135+ Spider Puns & Jokes: You’ve Been Caught in Our Web!
🕷️ Get ready to laugh your webs off because you’ve stumbled upon the best list of spider puns and jokes this side of the internet! 😂 This hilarious collection of humor is perfect for kids and adults alike. We’ve spun a web of clever wordplay and silly jokes about our eight-legged friends that will leave you feeling positive and entertained. 😄 Get ready for some funny jokes about spiders, because this list is absolutely packed with the best puns – you’d have to be a scaredy-cat to miss out! 😹
Top ‘Spider Jokes’ – Best Picks
- Why did the spider get lost in the library? Because it walked into the “web” address bar!
- What do you call a spider that’s a skillful programmer? A web developer!
- I met a spider the other day that was an amazing writer. Turns out, he’s a web content creator!
- Why did the spider get a job at the bakery? He heard they needed someone to make the cobwebs for Halloween!
- What’s a spider’s favorite dating app? Plenty of Fish in the Web!
- Why are spiders such bad drivers? They’re always spinning out!
- My friend named his pet spider “Homework.” Why? Because every time he looks at it, he wants to run away!
- What’s a spider’s favorite genre of music? Anything with a good beat to spin to!
- I walked face-first into a spiderweb yesterday. Talk about getting caught in the World Wide Web!
- Why was the spider late to the meeting? It got tangled in a web of lies!
- What’s a spider’s favorite snack? Flies-in pies!
- What’s a tarantula’s favorite dance move? The Tangled Tango!
- I tried to explain to a spider that its web wasn’t a very secure password. It just looked at me like I didn’t understand technology.
- What’s a spider’s favorite board game? Catch Phrase! They always get stuck on the web.
- What do you call a spider that’s always getting into trouble? A web crawler!
- Why did the spider bring a ladder to the bar? He wanted to get a drink on the web, but the bar was too high!
- My friend tried to start a spider-themed band. It didn’t work out. They couldn’t find a drummer who could keep a beat with eight legs!
- Why don’t spiders play poker? They’re always bluffing with their eight hands!
- What did the spider say to the fly? Buzz off, I’m working on my web design!
Clever ‘Spider Puns’ – Best Picks
- What do you call a spider that’s always in trouble? A web designer on the dark web.
- Why did the spider get a job at the restaurant? They heard the flies were always open.
- I met a spider the other day that was a web developer. I asked him, “Can you spin me a website?”
- Why did the spider cross the road? To prove he wasn’t chicken… he was actually looking for a web designer job.
- My friend told me he’s afraid of spiders, so I told him to see a therapist. He said, “I already did. He told me to face my fears.” I said, “Well, that’s good advice!” Then he whispered, “Yeah, face-to-face…”
- What do you call a spider that’s good at basketball? Web-ber.
- Why don’t spiders play cards online? They can’t find a website that accepts flies as payment.
- What do you call a spider that’s a sore loser? A web whiner.
- What kind of music do spiders listen to? Anything with a good beat… and lots of flies.
- What did the spider say to the fly in the web? “Buzz off, I’m working on my novel!”
- Why are spiders such good storytellers? They always have a captivating web to spin.
- Why did the spider get lost on his walk? He didn’t know which way his web browser was pointing.
- How do you communicate with a spider? You have to speak their language – it’s all web-inar this, web-inar that.
- Did you hear about the spider that got a job as a fashion designer? His clothes are always selling like hot cakes… or should I say, flies in a web?
- What do you call a spider that’s always getting into fights? A web warrior.
- What do you get if you cross a spider and a sheep? A web designer who’s always getting fleeced.
- What’s a spider’s favorite snack? Micro-chips with web access.
- Why was the spider’s internet connection so slow? He was using a cob-web instead of fiber optic.
- You know, life is a lot like a spiderweb… Except in a spiderweb, it’s the flies who get stuck.
Funny ‘Spider One-Liner Jokes’ – Short & Funny Spider Jokes
- I met a spider named Jack today. Can you believe it? What are the odds of meeting a spider with a human name?
- That spider across the room is really bad at poker. I can see his tell.
- Spiders are excellent web designers, but their work is always underappreciated.
- I tried to start a spider orchestra once. Turns out, they’re all first violins.
- The spider quit his job at the bakery. He said he was tired of working for minimum wage.
- A spider just walked right past me like we’d never met. I guess you could say it’s history between us.
- Never ask a spider for relationship advice. They’re all about catching and never about letting go.
- Found a spider in my shoe this morning. Talk about starting your day on the wrong foot.
- My friend says his spider is psychic, but I’m pretty sure it’s just a web of lies.
- You know what’s a spider’s favorite dating app? Plenty of Fish.
- The spider was struggling to pay rent on his web. Turns out, location is everything in real estate.
- My friend said his spider can predict the future. I told him he was being spun a yarn.
- Spiders are so dramatic. It’s always “Do you want to live?” or “Get out of my sight!” with them.
- Being a spider must be hard. Imagine having to build your home every time you relocate.
- Two spiders walked past each other without waving. Guess you could say it was an awkward moment.
- Spiders are terrible dancers. They get all tangled up in their own legs.
- That spider over there is a successful entrepreneur. He’s a real web-preneur.
- Why did the spider cross the road? Nobody knows, they’re notoriously bad drivers.
Spider QnA Quip – QnA Jokes & Puns about Spider
- Q: Why did the spider get lost in the library? A: He went to the web address but it was a book, not a website.
- Q: What’s a spider’s favorite dating app? A: Plenty of Fish, obviously.
- Q: What do you call a spider that’s a sore loser? A: A web whiner!
- Q: What do you get if you cross a spider and a sheep? A: A sweater that’s itchy and creepy.
- Q: What do spiders eat with their burgers? A: Flies with cheese!
- Q: Why did the spider cross the road? A: To prove to the fly it wasn’t chicken!
- Q: What does a spider’s bride wear? A: A white webbing dress!
- Q: What kind of music do spiders love? A: Anything with a good beat… and flies!
- Q: Why did the spider get a job at the bakery? A: He heard they needed help with the cobwebs!
- Q: Why are spiders such good baseball players? A: They’re always catching flies!
- Q: How do you communicate with a tarantula? A: You don’t. They’re all terrible listeners.
- Q: What’s a spider’s favorite snack? A: Ant-ibiotics!
- Q: Why did the spider break up with the fly? A: He caught her seeing a bee-hind his back!
- Q: Where do spiders keep their money? A: In a web bank!
- Q: How did the spider feel after he accidentally deleted his important files? A: He felt terrible, like his whole world had been web-wiped!
- Q: What did the Daddy spider say to the baby spider? A: You spend too much time on the web!
- Q: What do you call it when a spider is playing an instrument? A: A web concert!
- Q: What’s a spider’s favorite ballet? A: The Nut-cracker!
- Q: Why was the spider late for the party? A: He got tangled in a web of lies!
Dad Jokes About Spider: Pun-Filled Quips
- I met a spider the other day who could write in cursive with its webs. Turns out he was a web designer!
- This morning I saw a spider doing push-ups on my windowsill. I guess he was trying to become a web developer.
- Why did the spider get lost in the library? He couldn’t find the flybrary!
- My son asked me what a spider’s favorite dance move was. I said, “The Tangled Web!”
- What does a spider’s bride wear? A white webbing dress!
- What do you call a spider that sells lemonade? A webpreneur!
- Why didn’t the spider go to the computer lab? He was afraid of the World Wide Web.
- Where do spiders keep their money? In a web bank, of course!
- I saw a spider eating flies in my garden. I guess you could say he was on a strict fly diet.
- My son asked me “Dad, are you afraid of spiders?” I said, “No way, I find them simply a-dork-able!”
- What does Spiderman put on his toast? Web jam!
- Where do cool spiders hang out? On the world wide web!
- I tried to explain to a spider why he shouldn’t steal, but he said he just couldn’t help it, it was in his web genes!
- What’s a spider’s favorite board game? Twister!
- My wife hates it when I leave my socks on the floor. I told her, “Don’t worry, they’re just catching flies!” She said, “Yeah, and soon we’ll have spiders!” I told her, “Perfect, then we can finally play that game of twister!”
- What’s eight legs, hairy, and goes “Heeeere’s Johnny!”? A Tarantula on the Johnny Carson show!
- Never ask a spider for relationship advice. They’re always too busy spinning webs of lies.
- Why are spiders terrible baseball players? They always catch flies!
- How do you communicate with a tarantula? You use a web cam!
Spider Jokes and Puns for Kids
- Why did the spider get lost in the library? Because it walked into the website!
- What do you call a spider that’s always in trouble? A webinar criminal!
- Where do spiders dance? At a web ball!
- What do you call a spider that works on a construction site? A web developer!
- How do you communicate with a fish? You drop them a webline!
- What do spiders eat with their burgers? Spider-fries!
- What’s a spider’s favorite snack? Flying saucers!
- Why did the spider cross the playground? To get to the other slide!
- What does a spider’s bride wear? A white webding dress!
- Why are spiders so smart? They can find everything on the web!
- What did the daddy spider say to his son who was scared of the dark? Don’t worry, just use your spider senses!
- Why are spiders good at baseball? They have eight legs to run the bases!
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Spider. Spider who? Spider-man, does whatever a spider can!
- Why did the spider bring a ladder to the party? Because it wanted to climb the wall!
- What do you get if you cross a spider and a sheep? A website you can’t access because it’s down!
- Why did the spider get detention? For spinning yarns!
- How did the spider get to the Olympics? It took a websley!
- Where do baby spiders learn the alphabet? In webinar school!
- What music do spiders like? Anything with a good website!
- What does a spider use to style its hair? A webrush!
Spider Jokes and Puns for Adults
- A spider just walked up to me at the bar and asked, “Hey, wanna get out of here and catch some flies?” Talk about a web designer with a terrible pickup line.
- I saw a spider wearing a tiny tuxedo last night. Turns out, he was on his way to the silk ball.
- My therapist told me to embrace my mistakes. I guess I should finally ask that spider to coffee after I walked through his web.
- Dating a spider is complicated. They’re always so wrapped up in their work, and you’re constantly walking on eggshells.
- Just got fired from my job at the silk factory. Turns out, my boss wasn’t a fan of me taking eight breaks an hour.
- A spider walks into a library and asks for books on how to fly. The librarian whispers, “Buzz off, they’re fiction.”
- What do you call a spider that sells drugs? A web dealer.
- You know a spider’s had a few too many drinks when they start spinning yarns instead of webs.
- Why did the spider get lost in the library? It went searching for the “World Wide Web.”
- Just saw a spider doing stand-up comedy. He killed. Mostly mosquitos, but still.
- My friend named his pet spider “Retirement Plan.” I asked why, and he said, “One day, I’m hoping it’ll spin me a web of wealth.”
- Tired of all these flies at my apartment. I need to call a web designer, preferably one with eight legs and a good portfolio.
- The life of a spider is just spin, eat, sleep, repeat. Sounds like my kind of weekend.
- Heard a rumor that spiders love listening to jazz. Something about appreciating the intricate web of melodies.
- Broke up with my spider girlfriend. She kept saying I was not her “type,” which was really insensitive considering all the flies she eats.
- Why did the spider break up with the butterfly? He said she was too clingy, and always seemed to flutter around him.
- Never ask a spider for relationship advice. They tend to have a very tangled view of love.
- What’s a spider’s favorite dating app? Plenty of Fish in my Web.
- My friend told me he’s starting a spider silk clothing line. I told him, “That’s a great idea! It’ll really catch on.”
- A spider walks into a doctor’s office and says, “Doctor, I think I’m addicted to the web!” The doctor replies, “Sounds like you have a serious problem. What browser are you using?”
Spider Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Other Social Media
- This spider web design is amazing, they really spun a tale! 🕷️✍️ (#spiderwebgoals)
- Met a spider today that was a web designer. It had its own site! 🕷️💻 (#spidertalent)
- Heard a rumor about a spider starting a heavy metal band. It’s called “Iron Web Maiden”! 🤘🕷️ (#spidermetal)
- Just bought a used car from a spider. It came with a built-in fly-thru! 🚗💨🕷️ (#spiderdeals)
- This spider just won’t leave me alone, I think it’s really taken a shine to me! ✨🕷️🙄 (#spiderproblems)
- Spiders are such talented weavers, they could give Picasso a run for his web! 🕷️🎨 (#spiderart)
- Why did the spider break up with the fly? Because it caught feelings! 😂💔
- Why don’t spiders play cards in the jungle? Too many cheetahs! 🐆🕷️🃏
- What do you call a spider that’s always in trouble? A web crawler! 🚓🕷️
- How do spiders communicate? Through the world wide web! 🕸️💬
- What does a spider use to catch a bus? A web token! 🚌🕷️
- Where do spiders go to dance? The web ball! 💃🕷️🕺
- My new pet tarantula is named “Hairy Potter”. 🧙♂️🕷️
- I named my spider “Charlotte” after the famous web designer! 🕸️✍️
- Hey, did you hear about the spider who couldn’t find his web? He was devastated. 😥🕷️
- What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato! (Okay, not spider related, but still hilarious!) 😂🥔
That’s All Folks!🕷️ Web You Out With Spider Humor?
We hope you’ve enjoyed these eight-legged puns and jokes – we had a web spinning them! Don’t let these jokes crawl away though, be sure to share them with your friends (or fly solo and keep them all to yourself). Looking for more laughs? Explore our website for a tangled web of hilarious puns and jokes!
