135+ Toilet Puns & Jokes: You’re Full of It!

ByRabia Noreen & Team

Get ready to flush with laughter! 😂🚽 This list of the best toilet puns and jokes is here to tickle your funny bone. We’ve got humor for everyone, even jokes about toilets that are safe for kids! Get ready for some seriously clever and positive potty humor, because this list is anything but crappy! 💩 Let’s dive into a bowlful of laughs!

Top ‘Toilet Jokes’ – Best Picks

  1. Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? To get to the bottom! 🚽
  2. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato! 🥔🚽
  3. What’s the difference between a bad golfer and a bad toilet? A bad golfer can still get a hole-in-one! 🏌️‍♂️🚽
  4. Why did the toilet bowl get a job at the bank? It’s great with deposits! 💰🚽
  5. What’s a toilet’s favorite genre of music? Anything by the bowl movement! 🎶🚽
  6. Why are toilets always so tired? They get flushed with excitement all day! 😅🚽
  7. Why don’t they make toilet bowls out of glass? Because then everyone could see your business! 😳🚽
  8. What do you call a toilet that’s been painted gold? A throne room! 👑🚽
  9. How can you tell if a toilet is extroverted? It loves to bowl you over with conversation! 🗣️🚽
  10. Why is a toilet like a bad roommate? They both take your crap! roommates 🚽
  11. What do you call a toilet that’s always in trouble? A porcelain perpetrator! 👮🚽
  12. Why did the toilet get sent to time out? For always being flush with cash! ⏱️🚽
  13. What’s a toilet’s favorite game show? Wheel of Fortune, because they love a good spin! 🎡🚽
  14. Why don’t toilets ever tell secrets? Because they’re always getting flushed away! 🤫🚽
  15. What do you get if you cross a toilet with a potato? A commode-o-fry! 🥔🚽
  16. How do you fix a broken toilet? With a potty trainer! 💪🚽
  17. What’s the most embarrassing thing you can do in a public toilet? Forget to check if the stall is free! 😬🚽
Ultimate list and collection of Best Toilet Jokes and Puns, One-liners, Dad Jokes, Funny Quotes, and Captions - Discover engaging and humorous content at PunnyHub.com

Clever ‘Toilet Puns’ – Best Picks

  1. Toilet-ally blown away! (Expressing amazement)
  2. Don’t worry, be potty-tive! (Encouraging optimism)
  3. Feeling under the weather? Maybe you need some toilet-tea! (Sympathizing with someone feeling sick)
  4. I’m so broke, I can barely afford toilet-paper-view! (Joking about being poor)
  5. This traffic is unbearable! I’m about to have a toilet-al meltdown! (Expressing frustration about traffic)
  6. She’s completely toilet-ated to him; it’s adorable! (Describing someone infatuated)
  7. Excuse me, I need to use the restroom. It’s a dire potty-uation! (Making light of needing the toilet urgently)
  8. Life is like a roll of toilet paper: the closer you get to the end, the faster it goes! (Philosophical humor)
  9. He’s such a toilet-man! Always charming his way out of trouble. (Playing on “lothario”)
  10. I’m not sure what’s wrong with my plumbing, but it’s a real toilet-blazer! (Complaining about plumbing issues)
  11. You’re looking flush with cash today! Win the toilet-tery? (Commenting on someone’s apparent wealth)
  12. That performance was absolutely toilet-tastic! (Expressing enthusiastic approval)
  13. My New Year’s resolution is to be more potty-lite and carefree! (Joking about resolutions)
  14. I’m so tired, I could sleep in a toilet bowl… well, maybe not that tired. (Exaggerating exhaustion)
  15. You can’t rush creativity. It’s like trying to schedule a bowel movement – completely toilet-arian! (Humorously describing creative process)
  16. I’m not saying I’m lazy, but I once got fired from a job for ‘excessive toilet-tering’! (Self-deprecating humor about laziness)
  17. The plumber’s motto: “We’re always happy to deal with your toilet-ments!” (Humorous take on a plumber’s work)
  18. That movie was so bad, I walked out during the toilet-break! (Expressing disappointment with a movie)
  19. Don’t worry, I’ve got this situation completely under con-toilet! (Expressing confidence and control)

Funny ‘Toilet One-Liner Jokes’ – Short & Funny Toilet Jokes

  1. My friend said his toilet singing career was going down the drain. I told him to take a seat, it’s all about the delivery.
  2. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? Pouch potato! And his least favorite chore? Cleaning the toilet…he says it’s too much commode-motion.
  3. My therapist told me to face my fears. So I gave my toilet phobia a swirly.
  4. I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now. The toilet, however, is still hooked.
  5. You know, I thought about being a plumber, but the work was too draining. Plus, the toilets were always giving me the cold shoulder.
  6. My toilet’s autobiography is coming out soon. It’s called “My Life on the Bowl.”
  7. Never trust a toilet, they’re always up to something.
  8. My friend’s such a bad poet, even the toilet refuses to flush his work. Says it’s too crappy.
  9. Heard a rumor about a haunted bathroom…turns out it was just a ghost writer working on his latest toilet paper novel.
  10. I tried to start a toilet paper company, but it folded. Turns out, it was all a load of crap.
  11. Life is like a toilet paper roll. The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes.
  12. I met a plumber who could predict the future with his plunger. He said my love life was going down the toilet.
  13. Just saw a sign that said “Toilet Out of Order.” Sounds more like an excuse for a party to me!
  14. Why are toilets always so lonely? Because they’re constantly getting dumped on!
  15. Never judge a book by its cover, or a toilet by its smell. Sometimes appearances can be deceiving.
  16. My new year’s resolution? Be more like my toilet: calm, cool, and always ready for whatever life throws my way.

Toilet QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Toilet

  1. Q: What did the plunger say to the clogged toilet? A: “Hey, we need to talk. This relationship is going down the drain.”
  2. Q: Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? A: To get to the bottom of things!
  3. Q: Where do ghosts go to use the bathroom? A: The boo-throom!
  4. Q: What do you call a toilet that’s been installed incorrectly? A: A porcelain throne with a terrible reign.
  5. Q: What’s the most important thing to do when training your pet goldfish? A: Be sure to potty-train him!
  6. Q: What do you get if you cross a toilet and a volcano? A: I don’t know, but you wouldn’t want to be nearby when it erupts!
  7. Q: Why don’t they play poker in the bathroom? A: Because the stakes are too high!
  8. Q: What’s brown and sits in a corner? A: A naughty toilet!
  9. Q: Why did the toilet paper quit his job? A: He felt wiped out.
  10. Q: What did the plumber say to his assistant? A: “Let’s get this toilet party started!”
  11. Q: What do you call a toilet that’s always happy to see you? A: An enthu-si-assed commode.
  12. Q: How can you tell a shy toilet? A: It always keeps its lid down.
  13. Q: Why is being a plumber so confusing? A: Because when they’re called for a leak downstairs, they still check the attic!
  14. Q: What did the toilet say to the motivational speaker? A: “You really seem to know how to flush out an idea!”
  15. Q: What kind of music do toilets listen to? A: Anything but heavy metal – they can’t stand the flush!
  16. Q: Why did the detective sit on the toilet? A: He was looking for the missing stool-en jewels!
  17. Q: How did the toilet win the race against the bathtub? A: It took a short cut!
  18. Q: What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A: Pouch potato! (Okay, this one is a bonus, just for laughs!)
  19. Q: Why did the toilet get sent to his room? A: For bad be-hive-ior! 🐝

Dad Jokes About Toilet: Pun-Filled Quips

  1. Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? To get to the bottom!
  2. I told my wife we needed a more sophisticated toilet. She said, “What are you talking about? That’s a porcelain throne!”
  3. What do you call a toilet that’s always clogged? A real pisser!
  4. Why don’t they make toilet bowls out of rubber? Because then you’d have to ‘bowl’ a strike every time!
  5. Why are toilets always so good at poker? They always get a full house!
  6. What does a nervous toilet do? It goes “Wee wee wee” all the way home!
  7. What kind of music do they play in toilets in England? Loo-tenant Dan!
  8. My wife found me talking to the toilet bowl this morning… I was just asking it where it went on vacation, because it looked so flushed!
  9. I used to be afraid of toilets, but then… I got potty trained.
  10. My kid asked me what the opposite of a water closet was… I said, “A fire hydrant?”
  11. You know what the worst thing about owning a porcelain throne is? Royalties.
  12. Never tell a toilet your secrets… They have a tendency to leak.
  13. I accidentally dropped my phone in the toilet earlier… It’s fine though, it was in airplane commode!
  14. The toilet paper roll called. It said… “I’m on a roll!”
  15. What’s the difference between a comedian and a toilet? One gets paid to make splash, the other just makes you go “Ahh.”
  16. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato! …Wait, that’s not about toilets.
  17. I got stuck in the bathroom for three hours yesterday… The door handle kept saying “occupied.”
  18. My toilet’s been acting strangely lately… I think it might be taking things for granite.

Toilet Jokes and Puns for Kids

  1. Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? To get to the bottom!
  2. What does a well-mannered toilet always say? You go first!
  3. What musical instrument do they play in the bathroom? A tuba toothpaste!
  4. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Toilet. Toilet who? Toilet you later!
  5. Why did the boy take a pencil to the bathroom? Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
  6. Where do superheroes go to the bathroom? The Flushroom!
  7. What did the potty pot say to the toilet? You look a bit flushed!
  8. Why do plumbers love toilets? They’re their bread and butter!
  9. What’s a toilet’s favorite dance move? The potty train!
  10. Why did the toilet get a bad grade in school? It always got everything backwards!
  11. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato!
  12. Why don’t they play poker in the bathroom? Too much flush-ing going on!
  13. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear! (Nothing to do with toilets, but still hilarious!)
  14. What kind of paper do they use in the bathroom in France? Toilet-paper-ri!
  15. Never tell a secret in the bathroom… The walls have ears, and the drains have murmurs!
  16. My brother is obsessed with toilets. I told him to quit… But he’s really into potty training!
  17. Why did the toilet paper win an award? It was always so ply-te!
  18. How do you make a toilet paper roll faster? Take away the first sheet – then it’s on a roll!
  19. What’s a toilet’s favorite game? Flush you!
  20. Why is it so loud in the bathroom? Because the water’s always rushing to get there!

Toilet Jokes and Puns for Adults

  1. My therapist told me to face my problems head-on. Guess I’ll be spending a lot more time in the bathroom.
  2. What does a throne and a toilet have in common? They both see a royal flush.
  3. You know, toilets are incredibly judgmental. They’re always giving you that look of disapproval when you sit down.
  4. I tried to explain to my dog that the toilet isn’t a wishing well, but I think he’s still holding out for pennies.
  5. My friend said he feels most relieved when he’s on the toilet. I told him, “You know, that’s where most of your problems go.”
  6. They say your phone is ten times dirtier than a toilet seat. Big deal. I’ve never seen someone get excited about cleaning their phone.
  7. My apartment is so small, the bathroom is actually a time machine. I go in feeling my age, and come out feeling like I’m two days younger from holding it.
  8. Dating a contortionist is great, until you walk in on them using the toilet and they’re facing the wrong way.
  9. The inventor of the automatic toilet paper dispenser died today. May he rest in peace… or at least find a comfortable ply.
  10. I’m writing a romance novel about a plumber and a decorator. It’s called “Love at First Flush”.
  11. My doctor asked about my fiber intake. I told him I’m pretty regular on the internet.
  12. If life gives you lemons, make lemonade. If life gives you diarrhea, well, you’re probably close to a toilet anyway.
  13. I always feel like I’m losing the argument with automatic soap dispensers. They’re always giving me the cold shoulder.
  14. Just saw a sign that said, “Restroom for customers only.” Guess I’ll just have to hold it until I buy something. Talk about pressure sales tactics.
  15. Tried to have a deep conversation with the toilet bowl. Turned out to be pretty shallow.
  16. I’m at that age where “getting lucky” means making it to the toilet on time.
  17. My new year’s resolution was to be more positive… but I think I flushed it down the toilet.

Toilet Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Other Social Media

  1. My toilet’s been acting really strange lately. Guess it’s just going through a phase… or should I say, a porcelain phase? 🚽😂
  2. Someone stole the toilet from the police station. The cops have nothing to go on! 🚓😭
  3. What do you call a toilet that’s been broken up with? Recently single-ply. 😭🧻💔
  4. My toilet paper roll just fell on the floor. I guess you could say it’s… down on its luck? 🧻😔
  5. Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? To get to the bottom! 🧻🤣
  6. You know, life is a lot like toilet paper. You’re either on a roll, or taking crap from someone. 🧻😌
  7. The life of a plumber is full of twists and turns, but mostly just… pipes and toilets! 🪠😂
  8. My toilet is always so backed up. It must be full of… crap! 💩🚽
  9. Why are bathrooms always so trusting? Because they’re always letting strangers in! 🚻🤨
  10. What’s the most important thing to do in the bathroom? Leave! 💨🚪😂
  11. I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now. Still hooked on toilet humor though!🧼😂🚽
  12. My friend’s a contortionist and makes a killing cleaning toilets. Talk about flexible income! 🤸‍♀️🚽💰
  13. My sink is so jealous of my toilet. It’s always getting all the good compliments! 😏🚽✨
  14. Never trust a toilet in a haunted house. It’s always up to something spooky! 👻🚽😨
  15. Why did the ghost get a job at the toilet factory? He loved the after-life! 👻🚽😂
  16. Dating a plumber is great. They really know how to handle a… commitment! 🪠😉
  17. Always be kind to your toilet. It’s always there for you in your time of… need! 🙏🚽😂
  18. Life is like a toilet bowl: What you get out of it depends on what you put into it. Just try not to think about that too much while you’re… you know! 🚽🤔😂

Flush Away Boredom: Share the Loo-dicrous Laughter!

We hope these toilet jokes didn’t leave you feeling flushed! But if you’re still thirsting for more potty humor, don’t worry, we’ve got you covered. Explore our punny website for a bowel-busting collection of jokes that are sure to make a splash!

Rabia Noreen & Team

Rabia Noreen: The Punnovator

Hi, I'm Rabia, the lead punster behind PunnyHub.com, alongside my incredible team. With a background in Comparative Literature, I specialize in turning phrases and crafting chuckles. My team and I are committed to delivering humor that not only entertains but enlightens. Every post we share is designed to sprinkle your day with laughter and a dash of wit. Find your Best Puns & Jokes.

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