103+ Squash Jokes & Puns: You’ve Been Served!
Get ready to giggle, because we’ve got the 🎃 best collection of squash jokes this side of the pumpkin patch! 😂 This list of funny squash puns and clever quips is perfect for kids and adults alike. So, grab a seat, maybe a butternut squash or two (we won’t judge!), and get ready for some serious humor. Prepare to laugh your gourd out! 🤣
Top Squash Jokes – Best Picks
- Why did the squash player bring a ladder to the court? Because he heard his opponent was very good at drop shots!
- What do you get if you cross a squash player and a comedian? I don’t know, but their delivery is sure to be killer!
- I tried to explain to my friend how squash scoring works, but it was like talking to a brick wall. He just couldn’t get a rally going!
- Why did the squash ball get sent to his room? He was being a little too bouncy!
- Why was the squash coach always calm and collected? He never lost his composure! (Or his grip on the racket!)
- What’s a ghost’s favorite sport to play? Squash, because they can walk through walls!
- What does a competitive squash player eat before a big match? Nothing, they fast! (Get it? Like, really fast on the court…)
- Where do squash players dance? At a squash ball! (Okay, that one was cheesy, I admit it).
- Did you hear about the squash player who became a gardener? He had a knack for cultivating winners! (And for growing pumpkins, I assume).
- Why did the squash player bring a map to the court? Because he kept getting lost in the rallies!
- What’s a squash player’s favorite musical instrument? A squash-aphone! (Okay, I made that one up, but it’s got a nice ring to it, don’t you think?)
- How can you tell someone is a world-class squash player? Don’t worry, they’ll tell you!
- I wanted to open a squash-themed escape room, but… I couldn’t find a court big enough!
- Why is squash the most humble sport? Because you’re always serving someone else!
- Why are squash players so good at keeping secrets? They’re masters of deception! (And also, because nobody ever asks them about squash.)
Clever Squash Puns – Best Picks
- Why did the squash go to the doctor? Because it had a bad case of the root-canal! 🎃
- What’s a squash’s favorite genre of music? Anything BUT squash metal! 🤘
- I tried to make squash soup in the bathtub, but I really made a splash! 🛁
- You know, I used to be a professional squash athlete… but I got tired of being squashed by the competition. 😔
- Why are squash so good at keeping secrets? Because they’re excellent listeners and always keep things hush-hush.🤫
- What do you call a group of squash playing rock music? The Smashing Pumpkins! 🎸
- My friend said he was making squash for dinner. I was really hoping it wasn’t going to be a squash-buckle! 🤠
- Did you hear about the squash who became a stand-up comedian? He was always squashing the competition! 🎤
- What’s orange, green, or yellow and flies through the air? A squash racket on its way to a smashing victory! 🏆
- I tried to write a poem about squash, but I was afraid it would be too corny. 🌽
- What’s a squash’s favorite type of car? Anything with plenty of squash room! 🚗
- Why did the squash cross the road? To prove he wasn’t chicken…he was gourd-geous! 🐔
- I’m starting to think my squash is plotting against me – it keeps giving me the evil eye! 😈
- Don’t argue with a stubborn squash, they’re always trying to prove their point! ☝️
Funny Squash One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Squash Jokes
- Why didn’t the squash play well with the other vegetables? Because it had a chip on its shoulder.
- I tried to make squash soup in the shower… it turned out to be a bad call.
- What do you call a squash that’s a sore loser? A butternut squash.
- My friend said he’d quit his job if his squash-growing business failed. Luckily, it all worked out.
- What’s a squash’s favorite type of music? Anything but squash metal!
- Why did the squash get lost in the library? It went down the wrong aisle.
- Why did the squash cross the road? To prove it wasn’t chicken.
- I accidentally dropped a squash on my foot… I’m calling it a squash injury.
- A squash walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, “Hey! We have a drink named after you!” The squash says, “What? You have a drink called Steve?”
- Where do squash players hang out after a match? The court-yard.
- You know a squash is ripe when… …you can’t squash it anymore!
- I tried to explain to my friend the difference between squash and pumpkin… …It was like talking to a brick wall.
- Don’t be sad if your squash plant isn’t doing well. There’s still hope. You just gotta gourd-ge on!
- I tried to make a sculpture out of squash once… …it was a bust.
Squash QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Squash
- Q: Why did the butternut squash blush? A: Because it saw the salad dressing!
- Q: What does a weightlifter do with a squash? A: He squats with it!
- Q: What’s a squash’s favorite music? A: Anything but squash metal!
- Q: Why did the baby squash get in trouble? A: He kept saying “Pumkin you!”
- Q: Did you hear about the squash that became a lawyer? A: He was known for squashing the competition!
- Q: How do you fix a broken squash? A: With a pumpkin patch!
- Q: What do you call a group of squashes playing instruments? A: A gourd band!
- Q: What’s a squash’s favorite type of car? A: Anything but a compact!
- Q: Why didn’t the squash win the beauty contest? A: It had too many wrinkles!
- Q: What do you call a squash that’s a sore loser? A: A bitter gourd!
- Q: Why did the squash get sent to his room? A: He was being a little gourd!
- Q: Why did the chef add squash to the dessert? A: For a surprising ‘squash’ of flavor!
- Q: What did the squash say to the pumpkin on Valentine’s Day? A: “I’m vine-ly yours!”
- Q: What did one squash say to the other when they bumped into each other? A: “Oh my gourd, I’m so sorry!”
- Q: Why don’t squashes like tight spaces? A: They don’t want to be squashed!
Dad Jokes About Squash: Pun-Filled Quips
- I tried to make squash soup in the shower…turns out it’s a slippery slope.
- Why did the squash go rolling down the hill? It saw a sign that said, “Get Smashed Here!”
- My son asked me to play squash with him. I said, “Sure, but I need to warm up my pun muscles first.”
- Did you hear about the squash that won an award? It was the pick of the patch!
- Why didn’t the baby squash win any prizes at the fair? It was too gourd-geous for its own good!
- Squash is so versatile – you can eat it, you can play with it…you can even use it to make a house if you’re a very small woodland creature!
- You know what they say…if you love something, let it squash.
- I told my wife I volunteered at the soup kitchen making squash soup. She said, “Don’t get squashed by the pressure!”
- What do you call a squash that’s really good at arguing? A rebuttal-cini squash!
- My kid wanted to know if squash could see. I said, “Of course! They have eyes all over their skin..Haven’t you seen ’em?”
- Why did the squash cross the road? It was tired of being called a “gourd.”
- Why did the squash get sent to the principal’s office? For being a little too seedy.
Squash Jokes and Puns for Kids
- Why didn’t the squash win the race? Because it ran out of squash!
- What’s a squash’s favorite music? Anything BUT squash music!
- Why did the baby squash get in trouble at school? For throwing a tantrum…and a butternut squash!
- What do you call a squash that’s really good at solving mysteries? An investi-squash-tor!
- Why did the squash cross the road? It saw a sign that said “Beware of fast cars,” but it knew it wasn’t a car, it was a squash!
- What do you get if you cross a bee and a squash? I don’t know, but it sure would be a buzzy-nut to meet!
- What’s a squash’s favorite sport? Squash, of course!
- What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot repeating “Squash!”
- Why did the squash get lost in the corn maze? Because it couldn’t find its squash-light!
- What do you call a sad squash? Melancholi-squash!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ash. Ash who? Bless you! You must have a squash cold!
- Why did the squash go to the doctor? It was feeling a little acorn-y!
- What did the mama squash say to her kids before they left for school? Have a gourd time!
- What’s a squash’s favorite dance move? The mashed potato!
- Why are squash so smart? Because they have lots of Vitamin-See!
Squash Jokes and Puns for Elders
- Why did the retired gardener win every squash competition? He was a seasoned pro.
- My doctor told me to eat more squash for my fiber… Sounds like a lot of gourd work to me!
- I tried to explain cryptocurrency to my friend who loves gardening. I said, “Imagine growing digital squash…” He said, “So, it’s a pump and dump scheme?”
- Why do squash players make terrible dancers? Because they always step on your toes on the court.
- Two old friends bump into each other at the farmer’s market. One says, “Remember our squash-growing rivalry?” The other replies, “Yeah, those were the gourd old days.”
- Ever notice how squash seems to multiply in your garden overnight? It’s like they have a secret society dedicated to world domination…one backyard at a time.
- My wife loves making butternut squash soup. Me? Not so keen. It’s a gourd-y affair, if you ask me.
- What do you call a really intense squash match between two retirees? A game of wrinkles and rackets.
- I saw a sign that said “Free Squash.” Turns out, there were strings attached.
- Why did the squash player get detention? He kept lobbing insults at his opponent.
- I went to a restaurant that served only squash dishes. Turned out to be a bit of a racket… overpriced and not much variety!
- What does a squash and a fine wine have in common? They both get better with age. (Sometimes.)
- You know you’re getting old when… You get winded just watching a game of squash.
- My physical therapist suggested I take up squash for exercise. I told him, “At my age, I’m more worried about my squash goals!”
- Retirement is like a garden full of possibilities… Some days you feel like a prize-winning pumpkin, others…well, you’re just a bit of a smashed squash.
Squash Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media
- Just saw a ghost trying to cook butternut squash… I guess you could say he was really spooked about dinner. 👻🎃
- Why don’t they play squash in the jungle? They’re afraid of a racket-eer like a tiger! 🐅🎾
- I tried to make a car out of squash once. It was a gourd-geous failure. 🚗🎃
- What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot saying ” Squash!” 🥕🦜
- Someone keeps stealing squash from my garden. I’m starting to think it’s an inside zucchini. 🕵️♀️🥒
- What’s a squash’s favorite genre of music? Anything butternut metal! 🤘🎃
- Why did the squash get lost in the corn maze? Because he couldn’t find his squash-buckling way out! 🌽🗺️
- I told my friend I was making butternut squash soup, but he didn’t believe me. Guess he’ll just have to *sea for himself! 🍲👀
- What do you call a group of squash playing heavy metal? A mash-pit. 🤘🎃
- My therapist told me to squash my feelings. I think I need a second ap-peach-ion. 🍑😌
- Why did the acorn squash fail its driving test? It kept running into the curb. 🌰🚗
- I tried to explain to my dog why he can’t eat squash… It went right over his gourd. 🐶🤯
That’s a Gourd Wrap on Squash Humor!
We hope these squash puns haven’t squashed your funny bone! But if you’re still hungry for more laughs, don’t just sit there like a lump on a vine – explore our website for a bountiful harvest of hilarious puns and jokes!