the crowd.
- Q: What’s the quickest way to get famous in Times Square? A: Stand still for five seconds – you’ll be on at least ten different “times” cameras!
- Q: Why are pigeons so well-informed in Times Square? A: They get the “times” from all the giant news screens.
- Q: What happens in Times Square, stays in Times Square? A: Mostly because there’s no room in your camera roll for any more photos.
- Q: What do you call a street performer who’s always late to Times Square? A: Off the “times” schedule.
- Q: How do you make a small fortune in Times Square? A: Start with a large fortune and stand on the corner for fifteen “times” minutes.
- Q: What do you call it when a movie about boredom is filmed in Times Square? A: Ironically “times” ironic.
- Q: How do you know you’ve spent too long in Times Square? A: Your internal clock starts flashing bright LED advertisements. It’s officially “times” overload.
Dad Jokes About Times Square: Pun-Filled Quips
- I tried to take a nap in Times Square, but it was way too Time Square-d! 😴
- Went to a math lecture in Times Square once. Turned out it was just Times Square-d! 🤓
- Why don’t they ever have round pizzas in Times Square? Because they’re all Times Square-d! 🍕
- People keep telling me to expand my horizons…so I booked a flight to Times Square! ✈️
- Heard Times Square is the place to be at New Year’s… guess I’ll just go next year then! 🎉
- Heard Times Square is a great place to meet celebrities, but every time I go I just see Times Square-d away! ✨
- Took my watch to Times Square. It had a ball! ⌚
- Times Square is so bright, I gotta wear shades at night… and during the day! 😎
- What’s the most mathematical part of New York City? Times Square-root! 🧮
- I wanted to buy some property in Times Square, but it was way out of my price square! 🤑
- Don’t get into an argument in Times Square… you’ll just go round and round in squares! 🤬
- My friend wanted to open a furniture store in Times Square called “Ottoman’s Empire,” but I told him, “Don’t be ridiculous, it’s already Times Square-d!” 🪑
- I tried hailing a taxi in Times Square once… it just said, “Sorry, I’m already Times Square-d away!” 🚕
- What happens when you combine a clock with Times Square? you get Times Square meters! ⏱️
Times Square Jokes and Puns for Kids
- Why did the little clock get lost in Times Square? Because it was looking for its times-tables!
- What’s the coolest shape in Times Square? A times-square!
- What’s a math teacher’s favorite place in New York City? Times Square, of course!
- Why is Times Square so good at multiplication? Because it knows all the times tables by heart!
- Why don’t they play hide-and-seek in Times Square? Because times up before you can even hide!
- What happens when you stay in Times Square for too long? You get times squared away!
- How do you make a New York pizza disappear? You times-square it!
- Why did the math book go on vacation to Times Square? It heard it was time squared away!
- What did the triangle say to Times Square? “You’re looking sharp!”
- Why did the two numbers get married in Times Square? Because they were perfectly squared for each other!
- What do you call a tired Times Square? Exhausted Times Square!
- Where do math whizzes celebrate New Year’s Eve? Times Square – it’s the most happening place for numbers!
- I wanted to buy a souvenir from Times Square, but it was too expensive. Guess it was just out of my times-zone!
- What’s a pigeon’s favorite spot in Times Square? Any statue, because it’s a great place for times-sharing a snack!
Times Square Jokes and Puns for Elders
- Why did the retired detective avoid Times Square? He’d seen enough “times” squared away there in his day.
- They say love is timeless, but apparently, it’s also quite pricey in Times Square. Especially on Valentine’s Day, when the flower vendors hike up the prices.
- I wanted to see a Broadway show about the history of mathematics, but it flopped. Turns out “Times Square Roots” wasn’t a very catchy title.
- Times Square used to be a lot wilder in my day. Now they just drop a giant LED ball. Back then, we dropped acid.
- What’s the difference between a New Year’s resolution and a pigeon in Times Square? The pigeon probably sticks around longer.
- I went to a jazz club in Times Square that had a strict “no cover charge” policy. It was quite the experience, experiencing a blizzard in my birthday suit.
- Why don’t ghosts like visiting Times Square? Too many bright lights and not enough quiet places for a good haunting.
- Heard they’re renaming Times Square to “Metaverse Plaza.” Not sure how I feel about it. I guess time really is an illusion.
- Times Square: Where the lights are always bright, the crowds never thin, and the wallets always get a little thinner.
- At this point in my life, the only thing dropping in Times Square that excites me is the stock market. And hopefully not too quickly.
- I remember when you could rent a room in Times Square for a song. Now you need a record deal and a platinum album just to afford a coffee.
- They say a picture is worth a thousand words, but a picture of you in Times Square will cost you at least a thousand bucks. Those costumed characters drive a hard bargain.
- Times Square: Where the only thing more constant than the crowds is the feeling that you might be too old for this. Nah, we’re never too old. Just a bit more discerning.
Times Square Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media
- Just got back from Times Square. It was about Times Square-d. (Emphasize “Times Square-d” when sharing online)
- They should rename Times Square to “10 Times Square” because it’s 10 times better at night! 😎
- My trip to Times Square was so crowded, I had to Times Square-eze through people!
- I wanted to propose in Times Square, but I couldn’t afford the Times Square footage. (engagement ring emoji optional)
- You know you’ve been in Times Square too long when… you start speaking in flashing billboards. (thinking face emoji)
- Don’t even try to lie in Times Square… everyone can see right through your Times Square-cret.
- I tried to take a nap in Times Square, but I kept getting interrupted by the Times Square-mphony of sounds.
- What do you call a pigeon that hangs out in Times Square? A Times Square-venger! (bird emoji)
- I was so overwhelmed by Times Square, I completely lost my Times Square-ns of direction.
- Relationship Status: As crowded as Times Square on New Year’s Eve. (single tear emoji)
- I dropped my ice cream cone in Times Square… It was a total Times Square-lamination. (sad face emoji)
- Found a dollar on the ground in Times Square. Guess I’m Times Square-ich now! (money bags emoji)
- My friend wanted to open a library in Times Square. I told him, “Good luck finding any Times Square-et.”
- Just saw a guy walking his dog in Times Square. The dog was wearing a shirt that said “Times Square-bark.” 😂
