103+ Squash Jokes & Puns: You’ve Been Served!

Get ready to giggle, because we’ve got the 🎃 best collection of squash jokes this side of the pumpkin patch! 😂 This list of funny squash puns and clever quips is perfect for kids and adults alike. So, grab a seat, maybe a butternut squash or two (we won’t judge!), and get ready for some serious humor. Prepare to laugh your gourd out! 🤣

Top Squash Jokes – Best Picks

1. Why did the squash player bring a ladder to the court? Because he heard his opponent was very good at drop shots!
2. What do you get if you cross a squash player and a comedian? I don’t know, but their delivery is sure to be killer!
3. I tried to explain to my friend how squash scoring works, but it was like talking to a brick wall. He just couldn’t get a rally going!
4. Why did the squash ball get sent to his room? He was being a little too bouncy!
5. Why was the squash coach always calm and collected? He never lost his composure! (Or his grip on the racket!)
6. What’s a ghost’s favorite sport to play? Squash, because they can walk through walls!
7. What does a competitive squash player eat before a big match? Nothing, they fast! (Get it? Like, really fast on the court…)
8. Where do squash players dance? At a squash ball! (Okay, that one was cheesy, I admit it).
9. Did you hear about the squash player who became a gardener? He had a knack for cultivating winners! (And for growing pumpkins, I assume).
10. Why did the squash player bring a map to the court? Because he kept getting lost in the rallies!
11. What’s a squash player’s favorite musical instrument? A squash-aphone! (Okay, I made that one up, but it’s got a nice ring to it, don’t you think?)
12. How can you tell someone is a world-class squash player? Don’t worry, they’ll tell you!
13. I wanted to open a squash-themed escape room, but… I couldn’t find a court big enough!
14. Why is squash the most humble sport? Because you’re always serving someone else!
15. Why are squash players so good at keeping secrets? They’re masters of deception! (And also, because nobody ever asks them about squash.)

Clever Squash Puns – Best Picks

1. Why did the squash go to the doctor? Because it had a bad case of the root-canal! 🎃
2. What’s a squash’s favorite genre of music? Anything BUT squash metal! 🤘
3. I tried to make squash soup in the bathtub, but I really made a splash! 🛁
4. You know, I used to be a professional squash athlete… but I got tired of being squashed by the competition. 😔
5. Why are squash so good at keeping secrets? Because they’re excellent listeners and always keep things hush-hush.🤫
6. What do you call a group of squash playing rock music? The Smashing Pumpkins! 🎸
7. My friend said he was making squash for dinner. I was really hoping it wasn’t going to be a squash-buckle! 🤠
8. Did you hear about the squash who became a stand-up comedian? He was always squashing the competition! 🎤
9. What’s orange, green, or yellow and flies through the air? A squash racket on its way to a smashing victory! 🏆
10. I tried to write a poem about squash, but I was afraid it would be too corny. 🌽
11. What’s a squash’s favorite type of car? Anything with plenty of squash room! 🚗
12. Why did the squash cross the road? To prove he wasn’t chicken…he was gourd-geous! 🐔
13. I’m starting to think my squash is plotting against me – it keeps giving me the evil eye! 😈
14. Don’t argue with a stubborn squash, they’re always trying to prove their point! ☝️

Funny Squash One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Squash Jokes

1. Why didn’t the squash play well with the other vegetables? Because it had a chip on its shoulder.
2. I tried to make squash soup in the shower… it turned out to be a bad call.
3. What do you call a squash that’s a sore loser? A butternut squash.
4. My friend said he’d quit his job if his squash-growing business failed. Luckily, it all worked out.
5. What’s a squash’s favorite type of music? Anything but squash metal!
6. Why did the squash get lost in the library? It went down the wrong aisle.
7. Why did the squash cross the road? To prove it wasn’t chicken.
8. I accidentally dropped a squash on my foot… I’m calling it a squash injury.
9. A squash walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, “Hey! We have a drink named after you!” The squash says, “What? You have a drink called Steve?”
10. Where do squash players hang out after a match? The court-yard.
11. You know a squash is ripe when… …you can’t squash it anymore!
12. I tried to explain to my friend the difference between squash and pumpkin… …It was like talking to a brick wall.
13. Don’t be sad if your squash plant isn’t doing well. There’s still hope. You just gotta gourd-ge on!
14. I tried to make a sculpture out of squash once… …it was a bust.

Squash QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Squash

1. Q: Why did the butternut squash blush? A: Because it saw the salad dressing!
2. Q: What does a weightlifter do with a squash? A: He squats with it!
3. Q: What’s a squash’s favorite music? A: Anything but squash metal!
4. Q: Why did the baby squash get in trouble? A: He kept saying “Pumkin you!”
5. Q: Did you hear about the squash that became a lawyer? A: He was known for squashing the competition!
6. Q: How do you fix a broken squash? A: With a pumpkin patch!
7. Q: What do you call a group of squashes playing instruments? A: A gourd band!
8. Q: What’s a squash’s favorite type of car? A: Anything but a compact!
9. Q: Why didn’t the squash win the beauty contest? A: It had too many wrinkles!
10. Q: What do you call a squash that’s a sore loser? A: A bitter gourd!
11. Q: Why did the squash get sent to his room? A: He was being a little gourd!
12. Q: Why did the chef add squash to the dessert? A: For a surprising ‘squash’ of flavor!
13. Q: What did the squash say to the pumpkin on Valentine’s Day? A: “I’m vine-ly yours!”
14. Q: What did one squash say to the other when they bumped into each other? A: “Oh my gourd, I’m so sorry!”
15. Q: Why don’t squashes like tight spaces? A: They don’t want to be squashed!

Dad Jokes About Squash: Pun-Filled Quips

1. I tried to make squash soup in the shower…turns out it’s a slippery slope.
2. Why did the squash go rolling down the hill? It saw a sign that said, “Get Smashed Here!”
3. My son asked me to play squash with him. I said, “Sure, but I need to warm up my pun muscles first.”
4. Did you hear about the squash that won an award? It was the pick of the patch!
5. Why didn’t the baby squash win any prizes at the fair? It was too gourd-geous for its own good!
6. Squash is so versatile – you can eat it, you can play with it…you can even use it to make a house if you’re a very small woodland creature!
7. You know what they say…if you love something, let it squash.
8. I told my wife I volunteered at the soup kitchen making squash soup. She said, “Don’t get squashed by the pressure!”
9. What do you call a squash that’s really good at arguing? A rebuttal-cini squash!
10. My kid wanted to know if squash could see. I said, “Of course! They have eyes all over their skin..Haven’t you seen ’em?”
11. Why did the squash cross the road? It was tired of being called a “gourd.”
12. Why did the squash get sent to the principal’s office? For being a little too seedy.

Squash Jokes and Puns for Kids

1. Why didn’t the squash win the race? Because it ran out of squash!
2. What’s a squash’s favorite music? Anything BUT squash music!
3. Why did the baby squash get in trouble at school? For throwing a tantrum…and a butternut squash!
4. What do you call a squash that’s really good at solving mysteries? An investi-squash-tor!
5. Why did the squash cross the road? It saw a sign that said “Beware of fast cars,” but it knew it wasn’t a car, it was a squash!
6. What do you get if you cross a bee and a squash? I don’t know, but it sure would be a buzzy-nut to meet!
7. What’s a squash’s favorite sport? Squash, of course!
8. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot repeating “Squash!”
9. Why did the squash get lost in the corn maze? Because it couldn’t find its squash-light!
10. What do you call a sad squash? Melancholi-squash!
11. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ash. Ash who? Bless you! You must have a squash cold!
12. Why did the squash go to the doctor? It was feeling a little acorn-y!
13. What did the mama squash say to her kids before they left for school? Have a gourd time!
14. What’s a squash’s favorite dance move? The mashed potato!
15. Why are squash so smart? Because they have lots of Vitamin-See!

Squash Jokes and Puns for Elders

1. Why did the retired gardener win every squash competition? He was a seasoned pro.
2. My doctor told me to eat more squash for my fiber… Sounds like a lot of gourd work to me!
3. I tried to explain cryptocurrency to my friend who loves gardening. I said, “Imagine growing digital squash…” He said, “So, it’s a pump and dump scheme?”
4. Why do squash players make terrible dancers? Because they always step on your toes on the court.
5. Two old friends bump into each other at the farmer’s market. One says, “Remember our squash-growing rivalry?” The other replies, “Yeah, those were the gourd old days.”
6. Ever notice how squash seems to multiply in your garden overnight? It’s like they have a secret society dedicated to world domination…one backyard at a time.
7. My wife loves making butternut squash soup. Me? Not so keen. It’s a gourd-y affair, if you ask me.
8. What do you call a really intense squash match between two retirees? A game of wrinkles and rackets.
9. I saw a sign that said “Free Squash.” Turns out, there were strings attached.
10. Why did the squash player get detention? He kept lobbing insults at his opponent.
11. I went to a restaurant that served only squash dishes. Turned out to be a bit of a racket… overpriced and not much variety!
12. What does a squash and a fine wine have in common? They both get better with age. (Sometimes.)
13. You know you’re getting old when… You get winded just watching a game of squash.
14. My physical therapist suggested I take up squash for exercise. I told him, “At my age, I’m more worried about my squash goals!”
15. Retirement is like a garden full of possibilities… Some days you feel like a prize-winning pumpkin, others…well, you’re just a bit of a smashed squash.

Squash Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media

1. Just saw a ghost trying to cook butternut squash… I guess you could say he was really spooked about dinner. 👻🎃
2. Why don’t they play squash in the jungle? They’re afraid of a racket-eer like a tiger! 🐅🎾
3. I tried to make a car out of squash once. It was a gourd-geous failure. 🚗🎃
4. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot saying ” Squash!” 🥕🦜
5. Someone keeps stealing squash from my garden. I’m starting to think it’s an inside zucchini. 🕵️‍♀️🥒
6. What’s a squash’s favorite genre of music? Anything butternut metal! 🤘🎃
7. Why did the squash get lost in the corn maze? Because he couldn’t find his squash-buckling way out! 🌽🗺️
8. I told my friend I was making butternut squash soup, but he didn’t believe me. Guess he’ll just have to *sea for himself! 🍲👀
9. What do you call a group of squash playing heavy metal? A mash-pit. 🤘🎃
10. My therapist told me to squash my feelings. I think I need a second ap-peach-ion. 🍑😌
11. Why did the acorn squash fail its driving test? It kept running into the curb. 🌰🚗
12. I tried to explain to my dog why he can’t eat squash… It went right over his gourd. 🐶🤯

That’s a Gourd Wrap on Squash Humor!

We hope these squash puns haven’t squashed your funny bone! But if you’re still hungry for more laughs, don’t just sit there like a lump on a vine – explore our website for a bountiful harvest of hilarious puns and jokes!

Rabia Noreen: The Punnovator

Hi, I'm Rabia, the lead punster behind PunnyHub.com, alongside my incredible team. With a background in Comparative Literature, I specialize in turning phrases and crafting chuckles. My team and I are committed to delivering humor that not only entertains but enlightens. Every post we share is designed to sprinkle your day with laughter and a dash of wit. Find your Best Puns & Jokes.

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