91+ Presidential Puns & Jokes: Commander-in-Hilarity!
Alright, history buffs and joke enthusiasts, gather ’round! 🇺🇸 It’s Presidents Day, and you know what that means? Time to unleash the funniest, most clever puns and jokes about our commanders-in-chief! 🥳 This isn’t your average history lesson, folks. Get ready for a presidential-sized list of humor that’s perfect for kids and adults alike. 😂 Get those laughing muscles ready because this is going to be one “punny” Presidents Day! 😉
Top Presidents Day Jokes – Best Picks
- Why did George Washington have trouble sleeping? He couldn’t lie! 🛏️
- What did the hat say to Abraham Lincoln? “Abe, you’ve got a lot on your mind!” 🎩
- How do you get invited to a party with past presidents? You have to be Biden your time! 🎉
- What do you call a lazy kangaroo? Pouch potato. What do you call a lazy president? A commander-in-couch! 🛋️
- Why did Thomas Jefferson write the Declaration of Independence on parchment? He got tired of deleting his rough drafts! 📝
- I saw a sign that said “Free Speech Under Construction.” I thought, “Isn’t that just typical Washington?”🚧
- Why was George Washington buried at Mount Vernon? Because he couldn’t afford a Washington D.C. burial! 🪦
- What’s the difference between a pizza and President Taft? A pizza can feed a family of four. 🍕 (Look up President Taft’s size!)
- Why did all the presidents go to the bank? To get their Washingtons! 💰
- What’s the most patriotic breakfast cereal? Chex and Balance! 🥣
- What did one president say to the other during the debate? “We’re really Biden for this job!” 🎤
- My friend said he wanted to spend Presidents Day learning about Teddy Roosevelt. I said, “That sounds like a Teddy-riffic idea!” 🐻
- What’s the only cure for a bad case of Presidential Fever? Elec-TURN-al college! 🤒
- Why did the Founding Fathers write the Constitution on hemp paper? They wanted to make sure it had a good preamble! 📜
Clever Presidents Day Puns – Best Picks
- “Presi-don’t you just love a day off?” (Playful, casual tone)
- “I’m feeling very ‘presi-dent-ious’ about this long weekend!” (Wordplay on “presidential” and “prescient”)
- “Happy Presidents Day! Time to ‘address’ these sales!” (Double meaning using “address” as in a speech and shopping)
- “This Presidents Day, let’s all ‘Lincoln’ together and celebrate!” (Play on “Lincoln” and “link” for unity)
- “This Presidents Day sale is so good, it’s almost ‘un-presi-dented’!” (Wordplay on “unprecedented” and “president”)
- “I’m so relaxed, I feel like I could give a ‘state of my hammock’ address.” (Playful twist on “State of the Union” address)
- “My bank account after Presidents Day sales is looking a little… ‘Washington-thin’.” (Play on “Washington” and “thin” for humor about spending)
- “Why was the history museum so popular on Presidents Day? They had a ‘two-term’ deal on tickets!” (Wordplay on “two-term” for presidents and a sale)
- “Having a ‘presidential’ time this Presidents Day – mostly sleeping!” (Humorous, relatable take on relaxing)
- “My to-do list for Presidents Day? ‘Mount Rush’-nothing!” (Play on “Mount Rushmore” and doing nothing for humor)
- “I wanted to write a song about Presidents Day, but all the good ‘Washing-tunes’ were taken!” (Wordplay on “Washington” and “tunes” for music pun)
- “This furniture sale is so tempting, I’m feeling very ‘upholstery-otic’ this Presidents Day!” (Play on “patriotic” and “upholstery” for shopping humor)
- “What did the history buff say on February 20th? ‘Finally, it’s ‘Presi-dents’ happen!'” (Spoonerism combining “Presidents” and “it’s meant to”)
- “I was going to go for a run today, but I’m feeling very ‘Presi-dentary’. As in, ‘stay in my pajamas’ kind of sedentary!” (Combining “President” and “sedentary” for a lazy humor)
Funny Presidents Day One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Presidents Day Jokes
- I wanted to visit the Presidents on Presidents Day, but the line at Mount Rushmore was insane.
- My friend said Presidents Day is just an excuse for a mattress sale. I told him that’s a bit harsh, but he’s got a point. 😏
- Someone told me Presidents Day is the most divided holiday in America. Turns out, they meant Lincoln and Washington always argue over the thermostat. 😂
- My dog chewed up all my important historical documents. I guess you could say he took Presidents Day a little too literally. 😩
- Never ask a president for cooking advice. They’ll always tell you to wing it. 😉
- What do you call it when all the presidents get together for a barbecue? A cabinet meeting. 😎
- I told my kids if they’re good this Presidents Day, they’ll get a new Lincoln…Log, that is. We just started building their playhouse. 😄
- I really wanted to buy myself something nice for Presidents Day, but my bank account reminded me it was Washington’s birthday, not Washing-MY-debts day. 😔
- Why did the president bring a ladder to work? He wanted to check out the Oval Office from a different perspective. 🤔
- What do you call a group of tired presidents? A Nap-ublican party. 😴
- I usually forget about Presidents Day, but then Abraham Lincoln came to me in a dream and said, “Don’t you forget about me!” 😳
Presidents Day QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Presidents Day
- Q: What do you call a mischievous Abraham Lincoln impersonator? A: An Honest-Abe prankster!
- Q: Why did George Washington always carry a ruler? A: To make sure he didn’t tell any lies!
- Q: How do presidents relax after a long day of making executive decisions? A: They kick back in their Oval Office chairs, of course!
- Q: What’s a president’s favorite type of music? A: Anything with a good executive beat!
- Q: Why did the history book get sent to the principal’s office on Presidents Day? A: For making too many executive decisions about which facts to include!
- Q: What do you get if you cross a president and a gardener? A: A leader who’s always trying to grow the economy!
- Q: What’s the biggest problem with having a party at the White House? A: You can never find a parking spot!
- Q: Why did Thomas Jefferson refuse to wear a wig? A: He said it was a hair-raising experience for the nation!
- Q: What’s on the menu for Presidents Day? A: Lincoln Logs and Washington Apples!
- Q: What’s a ghost president’s favorite music? A: Soul music!
- Q: Where did George Washington keep his armies? A: In his sleevies!
- Q: What do you call it when a president works from home? A: A Cabinet meeting!
- Q: Why was Abraham Lincoln so good at debating? A: He always had a good point!
- Q: What kind of tea did they serve at the Boston Tea Party… really? A: Presi-don’t even ask! 😉
Dad Jokes About Presidents Day: Pun-Filled Quips
- Why don’t they have fireworks on Presidents’ Day? Because it would be too hard to see the Washing-ton Monument through the smoke!
- I wanted to visit Mount Rushmore on Presidents’ Day… But the tickets were selling like mad-ison!
- What did the parent say to their kid who aced their history test about Presidents’ Day? “Lincoln, you’ve outdone yourself!”
- My wife told me to take the Lincoln out for Presidents’ Day. So, I grabbed my penny and went for a drive.
- You know, I met a guy who looks just like Abraham Lincoln today. I guess you could say I had an Abe-solutely amazing Presidents’ Day!
- I tried to make a cake shaped like George Washington for Presidents’ Day… But it crumbled under the pressure.
- What’s a president’s favorite type of music? Anything they can face the music to!
- This year for Presidents’ Day, I’m dressing up as my favorite president. Don’t worry, I’m keeping it under wraps for now – it’s a surprise!
- Did you hear about the president who was a terrible bowler? He always ended up in the gutter.
- What does the Oval Office smell like on Presidents’ Day? I don’t know, but it’s definitely got that air of importance!
- My kid asked me if Presidents’ Day was when all the presidents come back to life. I said, “Don’t be silly, son! That’s Franken-stein’s job!”
- I told my kid Presidents’ Day is about George Washing-ton. He looked confused and asked, “What about the drying?”
- Did you hear about the president who was a really good electrician? He could conduct himself in any situation.
- Why did the Founding Fathers write on parchment? To give future presidents something to sign their John Hancock on!
Presidents Day Jokes and Puns for Kids
- Q: What do you call it when a president takes a nap? A: A Washing-TONight sleep! 😴
- Q: Why did the president bring a ladder to work? A: He wanted to check on the Washing-TON! 🪜
- Q: What’s a president’s favorite dessert? A: Cherry PIE-rce! 🍒
- Q: Why did President Lincoln get a job at the library? A: He was great at delivering addresses! 📚
- Q: What kind of music did President Taft listen to? A: Anything but heavy metal – he couldn’t stand the weight! 🎶
- Presidents Day is a lot like a coin… …because it has two sides! 🪙
- Q: Why was George Washington always tired by February? A: He had to chop down so many cherry trees for Presidents Day! 🌳
- My teacher asked me who was on Mount Rushmore, but I forgot… …so I just said, “Rushmore’s four presidents!” ⛰️
- Q: What did the history book say to the Presidents Day quiz? A: “I’ve got you covered!” 📖
- Never start a conversation with Mount Rushmore… … those presidents will talk your ear off! 😉
- I wanted to buy a life-size statue of Abraham Lincoln for Presidents Day… …but it cost a Lincoln fortune! 💰
- Q: Did you hear about the grumpy president? A: He woke up on the wrong side of the Washing-TON! 😠
- My friend said he didn’t want to learn about the past presidents… …I told him, “Don’t worry, they’re history!” 😎
- Q: Why is it so much fun to learn about presidents? A: Because they had such interesting cabinet meetings! 😄
Presidents Day Jokes and Puns for Elders
- Why did George Washington have trouble sleeping? He couldn’t lie in a bunk bed!
- You know, being President isn’t that different from being elderly. Everyone’s always asking you about things that happened ages ago.
- I told my grandkids I remember when they celebrated Presidents’ Day just for Lincoln and Washington. They said, “That’s cool, Grandpa! You should write a book about the olden days!”
- My doctor told me to cut back on the sodium this Presidents’ Day. Guess I won’t be having any salted peanuts with Honest Abe this year.
- Ever notice how they never have any good Presidents’ Day sales anymore? Back in my day, you could get a new stovepipe hat for a nickel!
- I asked my grandson who his favorite president was, and he said, “Grover Cleveland.” I said, “The Second?” He said, “No, the First. Duh!” Kids these days.
- Politics were so much simpler in the good old days. You only had to remember two birthdays for Presidents’ Day!
- My wife asked me what I wanted to do for Presidents’ Day. I said, “Honestly, I’d rather just stay in my pajamas.”
- You know you’re getting old when you remember when Mount Rushmore was just a cliff. And they said those presidents wouldn’t amount to anything!
- My grandpa told me back in his day, they didn’t need a three-day weekend for Presidents’ Day. They just called it “Monday.”
- I bought a new mattress for Presidents’ Day… It’s got that firm, executive feel.
- They say history repeats itself. At this point, I’m half-expecting a new Washington and Lincoln to show up any day now.
- What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato… almost as inactive as Congress on Presidents’ Day!
- Remember, folks, Presidents’ Day is about honoring all U.S. presidents. Even the ones whose faces we haven’t gotten around to carving into mountains yet.
Presidents Day Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media
- My friend told me he wanted to be president someday. I told him, “Don’t worry, I’m sure they’ll be another Presidents Day.” 😏
- What did George Washington say to his dentist? “I can’t lie, it’s Presidents Day!” 🦷😂
- I’m not saying I’m lazy, but Presidents Day is the only holiday I can celebrate lying down. 😴🤣
- Just saw a sign that said “Presidents Day Sale – All Bills 10% off!” I guess even politicians love a good bargain. 💸😂
- My bank really knows how to celebrate Presidents Day… they gave me a loan with an interest rate so high, it’s unconstitutional! 🏦😩
- What did the history book say to the calendar on Presidents Day? “Wow, look at you, all booked up!” 🗓️😂
- This Presidents Day, I’m giving a shout-out to all the Founding Fathers who made it possible for me to complain about the government on the internet. 🙏💻
- My ideal Presidents Day: No politics, just pizza, and maybe a three-day weekend thrown in for good measure. 🍕😴
- Whoever decided to make Presidents Day in February clearly never experienced a polar vortex. 🥶
- Presidents Day: The one day a year where everyone pretends to know what the Electoral College is. 🤔😂
- I’m so broke, the only president I can afford to celebrate today is Grover Cleveland. 🥺 (Get it? Because he’s on the $1000 bill!)
- My wife asked me what I wanted to do for Presidents Day. I said, “Honestly, babe, whatever Lincoln wants to do.” 💀 (Happy wife, happy life, right?)
- You know you’re an adult when you get more excited about the Presidents Day furniture sales than the actual holiday. 🛋️🤑
- Roses are red, Violets are blue, Happy Presidents Day, From me and my crew! 🇺🇸 (Okay, this one’s cheesy, but you can’t go wrong with a classic!)
Time to Lincoln these jokes up!
We hope these presidential puns didn’t leave you feeling impeached! If you’re still hungry for more laughter, be sure to check out the rest of our punny website. We’ve got jokes for every occasion, from Election Day to Taco Tuesday. You’d be barking mad to miss out!
