106+ Guinea Pig Jokes & Puns: Wheek-ing Funny!
🐹 Get ready to squeal with laughter! 😂 This post is packed with the best guinea pig jokes and puns that are sure to tickle your funny bone. Whether you’re a kid or just young at heart, this list of clever quips and hilarious humor is sure to entertain. Get ready for some whey-ly funny puns and jokes about our furry little friends – because who can resist a good laugh? 😄
Top Guinea Pig Jokes – Best Picks
- Why did the guinea pig get sent to his room? > He kept throwing his wheekies!
- What do you call a guinea pig that’s always winning? > A champ-ignon!
- What’s a guinea pig’s favorite type of music? > Anything with a good beet!
- My guinea pig is learning a new language. > He’s already fluent in Pig Latin!
- What happens when two guinea pigs fall in love? > It’s guinea be a beautiful thing!
- I took my guinea pig to the vet the other day… > …he said he was guinea be just fine!
- Why don’t they play poker in the jungle? > Too many cheetahs… and a guinea pig for a dealer!
- You know your guinea pig trusts you when… > …they eat out of your hand. Literally.
- What do you call a guinea pig who loves to sing in the rain? > A shower squealer!
- What’s a guinea pig’s favorite cereal? > Cheerioats!
- What did the guinea pig say to the carrot? > “It’s been nice gnawing you!”
- My guinea pig escaped! > Luckily, he didn’t get fur before I caught him!
- Why did the guinea pig cross the playground? > To get to the other slide!
- Don’t tell secrets in front of a guinea pig… > They’re always squeakin’ around!
Clever Guinea Pig Puns – Top Picks
- What do you call a guinea pig with a constantly spinning toy? A whir-y pet!
- My guinea pig escaped his cage today, but don’t worry, I’ve got him under hay-rest.
- My guinea pig is a bit of a hoarder. He’s always squirreling away his favorite treats. Guess you could say he’s guinea a little help.
- Why did the guinea pig cross the road? To prove he wasn’t chicken! (Or maybe just to get to the other side where the parsley was.)
- Life as a guinea pig owner is tough. You have to deal with all the wheeks and boos.
- My guinea pig is quite the artist. He loves to draw attention!
- Never tell secrets to a guinea pig. They are notorious squealers!
- I took my guinea pig to the vet, and the vet said he was healthy as a horse! …Well, a very small and fuzzy horse.
- My guinea pig is so fluffy and cute, he’s practically im-paws-ible to resist!
- What’s a guinea pig’s favorite dance move? The hay-hustle!
- My guinea pig claims he wants to be a veterinarian, but I think he’s just guinea-tting me on.
- You could say my guinea pig is a little high maintenance… he only drinks Fiji water. What can I say? He’s got expensive tastes.
- I got my guinea pig a tiny treadmill. It’s his pig-a-lator!
- My guinea pig is quite the romantic. He wrote me a poem that started with “Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m so glad I’m snuffling with you!”
Funny Guinea Pig One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Guinea Pig Jokes
- My guinea pig is a minimalist – he only needs the bare necessi-wheeks.
- I took my guinea pig to the vet for a check-up, turns out he’s cavy as a cucumber.
- Life as a guinea pig owner is always an adventure, it’s wheek in, wheek out.
- My guinea pig’s been practicing his stand-up routine – he’s got some real hay-larious material.
- Asked my guinea pig for his opinion on my outfit, he said, “Lookin’ sharp, for a human bean!”
- My guinea pig escaped his cage! I guess you could say he pulled the wool right over my eyes.
- I think my guinea pig is secretly a foodie – he gets “guinea-piggy” over fresh parsley.
- Just taught my guinea pig to say “No way, Jose!” He’s now fluent in guinea pig Latin.
- My guinea pig is a great listener, he’s all ears… all four of them.
- Started a band with my guinea pig – we’re called “The Squeakers” and we’re quite the squeak-sensation!
- My guinea pig is a health nut – he only drinks organic carrot juice. He’s a real juice-pig.
- My guinea pig tried to join the orchestra, but they told him he was too piccolo.
- Never play hide and seek with a guinea pig. They’re master hiders! Seriously, they’re unbeata-bull.
- Guinea pigs: living proof that even when life throws you veggies, you can still be happy.
- My guinea pig is so spoiled, he has his own personal hay bale. Talk about living the high life!
Guinea Pig QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Guinea Pig
- Q: Why did the guinea pig cross the playground? A: To get to the other slide!
- Q: What do you call a guinea pig that’s always getting into trouble? A: A wheek-stakes taker!
- Q: What’s a guinea pig’s favorite type of music? A: Anything with a good beet!
- Q: Why did the guinea pig get sent to the principal’s office? A: For haywire behavior!
- Q: What do you call a group of guinea pigs singing together? A: A squeakphony!
- Q: Why don’t guinea pigs like scary movies? A: They get too hay-rified!
- Q: How do you make a guinea pig smoothie? A: Just guinea blend it!
- Q: What do you call a guinea pig with a fashion blog? A: A trendsetter! (pronounced “trencheater”)
- Q: What’s a guinea pig’s favorite game to play in the car? A: Haylp, I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!
- Q: Why did the guinea pig get a job at the bank? A: He was good with coin-cidence (coins + hay-cidence)!
- Q: What do you call a guinea pig that’s always winning races? A: A wheekend warrior!
- Q: How do you get a guinea pig to smile for a photo? A: Say “haycheese!”
- Q: What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A: A pouch potato … or a guinea pig!
- Q: Why don’t they play poker in the jungle? A: Too many cheetahs… and one very lucky guinea pig!
- Q: What’s black and white, black and white, black and white, and orange? A: Two guinea pigs rolling down a hill… one of them is wearing an orange hat!
Dad Jokes About Guinea Pig: Pun-Filled Quips
- I tried to explain to my guinea pig that he couldn’t join the orchestra… Turns out, he didn’t make the cut. He was told he was guinea-incompetent on the oboe.
- Took my guinea pig to the vet the other day. Turns out… he’s got a guinea-pig-sty on his toe.
- Ever tried to have a staring contest with a guinea pig? You’re guinea-lose every time. They’re pros at staring into nothingness.
- My son asked me if guinea pigs actually come from Guinea… I told him, “Guinea-be kidding me! Of course not!”
- I bought my guinea pig a tiny treadmill, but it just sits there staring at it… I guess you could say he’s guinea-piggy-backing off my exercise routine.
- My guinea pig won first prize in the pet show! I guess you could say it was a guinea-pig-ture perfect day.
- What do you call a guinea pig that’s always getting into mischief? A guinea-pig-headed little rascal.
- Why did the guinea pig cross the road? To get to the other tide! (Get it? “Guinea-pig-tide”)
- My guinea pig is a huge fan of escape artists… He’s always trying to Guinea-pull-a-Houdini on me.
- What do you call a guinea pig that loves to sing? A guinea-pig-alody maker!
- My guinea pig is starting to think he’s a parrot… He keeps trying to guinea-copy everything I say!
- My wife wanted to name the guinea pig “Spot,” but I put my foot down. “What if he doesn’t get any spots?” I said. “Then we’d have a guinea-pig-liar on our hands!”
- Never play hide-and-seek with a guinea pig… They’re guinea-pig-ceptionally good at hiding!
- My guinea pig ate all the parsley in the garden! I was furious at first, but then I realized, he’s just a little guinea-pig-ture of destruction.
Guinea Pig Jokes and Puns for Kids
- Why did the guinea pig get sent to his room? Because he kept saying “wheek-end!” over and over!
- What do you get if you cross a guinea pig and a skunk? I don’t know, but it probably doesn’t smell very good!
- What’s a guinea pig’s favorite game? Hide-and-seek… they’re really good at the hiding part!
- What kind of music do guinea pigs listen to? Anything cage-y!
- My guinea pig is a picky eater! He only likes things that are guinea-licious!
- Why didn’t the guinea pig do well in school? He kept getting lost on field trips… because he’s a guinea pig!
- What do you call a guinea pig who’s always in trouble? A little wheek-ed!
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Guinea. Guinea who? Guinea a minute? I have to tie my shoe!
- Why don’t they play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs… and one guinea pig always squeals!
- Where do guinea pigs park their cars? In the parking gar-squeak-age!
- Why did the guinea pig cross the playground? To get to the other slide!
- My dad got a guinea pig for my brother. That’s just wrong… they should have gotten him a real present!
- What did the ocean say to the guinea pig? Nothing, it just waved!
- How do you make a guinea pig float? With root beer and ice cream… you make a root beer float!
- Why did the guinea pig get a job at the bank? Because he was good with his piggy bank!
Guinea Pig Jokes and Puns for Elders
- Why did the guinea pig join the retirement home’s drama club? He heard they were looking for a seasoned ham! (Plays on the dual meaning of “ham” as both a meat and a bad actor)
- A guinea pig walks into a doctor’s office and says, “Doc, I think I’m shrinking!” The doctor replies calmly, “Don’t worry, you’re just a little guinea pig.” (Plays on the idiom “guinea pig” meaning a test subject)
- You know you’re getting old when the highlight of your week is cleaning your guinea pig’s cage. It’s like a tiny condo makeover! (Relatable humor about aging and simple pleasures)
- I’ve trained my guinea pig to fetch the TV remote. Now if only I could train him to understand what channels I like… (Humor about the realities of training pets and getting older)
- My financial advisor told me to diversify my portfolio. So I bought a second guinea pig. Now I’m financially squealed. (Play on words with “squealed” as in telling a secret and a sound a guinea pig makes)
- My friend asked why I keep talking to my guinea pig like he understands me. I said, “He’s a better listener than most people I know.” (Dry humor about aging and relationships)
- Retirement is great: you can sleep in, take it easy, and focus on your hobbies. My guinea pig however, seems to think it’s playtime at 3 am. (Humor about the realities of pet ownership, even in retirement)
- My doctor said I need to reduce stress in my life. I told him, “Easy for you to say, you don’t have to listen to my guinea pig wheek for carrots all day!” (Exaggerated humor about the quirks of pet ownership)
- I bought a self-cleaning guinea pig cage. Turns out it was just a regular cage with a very optimistic advertisement. (Satirical humor about marketing and consumerism)
- I used to have a guinea pig who was a champion hide-and-seek player. Sadly, he passed away last year. I still haven’t found him. (Dark humor with a playful twist)
- My guinea pig is picky about his greens. He’s like a tiny, furry food critic. I should start a blog: “Two Stars and a Wheek.” (Play on words with restaurant reviews and guinea pig sounds)
- I thought I’d save money by growing my own vegetables for my guinea pig. Turns out, he prefers the organic, pre-washed, conveniently packaged kind. Spoiled much? (Humor about the challenges and joys of pet ownership)
- You know you’re a senior when you start telling your guinea pig your life story… and they actually seem interested. (Heartwarming humor about aging and companionship)
Guinea Pig Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media
- Just saw a guinea pig using a tiny treadmill. I guess you could say he’s…wheek-ing out. 🐹🏃♂️💨
- My guinea pig is a huge diva. He expects to be served only the freshest…parsley-nips. 🥬👑
- Tried to have a philosophical conversation with my guinea pig. Turns out he’s only interested in the hay-day aspects of life. 🤔🌾
- What do you get when you cross a guinea pig and a shark? I don’t know, but you’d better bring a cage-tastic amount of food! 🦈🐹
- My friend asked me to describe my guinea pig in five words. Easy: Small and fluffy, eats like a horse. 🐴
- What do you call a guinea pig that escapes its cage? A little fugitive on the run-way! 🐹💨
- My guinea pig is so spoiled, he has his own personal chef. He’s a real…chip off the old block! 🧀
- What’s a guinea pig’s favorite music to listen to? Hay-metal, of course! 🎸🤘
- Ever tried to give a guinea pig a bath? It’s pure chaos. They really squirm when you hit their “wheek” spot! 🛁🧼
- Just bought my guinea pig a tiny treadmill. He’s not a fan… says it costs a “leg and a paw” to run on it! 💸🐹
- My guinea pig is a huge foodie. He loves trying new restaurants. He’s a real…guinea “pig”-ture of fine dining! 🍽️📸
- You know you’re obsessed with guinea pigs when you start saying “wheek” in your sleep. 😴🐹
- What’s a guinea pig’s favorite Shakespeare play? Hamlet – “To squeak or not to squeak, that is the question!” 🎭
- My guinea pig is the cutest little escape artist. I swear, he’s always plotting his next great hay-st! 🗝️🌾🏃♂️💨
That’s All, Folks! Wheek Out These Guinea Pig Jokes!
We’ve guinea tell you, these guinea pig jokes are just the tip of the iceberg! Don’t be a boar, explore the rest of our punny website for more hilarious jokes that will have you squealing with laughter.
