110+ Walmart Jokes & Puns: Rollback To Laughter!
Get ready to roll back the aisles of laughter with the best Walmart jokes this side of the Mississippi! 😂 We’ve got a jumbo-sized list of puns and humor so clever, it’s practically illegal (don’t worry, we checked with the smiley face at the door). Whether you’re looking for family-friendly fun for the kids or some wittier wordplay, this collection is guaranteed to tickle your funny bone. Get your shopping carts ready, because we’re about to dive headfirst into a world of Walmart wonders! 🛒✨
Clever Walmart Puns – Top Picks
- Wally’s World Deals!
- Cartwheels of Savings!
- Low Price Rollback Laughs!
- I Can’t Believe It’s Walmart!
- Always Low Pun Prices!
- Walmart: Punbelievable Values!
- Everyday Low Pun-der $5!
- Great Value Pun-der $10!
- Shop Happy, Pun Happy!
- Walmart: Pun-tastic Savings!
- Where Savings Are a Given!
- Get Your Pun On!
- Walmart: Pun Intended!
- Expect More. Pun More.
- Save Money. Pun Live Better.
Top Walmart Jokes – Best Picks
- Why don’t they sell calendars at Walmart? Because their days are always numbered.
- What’s the most popular pick-up line at Walmart? “Excuse me, is this aisle taken?”
- I saw a sign that said “Watch for Children” at Walmart. I thought, “That sounds like a fair trade.”
- Walmart is starting their own brand of gourmet coffee. It’s called “Great Value-Added Bean Scene.”
- What’s the difference between a church and Walmart? At Walmart, they actually want you to whisper in the dressing rooms.
- I saw a guy wearing camouflage at Walmart. I didn’t even know he was there until he spoke to me.
- Why did the Walmart greeter quit his job? He was tired of being taken for granted.
- I tripped over a box of “Great Value” cereal at Walmart. I guess the price was right, but the placement needed work.
- What do you call a successful employee at the Walmart bakery? A real “roll” model!
- Why did the Walmart shopper cross the road? Because she parked her shopping cart on the other side.
- My friend got a job at Walmart assembling bicycles. He’s got a pretty sweet gig.
- Heard about the new Walmart romance novel? It’s called “Fifty Shades of Clearance.”
- Never ask a Walmart employee where something is. They’ll always say “If we had it, it would be on this aisle.”
Funny Walmart One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Walmart Jokes
- I tried to start a dating service at Walmart, but I couldn’t find any shelf-respecting singles.
- What’s the difference between Walmart and the ocean? You can’t negotiate with a Walmart cashier.
- They say love is priceless… but at Walmart, it’s probably on clearance in aisle 7.
- My therapist told me to find my happy place. So I went back to Walmart for the 5th time this week.
- Always borrow money from a pessimist. They won’t expect it back. Especially if you met them at Walmart.
- My fashion sense is “put together from five different clearance racks at Walmart.”
- I told my friend Walmart sells everything. He said, “I doubt it, they don’t have the cure for stupidity!” I told him to go look in the mirror.
- Went to a fight club that started in Walmart. It was an all-out brawl for savings.
- You’re the only ten I see… dollars I found on the ground outside Walmart.
- Avoid Walmart on Friday the 13th…unless you’re writing a screenplay about a discount apocalypse.
- People watching at Walmart is more entertaining than Netflix, and the snacks are cheaper.
- I wouldn’t say I’m addicted to shopping at Walmart, but I am a regular at their self-checkout lane support group.
- They say money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy you a shopping cart full of stuff at Walmart, and that’s basically the same thing.
- Went to Walmart to buy some camouflage pants, but I couldn’t find any.
- Walmart: Where the fashion statements are always “on sale” and the people-watching is couture.
Walmart QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Walmart
- Q: Why did the shopper bring a ladder to Walmart? A: They heard the prices were sky-high!
- Q: What’s the most competitive department at Walmart? A: The aisle with the discounted TVs – it’s a real Price War-zone!
- Q: Did you hear about the detective who works at Walmart? A: He’s got a keen eye for shoplifters. He’s a real Wally Watcher!
- Q: What did the zen master say about Walmart? A: “The prices are low, the aisles are long… existence is pain.”
- Q: Why do ghosts love shopping at Walmart? A: They’re always looking for bargains from the after-life!
- Q: Did you hear about the new Walmart dating app? A: It’s called “Low Expectations.”
- Q: Why is Walmart like the ocean? A: You never know what treasures – or creatures – you’ll find in the depths!
- Q: What do you call a successful side hustle selling stuff on Walmart.com? A: A “Wal-to-Wall Street” success story!
- Q: Why are the plants at Walmart so cheap? A: They’re always marked down to “clearance!”
- Q: What’s the moral of the story about the lost child who was reunited with his parents at Walmart? A: Don’t worry, it has a happy rollback ending!
- Q: What’s the most common phrase overheard at the Walmart customer service desk? A: “Can I speak to your manager… please.”
- Q: Why wouldn’t the cashier give the Walmart shopper a price check? A: He said, “Look, dude, the savings are already in the bag!”
- Q: Did you hear about the psychic who got a job at Walmart? A: He was hired to tell customers what they REALLY came in for!
- Q: What’s the difference between Walmart and the Bermuda Triangle? A: In the Bermuda Triangle, things disappear mysteriously. At Walmart, your money just disappears.
Dad Jokes About Walmart: Pun-Filled Quips
- I saw a sign that said “Watch for Children” at Walmart. Underneath, someone scribbled, “They’re fast!” I chuckled, “Seems like aisle-ways the case!”
- Why did the dad win the Walmart shopping cart race? Because he was always a-head of the game!
- What do you call a group of dads comparing grills at Walmart? A grate debate!
- My wife wanted me to pick up a new ironing board at Walmart. I said, “But honey, I hardly ever iron.” She replied, “That’s not very press-ing!”
- I tried returning a pair of camouflage pants to Walmart, but they told me they couldn’t find them. Looks like their plan worked!
- I wanted to buy a camouflage tent for my camping trip, but I couldn’t find any at Walmart. Guess they were sold out!
- Did you hear about the psychic arrested at Walmart? Apparently, he was caught shoplifting pre-cognitively!
- Never take your dad to Walmart on an empty stomach. He’ll complain that everything looks appe-aisle-ing.
- Don’t argue with the greeters at Walmart. They’ve heard it all before—they’re quite the well-versed veterans.
- Why don’t they sell mystery novels in the Walmart grocery section? Because they keep going missing from the produce aisle! (Missing produce aisles…)
- I told my wife we needed to go to Walmart, but she wanted to stay home and relax. I said, “Come on, it’ll be fun!” She looked at me skeptically. “Since when is Walmart fun?” To which I replied, “Don’t be ridicu-louse!”
- Walmart just opened a new store that only sells boomerangs. They’re calling it the Return Center!
- A new Walmart opened up that only sells clocks. It’s called “Time-Mart!”
- My wife got mad at me for spending so much time in the tool aisle at Walmart. I told her I was just trying to fix our relationship.
Walmart Jokes and Puns for Kids
- Why did the toy car get lost in Walmart? Because it took a wrong turn down the aisle-ways! 🚗
- What did the happy crayon say at Walmart? “Yellow there!” 🖍️
- Where do tired shopping carts sleep? In the cart-o-board box! 🛒
- What’s a crayon’s favorite thing to buy at Walmart? A drawing board! 🖍️
- Why did the grapes giggle at Walmart? They saw the juice-loose! 🍇
- What did the shampoo say to the conditioner at Walmart? “Let’s be shelf-ish and take up all the space!” 🧴
- Where do teddy bears shop for clothes? At the Walmart bear-gain bin! 🧸
- Why was the banana sad at Walmart? He was having a split-second of doubt about being peeled! 🍌
- What did the clock do at Walmart? It went tick-shopping! ⏰
- What’s a broom’s favorite department at Walmart? The sweep-stakes section! 🧹
- Why don’t they sell ghosts at Walmart? Because they’re always out of stock!👻
- Why did the bicycle fall over in Walmart? Because it was twoTIRED! 🚲
- What’s as big as Walmart, but weighs nothing? It’s shadow! 🏢
- Why do fish like shopping at Walmart? They have plenty of “schools” of fish! 🐠
- What do you call a funny story about Walmart? A Wall-of-a-mart! 😂
Walmart Jokes and Puns for Elders
- Why don’t they sell calendars at Walmart? Because they have too many dates!
- You know you’re getting old when… a trip to Walmart counts as a night out.
- I saw a sign in Walmart that said “Watch for Children.” So I asked, “How old do they have to be before we can watch them?”
- My doctor told me to get more exercise. So I took a lap around Walmart in my electric cart. Does that count?
- Walmart is testing out a new senior discount program. It’s called “Early Bird Gets the Depends.”
- They say money can’t buy happiness. Clearly, they’ve never been shopping at Walmart with a 20% off coupon.
- I went to Walmart looking for a camouflage jacket. Couldn’t find one. They blend in so well!
- Did you hear about the new Walmart romance novel? It’s called “Fifty Shades of Value.”
- Why did the elder couple get kicked out of Walmart? They were caught playing bingo in the gardening aisle.
- I used to think Walmart was just a store. Now I realize it’s a competitive sport for seniors.
- Walmart is like a high school reunion. You see a lot of people you know, but try to avoid eye contact.
- My grandkids bought me a Fitbit for my birthday. Now I’m the fastest walker in the Walmart pharmacy line.
- Walmart should offer a senior discount day. They could call it “Wrinkle Wednesday.”
- I went to Walmart for a gallon of milk and a loaf of bread. Two hours and $200 later, I remembered what I went there for.
- Don’t worry about growing old. At Walmart, you can still find everything you need for the low, low price of your dignity!
Walmart Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media
- Just saw a guy open eight tubs of ice cream in Walmart to find his favorite flavor. Guess you could say he was… Walmarauding. 😏
- My wallet after a Walmart trip is like an onion. I wanna cry looking at it, and there’s a lot of layers to how I ended up spending so much. 😭💸
- My bank account is to Walmart, what moths are to a flame. Inexplicably drawn, with disastrous results. 🔥💳
- My therapist told me to embrace my mistakes. So, I walked into Walmart and gave everyone a hug. 🤷♀️
- Remember when they said print newspapers were a dying industry? Walmart’s coupon section alone proves them wrong. 📰💰
- You know you live near a Walmart when… “going for milk” turns into a three-hour expedition and a cart full of impulse buys. 🥛🛒
- Someone asked if I preferred Target or Walmart. I said, “Target. I like my shopping trips with a side of not getting judged.” 😉🎯
- Walmart at 2 AM is basically a nature documentary. You see things you can’t unsee, and question the existence of humanity. 😳🦉
- Relationship Status: In a committed, yet toxic, relationship with Walmart’s Great Value brand. It’s complicated. 💖🤮
- Me: I’m only going to get one thing. Also me, leaving Walmart with enough groceries to feed a small army. Every. Single. Time. 🪖🛒
- Just witnessed a full-on lightsaber battle in the Walmart toy aisle. Turns out, the Force is strong with these ones… especially with those clearance deals. 🤺🧸
- I’m convinced Walmart pumps the scent of freshly baked cookies throughout the store just to mess with my willpower, and my diet. 🍪😈
- Don’t ever ask me for relationship advice. Just look at how quickly I fall for Walmart’s “rollback” prices. Clearly, I have no self-control. 📉😅
