104+ Samurai Jokes & Puns: You Shogun Read These!
Sharpen your katanas of laughter and prepare for a seppuku… of jokes! 😂 That’s right, we’re diving headfirst into the world of samurai humor with the best puns and one-liners this side of the Rising Sun. This list of clever jokes and puns about samurai is perfect for kids and adults alike. Get ready for some seriously funny feudal fun! ⚔️😹
Top Samurai Jokes – Best Picks
- Why did the samurai bring a ladder to the sword fight? He heard his opponent was a master of the high blade!
- What’s a samurai’s favorite kind of hair product? Dye-mond Cut!
- Why did the samurai get lost in the forest? He took the wrong shogun!
- A young samurai walks into a tea house and orders a drink. As he’s paying, he accidentally knocks over a cup with his katana. “Don’t worry about it,” says the owner. “It happens.” The samurai bows. “Thank you, but I must insist on paying for a new cup. After all,” he adds with a grin, “it was a grave katana-strophe!”
- Why did the samurai cross the road? To get to the other shogun! (Get it? Like, “other side?”)
- Why was the samurai such a good artist? He knew how to really draw a crowd!
- What’s a samurai’s favorite kind of music? Anything with a strong kendo beat!
- Did you hear about the samurai who opened a bakery? His business really rose to the occasion!
- I tried to explain daylight saving time to a samurai, but he just wouldn’t budge. He was set in his ways!
- Why did the samurai bring a dictionary to his duel? He wanted to make sure he used the right words to cut his opponent down!
- What do you call a samurai who’s really bad at fighting? A dis-honor-able mention!
- What’s a samurai’s favorite cheese? Cheddar! (Because they cheddar their swords!)
- Why did the samurai fail his driving test? He kept turning into a warrior way!
Clever Samurai Puns – Best Picks
- What’s a samurai’s favorite kind of sushi? Raw-men.
- I tried to become friends with a samurai… but he told me to katana touch him.
- Why did the samurai cross the playground? To get to the other slide… of his katana.
- What does a samurai wear on casual Friday? Whatever he wants to! He has no gi to answer to.
- You know you’ve met a confident samurai when… He introduces himself as “Soon-to-be Shogun.”
- Why are samurai such good gardeners? They’re masters at bushido.
- What’s the worst thing about fighting a samurai with a cold? He brings out his pocket tissue.
- Why don’t samurai like fast food? Because they prefer their meals seppuku-ed slowly.
- Never ask a samurai about his childhood… It’s usually a sorey subject.
- What’s the most terrifying weapon in a vegetarian samurai’s arsenal? The carrot-ana.
- I once knew a samurai who was also a great chef… He could make a mean California roll.
- Samurai always bring their swords to the beach… Just in case of a shore-gun.
- What’s a samurai’s favorite type of music? Anything but heavy metal – because it’s too saké.
- I tried writing a song about samurai… It had a great tempo, but it was lacking a good shogun.
Funny Samurai One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Samurai Jokes
- I tried to become a samurai, but I didn’t make the cut.
- A samurai walks into a bar with a frog on his head. The bartender says, “Hey, what’s with the frog?” The frog replies, “Just passing through. Got any krill?”
- Why did the samurai cross the road? To get to the other shogun.
- My friend said he wanted to live like a samurai. I told him it was a terrible idea… he’d be living on like ten bucks a year!
- What’s a samurai’s favorite type of ice cream? Matcha-do about nothing!
- I’m starting a samurai-themed boy band. We’re going to be called the Ronin’ Stones.
- I saw a samurai with a fake sword the other day. I thought to myself, “That’s a real weapon of mass deception.”
- Why did the samurai get lost? He took a wrong shogun.
- Life is like being a samurai. It’s all about finding your inner piece.
- A samurai walks into a sushi restaurant and orders the “warrior platter.” The waiter asks, “Would you like that for seppuku?”
- You know, being a medieval Japanese warrior is a tough gig. You work for a feudal lord for like, rice and boarded up housing.
- I met a samurai who could talk to ghosts. Turns out, he was a medium, rare breed.
- My friend tried to make ramen noodles with his katana. I told him, “You’re not supposed to use the blade, you’re supposed to use the broth!”
- Why don’t they let samurais play pool? They always scratch the felt with their katanas!
Samurai QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Samurai
- Q: Why did the samurai cross the road? A: To engage in a duel… or maybe just to get to the sake bar on the other side.
- Q: What’s a samurai warrior’s favorite type of hair gel? A: Weaponized hairspray, for that extra hold in battle.
- Q: Why don’t samurais like playing cards in the forest? A: Too many cheetahs lurking about! (Sheathe their swords)
- Q: What do you call a samurai warrior who’s always late? A: A delay of the samurai.
- Q: Why was the samurai warrior feeling emotional? A: He was having a katana crisis!
- Q: What do you call a samurai warrior who moonlights as a chef? A: A sashimi-rai!
- Q: What’s the most honorable way for a samurai to apologize? A: With a bow and arrow.
- Q: Why did the samurai warrior bring a ladder to the sword fight? A: He heard his opponent was a master swordsman.
- Q: Did you hear about the samurai warrior who was a terrible singer? A: His voice was like a broken katana… sharp and painful!
- Q: Why are samurai warriors such skilled gardeners? A: They’re experts at weeding out their enemies!
- Q: Where do samurais go to learn how to fight evil spirits? A: To ghoul school!
- Q: What do you call a group of samurais who love to sing? A: A sword chorus!
- Q: What did the sushi chef say to the samurai? A: “May your sashimi be sharp and your enemies be rolled over!”
- Q: How do you fix a broken samurai sword? A: With a little katana glue!
Dad Jokes About Samurai: Pun-Filled Quips
- I told my son about the samurai who fought bears. He said, “He must have been grizzly scared!” I replied, “No, he was armed to the teeth!”
- My wife asked me to name our new pet fish after a famous samurai. I chose “Finito Musashi.”
- Why did the samurai cross the road? To get to the other shogun!
- What’s a samurai’s favorite dance move? The Katana Whip!
- I started a landscaping business with a samurai. It’s called “Mowing Down the Competition.”
- I saw a samurai band last night. They were metal!
- A samurai walked into a bar and ordered sake. The bartender asked, “Will you need a chaser?” The samurai replied, “No, I’m after someone!”
- My wife got mad because I left my samurai sword collection in the living room. I told her, “Relax, it’s just a phase I’m going through.”
- What do you call a samurai who sells flowers? A bud-o-kai!
- What’s the difference between a samurai and a pizza? A samurai can’t be ordered online!
- Did you hear about the samurai who opened a bakery? His specialty is katana rolls!
- I tried to make ramen for a samurai, but I messed up the broth. He wasn’t angry, just dis-udon-ted.
- Why did the samurai fail his art exam? He couldn’t draw a straight line to save his life!
- You know, I used to be a samurai chef. I had to quit, the steaks were too high!
Samurai Jokes and Puns for Kids
- Why did the samurai cross the playground? To get to the other slide! ⚔️
- What do you call a funny samurai? A cut-up! 😂
- What’s a samurai’s favorite fish? Swordfish! 🐠
- What’s a samurai’s favorite kind of music? Anything with a strong beat! 🥁
- Knock, knock! >Who’s there? >Sam. > Sam who? > Sam-urai, open up, it’s cold out here! 🥶
- My friend said he wanted to be a samurai when he grows up, but I think he’s got bigger fish to fry. 😉
- What do you call a lazy samurai’s sword? A procrast- katana! 😴
- Why did the samurai bring a ladder to the duel? He heard his opponent was a master swordsman and he wanted to take him down a peg! 🪜
- Never challenge a samurai in a staring contest. They have the stare down pat! 👀
- What do you call a group of samurais who sing together? A sword choir! 🎶
- My friend told me he learned to fight with a samurai. Turns out, he just watched a guy play Fruit Ninja on his phone! 🕹️
- What’s a samurai’s favorite type of tree? A katana-tree! 🌳
- Why are samurais so good at hide and seek? They’re master hiders! 🤫
- What’s a samurai’s favorite school subject? History – they love learning about the past! 📚
- Where do samurais park their horses? In the neigh-borhood! 🐴
Samurai Jokes and Puns for Elders
- Why did the elder samurai refuse to meditate? He said, “It’s just not my cup of tea-kwondo.”
- You know you’re an old samurai when… you can’t tell the difference between your katana and your cane.
- My friend said his samurai ancestors visit him in his dreams. Sounds like a nightmare on Elm Street…of Edo.
- What’s a samurai’s favorite type of garden? One with zen and herbs.
- A younger samurai bragged about his swordsmanship to an elder. The elder said, “Boy, I’ve got scars older than your katana.”
- I tried to have a philosophical debate with a retired samurai. Turns out, he was only interested in the point of my argument.
- The aging samurai struggled to remember his past victories. His memory was getting a little… hazy.
- They say with age comes wisdom. But all this old samurai learned was how to complain about his aching joints.
- My grandpa the retired samurai tried online dating. He said, “Looking for someone to share my evening sake with… and maybe defeat a warlord or two.”
- Why did the retired samurai become a gardener? He heard you could make a killing in bonsai.
- What’s the difference between a young samurai and an old samurai? An old samurai can defeat an enemy with just his words…and his really good hearing aid.
- Retirement is tough for a samurai. All you can do is reminisce about the good old days… and polish your dentures with the tears of your enemies.
- What do you call a lazy samurai’s housecat? A ronin-around-the-house cat.
- Why was the elderly samurai such a hit with the ladies? He was a master of the “sword,” if you know what I mean… wink wink.
- Never argue with an old samurai. They’ve had centuries to perfect their death glares.
Samurai Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media
- Why did the samurai cross the road? To get to the other said! (ba dum tss)
- My life is like a samurai sword: Honed by discipline, but always on the edge.
- Just tried to make ramen in my new samurai armor… Turns out it’s im-pasta-ble to cook in this thing.
- “You seem stressed,” said the samurai to his apprentice. “Try meditating on this.” He handed him a katana.
- BREAKING NEWS: Local samurai can’t tell the difference between his enemies and allies. Doctors confirm he has prosopag-no-ya.
- Why are samurai such good gardeners? They know how to weed out the weaklings.
- My friend keeps calling his cat a “samurai.” He says it’s very in-de-pendant.
- Tried to learn Japanese to impress a samurai… Turns out it’s all Greek to meiji.
- What’s a samurai’s favorite soda? Sprite! Because they always choose the right. (Get it? Sprite? Right?)
- Life as a samurai is tough, but someone’s gotta do it.
- You know you’ve been watching too much anime when… You start giving your friends life advice using samurai proverbs.
- What’s a samurai’s favorite type of footwear? Flip-flops… Just kidding, they wear geta!
- Me: I think I could take on a samurai in a fight. My friend: Yeah, and I’m the Shogun.
- “Hold on,” said the samurai, pulling out his phone. “Let me katana picture of this.”
- Why don’t samurais use GPS? Because they always know the wae. (Bonus points if you get the reference!)
Samurai Much Fun, Gotta Split! ⚔️😂
And with that final slice of humor, we sheath our swords of laughter! We hope these 104+ Samurai jokes and puns brought a smile to your face wider than a shogun’s war fan. But the battle against boredom doesn’t end here! Explore our website for more hilarious puns and jokes, guaranteed to tickle your funny bone harder than a tickle fight with ninjas.
