96+ Uterus Jokes & Puns: You’ve Gotta Be Wombing Me!
Get ready to laugh your ovaries off because we’ve got the best uterus jokes this side of the fallopian tubes! π This ain’t your mama’s list of jokes – we’ve got clever puns and funny one-liners that are sure to tickle your funny bone, but don’t worry, they’re still for kids at heart (well, mostly π). So, buckle up and prepare for some serious uterine humor, because these puns are about to get real…wait for it…womb-tastic! π€°
Top Uterus Jokes – Best Picks
- I’m not sure what my uterus is thinking, but it’s definitely up to something.
- My uterus is like a tiny apartment building. It’s always got someone new moving in.
- I asked my doctor if my uterus was getting enough exercise. He said, “It’s doing somersaults every month!”
- My uterus is like a moody teenager. It’s happy one minute and cramping the next.
- I’m not saying my uterus is bossy, but it definitely runs the show.
- I tried to explain the menstrual cycle to my dog. He just looked at me with a blank stare.
- My uterus is like a magician. It makes things disappear every month!
- I’m not sure what’s more unpredictable, the weather or my uterus.
- My uterus is like a tiny oven. It’s always baking something up.
- I told my friend I was having cramps. She said, “Welcome to womanhood!”
- My uterus is like a drama queen. It loves to make a big scene.
- I’m not saying I’m in tune with my body, but I can always tell when my uterus is about to throw a party.
- My uterus is like a comedian. It always has a new joke to tell.
- I’m not sure what my uterus is complaining about. It gets a month-long vacation every year!
- My uterus is like a GPS. It always knows where to go.

Clever Uterus Puns – Best Picks
- “Ovary”-achiever: That’s what my uterus is after a successful pregnancy.
- Having a baby? Now that’s a “womb”-derful experience!
- My uterus is “fallopian” in love with the idea of having a baby.
- Don’t “uterus”-ly underestimate the power of the female body.
- I’m “cervix”-ly excited about these puns!
- My uterus is always “up to something.”
- “Endo”-ing this pun session with a bang! (referencing endometriosis)
- “Womb”-man: The strongest creature on Earth.
- My uterus is “hysterical”-ly funny!
- “Fallopian” tubes: Nature’s waterslide. (Okay, maybe not)
- I’m “ovulating” with joy at these puns!
- My uterus is the “center” of my universe.
- “Period”-ically, my uterus likes to remind me it’s in charge.
- Let’s give a big “round of applause” for the uterus!
- “Womb”-mates forever! (referencing the bond between mother and child)
Funny Uterus One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Uterus Jokes
- My uterus is like a nightclub: There’s always something happening, but I don’t always want to be on the guest list.
- My uterus is like a magician: It makes things disappear every month!
- I asked my doctor if my uterus was getting enough exercise. He said, “It’s doing somersaults every month!”
- My uterus is like a moody teenager. It’s happy one minute and cramping the next.
- I’m not saying my uterus is bossy, but it definitely runs the show.
- I tried to explain the menstrual cycle to my dog. He just looked at me with a blank stare.
- My uterus is like a tiny oven. It’s always baking something up.
- I told my friend I was having cramps. She said, “Welcome to womanhood!”
- My uterus is like a drama queen. It loves to make a big scene.
- I’m not saying I’m in tune with my body, but I can always tell when my uterus is about to throw a party.
- My uterus is like a comedian. It always has a new joke to tell.
- I’m not sure what my uterus is complaining about. It gets a month-long vacation every year!
- My uterus is like a GPS. It always knows where to go.
- If my uterus could talk, it would probably say, “Rent’s due!”
- My uterus is like a rollercoaster: full of ups, downs, and unexpected turns.
Uterus QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Uterus
- Q: Why did the uterus break up with the ovary? A: It said things were getting too fallopian!
- Q: What’s a uterus’s favorite type of music? A: Anything but womb-step!
- Q: Did you hear about the uterus that won an award? A: It was an ovary-achiever!
- Q: What do you call a uterus that’s always trying to get things done? A: A contraction queen!
- Q: Why did the uterus get a job at the library? A: It loves books and has plenty of womb to store them!
- Q: How does a uterus greet its friends? A: “Hey girl, feeling ovary-joyed to see you!”
- Q: What’s a uterus’s favorite Shakespeare play? A: “Measure for Womb”!
- Q: Why was the uterus always so exhausted? A: It had a heavy flow that day!
- Q: Where do uteruses go on vacation? A: The Fallopian Islands!
- Q: What do you call a uterus that’s also a great dancer? A: A real swinging endometrium!
- Q: Why was the uterus feeling so blue? A: It was having a hormonal day!
- Q: What do you call a uterus that loves to sing? A: A divaphragm!
- Q: What’s a uterus’s favorite drink? A: Anything with electrolytes! Gotta replenish after all that contracting.
- Q: Why don’t uteruses ever give up? A: They’re incredibly resilient!
- Q: What did the uterus say to the egg after a long pregnancy? A: “It’s been a pleasure hosting you!”
Dad Jokes About Uterus: Pun-Filled Quips
- What did the uterus say to the arriving embryo? “Well, womb-service is slow today, but I can squeeze you in!”
- My doctor friend named his daughter after a part of the female anatomy. He’s got a great uterus sense of humor.
- Heard they’re making a movie about the uterus? I heard it’s from the director of Alien.
- What do you call a uterus that’s always contracting? A womb-at!
- What’s the uterus’ favorite dance move? The can-can!
- Someone asked me if I knew anything about the fallopian tubes. I said, “Sure, I’ve been there, done that, got the uterus!”
- I used to hate going to the gynecologist, but now I cervix out regularly!
- Why did the uterus blush? Because it saw the ovary-acting!
- Remember, ladies, if your uterus could talk, it would probably say, “You’re the womb-an!”
- Never argue with a uterus, it’s always right! Well, technically… it is always right there.
- Why don’t they serve alcohol in the uterus? Because it’s only for womb-en!
- My doctor said my uterus was in great shape. I told him, “Hey, I womb it, womb it!”
- Life is like a uterus: sometimes it throws you a curveball, sometimes it’s smooth sailing. But hey, at least there’s a lining to soften the blows!
Uterus Jokes and Puns for Kids
- Why did the tummy ache go to the doctor? It wasn’t feeling well!
- What did the left leg say to the right leg? Time to get moving!
- I tried to hold my breath for as long as I could. It was an air-resistable challenge!
- Why did the heart go to school? To learn how to pump up the volume!
- What do you call a sleepy brain? A nap-head!
- I’m not saying I’m ticklish, but I laughed so hard my sides hurt!
- My tummy is like a bouncy castle. It loves to jump around after I eat!
- I drank so much juice, I thought I was going to turn into a blueberry!
- Why did the bones go to the party? To have a skele-ton of fun!
- I tried to do a cartwheel, but I ended up looking like a wobbly pancake.
- What do you call a nose that won’t stop growing? Pinocchio-chio!
- My tongue is like a chameleon. It can change colors depending on what I eat!
- I ate so many cookies, I thought I was going to turn into a crumb!
- Why did the teeth go to the dentist? For a check-up!
- I’m not saying I’m flexible, but I can touch my toes… sometimes!
Uterus Jokes and Puns for Elders
- I’m not saying I’m old, but I remember when “going viral” meant catching a cold.
- My knees are like weather forecasters. They can always tell when it’s going to rain.
- I used to chase my dreams. Now I’m just trying to catch my breath.
- I’m not saying I’m forgetful, but I’ve started labeling my socks “left” and “right.”
- My grandkids asked me what my favorite app was. I said, “Naptime.”
- I’m at the age where my idea of a wild Friday night is getting to bed early.
- I’m not saying I’m wise, but I do have a lot of experience in making mistakes.
- My back goes out more often than I do.
- I’m not sure what’s more wrinkled, my face or my favorite shirt.
- I told my doctor I was feeling my age. He said, “Well, that’s better than feeling someone else’s!”
- I’m at the age where “getting lucky” means finding the TV remote.
- My idea of exercise is walking to the mailbox and back.
- I’m not saying I’m hard of hearing, but I can hear a potato chip drop from a mile away.
- I’m so used to early bird specials, I start getting hungry at 3 pm.
- I’m not saying I’m slow, but I can make a cup of tea last an entire afternoon.
Uterus Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media
- My uterus is like a luxury apartment in New York City: it’s been vacant for years and the rent is outrageous.
- Just found out my uterus is actually a timeshare. Apparently, someone else gets to use it for nine months every few years! #MomLife
- My doctor asked me if I’ve been experiencing any unusual uterine activity. I told her, “Only when it sings along to BeyoncΓ©.” π
- My uterus is like a very exclusive nightclub: there’s a strict one-in, one-out policy.
- You know you’re an adult when you have a favorite period tracking app AND a strong opinion on menstrual cups. My uterus feels seen. π
- Me: I think my body is ready for a baby! My Uterus: Girl, are you hearing yourself? We haven’t even unpacked from the last vacation! #PeriodHumor
- Every month, my uterus throws the same party. It’s a real bloody affair. π·π©Έπ
- Tried explaining to my boyfriend that my uterus isn’t a storage unit for unfulfilled dreams. He suggested adding a nursery corner. Send help! π€ͺ
- BREAKING NEWS: Local uterus overthrows ovaries, establishes a chocolate and wine dictatorship. More at 11. π«π·π
- Relationship status: dating my heating pad. My uterus is the jealous type. #PeriodProblems
- Doctors told me I have a “tilted uterus.” I told them it’s just expressing its artistic side. We’re all about that abstract life here. πββοΈ
- My therapist told me to visualize a peaceful place. I chose my uterus during the off-season. It’s the ultimate relaxation destination. π #NoVacancy
- Who needs a gym membership? With all the cramps and bloating, my uterus provides a full-body workout every month! πͺπ
- Single and ready to mingle… said no uterus ever. Please send chocolate and leave me alone. π«πͺ
- Life is like a box of chocolates, and my uterus is allergic to nuts. It’s complicated. π
That’s Womb We Leave Our Jokes!
We womb-inly hope you enjoyed these uterus-ly funny jokes and puns! If you’re looking for more humor to brighten your day, don’t be shy, explore the rest of our punny website. We’ve got jokes on every topic under the sun (and even a few about the moon!).